Matching Dragoons

Volume 1 vs Volume 2 - Issue #2

2012-01-25T11:43:00.001-06:00

This week we have "The Lair of the Parrot" going head to head with "Dia De Los Santos Reyes"
We run through each book and judge them based on Plot, Art, Story, Cover, and Body Count. Feel free to chime in with your two cents. First up:

Plot: Basically the 'pitch', the idea behind the story
TLotP: Hex is railroaded into helping the Secret Service try to stop a Mexican bandit named El Papagayo and ends up being framed for murder by Quentin Turnbull.

DdlSR: A gold cross is stolen from a mission, a padre is killed and Hex takes the Padres niece along to recover the cross.

Verdict: I think I have to give it to TLotP on this one. The plot had a lot more to offer and had more twists and turns.

Art:
TLotP: Again, Jose Luis Garcia Lopez. Again, I'm watching a beautiful movie unfold before my eyes.

DdlSR: Again, Luke Ross. However, there are a few pages that are pretty static and there were some problems with the word balloon placement.

Verdict: Lopez vs Ross again, but Ross stumbles on this one and I have to handily give it to TLotP.

Story: The actual writing and how the story unfolds
TLotP: Well, we have a brand new enemy for Hex, a new ongoing storyline and the reappearance of the Man with the Eagle Topped Cane.

DdlSR: I like how Jimmy and Justin start the stories in the middle of the action, gets you rolling right along. Later on the story kind of stumbles and thuds along, especially near the end with the cave in.

Verdict: Three for three? Yup! This one was a runaway for TLotP. I think J and J were hampered slightly by wanting to do Done-in-Ones and Fleisher was chomping at the bit to get an ongoing story arc going.

Cover: How well does it catch the eye and draw a buyer into a story. Can it generate new readers?
TLotP: A good angle on the scene, Jonah jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Two downsides, the text at the top and the HUGE, I mean HUUUUGE fence on the left that guy is falling off of.

DdlSR: Jonah Hex, bandana, hat, scar, riding across a field of red hot skulls. It doesn't do much to pitch the story inside but it sure catches the eye.

Verdict: As much as I love Lopez, I have to give this one to Manco with the poster ready cover. If you didn't know who Jonah Hex was, you sure would want to find out. DdlSR!

Body Count: How many folks are killed by Hex, or should it be ALL dead bodies in the story?
TLotP: 5

DdlSR: 1

Verdict: TLotP!

FINAL TALLY: With a score of 4-1, looks like The Lair of the Parrot wins this one.

Standings:

Jonah Hex V1 - 1
Jonah Hex V2 - 0
Ties - 1

NEXT: The Fugitive goes up against An Eye for an Eye

Volume 1 vs Volume 2 - Issue #1

2012-01-20T06:00:00.000-06:00

I was sitting around thinking a little bit about Jonah Hex V1 and how it stands up to the newer, grittier V2. So, here we go with a head to head comparison of "Vengeance for a Fallen Gladiator" against "Giving the Devil His Due".

Plot:
VFG: Hex is hired by a wealthy man to find a missing boy. Boy has been kidnapped and is used in a boy-fighting ring. Boy dies, Hex causes the kidnappers to fight each other and kidnappers fall off a cliff. Hex returns boys body but father has passed away and leave coffin with grieving mother.

GDHD: Hex is hired by a wealthy man to find a missing boy. Boy has been kidnapped and is used in a boy/dog fighting ring. Hex forces kidnapper to 'fight' vicious dogs and kidnapper is eaten. Boy has rabies and Hex smothers the boy. Hex returns boys body to the family.

Winner? Well, it's a tie. They both have the same plot and in both Hex refuses payment.

Art:
VFG: Jose Luis Garcia Lopez. There are not four bigger words in the world of comic book art than those. Lopez has a clean style, a sense of space, and a strong handle on the art of cinema and all of that comes through the page. The only downside of the whole book was the cartoonish face of LeClerc.

GDHD: Luke Ross is probably one of three artists today that could take on Lopez stroke for stroke. Ross has a wonderful clean, almost photographic quality. Again, Ross shows great skill in handling the 'camera' especially on the opening sequence.

Winner? Damn, it's a tie again!

Story:
VFG: Fleisher has a good handle on Hex and where he wants to go with him. However, he hasn't delved very deeply into the mind of the bounty hunter. The bulk of the story is action and the dialogue keeps it clipping along.

GDHD: Palmiotti and Gray have a chore in front of them. Introduce this bounty hunter to the new readers, don't piss off the old hardcore fans, and cleanse the pallet of the Vertigo imprint. They do a great homage to Fleisher by using the original plot, but more than that, they let us see that Jonah is a little bloodier, a little uglier, and the inner spiritual turmoil between Hex and God is laid out there from the get-go.

Winner? I would have to give this one to Palmiotti and Gray, but just by a hair.

Cover:
VFG: A Lopez cover with a great perspective showing Hex being drug towards a waiting coffin. We don't get a good look at Hex, but readers of WWT were waiting for this issue and didn't need to see Hex's mug. To new readers it promised danger and excitement.

GDHD: A Quitely cover that is lovingly rendered in great detail. That horrible scarred face fills up the entire cover.

Winner? I think I have to go with the Lopez cover on this one. A cover is to get people to pick up the book and I think VFG does it a lot better than GDHD.

So we have tie, tie, V2, V1. I would call that a tie overall.

Next time "Lair of the Parrot" faces off against "Dia De Los Santos Reyes".

Update: Just for grins I thought I would throw in the body count.. VFG had 1 and GDHD had 2. Should I use that as a tie breaker?

Jonah Hex V2 #7 "One Wedding & Fifty Funerals"

2012-01-18T19:55:00.000-06:00

Jonah Hex V2 #7 Jul 2006
"One Wedding and Fifty Funerals"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Luke Ross, art - Giuseppe Camuncoli and Lorenzo Ruggiero, cover

Blood Creek, Texas is engulfed in flame, Jonah Hex marches down the center of main street towards several men waiting with guns.

Hellfire Rains on Texas - Hex fires and the bullet rips through the heart of the first gunman to fall. Jonah dives forward and we follow the path of the second bullet right into the eye of the second to die. Amidst the gunfire, Hex hits the dirt, rolling and firing. Three, four, five and six fall in quick succession and then Hex's guns are empty. A man with a rifle comments that Jonah's luck just ran out.

'Til Death Do Us Part - One week earlier we are the wedding of Peter and Margaret Decker, actually the reception following. Jonah is sitting in the corner of the tent, feet on a table, calmly smoking. Margaret comes over and tells him to have a drink to which Hex declines the offer. Turns out that Hex is waiting for the wedding to be over so that he can take Peter to El Paso even though Peter claims he is innocent.

The married couple open their presents and Decker receives a wonderful rifle from his new bride. Outside, unknown to the wedding party, several masked men with torches approach on horseback. The men hurl the torches onto the tent and as everyone tries to escape the flames, the riders open fire. The newlyweds attempt to escape but Decker is gunned down as he tries to save his wife. She starts yelling at the riders to show their faces and the leader pulls down his kerchief.

It's Brian, a man who claims to have loved Margaret first and warned her not to marry Decker. Brian fires and Hex knocks Margaret to the ground, saving her. Hex opens fire, killing Brian's horse. Brian falls to the ground, grabs up Decker's rifle, steals a horse and rides off.

Innocence in Death - El Paso, the next day. Hex rides into town with the body of Pete Decker and the $500 reward poster. The sheriff looks at the body and states that there is a strong resemblance to the guy they caught at the border yesterday and who confessed to the killing. Seems Decker is an innocent man.The sheriff asks if Hex killed him and Jonah relates the story. The sheriff says that he'll get a statement from Margaret (who came along in a buckboard) and that there will be a new bounty on Brian Albert. Hex says he'll bring him in and the sheriff asks "dead or alive?"

Hex responds, "Since when is alive an option?"

Hunting Through the Mad World - One week later. Brian Albert is riding to escape Hex even as they exchange gunfire. They encounter several dozen people fleeing across the desert, shouting for them not to go to Blood Creek. Darkness falls as the two riders pierce the edge of town and Brian and his mount are gunned down. Jonah's horse is the next to go but Jonah rolls and manages to avoid the deadly onslaught.

Hex lays in the dirt, surrounded by the gunmen and he groans out "I don't know your business here, but you just shot my horse for no good reason. I had no quarrel with you boys but that's all over now."
The men start taunting Hex and he slowly rises to his feet. He states that he isn't the law, he's Jonah Hex and that the man they killed stole something that he intends to take back. The leader says that he hopes it isn't the rifle.

Jonah replies that it is and the leader says that since he found it on a dead man, it is now his. A flunky comes out of a nearby saloon and tosses a torch onto a large pile of dead bodies saying, "Almost done Mr. Redgrave." Darkness has now enveloped the small town. Men are working on a nearby oil derrick and lightning starts dancing on the horizon. Mr. Redgrave tells Hex that he should leave town while he still can, everything will be considered a fair trade.

Thunder rolls into town, pushing the rain ahead of itself. Hex says that Redgrave should give him the rifle and Hex will let everyone live. THAT'S a fair trade. Redgrave bursts into laughter and the lightning slashes across the sky. Hex says that he doesn't care what happened in town, how many people he killed for the oil field, with what Redgrave stands to make he can buy a hundred rifles better than the one they are fighting over. Redgrave tells his men to kill Hex.

Hex pulls back his riding coat, exposing his pistols, saying "There's a choice to be made. You can live rich or you can die right here." They respond "You're scaring no one, mister."

Just then a stray bolt of lightning strikes the tallest structure in town, the oil derrick and the whole thing explodes into Hellfire and damnation! Hex pulls his pistols and starts mowing down Redgrave's men.

Now Where Were We? - Hex is out of bullets and Redgrave notes the irony of Hex being killed with the rifle he wished to possess. Hex reaches into his coat and replies, "That rifle's been nothing but trouble for any man holding it." Jonah has a sheriff star in his hand, he throws it and it catches Redgrave right in the eye.

Hex rushes Redgrave and smashes the star even further into the man's eye and into his brain. Redgrave is dead at Hex's feet. Jonah reaches down and pulls the sheriff start out of the dead man's skull and we see the words ST. ROCH on it.

Bittersweet Returns - Hex rides back with the body of Brian Albert and approaches a cabin as dawn crawls across the sky. He knocks on the cabin door, calling "Mrs. Decker? It's Jonah Hex." There is no answer and Hex goes inside. He gets to the bedroom and finds Margaret Decker in her wedding gown in bed....dead. A note leans against a bottle of poison. Hex picks up the note and...

He places two coins over her eyes and takes the body of Brian Albert into El Paso.

Statistics for This Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - Whew! This one is going to be tough because of the flashback/flash forward. At the beginning we see six men go down, Hex kills a man during the wedding raid, and it looks like four more when we get back to Blood Creek. Add in Redgrave and that makes 12. I'll go with that unless Palmiotti and Gray say otherwise.
Running Total - 546 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 44 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Horse shot out from under him.
Timeline - No particular date but this one covers about a week
Rape Percentage - 2 out of 7 (29%)

I honestly have to say that I had no idea what the reference to St. Roch was and had to look it up to learn about the tie-in to Nighthawk (aka Hawkman) who was once the sheriff there.

I enjoyed the story as it had a few nice bits but I had read some other folks that felt the derrick explosion was a bit of a stretch, there only to give Hex a distraction to exploit. I enjoyed the layout of the story, starting off with the full blown action and then jumping back in time and finally getting us right back to where we started. I was also very fond of Hex's response to the suicide note. We never see the note, making his response even more priceless.

That is one thing that really shines in this renewed Jonah Hex, the story structure is never boring. Palmiotti and Gray are constantly looking for new ways to spin a yarn and for the most part they succeed.

Oddly enough, this issue was actually solicited with a different cover that was probably considered too bloody for the comics rack.

Next Issue - Four, count 'em, four new artists and we see a slow rise in a certain percentage.

Tubby Tuesdays #6

2012-01-17T06:00:00.000-06:00

Tubby

Desires low self-esteem

Personals of the Old West

2012-01-14T10:26:00.000-06:00

Estranged SW Bounty Hunter ISO woman.

Prefer exotic passionate type.

Should enjoy having good clean fun.

Must be willing to cut loose and kick up her heels.

Jonah Hex V2 #6 "Goin' Back to Texas in a Box"

2012-01-13T13:04:00.003-06:00

Jonah Hex V2 #6 Jun 2006
"Goin' Back to Texas in a Box"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray - story, Luke Ross - art, Brian Bolland - cover

The Plague of Salvation - A man is dragging himself across the desert sands. He is covered in sores. A shadow falls across him as a rider comes upon him and we see about seven more bodies in the sand behind the man, all of them having drug themselves across the desert.

Jonah puts the man onto his horse and they both ride to the nearest town, a small outfit in the middle of nowhere, ringed with a wire fence and flying a flag. As Hex nears the town armed guards confront him and he asks if they have any medicine, it appears that his passenger has the Plague. The guards inspect the man and find that he is dead. They are also curious how Jonah got past the Apache that have cut off the town from civilization. Hex replies, "Quietly".

As Jonah rides on into town we overhear a hushed conversation between two nuns, Sister Agatha (played by Linda Hunt) and Sister Evelyn. Agatha tasks Evelyn with 'washing up' and bringing the dead man back so they can inspect him.

Hex continues on into town, riding past a flagpole flying a blue flag and a red flag on the ground. Hex ends up at the saloon where he is informed by the bartender (played by Geoffrey Lewis)that Salvation is a dry town. Jonah inquires about the flags and learns that the town is beset by Apache raids, blue flag means it's all quiet, red means trouble is coming. Jonah asks for a room where he can wash up and Lilly, the bar girl, offers to take him upstairs.

In the room, Lilly lounges on the bed. Hex asks when the plague hit town and she says that it started about a week ago. Hex asks when the last Apache raid was and Lilly says that he shouldn't ask so many questions and that he should hop in bed with her. Hex declines and the conversation continues..

..and is interrupted by a NUN WITH A GUN!!! Evelyn shows up with a shotgun and tells Lilly to clear out. Lilly leaves but stays right outside the door, eavesdropping. She learns that Evelyn is warning Hex to leave town and that Hex and Evelyn actually know each other from before Jonah's scarring. Jonah mentions that seventeen years have gone by but Evelyn interrupts him again, saying that HER scars are not as evident, but she has them all the same.

Lilly has now made tracks out of the saloon and over to the other nuns who have gathered in the street. The nuns round up a few men and they all head over to the saloon and up to the room. Evelyn is warning Jonah to leave Salvation, the town is run by Sister Agatha and he MUST get away. Just then, Sister Sarah bursts in and tells Evelyn that lying is a sin, worse than trying to bed Jonah for her own pleasure (this according to Lilly). One of the men punches Jonah and he retaliates, tempers flare and guns are raised. Evelyn jumps in front of Jonah and confesses that she tried to bed Jonah but he refused, he is no sinner. Sarah states that Agatha will decide that.

Shortly thereafter, we see Jonah and Evelyn bound and gagged in the middle of the street. They are tied to a large pole atop a huge bundle of wood and it appears that they will be burned at the stake. The townsfolk gather around for the burning and Sister Agatha shows up carrying a torch and a small child. Several dozen children fall into step behind her.

Trial by Fire - Agatha approaches the stake and tells Jonah that it is heathens like him that try to corrupt the children, she tells the kids to gaze upon the scarred face of evil and then she whispers under her breath "Don't ever think I forgot you, Jonah Hex."

The townsfolk have started throwing rocks and Agatha is gloating about destroying the wicked,, however, we are privy to seeing over a dozen Apache sneak into town and make their way right up to where the burning will take place.

What happens next is one of the most cinematic sequences in comic book history and rather than destroy it with words, I'll let the pictures speak for themselves...

Hex confronts Agatha, saying she got lucky in Juarez and now she is hiding behind children. Agatha states that the Lord is watching over her now but Hex slaps her to the ground, picks her up and throws her out the window and into the street. Hex exits the building with several children attacking him. He tells the townsfolk to get their brats off of him and then he walks over to Agatha and uses his boot to grind her face into the broken glass in the street.

Hex pulls out a wanted poster for Mary B. Norton and addresses the Apache, telling them they have fought well this day, but this place is poisoned, they should take their dead and go home. He then turns to the town and tells them to let the Apache go or he will kill them all. Agatha rears up, pulls a knife and buries it in Jonah's right thigh and she takes off running. Hex pulls the knife out and draws his pistol but a shot rings out and Agatha falls dead in the street. Lilly is standing there with a smoking shotgun.

Hex points to Agatha's body and says "Put that in a cheap box." Then he picks up the burned body of Evelyn and says....

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 4

Running Total - 534 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 32 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Punched, almost burned, shot in right shoulder, stabbed in right thigh
Timeline - At the latest, Hex knew Evelyn in 1866 (right before he was scarred) placing this at the latest 1883. At the earliest, he knew her after he was rescued from the Apache (1854) but he was only 16 then. From their discussion, I would figure that Hex was at the very least 19, placing their meeting in 1857 so this story could be as early as 1874. Figure in Mei Ling that means that this could have taken place in 1874, or 1877-1883. (I'm leaving 75 & 76 alone for reasons of the marriage and family turmoil and the trip to China)
Rape Percentage - 33% (2 out of 6)

This has to be one of my favorite stories and I'm afraid that I won't be able to properly convey the awe that I have for this issue. Everything in this is pitch perfect.

The burning sequence shown above so wonderfully portrays the hysteria and the confusion at the burning, how Hex works at getting the fire put out, getting shot in the shoulder, the bullet holes in the trough, the holes in the bucket, each drop of water hitting the dirt before it can douse the flames and finally Jonah realizing that Evelyn will die. Finally, there is that horrible agony of the fatally burned Evelyn, being held in Jonah's arms, asking for nothing more than one last kiss and then..THEN.. to have that denied by the Apache arrow that runs her through and lodges in Hex as well. I was almost in tears.

And the savagery of Hex afterwards. He doesn't scream her name, he doesn't vow to avenge her. He picks up and throws the Apache in to the flames, shoots a man and then hurls the bullet riddled corpse at more attackers, beats the hell out of Agatha and grinds her face into the broken glass in the dirt.

Finally...FINALLY, he hands out the best justice to Lilly as we know he will force her to dig Evelyn's grave with her bare hands.

Slap a Bolland cover on that and we are talking perfection folks (Why couldn't they have done THIS issue for the Jonah Hex movie? WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?) This issue is worth easily triple the $2.99 cover price.

Man, I get chills just TALKING about this book. I better stop now, I'm getting light headed.

Next Issue - A Wedding, a thunderstorm, and then all Hell breaks loose.

Tubby Tuesday #5

2012-01-10T06:00:00.000-06:00

Tubby

Understands Conceal Carry

Tubby Tuesday #4

2012-01-03T06:00:00.000-06:00

Tubby

was the 99% before it was cool

Jonah Hex V2 #5 "Christmas With the Outlaws"

2012-01-01T22:30:00.001-06:00

Jonah Hex V2 #5 May 2006
"Christmas with the Outlaws"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray, story - Tony DeZuniga, art - Tim Bradstreet, cover

Christmas With The Outlaws - A train cuts across a frozen landscape, snow whirling in its wake and the black smoke cutting a burnt scar across the sky. The train comes to a stop at a small depot on December 25th, 1870 and Jonah Hex and his handcuffed bounty, Mike Harley, walk into the depot. In the station, the old station master recognizes Harley and is aghast that Harley has been caught but isn't surprised that it was Jonah Hex that did it.

The station master calls for Lula to bring them all drinks, on the house. Hex states that a drink is fine, but he's waiting on the Rangers to pick up Harley and doesn't want this night to turn into a social gathering. The master says that it might be one anyway. Harley explains that his boys are coming to spring him free. The master reminds Harley that Frank Denson's gang has been hunting Harley since he killed Denson's little brother back in '67. Denson telegraphed the station that he was coming and that everyone should clear out.

Hex has a bad feeling about the encroaching gangs coming in and tells the old man to get him and the girl outta there. Lula then points out that they can't leave since they are already surrounded.

The Not So Wise Men - A yell from outside reveals that Sanchez and the rest of Harley's gang are there. Hex asks what weapons are on hand and Lula tells him they have two shotguns and a pistol. Hex tells Harley to have the gang leave or he'll blow his head off, to which Harley replies that the bounty is only if he is alive and he ain't worth dying for.

The old man pipes up that he's ready for a fight and that he'll help hold them off, but Lula argues that they didn't buy into this fight and aren't ready for it. Hex tells everyone to calm down but Harley reminds Hex that things are going to get really nasty once Denson and his boys ride up, best take the easy way out now. Lula picks up a shotgun, aims at Harley and says that she doesn't care what happens to him, she just ain't ready to die so Hex can get paid.

Sanchez yells in, asking if Harley is coming out. Tempers are starting to rise in the small depot as the old man pushes the shotgun down in Lula's hands, telling her to put it away. She shouts back for him to shut up and for Harley to walk out the door, followed by Hex. They can all kill each other all day, just someplace else.

The door swings open and Sanchez walks in, Lula instinctively whirls and blows Sanchez backwards into the snow. Hex jumps up and kicks the door shut and tells everyone to get down as the rest of Harley's gang open up on the depot. Harley, on the floor is screaming for his gang to stop before they kill him and the shooting subsides. Hex peeks out the window and sees that things have gone from bad to worse as Harley's gang has been completely wiped out by the Denson boys that just arrived amidst the storm.

The Ghosts of the Past - Hex takes aim and shoots the hat off of Denson's head and tells Denson that the Texas Rangers are on their way to collect Harley and that is EXACTLY how things are going to play out. Denson demands to know who he is talking to and the voice comes back "Jonah Woodson Hex." With those words, half of Denson's men mount up and take off. Denson starts to try to reason with Hex while signalling to his men to surround the depot.

Denson asks for Hex to let the station master and his granddaughter go, but Hex nixes that idea. Lula and the old man start for the door but Hex warns that they'll be used as hostages to which Harley quickly agrees. One of Denson's men kicks in a portion of a side wall and Hex quickly shoots the man's toe off. Hex says that he will not barter and he will not negotiate and Harley says that Hex knows what will come next.

An Outbreak of Lead Poisoning - Of course, they will try to burn Hex out.

The station master has had enough and knows that Denson is a reasonable man and he opens the door to head out. Denson's men shout that the old guy has a rifle and mow him down, Hex responds with a quick killing of one of Denson's men. Denson demands that his boys hold their fire but three of them slam their way through a back door and Harley shoots one and Hex kills the rest before they can get a shot off. Hex then takes the shotgun away from Harley.

Hex tells Lula to tend to the old man before he bleeds to death. The old man, still alive throws in his two cents just as a flaming torch crashes through the window and Denson's men toss a few more up onto the roof. Harley tells Hex that it looks like the Rangers are gonna be too late, uncuff him and they both have better chance of getting through this. Hex thinks for a second and tosses the keys to Harley. Harley uncuffs himself and Hex lays everything out.

He tells everyone to be ready to run and get right behind him and warns Harley to not get shot. By now the depot is fully engulfed and Denson shouts in that it makes no sense why Hex is letting everyone die. Just then Hex crashes out through a window and Harley bursts out the door and six men are quickly killed, the snow soaking up their blood. Harley grabs a pistol from a dead man and attempts to shoot Hex from behind. He misses and quickly mounts up on a waiting horse. Hex takes aim and shoots the horse out from underneath Harley.

Lula and her grandfather emerge from the burning depot as Hex advances on Harley, now pinned under the horse he tried to escape on. Hex tosses the cuffs to Harley and tells him to put them on. Harley tries to reason with Hex since it's Christmas, why not let him go? Hex says that Harley is Jonah's present to himself. Harley says that there ain't a jail that can hold him, he has a lot of money and money can buy freedom. Hex tells him to shut up.

Lula is livid, the station is burnt to the ground and everything they owned was in there. Just then the Texas Rangers show up and Hex asks about his money. The Rangers then pull their pistols and free Harley. He smiles and says, "Sam, I'm surprised to see you riding with the law." Sam says that it don't pay as well as bank robbing but he heard Harley was caught and that HE would like to collect the reward. Harley mounts up and tells Hex that the next time when someone offers money bigger than the reward, go with the money and since it's Christmas and all, he won't kill Hex for all the trouble he's caused. Harley and the Rangers ride off.

Standing among the smoldering remains of the depot, the station master observes that Harley is a smart as a fox, but Hex thinks that someday he'll wander into the wrong henhouse.

The Wrong Henhouse - 1880, Christmas Day. A train, plowing through a heavy snow, struggles up a steep grade. Suddenly an explosion rips the tracks and the engine to piece. Harley, Sam and the others descend onto the train and head for the bank car to finish off their last job in style. As they whip open the boxcar door they are greeted by Jonah Hex and a Gatling gun and ........

Statistics for This Issue

Men Killed by Jonah Hex - 16
Running Total - 530 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 28 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - none
Timeline - 1870 and 1880
Rape Percentage - 40%

This story has several unique features. One is the given dates for the tale, something unusual in the new Hex; another is the artwork from Tony DeZuniga (more on that later); a third is the environment, snow (darn few Westerns take place in the snow, sadly).

The story is a great one (better on a re-read than what I originally remember. The claustrophobia caused by the storm, the small depot, the bickering inside, and the changing face of the danger outside really drive home that Jonah is not in charge of this situation but is still trying to hold everything together. I also enjoyed that the station Manager and his granddaughter weren't on the same page with regards to Hex and the situation. One more thing about the story, actually about the style of Palmiotti and Gray. The chapter titles. I love them. It gives the book an overall feel of a serial, either as a dime novel, a Saturday morning movie serial, a tale told around the campfire, whatever it is. The chapters give you a little breather from the action, a small hint of what is to come and because of how much I like them, I'm going to start listing them in the recap as well.

Tony DeZuniga is back, and at first I had mixed feelings. Many years have passed since we last saw his work (1984 to be exact. 22 years?) and his style is now a lot looser, more sketchy and a LOT more stylized with less detail in places, added lens-flare effects (seen below) but there are a few hints of the early DeZuniga with the action crossing panel borders, characters bursting through panels and even blood dripping across the page backgrounds. At first I didn't care for the final page (seen above), but again, on re-reading it, I'm enjoying it more.

The cover by Tim Bradstreet is near photographic in quality and was in the running for one of the ten best covers of Jonah Hex V2.

All in all, one of the better stories of the new Hex.

Next Issue - Geoffrey Lewis, Linda Hunt, Indians, the Plague and NUNS WITH GUNS!!!

Yeah, posting in November will be light

2011-11-14T19:04:00.003-06:00

Why? Well, after having recovered from our SECOND earthquake, I'm now getting ready for the Boardgamegeek convention in Dallas. What's that? Just a nearly week long gathering for players of board games sponsored by Boardgamegeek, the best user built database of boardgames on the whole internet. Attendance tips the 2,000 mark this year.

So while I'm gone, you can enjoy the wonderful episodes of Space Station Alpha! Sadly there is no embedding, so you'll have to go and watch the episodes on the church website:

Episode 1: The Station loses life support.

Episode 2: The crew encounters Adam Zane.

Episode 3: Can the Station save Earth?

Episode 4: (Available Nov 21) The final fate of Space Station Alpha.

These are geared for kids 6-10 yrs old. Hope you enjoy them.

Now everyone will know where Sparks, Oklahoma is...

2011-11-06T07:54:00.001-06:00

..because of last night. But a little history, first.

I live in Oklahoma City, right smack dab in the middle of the state. Also, there are a few fault lines that run through the state and we do get a lot of tremors, mostly in the 2 and below range. Earlier this year we had a 4.2 south of here that we felt and the day before yesterday there was a 4.7 in Prague. But last night.... last night. Whew.

My mom & sister are visiting for my birthday and Eldest Son and his Lovely Girlfriend were over as well. I had thought about building a fire outside, I opened the patio door and I thought I heard thunder. Odd, it's supposed to rain on Monday.

Well, the evening was closing up, Son & his Girlfriend had left, Mom & Sis were in bed and it thundered again. But it got louder...and the house started shaking...and it got louder still.. and the house shook harder. We were having another earthquake and it was a big one this time. It probably lasted about 45 seconds.

Now you may laugh at our reactions. I know we do when folks that aren't used to it encounter torrential rain, hail the size of softballs, tornadoes that rip the foundation out of the ground, months of 100+ heat. But I promise, God, that I'll never do that again. We ended up experiencing a 5.6 earthquake, centered in Sparks, Oklahoma, about 60 miles straight east of us. (The old record was 5.5 back in 1952.)

Of course, reports came in from all over as to who felt it. First was Joplin (187 miles) and Wichita Falls (187), but the we heard of Dallas (232) and Kansas City (345) but this morning I'm reading of Chicago and Milwaukee (848 miles).

Needless to say, I won't be mocking folks in the other parts of the country when they have a tornado.. not unless they call the TV news and say this...

I'm sure that Amy speaks for me and everyone else in the state.

Happy Birthday, Jonah. Happy Birthday, Michael

2011-11-01T14:07:00.000-05:00

Yup, November 1st is Jonah Hex's birthday. Today would have been his 173rd birthday. Sadly, I didn't make him a cake, nor did I make a quick sketch. Susan, over at One Fangirl's Opinion, manages to write a heck of a post, presenting sketches and history that I hadn't seen or heard before (WWT was actually canceled? Why didn't I notice that?)

So have a slice of cake, drink a shot of something, read or watch a western, and thank everyone involved for giving us Jonah Hex.

It's also Michael Fleisher's birthday and he is 69. Happy Birthday, Mr. Fleisher.

Jonah Hex V2 #4 "The Time I Almost Died"

2011-10-14T18:54:00.002-05:00

Jonah Hex V2 #4 Apr 2006
"The Time I Almost Died"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray, story - Luke Ross, art - Howard Chaykin, cover

Six armed men stand outside a log cabin, demanding that the inhabitants exit the premises. Frustrated, the men shoot the cabin to pieces and then storm in to find.... nothing. Standing in the middle of the cabin they uncover a trapdoor in the floor and as they are about to open it, Jonah Hex rains down death from his hiding place in the rafters. The men dead, Hex jumps down into the pools of blood as a man, Chako, crawls out of the trapdoor.

Turns out Chako is a bounty that Hex has been dragging along for two weeks since Chako is wanted alive. Chako keeps pleading his innocence and offers Hex bribes of women, other bounties, almost everything because he keeps talking non-stop.

When Hex and Chako finally make it to Tall Pines, Colorado, Chako is gagged and then turned over to the local sheriff. The mayor thanks Hex for bringing Chako in but Jonah notes that the mayor has no money in his hand. The mayor explains that the bank is closed but he will have the money first thing in the morning. Hex explains that he will take Chako back until the money is produced and demands that the mayor open the bank and get the cash.

Just then a young woman comes running down the street and slaps Hex across the face and spits in his eye. The mayor appears and apologizes for that is his daughter Mayleen. Mayleen is mute and is severely upset by what has transpired. The mayor states that the very mention of Chako's name drives her to tears and he instructs two of his men to take her back to the hardware store and settle her down. As she is escorted away, she throws a pleading look to Hex.

The mayor thanks Hex again for bringing Chako in and Hex says that he doesn't appreciate the mayor hiring Aubrey McHane and his boys as insurance and that they are all dead. The mayor asks if Hex is moving on and Jonah replies that it ain't none of the mayor's concern.

Jonah heads off for the saloon and gets into a poker game only to have Mayleen interrupt it with a note that states: Chako is innocent. I helped Chako escape. You brought him back. His blood is on your hands now. She runs out and Hex follows close behind.

Jonah catches up to her and asks "Are you saying that Chako DIDN'T rape you?" (Rape Reference #2 for the series) He demands to know what really happened but she won't reveal it. Hex tells her to get to someplace safe.

Jonah then goes to the jail and breaks Chako out, locking the deputy in the cell and demanding that Chako shut up and tell him what really happened. As they exit the jail, they are greeted by the mayor and three gunmen. The mayor gives instructions to tie and gag them, 'soften their dispositions' and have them ready to hang as soon as possible.

Hex wakes up sometime later to find himself in a cell with the still-talking Chako. Hex breaks Chako's nose to shut him up.

We then find the mayor locking Mayleen in a storeroom in the hardware store to keep her out of the way, but Mayleen starts working at getting the key out of the lock using a hairpin.

We next find the town gathered around the gallows, Chako and Hex gagged with nooses around their necks. As the mayor rails on about their crimes, Hex for helping a prisoner escape and Chako for raping the mayor's daughter we find Mayleen kicking open the storage room door, grabbing a rifle from the store and rushing to the gallows.

The lever is pulled and the trapdoor drops as Mayleen opens fire. The crowd turns and the mayor screams for someone to disarm his daughter, but the town is standing agape at what they see. Mayleen has taken the barrel of the rifle and written in the dirt:

MY FATHER DID IT

The mayor tells the executioner to throw the next lever, killing Hex. The townspeople shout for him to stop. The guy starts to pull the lever and a shot hits the gallows next to him, the townspeople have pulled their weapons and are now demanding Hex be released. They ungag Hex and he confirms Mayleens story, saying that Mayleen helped Chako escape. Mayleen runs up and hugs the hanging body of Chako.

The gallows trapdoor springs open and the mayor hangs dead next to the man he had killed... BUT WAIT! Chako is still alive! They cut him down and he starts talking ninety to nothing, thanking Hex but asking where Hex is going.

Jonah mounts up and rides off into the sunrise muttering under his breath, "Somewheres quiet."

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 6
Running Total - 514 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 12 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - obviously beaten up and knocked out
Rape Percentage - 50% (2 references in 4 issues)

I enjoyed this issue, more for Chako than anything else. The idea of someone talking non-stop was played to a perfect comedic tone, especially the scene where Chako's nose gets broken. I enjoyed other little touches of Jonah not wanting to sit with his back to the saloon door; demanding that the mayor open the bank to get the money; the executioner apologizing for hanging Hex. The art was good, (the people are all distinct and the expressions are fantastic) the color and dialogue were great. A nice above average issue.

Next Issue: Geoffrey Lewis, Linda Hunt, Indians, sickness and NUNS WITH GUNS!!!

Weekend, what weekend?

2011-10-04T20:23:00.002-05:00

Wow, that was one heck of a weekend! Spent two whole days and part of another doing a video shoot for our children's church services. This shoot was on location in Seminole, Oklahoma and west of Cogar, Oklahoma. (Ya get triple points if you know where Seminole is, quintuple points if you have even HEARD of Cogar.) I got to play a Grandpa to a twelve year old girl, teach her to fish, and explain the love of Jesus to her and how the Holy Spirit can help her with life.

I have to admit, hanging around twelve year old girls is something (me being a father to two now-20 something boys) that can wear a fella out. It was lots of fun and I'll post links to any video of it that pops up (I might be posting some next week)

Meanwhile, here is a trailer for an upcoming series that I was also in, called Space Station Alpha.

Well, so far I have played:

A fat retired dragon
An angel from Brooklyn
A grocery store owner
An obnoxious street preacher
An escaped mental patient
A hard nosed space pilot
A grandpa

I don't THINK I'm being typecast.. am I?

All Star Western #1 - First Impressions

2011-09-28T13:21:00.002-05:00

WOW! Oh, you want a little more specifics that that? Well, okay. Let's break this down little by little:

Writing: It's Palmiotti and Gray. And it's GOOD Palmiotti and Gray! The dialogue, the phrasing, pacing, cadence, everything about the language rings true for the place and period. There isn't a missed note in the speech of these characters.

Art: I had never seen Moritat before but his work here is fantastic, especially with the coloring work. The art is detailed and yet somehow loose. Hex is a little bigger and bulkier than thatof Noto or Bernett, but it works here. The GRIT and DIRT of Gotham is almost overpowering, in fact, it overwhelms sunlight to the point that the entire town is encased in smoke and dirt, muting all the colors. There is just enough color to keep this book from being a black and white book, but the palette is very ominous and depressing.

Story: Remember when Jonah ended up in Brazil? How hard it was for him to cope with society? Remember when he went to China? Remember when he went to 2050, well, okay, don't remember THAT! Hex in Gotham is somewhat like that, Jonah Hex not in his natural element, shooting and bunching the living hell outta anything that moves, BUT it's different in that, while he has a 'guide' in Arkham, he is also the scout, leading Arkham through the underbelly of his own town.

There are a lot of things I could compare this to: McCloud; a gun-toting Batman; Victorian version of Firestorm (Arkham = brains, Hex = brawn). But this is a new book and I think it will stand well on it's own two feet. The story has peril, action, depth, and mystery and for about $4, it's well worth the cash.

Can't wait for next month to see where this is headed and the onset of the backup feature.

Jonah Hex V2 #3 "Eye for an Eye"

2011-09-27T21:00:00.001-05:00

Jonah Hex V2 #3 March 2006
"Eye for an Eye"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Luke Ross, art - Phil Noto, cover

Jonah Hex comes across several wagons of settlers that have been slaughtered by Indians and examines the arrows and the footprints.

Cut to a trading post. The owner is begging three men to let him and his sick wife live. The leader of the three men says that he can't allow them to tell a posse that it was them dressed as Indians that killed the wagon train. They herd the man, carrying his wife, outside just as Hex rides up. The leader tells Hex that the post is closed. They threaten Hex and he tells them that they need to save their bullets for the Apache

Jonah tells them that the Indians are about thirty minutes away and two of the gunmen start to panic. The store owner says that the Apache are coming for revenge, to kill these men who have been committing murder dressed as Apache. Jonah pulls his pistol and shoots the three men dead. Hex asks the post owner if he would testify that these men were murderers and the owner replies that he would. He then asks Hex what can they do about the Apache war party? Jonah calmly says that there ain't no Apache war party.

Later that night, during a downpour, Hex and the store owner roll into the town of Kent. The sheriff, who is getting a shave, is called out by a local to see Hex dragging the three corpses behind his horse. The sheriff looks at the dead ringleader and whispers "Nate". The sheriff then pulls a pistol on Hex but the store owner starts to tell the story of what happened. The sheriff arrests Hex but the owner says "You don't know these men" to which the sheriff reveals that the ringleader is his kid brother.

Later Hex is in the jail cell asking what became of the store owner. The sheriff explains that he reasoned with the man and his distance and silence would be insured. Hex then asks what is to become of him. The sheriff tells his goons to do their best.

Much later, the two goons are on a raft if the river with a large box on it. They wonder out loud how much longer they and the sheriff can keep up the Indian masquerade. They slip the box into the water, commenting on how Hex wasn't that tough after all. One goon says that he would prefer to hang Hex, the other replies that maybe Hex will wash ashore and someone can have Hex stuffed.

The box, with Hex inside, floats down the river and starts slowly leaking. Jonah struggles with the ropes around his wrists but is helpless as the box floats on and hurls over a waterfall, smashing to bits on the rocks. Hex manages to barely swim to shore and passes out.

A man rides up with a lantern and asks Hex if he tumbles over waterfalls for his own amusement or is there a paying audience hidden in the darkness? The man cuts Hex free and asks his name. Jonah tells him and the man introduces himself as Bartholomew Aloysius Lash, gambler by trade, womanizer by design and outlaw by tragic error (the best introduction ever written...ever! Doubt me and I'll fight you and WIN!). Hex said that he's never heard of Bat Lash and Bat is very happy, considering Hex's trade. Hex asks what Lash's business is and Bat confides that he is heading into Kent. Seems that earlier in the day Bat came across a dying girl that had been raped by by white men posing as Indians looting wagon trains.

Jonah confides that he had a run-in with those men and they ended up dead, however, the brother is still alive and was backing the whole plan. Lash and Hex hatch a plan and head into town.

Later that night, Lash is in a poker game, women draped about him, and he is winning in every meaning of the word. One player accuses Lash of cheating and all hell breaks loose.

The sheriff shows up and takes Lash and the brawler to jail only to find Jonah Hex sitting in the office, guns drawn. Lash locks up the deputies and the brawler but Hex won't allow the sheriff into the cell. Lash demands that justice be served according to the law but Hex states that this point is where he and Lash will part ways.

Hex escorts the sheriff outside as Bat looks on.

Morning finds Hex on horseback, leading another horse carrying a bound sheriff. They come upon a group of mounted Indians and Jonah has a few words with them. The Indians ride up and jerk the sheriff off his horse. The sheriff starts screaming for Hex to save him but Jonah says that he has no control over free men and that their money is just as good as anyone elses. The Indians scalp the sheriff alive and then finish him off.

Bat Lash rides up in time to see the payoff. He rides off with Jonah in one of the most classic endings in any western ever.

Statistics for This Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 3
Running Total - 508 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 6 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Boxed up and sent over a waterfall.

This is probably one of the most perfect westerns that I have ever read. Jonah is spot on, Lash is wonderfully light without being a lightweight and with this issue Gray and Palmiotti have hit their stride with this book. There are little touches that make this story great: the Indian seen in town that, we learn later, is known by Hex; Lash's sarcastic comments that his opponents don't understand; the evil kid brother who looks like Matt Dillon.

The only downside is this is the beginning of what Chris Sims points out as a over-reliance on rape as a motivator, even though it is only mentioned in passing by Bat Lash. Don't worry, we'll being hearing and seeing a lot more of that plot device in the upcoming years (Rape Count: 1 reference)

Next Issue: The man who won't stop talking, a woman who can't start talking, and the plot device that won't die.

Jonah Hex V2 #2 "Dia De Los Santos Reyes"

2011-09-13T23:06:00.000-05:00

Jonah Hex V2 #2 Feb 2006
"Dia De Los Santos Reyes"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Luke Ross, art - Leonardo Manco, cover

Children are playing with a pinata at a Spanish mission when several men come riding in on horseback and start slaughtering everyone in town. One of the riders kicks in the front door of the church and the priest there knows him. The priest starts reprimanding the man and is quickly shot. The thieves then come in and grab the large cross on the altar.

The priest stumbles down the hallway to a room where his niece Alma is tending to a wounded man on a cot. The priest tells Alma to tend to the wounded in the courtyard. She leaves and the priest talks to Jonah Hex. He begs that Hex will repay the kindness they have shown him by bringing back the sacred cross and then he falls dead.

Hex tells the dead priest to rest easy because tomorrow all the thieves will be dead.

Hex gets dressed, mounts up and heads out of town, but right alongside him is Alma. Jonah says that she isn't going, she says that she is. Alma then explains that the man who killed her uncle is Santiago, an orphan that her uncle took in and raised him along with Alma as brother and sister. Jonah says that he can't afford to have anything slow him down. Alma pulls out a knife, asks Hex if he can see the knot in a sapling about fifty feet away. She hurls the knife while riding and Hex pauses, grunts and then tells her to try to keep up.

They continue riding and come upon the outskirts of Silverton, a mining town. There are two sets of gallows outside of town with a total of eight men hanging from them. They ride into town to witness a man getting gunned down in the street and then ripped apart by a mob that digs the silver bullets out of the corpse. Hex tells her to be quiet about the Santaigo and the cross. One man, Branson Ironside, steps forward and inquires what business Hex and the Alma have in town.

Hex tells Ironside that he has quite a town. Ironside says that after the war he was not happy to reside within the Union. Hex asks about the men hanging outside of town and says that he has been tracking them for six days, but it appears there are a few missing. Ironside states that he will rectify that slight by noon tomorrow. Ironside then invites Hex to stay in town and 'join their ranks'. Jonah politely declines and he and Alma head for the hotel.

Ironside then tasks one of his men, Chester, to tail Hex.

At the hotel, Alma asks if the town knows about the cross and Hex figures that they do. Later that night in the room, Hex postulates that since the town does not have a bank, the cross must be in the jail, locked up with Santiago. Jonah is going to snoop around and pilfer some dynamite from the supply store. He has Alma strip and prance in front of the hotel windows in order to distract anyone tailing him.

Jonah climbs out of the hotel and then breaks into the supply store. He stocks up on dynamite and matches, leaving payment for both on the desk. He makes his way to the jail, verifies his suspicions about the cross and Santiago, and then places several sticks of dynamite around about the town. Finished, he heads back to the hotel room.

He climbs in the window and is greeted by Alma, Ironside, and two gunmen. Ironside has Hex's guns removed and states that he will hang Hex in the morning as a warning to everyone that enters the town. Jonah replies that sooner or later the cowardly greedy bastards in town are going to turn on Ironside and learn that he is a coward. The gunmen knock Hex out.

Later, Hex is escorted into the middle of town. Everyone is gathered around and Ironside is getting a shoeshine in the middle of the street. He hands Hex a pistol with a single bullet in it. Ironside addresses the town, stating that he has gathered them in order to learn that Hex has come to town to steal the silver from their mine. Hex denies it, but Ironside asks who can trust the word of bounty hunter that lives off the plunder of corpses.

Hex draws and fires, shooting past Ironside and rupturing the kerosene streetlight. Ironside, sweating bullets, is amazed that Hex has missed but he takes his time to draw and aim, knowing that Hex is out of bullets. He asks "Who's the coward now?" to which Jonah replies, "See me runnin', Ironside?"

Just then the burning stream of kerosene ignites the dynamite hidden under the boardwalk behind Ironside and things start getting blown to hell. Ironside fires a few shots and miss, but Jonah slugs a gunman, grabs his pistol and nails Ironside right between the eyes. Hex then grabs a flaming board and tosses it across the street, igniting another stick of dynamite and that starts a chain-reaction of building after building exploding. The townsfolk are running in a panic and Hex and Alma head for the jail.

Hes opens the cell with the cross and grabs it, heading out. Santiago pleads to be released or he and the others will die in the jail. Alma says that the Lord will have his justice on Santiago on His own terms. As Alma and Jonah leave the jail, the entire town has mounted up and headed for the mine. Since Ironside is dead, they plan to gut the mine as quickly as possible. Hex loads up the cross onto a wagon and head out of town, along with the entire populace.

Everyone rushes into the mine but there is a sudden cave-in and everyone dies. Alma says "Those poor people." and Jonah, driving the wagon into the rising sun, replies, "Not so poor...they're buried in silver."

Statistics for This Issue

Men killed by Jonah - 1 (Ironside)
Running Total - 505 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 3 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Knocked in the head

An average issue, we pick up with Jonah in the middle of an adventure, not unlike the prior issue. I enjoyed the character of Ironsides, how he knew Hex and thought that he could just offer him a job in order to control him. The ending of the story seemed rushed with the mine collapse, there was nothing to indicate that it could happen and it was just a quick wrap-up to get rid of the towns people and give them what they deserved. I did like the view of Jonah's scarred back, making me wonder if this was a nice reference to the Ship of Doom.

There was also a couple of gripes about the artwork, one page was waaaay to static, almost reminding me of Renato Arlem and his photostats. And there were a few misplaced word balloons on the next to the last page. All in all, the series is like a toddler finding its footing, a mis-step here, a wobble there, but all in all, this book is up and walking.

Next Issue : Hex encounters an "Outlaw by tragic error."

Top Ten Jonah Hex V2 Covers

2011-08-29T23:04:00.002-05:00

Now that Jonah Hex V2 is in the can, I thought it would be fun to visit the covers and pick the ten best. Here are your panel of judges:

Me: Collecting comics since around 1966 and in all honesty I pick up a book because Jonah Hex is IN it, not what is on the cover. My tastes are going to lean more to what is extraordinary for a Western comic or just a comic in general.

Eldest Son: Shoots and edits video for a living so has a sense of composition and balance. Is a comic book reader so has a feel for what makes a good comic book cover.

Carl: Graphic designer. Looks at the books through a critical eye picking out what makes a good design. Also reads comics but hasn't read any Jonah Hex.

Lovely Wife: Is aware of what a comic book IS. What she brings to the table is how a cover will impact someone just strolling through a comic book shop. Does this cover grab a non-reader into making a purchase? Also, Wife & Carl can't be swayed by a good story inside that might make me think a cover is better than it is.

I took everyone's top ten, assigning 1 point to the lowest rank and ten points to the highest rank. I then compiled the totals and we ended up with a few ties. To break the ties I looked at which cover placed higher on Lovely Wife's ranking (because getting a new reader in is the best thing) and then I took into account Carl's ranking (because he's a professional graphic designer and should know good design).

Here then are the top ten covers along with relevant comments:

Tenth Place 9 points: #11 "The Hanging Tree"
Art Thibert
Carl: Dark and Powerful

Ninth Place 10 points: #70 "Weird Western"
Ryan Sook
Me: Very powerful, the sun 'burning' past the girl and the subtle hole in Hex's chest. This book screams that it wants to be opened and read.

Eighth Place 11 Points: #39 "Cowardice"
Rafael Garres
Eldest: The coloring and layout on this one make it stand out. It's far more cinematic than any other cover (with even the credits being "above the line").
Me: The black bar titles that make the interior of this book so unique is brought to the cover. The poses are dynamic and it has a great use of black space.

Seventh Place 11 Points: #62 "The Package"
Eduardo Risso
Tie broken by Lovely Wife: It's just damn weird
Me: The black and white and evoking the tintype style pose is fantastic. On top of that, Hex seems so at peace amongst the circus freaks and that says so much about the character and makes me want to read the book.

Sixth Place 13 points: #53 "You'll Never Dance Again"
Billy Tucci
Lovely Wife: What kind of trouble are these two going to get into? It makes me want to read the book.
Eldest: As Megan Fox-tastic as this cover is, I love the art. Also, it feels like someone just chased this girl downstairs only to promptly realize that he's about get get effed up buy a guy with a look on his face that says, "I dare you."

Fifth Place 13 points: #6 "Goin' Back to Texas in a Box"
Brian Bollard
Tie Broken by Lovely Wife: Somewhat comical
Me: NUNS WITH GUNS!! Actually, this cover has great lines, the razor and Jonah's eye draws you across the page to see the white of the nun's hat. But much more than that, NUNS WITH GUNS!!!

Fourth Place 14 points: #33 "The Hunting Trip"
Darwyn Cooke
Eldest: I love this one because it feels like a baddie glanced over and saw this view, then promptly crapped his pants. Also, if you don't like Darwyn Cooke I'm 87% you're a communist. BETTER DEAD THAN RED!
Me: There are a dearth of winter westerns and this one fills the bill nicely. How deep is that snow? How long has Hex been there?

Third Place 15 points: #25 "My Name is Nobody"
Rafael Garres
Eldest: This one just says "I am a badass and will destroy you" Also, that guy clearly wasn't dead a second before this cover was drawn.
Carl: It has the perspective where the viewer is looking up at Jonah from beneath, very strong.
Me: The curvature of the buildings, the sun behind Hex, all of this makes me think of this entire cover is looking out the barrel of a gun. Plus, the details of the spades on the buttons and looking at the number of notches on the gun of the dead man shows just how good Jonah Hex is at his job (as well as ruthless since he's shooting a man that is already down)

Second Place 18 points: #50 "The Great Silence"
Darwyn Cooke
Lovely Wife: There is such an empty feeling presented through the muted tones. I want to know who is buried and why is there such emotion evident in Hex's body language.
Me: A very very quiet cover for a very violent book. Knowing the character, this cover demanded that I buy it and read it first.

First Place 25 points: #9 "Gettin' Un-Haunted"
Tony DeZuniga
Lovely Wife: The contrast between the black and white and the red is great. The movement draws your eye across the cover. This cover is full of 'whys', why is the little girl with him, why is he using a sword, why is he killing those men.
Carl: I like issue 9 the best because for starters is 2 color and stands out, the illustration tells allot and shows movement, action and emotion.
Eldest: Black and white covers with color splash can be done extremely well or just look silly. This is the former. The near perfect blood trail line draws your eye through the picture and even serves to direct you back to the DC logo and title.

Other covers that were chosen? From highest to lowest: 35, 18, 13, 36, 26, 5, 28, 66, 8, 42, 41, 20, 16, 10, and 2

Thanks to Grand Comic Book Database for the cover links and thanks to me for figuring out that hot-linking is a bad thing. DUR!!!

The Many Phases of Jonah Hex - The Displaced Hex

2011-08-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

The sales on Jonah Hex was dropping and in an attempt to save the character, Michael Fleisher ventured into a realm that he himself has confessed that he was uncomfortable with, science fiction.

Jonah was thrown into the world on 2052, years after a worldwide nuclear holocaust, and even though he passed out from information overload in the first issue, Jonah did what he did best. He adapted.

Though the world was new, the carnage and destruction were still pretty much the same. Guns still had triggers, people would still bleed and things would still explode. Some will say that he adapted waaaay to fast, even managing to ride a futuristic motorcycle in the first issue. Jonah showed an incredibly quick knowledge of mechanics that included driving cars, melting robots, taking on an automated shooting gallery, and even using rocket exhaust to destroy a few aliens. But, this is a comic book, we only have about 20 pages to deliver the danger as well as the escape for the hero, and Hex was forced to be a quick learner.

Overall, the book was still pretty much a Western at heart. The evil railroad men became the evil corporations, gold became Soames, the roving Indians and bandits became roving biker gangs and... bandits, the stagecoach became a hovercraft, the pistol was still a pistol (something that tickled me whenever Hex would resort to an old fashioned bullet), and Batman became, sort of a Batman. It goes to show that the basis of a story is, and always will be, about a hero and a villain and what ultimately happened between the two.

As a series, I was hot and cold on the book. It was Jonah Hex and I would be buying it, pretty much no matter what. The beginning art by Texeria was smooth, clean and very cinematic. Very much like the work of Ross on Jonah Hex V2 or the Lopez work on the original run. The stories had a proper amount of melodrama that kept the same pacing as the end of the Jonah Hex run and Fleisher did a good job at introducing new concepts even though the Earth of the future didn't hold together very well when examined with any sort of close eye (New York is still standing while Seattle is a nuclear wasteland?).

I think the whole series started slipping around issue 11, with the future Batman and then we got the Dogs of War and finally the 'artwork' of Keith Giffen but it was able to redeem itself with the very last page of the very last book in one of the all-time moments in comics (and I'm including all of DC, Marvel, as well as everything that Don Rosa ever produced).

It would be a long time before we got another taste of the scar-faced bounty hunter that we could all sit back and savor. Hex, uneven as it was, was still Jonah Hex and for some folks a mediocre Hex series is better than no Hex series at all.

Jonah Hex V2 #1 - "Giving the Devil His Due"

2011-08-17T09:17:00.001-05:00

Jonah Hex V2 #1 Jan 2006
"Giving the Devil His Due"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Luke Ross, art - Frank Quitely, cover

It was November in 2005 when this hit the stands. I had heard it was coming out. I didn't even DARE hope that it would be even half good. I slammed down my $2.99, walked next door to Subway, ordered a 6-inch Tuna (toasted, extra pickles and jalapenos), sat down and started reading. I didn't start eating until I had read through it twice.

DC Comics had developed the policy that they would no longer use caption boxes (Meanwhile; Back at the JLA Cave; Elsewhere) and started having their books narrated by the characters themselves, each caption color coded (making some impossible to read) or having an insignia so you could tell Black Canary from Batman. This book has captions, but WHO is speaking? It's not the dull, dry omniscient narrator, this is more akin to writings of the period. It's almost like listening to Ken Burn's The Civil War. Behold:

Twilight faded to starlight when the desert finally fell silent. Jonah Hex, whose violent hands shed the blood of the nefarious and whose ears still rang with the horrid yells and dying groans, cautiously eyed the last man standing.

In full light of the moon, James Ronnie's face showed all the contortions of a coward who has lost the resolve to continue masking his fear. And yet, he still clung to hope... like a drowning man with a fistful of straw. The irony stood marked by the fact that it was James Ronnie's guns that aligned with Hex on the side of justice earlier that night.

But as any man, woman, or child knows, he had no friends, this Jonah Hex...but he did have two companions...one was death itself...the other, the acrid smell of gunsmoke.

Dear Lord in heaven! Now that is actual writing. That tells an entire story in one page and wants you know even more. Folks, THAT is a page-turner! So, let us gather up our bundles, hunker down together, and I shall relate the tale as best I know how.

Amidst the above prose, (and interrupted by a title card "A Cemetery Without Crosses") we see a man standing in the darkness, currency falls from the sky all about him and the camera pulls up and we see him facing off against Jonah Hex. Surrounding them both, dead men and horses (nearly two dozen of the former, half a dozen of the latter) and four large flour totes of bills, buffeted about by the climbing winds.

Ronnie shouts to Hex that they don't have to do this thing, nobody will ever know. Hex (dear Lord, is that CLINT EASTWOOD!?!?!), snarls back that HE will know. Ronnie tries to reason, saying that at least he didn't kill the Apache squaw. Hex replies that death would have been a mercy. Ronnie, still grasping for some hope, stammers that they have been riding together for three weeks, they just took out the Tompkins gang, all of that should count for something. Hex tells him that it entitles him to a fair fight, more than Ronnie would get from the Apache.

Ronnie lunges forward for a pistol on the ground, Hex, his holster empty, reaches behind his back for a tomahawk which gets planted squarely between the eyes of the late James Ronnie (T-Chunk).

Two weeks later, we find Jonah riding onto a plantation and is 'greeted' by three women with firearms. Hex explains that he is there to see Joshua Foster about a missing boy. The women take Jonah in to see their father who is crippled and confined to a wheelchair. Foster explains that several weeks ago his ten year old son Jacob was kidnapped but there has been no ransom note and the local sheriff and the Pinkerton's have been unable to turn up anything at all. Foster offers three thousand dollars for the return of the boy. Hex takes the offer.

An unknown time later we are witness to a small carnival that is showcasing young boys armed with knife-gloves fighting enraged pitbulls. We learn the carnival is the property of Victor Romanoff and that tomorrow night is their final appearance in town. In the audience is our very own Jonah Hex. The show ends and the townsfolk head home.

Back in a tent, Romanoff berates the young fighter we just witnessed. He tells the kid that the fight should have gone longer. The youngster, a Hispanic, suggests that Romanoff fight them himself. Romanoff slaps the boy to the ground and is drawing back to strike him again when Jonah Hex steps into the tent and punches Romanoff to the ground. A man in the corner of the tent starts to draw a pistol when the carnival doctor intervenes, explaining who Hex is.

Romanoff immediately apologizes for his conduct and Jonah explains his business. None of the boys speak up when Jonah quizzes them and Jonah asks the doctor what is wrong with on a cot. The doc states that he has a fever. Hex, with no answers to his questions, leaves, but not without the gunhand suggesting to Romanoff that Hex run into some trouble of the fatal variety.

That night, two men with knives sneak up on a sleeping form near a dying campfire. They plunge knives into a straw dummy. Hex steps from the shadows and demands answers about the missing boy. One of the men pleads ignorance and Hex shoots the man's ear off.

Back at the carnival, the boy on the cot is frothing at the mouth and the doc and Romanoff are at odds. The doc says that he has looked the other way long enough and RomanoffRomanoff. Hex drags the carnival owner by the hair over to the cot and demands to know who it is. Romanoff confesses that it is Jacob and that they dyed his hair to hide his identity. Jonah then proceeds to kick the living tar out of the portly carnival man.

Hex looks at the doc, states that he knows Jacob is rabid and asks how long the boy has. The doc says that he'll live a day at the most. Hex tells the doc to wait outside the tent. Jonah walks over to the cot, a pillow in his hand and, almost under his breath, says, "It seems God wanted ya to suffer through your last hours in this world, Jacob."

He then places the pillow over the boys face until he is dead, and then gently closes the boys eyes, saying that he will tell Jacob's pa that he died like a man.

We next see a naked Romanoff bound at the wrists and in the dog fight pit. Jonah stands above him holding a bucket of blood and guts. He throws it onto the fat naked man and says that the regular law can't do anything about the death of Jacob but this bucket of pig's blood will save Romanoff from being hanged by Hex. Jonah then pulls up two snarling German Shepherds and unleashes them on screaming man.

The doc walks up and states that he has Jacob ready for the trip home. Hex says that the doc better be finding some nice homes for the boys that are left, or else and then explains that when the dog fights come around, the locals will normally beat and starve their own dogs so they have a chance in the ring. Hex says that these dogs would have killed the boys and as he sees it, what he had just done was fair.

We next see Jonah arriving at the Foster house with a coffin in a wagon. Jonah apologizes to Foster and the daughters want to know how their brother died. Jonah states that he died fighting and they should be proud of him. Foster reaches for his wallet, but Hex mounts up and rides off. The story ends:

Until that day, Jonah Hex never questioned his feud with the Lord, but there is a certain crisis of the mind induced by the killing of an innocent child. It is what crystallizes the character. It will betray your hidden weaknesses, cut and polish your virtues, and reveal you in all your glory or your vileness.

It had always seems his talent for killing was in direct opposition to the Lord's work. But now?

Now he wasn't so sure.

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Hex - 2 (we have no idea how many killed prior to the start of the prologue)
Running Total - 504 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 2 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - none
Timeline - I'm not even going here with this. These are 'done in one' for the most part. I may make a comment from time to time about how it fits within the Hex timeline, but I'm not keeping track on JH V2.

Wow. Just wow. To start with, the artwork of Luke Ross is cinematic, from the smoothness of his lines to his camera angles and even into the details of the characters so that you know who he is copying them from (Clint Eastwood is Jonah Hex) but it is so well done, you don't care. With Luke Ross on the art, I felt I was watching the Jonah Hex film that never got made. Also, through Ross's run on this book, you can pick out the folks that he used as reference (Michael Keaton for the Carnival thug, for example)

Now, the story. Of course the story was a retread from Jonah Hex #1 and at first I was angry that I got a rehash of a story. However, over the years, I have come to appreciate what Jimmy and Justin did here. They gave a us a new #1 for Jonah Hex. They retold that first story in the manner that Jonah would be treated under their pens. This Jonah is bloodier, more conflicted, and more well written than anything that had come before. On a re-read, it's interesting that the fighting tent made it, somewhat, into the Jonah Hex film.

This book BECAME the western genre for me in the 2000's, it was the yardstick by which I measured every other western seen or read. I'll be addressing the inner conflicts of Jonah later on in a separate essay, but needless to say, this was a bang-up job for a reintroduction for Jonah Hex.

Next: A gold cross, a town full of dynamite, and then things go downhill from there.

The Second Atlantis

2011-08-14T22:52:00.000-05:00

When I'm cruising through the thrift stores grabbing old boardgames, vintage coffee pots, commercial grade vacuum cleaners and such, I also scope out the paperback books. I get these mostly for the old vintage covers and lo and behold I stumble across this beauty from 1965, illustrated by none other than...

Gray Morrow! Now while I disliked Gray's work on Jonah Hex because it seemed so stiff and the use of zipatone made everything murky, here I really think he has created a great cover.

From the back cover:

Who would build a great civilization upon a huge crack in the world's surface? The Californians did ... setting up famous cities and myriad homes upon the line of the San Andreas fault ... the Earthquake Zone of North America!
Someday, inevitably, this area must open up, must create another Atlantis, as the seas sweep in to swallow another mighty land.
This is the story of how that might happen - the story of THE SECOND ATLANTIS. It is a novel of tomorrow, a prevision of what might come. It is a prophetic novel with an unforgettable impact.

What a lovely little surprise this was. Coming soon... Jonah Hex V2 #1

Westward, Ho!

2011-08-07T09:42:00.000-05:00

Ya, know what? I just can't do it. I just can't finish the Veritigo stuff right now. I need some happy happy in my life and next week I will be posting from Jonah Hex V2. I'm busy with cutting down two 40-ft elms in my backyard, I'm tired of weeks and weeks of 105+ heat (not just 100+, 105+, folks), and I am in no way, shape, nor form, able to read any more Vertigo.

Onward

Cars 2, Audience 1

2011-06-29T00:14:00.000-05:00

I went to see Cars 2 over the weekend and if you can't tell from the title of this post, I wasn't too thrilled. I start throwing spoilers around right after this shot of a model of the landscape from outside Radiator Springs:

Cars didn't make as much money as other Pixar films but it raked it in with merchandise. With the upcoming release of Cars 2, I started seeing ads for State Farm, oil changes and a HUGE glut of toys at Target. This didn't bode well.

Cars was all about slowing down, looking outside yourself, learning about other folks, and an awful lot about Route 66. It was the reason my wife & I traveled the road for our 25th anniversary and we learned, once again, how much we love each other. Cars holds a special place in our lives, much more than the other Pixar films, except maybe for Up!

Cars 2 is about... well, it's about Mater. Now that isn't all bad, but I don't know that I laughed at something that was genuinely funny in the film. There is a spy opener for the film and we see a car fall off an ocean drilling rig, hit the water and burst into pieces. A car actually dies on film! Well, it gets darker from there. We are then allowed to watch an execution of a car that is forced to burst into flame. This is all a little heavy handed from Pixar (even though there was a shotgun toting granny in that Rat movie).

There is a global Grand Prix and Mater gets mistaken for a secret agent, but the English agents are so dense that when Mater tells them he isn't a spy, they think he's still in character, even though he's bumbling around like some kind of automotive Jar Jar Binks. Mater eats a bunch of wasabi, Mater leaks oil at a bad time, Mater encounters a Japanese bidet all in the interest of Pixar trying to out-gross Dreamworks in the potty humor department.

Later on, Mater gets a bomb bolted to his air filter and then we learn that the bad guy is the car that developed an new alternative fuel, but has also discovered the largest oil reserves in the world and in order for folks to not use his alt fuel, he sabotages the racers using it so everyone will go back to using oil that he has found. So the Green-tech guy is really Big Oil and we all know that is evil, right? Did you understand any of that? I'm sure the kids in the audience did.

A lot of folks are griping about the Big Oil reference but I'm more angered with the toilet scene and the actual line where Mater sings "Like a good neighbor..Mater is there." Really, Pixar? REALLY!?!?!?

The problem with this film is that there is nothing from the first film that made us care about it. There is no relationship between Lightning and Sally, Doc Hudson is dead, Mater is still Mater but he is way overexposed, we see little to nothing of Radiator Springs. This film is empty and hollow, with no soul. There is nothing here to inspire anyone to have an adventure (Up!), love their children more (The Incredibles, Finding Nemo), learn to accept others (Toy Story1, 2, 3), be true to yourself and follow a dream (Ratatouille), or even get off your backside and exercise (Wall-E).

Roger Ebert gave this 3.5 stars but in his review he talked more about his childhood of playing with toy cars than the actual movie. I'm glad he got some mileage from the film, because I'm sure that hardly anyone else will. I have to admit, this is the big stinker from Pixar and this one clocks in at 1/2 star out of three for me. I liked Jonah Hex better than this failed attempt to print money.

Comics and Movies, kinda sorta

2011-06-16T20:48:00.000-05:00

Things that are comics related: I took a bunch of D and D books that I got for free from Craigslist to my local comic book shop/2nd hand book store to see how much credit I could get. Turns out I got plenty (don't worry about me getting 'taken'. I had done a lot of research and there was no market for them on ebay or rpggeek.com. Besides store credit is always more than cash on the barrel-head). So, with store credit in hand I splurged and grabbed another volume of Dark Horse's reprints of Little Lulu. I also managed to pick up the Showcase of Bat Lash. I can't wait to review those stories for ya'll.

One last thing. Every year our church does a series called At the Movies (this being the tenth year) where the pastor shows clips of recent films and then discusses a Biblical principle based on the clip. To celebrate the tenth year, our AV department decided to shoot promo teasers for the series and I got to be in the first one.

Yup, that's me, the handsome handsome devil...with the ax. Have I said how much I enjoy being the most famous escaped mental patient with an ax in our church? I also work in Children's Church as well, he he he he

52 ! Pick them up!

2011-06-16T07:55:00.000-05:00

Other folks have been conjecturing what their 52 1st issues would have been if THEY had owned DC. Well, if DC stood for Dwayne Comics, here is how you guys would be spending all your cash in the coming months:

52. The Adventures of Brian Regan
51. Ultra, The Multi-Alien
50. Challengers of the Status Quo
49. The Legion of Substitute Super-Pets
48. Warlord
47. 'Mazing Man
46. Showcase
45. Jug & Demons (a retro 90's book by Leifield)
44. Chemo
43. George Perez Draws Whatever He Wants
42. Love, Twue Love Comics
41. Sugar & Spike
40. Phantom Stranger
39. Amanda Waller's Can of Whoop-Ass
38. Backup Comics (featuring El Diablo, Tommy Tomorrow, Ace the Bat Hound, every old backup feature)
37. JLA Regender (because you know everyone wants it)
36. Jimmy Olsen's Tag Team (an Olsen based B&B)
35. Roy Raymond, Internet Detective
34. Mr. Miracle
33. Gotham City Planning Commission
32. Weird War Tales
31. The Creeper
30. Firestorm
29. Lobo, starring Ambush Bug
28. House of Secret Mysteries
27. Batman Family
26. Suicide Squad
25. Our Army @ War
24. Secret Six
23. Blackhawk (the original)
22. Metal Men
21. Birds of Prey
20. Mr. District Attorney
19. Justice League, OKC
18. Lois Lane, Tot Reporter (Her adventures as a child)
17. Shazam Family
16. Green Lantern Butts Forever!
15. Apes!
14. Scalphunter
13. Swamp Thing
12. JLA, Rubber (Elongated Man, Plastic Man, ELastic Lad, Madame Rouge, Rita Farr, Bouncing Boy)
11. Flash (I don't care who it is, I won't read it)
10. Metamorpho
9. GangBusters!
8. Sherlock Holmes, Time Wizard
7. Batman
6. Wonder Woman
5. JLA, Furry (With Fox & Crow, Stanley & his Monster, and other funny-book heros. Wait, did I just invent Captain Carrot?)
4. Detective Comics (The last panel ends with "The killer is obviously...." and the reveal is next issue)
3. Superman
2. All-Star Western (really Jonah Hex all by himself)
1. Action & Equal but Opposite Reaction Comics

The New DC, There's No Understanding Us Now!

2011-06-09T23:43:00.000-05:00

I was kinda"meh" about the whole DC relaunch but mostly I was wondering how it would impact Jonah Hex. Today, thanks to a timely tweet from Justin Gray, I looked at the DC blog and saw their plans. I figured I would comment on that and all the other books they have announced so far. First up:

All-Star Western #1

Even when Gotham City was just a one-horse town, crime was rampant – and things only get worse when bounty hunter Jonah Hex comes to town. Can Amadeus Arkham, a pioneer in criminal psychology, enlist Hex’s special brand of justice to help the Gotham Police Department track down a vicious serial killer? Featuring back-up stories starring DC’s other western heroes, ALL-STAR WESTERN #1 will be written by the fan-favorite Jonah Hex team of Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti and illustrated by Moritat.

It's been a Loooooong time since Gotham was a one-horse town (like maybe the early 1700's?), so the hyperbole is starting early. Hex in Gotham? Heck, I usually despise Hex being in the DC Universe AT ALL. That's because he is normally thrown in because somebody somewhere needs a 'cowboy' and we end up with crap like The Kents, Swamp Thing, Generations, and The Return of Bruce Wayne. Hex has been more accurately portrayed in Justice League Unlimited (a kids book!)! But Jonah Hex is a fixture in the DCU and I would rather he be handled by the guys that love him than by the guy who THINK they can write a story about him.

Now some folks over the DC Forums have been griping about Jonah heading east and this book is supposed to be a Western. They should calm the crap down. A Western isn't about a locale, it's about a time (the 1860-1904, normally) but more importantly it's an attitude. The Jonah Hex film (PUT DOWN THOSE BRICKS!! I'll talk about it if I want to!!) took place almost entirely east of the Mississippi river and, while most of the movie sucked, it looked like a Western and behaved like a Western.

Now this sounds like a promising start. I enjoy the idea of Hex in the big city, J&J even took him there in the current book and Scalphunter wandered all over the Eastern seaboard in WWT. Hooking up with Arkham will give it a weird vibe that a lot of folks enjoy and I hope that it will bring new readers to the book. But let's consider the cover for a moment, what does the green stain coming from the W signify? And, of course, we can't miss all of those bats. Is Gotham on fire behind the sign or are those flames from various industries. The cover is cool enough for me to pick up just to see what is going on.

All-Star Western...sigh, we'll never live to see Jonah Hex #100 even though it was less than three years away. Part of me likes the nod to Jonah's roots, part of me thinks they chucked the Jonah Hex title thanks to JIMMY HAYWARD AND THAT $50,000,000 PIECE OF CRAP FROM LAST YEAR!!! (but I'm really not bitter, I just have these moments.) I will be picking it up because, well, if I didn't what would I start blogging about? The buttocks of some intergalactic police department? As IF! (seriously, I will continue to buy this book while J&J are on it. They could call it Adventures of a Dude and I'd have it on my pull list)

Sgt. Rock and the Men of War #1

Not sure I can get excited about this one since the Vertigo train wreck that was the Haunted Tank. I like the combo of the Men of War and Sgt. Rock titles and I love the fact that DC is expanding back into the two genres that they kept alive longer than anyone else (War & Western). I just hope beyond hope that they do include a story or two that would fall into the old Weird War book. Not sure I would buy this ongoing, but I might take a peek.

Blackhawks #1

They sure as hell better have someone named Hendrickson. That's all I'm saying.

Deathstroke #1

Looks like the folks that enjoy Conan & Warhammer 40k have a book to read now.

Omac #1

As much as I despise the art of Keith Giffen (have you learned to draw since your days on Hex?) as well as his writing (How many issues of Doom Patrol did I miss? None?! Then why is this more confusing than Lost rewritten by a three year old with ADD?) I think that he nails the Kirby look perfectly on this cover. Maybe this is the book he was born to draw. As for the writer? He has a lot to prove.

Hawk and Dove #1

HEY! Someone learned how to draw feet!!!

Jonah Hex: Two-Gun Mojo #4 "Vendetta Times Two"

2011-06-07T13:24:00.001-05:00

Jonah Hex: Two-Gun Mojo #4 Nov 1993
"Vendetta Times Two"
Joe E. Lansdale, story - Tim Truman and Sam Glanzman, art and cover

Night- 30 Miles West of Nacogdoches Texas. Doc Williams slices noses and ears from the corpses he has, mixes various liquids into a bowl, dumps in several powders, and then, while invoking the Dark Elder Gods, he urinates into the mixture. Then he spits into the bowl, strikes a match and touches it to the bowl, resulting in an explosion powerful enough to knock Williams off his feet.

The pumpkin-headed midget gathers up the brew and they take it over to the barrel containing Jonah Hex. Williams takes a hose hooked to a funnel and shoves it into Jonah's mouth while expounding on how he learned the recipe to zombie-juice in Haiti (or maybe Texas?!?). The mixture is dumped into the funnel and it slides its way into Jonah's gullet. The bowl empty, Williams has the barrel resealed and we learn that Hex has been playing possum. Hex quickly shoves a finger down his throat so he can vomit up as much of the horrible bile as he can.

The barrel containing Jonah is strapped to the wagon and Williams tells Hex that he will be a mindless automaton by tomorrow night. During the night the wagon continues on its travels, Jonah sliding in and out of consciousness.

Next morning, Williams opens the barrel to see how Jonah is doing, but Jonah isn't entirely 'pickled' yet. Williams starts to gloat and asks Jonah if he knows who shot Slow Go, WILD BILL HICKOK!! That's who!! Williams relates how he traveled to Deadwood, South Dakota in 1876. He had just come from Haiti and had not yet purchased his wagon in New Orleans. He was wanting to study how Indians conjured up storms and he runs into Hickok in a saloon.

Hickok, however, isn't impressed with Williams and literally boots the "Doc" out the door and into the mud. It was then that Williams swore vengeance, however, it was Jack McCall that stole that delight from Williams. But the Doctor was not easily deterred and that night dug up the body of Hickok and discovered that even though he was shot in the head, the cowboy was still alive.

That night Williams, using a book that he got from a preacher in Waco, concocts a brew and shoves it down the gullet of Hickok, turning Hickok into a mindless, obedient zombie. Time passes and Williams buys the wagon and recruits, through bribery, assault, or kidnapping, the
rest of his motley band. The 'good' Doctor then takes his sideshow on the road and learns
that Zombie Hickok never misses a shot, is very strong and agile, but, sadly, very very
RIPE!

The Doc stops his rambling and the wagon to relieve himself in the woods and while the troupe is setting up camp, Jonah takes advantage to kick a hole in the side of the barrel. However, he didn't realize the wagon was parked on the edge of a very steep hill and...

Of course, the river does help cover Jonah's tracks and provides him with a means of transportation (as well as a meal in the form of raw rattlesnake). Jonah ends up clinging to a log and washing up on shore some unknown distance and time later. He is found by a farmer and his son. They pick up the soaked and tired Hex and ask him about his scar...

Jonah stays with them a few days, regaining his strength. He is loaned a horse, pistols and some cash and told that his face is on some wanted posters. Jonah rides off and ends up in Lubbock where he finds several fliers for the Wagon of Miracles. He also finds a cowboy wanting to make some quick cash by bringing him in. That ends in the way that we have come to expect. However, Hex is not catching up to the Miracle Wagon and tracks them across Texas and into New Mexico.

Out in the desert he comes upon some Apaches who are torturing a black Union soldier. Jonah takes careful aim and shoots the soldier in the head, ending his misery, but inflaming the anger of the Indians who take out after him. Jonah ends up killing a few, but they eventually shoot his horse out from under him. Jonah holes up and gets surrounded but one mounted Indian gets too brave and Jonah takes advantage of it....

Jonah is once again making a run for it and turns the wrong way into a canyon, again getting a horse killed. He slides face first down a hillside and ends up...

Jonah, Williams and the freaks, and a Union Calvary are in a hole in the desert, surrounded by angry Apaches.

Statistics for This Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 6
Running Total - 502 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo)
Jonah's Injuries - 'Pickled' and falls off cliff
Timeline - Unknown how long this issue takes, but I'll toss out a couple of weeks, just for grins.

This issue is almost like two books. The first is the dark rantings of Doc Williams (which I don't really enjoy) and once Jonah escapes we're back to the tracking and rough/tumble/shooting ways of Hex the bounty hunter. Needless to say, I enjoyed the second half of the book more. I'm actually looking forward to...

Next Issue: The final stand-off and the Disgust-O-Meter pegs out at 11!!

because we get a LOT of shooting and an end to this mess...... for now.

I dreamed a wonderfully witty title but forgot it when I woke up.

2011-05-21T09:16:00.000-05:00

Sleestak, bless his little lizard heart, sent me a query in an attempt to determine if I had been Raptured early.

Well, no. I've just been so insanely busy that some things just fall by the wayside. How busy?

Spent two weeks in Salt Lake City for business
Took a mini vacation/anniversary trip with my Lovely Wife
Help my mom with a huge garage sale (out of state, of course)
Starting taking photography classes
Installed some new fence
Started working more seriously on my design for a board game
Ramped up my eBay sales "hobby" as well as started mowing some extra lawns for reasons other than income.

Anyway, I ended up with a lot of anti-momentum regarding Matching Dragoons and comics in general. I know, what's wrong with me, huh?

So, what's up with me regarding comics?

I dropped Booster Gold from my pull list. While I absolutely love time travel stories and the such, I hate the idea of paying for a book for two months that will be a major part of a crossover that I won't be reading (I'm looking at YOU Flashpoint!)
I added Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors to my pull list for the exact same reason (Wanting to keep up on War of the Green Lanterns)
Was completely confused by the latest issue of Birds of Prey. I'm convinced that some of the pages in my copy are out of order. That or Gail has started writing the book like a Momento film festival.
Seriously dreading getting back into the Vertigo Hex, but I WILL do it. For you guys, if not for anything else.

So, while I am currently blogging about blogging, a sin, I know, I am at least sitting at the keyboard and posting to the blog. I figure you guys will forgive me for the absence, you forgave The Absorbascon, right?

House Ads #36

2011-03-28T06:00:00.000-05:00

Batman front and center on a JLA cover? Must be the 1960's!! (or 2010's)

House Ads #35

2011-03-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

CRUNCH!! YIP!!! BLAM!!!! What else can you want from an 80 page giant?

We Interrupt This Blog.... #23

2011-03-15T06:00:00.000-05:00

... to let you know if you mock literacy, bones will be broken!!

Remember kids, read and THEN put the moves on the redhead.

House Ads #34

2011-03-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

At times I think that the writers were actually smoking half of the elements that appeared in this book.

Pitchman-A-Go-Go #88

2011-03-11T06:00:00.000-06:00

Curt Swan helps pitch motorized boats. One hitch, you can't control them remotely, so if you put it in a river. you may never get it back.

House Ads #33

2011-03-10T06:00:00.001-06:00

I would have loved this book. Looks like art by Sekowsky and appears to be in the same goofy vein as the Jerry Lewis and Bob Hope books.

Jonah Hex: Two-Gun Mojo #3 "The Resurrectionist"

2011-03-09T06:00:00.000-06:00

Jonah Hex: Two-Gun Mojo #3 Oct 1993
"The Resurrectionist"
Joe E. Lansdale, story - Tim Truman and Sam Glanzman, art and cover

The posse is hot on Jonah's trail and the Indian girl riding behind him isn't faring so well from being shot. Jonah jumps from the horse up into some nearby trees and takes cover. waiting for the posse to ride past. He drops out of the tree behind the last rider, blows his head off with a rifle, lands on the horse and unloads his pistol into the old lady and another rider. A fourth wheels his horse around and fires at Jonah several times. Jonah returns fire twice, literally shooting out the man's eyes. Just for good measure, Jonah tramples him with the horse.

Jonah finally catches up with his horse and the girl, only to find her in a meadow, dead. Jonah, in a telling tone for this entire series (and possibly his life), notes...

Night falls and the rest of the posse, finding the slaughtered townsfolk, call off their search and head back to town. Jonah then builds a burial stand for the Indian girl and heads back to town to see what he can learn in the dark. What he does learn is that the town has taken care of Slow Go by tossing him onto a garbage pile.

Jonah pulls Slow out of the trash, lifts him onto the back of his horse, ties him down and leaves town, but not before setting fire to the gallows.

The next morning, Jonah and Slow pass by a walking reverend, who is startled by the dead body of Slow. Jonah takes time to stop and throw a tarp over the corpse and rides on to the next town. Darkness starts to fall as Jonah enters the town, he hides Slow and decides to ask around in the saloon. However, Jonah runs into a smart-mouth former Union veteran who gets some quick dental work via Jonah's fist. Hex asks the barkeep about who does burying in the town. The barkeep points him to the blacksmith and asks what happened to Jonah's face. Hex's reply?

Jonah meets the blacksmith, explains that Slow Go is hidden by the General Store and that he wants him buried and a marker put over him. Jonah gives payment and tells the smith that if Hex learns Slow Go isn't done proper, the next coffin in town will contain the smithy.

Jonah walks down the street and overhears a loud carnival-like spiel coming from a haphazard stage in the middle of the street. It's Doc "Cross" Williams himself and his traveling freak show. Williams is touting his "Sweet Brown Tonic". Jonah sticks to the shadows and decides against just blowing all their brains out. He wants to know why they stole bodies back at the other town.

During the show, the fat lady, Ramona, drinks the tonic and does one-hand stands and flips through a burning hoop of fire. The tall man, String Bean Jones drinks some and deadlifts all 500 pounds of Ramona right over his head. Half-Pint, the midget with a pumpkin on his head juggles for the amazement of the crowd, who buys the tonic like there is no tomorrow.

Later that night, Williams' traveling troupe leaves town and Jonah follows behind. They make camp and after eating they drag out a large barrel. Williams pops off the lid, reaches inside and pulls out the zombie cowboy that shot Jonah a few days ago. Williams takes a large syringe and squirts a huge amount of a putrid liquid into the sewn up mouth of the cowboy. The cowboy sits up, draws his pistols and stands guard while the rest of the sideshow bed down for the night.

Along about midnight, Jonah sneaks his way into camp, narrowly evading the zombie cowboy. He makes his way into the wagon where he finds...

He shoves his pistol under Williams nose and demands to know the name of the weird cowboy standing guard. Williams smiles evilly and tells Hex that is none other than Wild Bill Hickok, RESURRECTED!!!

Jonah hears a noise behind him, turns to see Hickok holding both pistols on him. Quick as lightning Willliams breaks a bottle across Hex's head, knocking him out. The freak show quickly grabs Hex and stuffs HIM into a barrel and nails the lid shut as Williams announces..

Statistics for this Issue

Men killed by Jonah - 4
Running Total - 496 (432 past, 55 future, 9 Vertigo)
Jonah's injuries - Knocked out with a bottle and stuffed into a pickle barrel.
Timeline - This one covers two more days, so we are now in day 5 of Vertigo.

This issue is where the weird justs hits the ground running. Zombies I can handle, but the scene with the dead naked bodies strung up in Williams' wagon was a little too much for me. But then I have to remember that Lansdale was writing horror before he was writing westerns. I think it is an escalation of the crudity, violence, ugliness and horror that is starting to repel me. We have Jonah shooting a mans eyes out, literally (something that gets repeated in the the current Jonah Hex #64 "Lovesick"); followed by a dead man strapped to a horse; a mocking portrayal of a traveling preacher; and the hanging fetal-corpses. It was all too much, kinda like a horseradish-wasabi sandwich followed by a serrano shooter.

Next Issue: Jonah gets pickled, Williams gets away, and Bad Luck gets even, in a big big way!

Jonah Hex: Two-Gun Mojo #2 "Invitation to a Hanging"

2011-02-28T06:00:00.002-06:00

Jonah Hex: Two-Gun Mojo #2 Sept 1993
"Invitation to a Hanging"
Joe R Lansdale, story - Tim Truman and Sam Glanzman, art and cover

Slow Go Smith is sitting up in the stable, the gun-toting corpse slowly advancing, having already shot Smith once. Then a weird robed figure peeks from behind the corpse and says "Pee Pie!" in a sing-song voice. Jonah Hex is running down the darkened street when Smith realizes he is out of bullets and throws his pistol and nails the robed figure in the head.

Bloodied, the figure turns back to the darkness of the stable and shouts "Take him, Bill" and another corpse stumbles out of the shadows. Smith pulls a knife, determined to fight to the death. He throws the knife and Bill draws his pistols and catches the knife in mid-air between them. Suddenly Bill unloads both pistols into Smith.

Hex kicks in the door to the stable, sees a shadow with a pistol and plants several shots right into one of the bodies that was being used for photographs earlier in the day. Bill turns and shoots Hex, grazing his skull. The robed figure shouts for Half-Pint and Stretch and the rest to load up the stuffed boys but leave Smith and Hex because they're too fresh. A skinny giant, about 9 feet tall, a midget with a pumpkin for a head and a fat woman eating a turkey leg come into the barn, load up the bodies and then we see the Wagon of Miracles take off into the night (making the robed figure, Doc "Cross" Williams).

Hex comes to and walks over to the dying Smith. They have an exchange where Smith asks Hex to kill the bastards that killed him. Hex says that he has a personal vendetta against them because he accidentally shot a corpse. Smith dies and Hex notes that he hates a fella that takes his time dying.

Of course, just then the Sheriff and the whole town show up, armed to the teeth. Hex tells them about the bodies being stole by the weird bunch but the Sheriff tells Hex to drop his guns and they'll talk about weird crap later. Hex decides he can't outgun the whole town and drops his gun and gets carted off to jail.

Hex, in jail, is telling the Sheriff that no matter how you slice it, the Sheriff's idea that Hex stole the bodies and killed Slow Go doesn't make any sense. In the end, Hex asks the Sheriff if he will be the one to collect the reward that was supposed to go to Slow Go. The Sheriff says that since HE is the one with the severed heads, He will be the one to get the money. Just then a townsfolk comes in and says that the Judge can't make it back tomorrow from Nacogdoches but he sent a note...

The town starts work on the hanging scaffold first thing in the morning with Jonah Hex sitting, biding his time in the cell. The Sheriff shows up with the undertaker to take measurements for the coffin. Outside the town is in full swing, selling all kinds of food and toys, getting ready to take photos of the hanging. Through all of the commotion, the Indian barmaid walks silently towards the jail.

She enters the jail and when the Sheriff demands to know her business, she quietly disrobes and stands before him naked. The Sheriff, not one to pass up any opportunity, strips off his pants and looks up in time to see the woman holding a pistol to his head right before she pulls the trigger. The gunfire is hidden by all of the firecrackers going off in the street. She grabs the keys and lets Jonah out of the cell. Hex thanks her and says that she would be better off coming with him.

They start to sneak out of the jail but they are spotted by the town. They mount up on a horse and the town suddenly springs to life with people intent on shooting Hex before he escapes. Hex shoots two people quick as a wink and then the fella selling postcards steps up only to meet a bullet himself. Hex then draws a bead on the photographer and shoots him as well. As Hex rides through town, the thug from the bar attempts to shoot him but nails a bystander in the head.

The bartender steps out of the saloon and shoots the Indian girl as they ride past. Hex reigns in his horse, grabs the reigns in his teeth and charges the barkeep. Jonah unloads two pistols into the barkeep as the frothing horse jumps over the blood spewing body. Hex then rides off into the distance.

The townsfolk are furious over all the dead people, the loss of their Sheriff, and the sudden cancellation of the hanging and picnic. They mount up, form a posse and head out after Hex.

Statistics for the Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - 5 that we can see.
Running Total - 492 (437 past, 55 future)
Jonah's Injuries - Bullet across the skull
Timeline - Same evening from last issue and the next day. Overall I would say we are in day three.

This one had a hellofa lot of action in it and just spun deep into the weirdness at the beginning. One thing that I didn't care for, and it will be an ongoing gripe, is the overall ugliness of the townsfolk. I don't know if it was supposed to be a comedic tone being set or what. Remember the village idiot that Hex makes Sheriff in the Jonah Hex movie? He would be a Burt Lancaster in this town. And everyone appears to be either corrupt, an idiot, or both. The series is starting to turn sour for me by the end of this issue.

Next Issue: The final fates of the Indian girl, Slow Go Smith, and Jonah Hex confronts Doc Williams.

Jonah Hex Oscar possibility?

2011-01-21T22:42:00.000-06:00

Yeah, it is true. Jonah Hex is on a short list of nominations for an Academy Award for Best Makeup. According to Hollywood Reporter:

Alice in Wonderland and The Fighter are among the seven films that remain in the makeup competition of the 83rd Academy Awards.
The additional titles are Barney's Version, Jonah Hex, True Grit, The Way Back andThe Wolfman.
On Jan. 22, members of the Academy's Makeup Branch will be invited to view 10-minute excerpts from each of the shortlisted films. Following the screenings, members will vote to nominate three films for Oscar consideration.
The 83rd Academy Awards nominations will be announced Jan. 25.

Let's take a look at what I think should be the final three and why:

The Way Back: Appears that the makeup consists mainly of horrible effects of brutal weather and aging of actors. A possibility, but it has been seen/done before.

Barney's Version: Again, showing actor's through various stages of life. Seen it quite often

The Wolfman: Transformations into frightening creatures? Yeah, I think this should make the final three.

The Fighter: Boxing wounds? Uh, been done before and I don't see anything ground-breaking here.

Alice in Wonderland: I think I enjoyed the makeup more than the film itself, but I wonder how much was makeup and how much was CG? Still, one of my picks for final three.

Jonah Hex: I'm not being partial here, but I know some of the new techniques they developed for Brolin's makeup and I think they pulled off an entire film with very good makeup. Last of the final three.

True Grit: Last of the bunch and best film of the year (that I have seen) including best actor. However, there is nothing here, makeup-wise, that we haven't seen in any other film nominated.

My picks? Jonah Hex, The Wolfman, Alice in Wonderland. We'll find out on the 25th.

Addition to the side gutter - another blog

2011-01-14T14:34:00.000-06:00

Four Color Promises is a new blog that covers comic book ads, and you can't have too many of those kind of posts amongst the intrawebz. Drop on over and give Shannon a look-see and tell 'em I sent ya.

Jonah Hex: Two-Gun Mojo #1 "Slow Go Smith"

2011-01-13T23:00:00.001-06:00

Jonah Hex: Two-Gun Mojo #1 Aug 1993
"Slow Go Smith"
Joe E. Lansdale, story - Tim Truman and Sam Glanzman, art and cover

Six and a half years after our last story of Jonah Hex, within the pages of a Vertigo imprint, our fearless bounty hunter surfaces once again. This time, the art is grittier, the dialogue harsher, the townsfolk dumber. All in all, this ain't your father's Jonah Hex. We'll have to decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing. (and it may end up being both!)

Back then Vertigo had no ads, so the inside cover was the title page and credits and the first page was splash page of Jonah with a piece of scrollwork bearing this quote:

"He was a hero to some, a villain to others, and wherever he rode people spoke his name in whispers." - John Albano

Can we pause here for just a moment while I climb upon my house and throw myself off in disgust? That quote is from Weird Western Tales #26, the first place it appeared in print, and that issue was penned by Michael Fleisher. John Albano, if he wrote those words, never had them appear in a book penned by him. I like the idea of paying tribute to the man who created Jonah Hex, but how about doing it accurately and maybe also paying honor to the man who wrote well over 100 stories about Jonah Hex? What in the hell did Michael Fleisher do to continually get shafted when it comes his contributions regarding Jonah Hex?

The Hex we see on the splash page has long hair in a ponytail, a more ornate Confederate coat and holds his pistol with his pinky extended. Now on to the story.

The tale opens with Jonah being drug through the countryside by three of the most disgusting looking thugs as of yet unveiled in western comics. The comic is narrated by Jonah in a minor tongue-in-cheek style, downplaying the danger he is in. The thugs stop dragging him and then slip a noose around his neck and put him up on his horse. It appears that Jonah killed their sister but Jonah contends that she was trying to rob him. They say that spitting tobacco juice in her eye as she was dying was uncalled for. Jonah admits that his aim was off since he was trying to spit into the bullet hole in her head.

At that instant, a shot rings out, and Jonah's horse is shot straight through the head as we hear cursing from a nearby hill. Another shot and one of the thugs drops dead alongside Jonah's dead horse. Sadly, with Jonah's horse dead, Hex is left dangling from the end of the rope. He barely manages to get a few fingers between the noose and his neck but that isn't helping much.

Just then a raggedy grizzled old man comes walking over the hill, shoots the second thug and as the final thug rides off, the old man takes careful aim and shoots the horse dead. Of course, this whole time Jonah is still dangling from from the noose having barely gotten a couple of fingers between the rope and his neck. The old man cuts Jonah down with a sword.

Jonah takes note that the old man missed one of the horses and the old guy asks if Hex is complaining but Jonah says he's just stating a fact. The old guy says he's been hunting these guys for the bounty. Hex introduces himself and the old man recognizes the name, introduces himself as Slow Go Smith. Smith goes about robbing the cadavers and when Smith offers to split with Hex, he replies that he doesn't pick dead men's pockets. Smith then uses his sword to cut off the heads of the men and stuff them into a sack.

Jonah then mounts the remaining live horse and Smith gets on his (safely hiding in some nearby bushes) and they ride off into the setting sun.

Next day they ride into Mud Creek, Texas where Professor Argon is charging folks 25 cents to get their picture taken with a couple of corpses in coffins. As Hex and Smith ride past one fella asks if they want to buy some post cards of the Price Gang, however the Price boys ain't the ones being photographed, those are the Traywicks. Fella says some guys surprised the Traywicks coming out of the cafe that morning and shot them dead. Jonah lands some tobacco spit on the fella's shoe and asks how many HE shot. The guy confesses that he was taking care of some Chamber of Commerce business when it all went down.

Hex and Smith dismount and walk off but the guy keeps pestering them, trying to sell postcards of the Price boys, what are stuffed and stacked over at the livery. Hex says he wouldn't want to buy cards with blood on them. The Commerce guy replies "What blood?" and Hex states "Yorn, you don't get away from me." The guy commences to caterwalling but another townsfolk explains that he was just threatened by Jonah Hex "his own damn self. He's killed more men than Hell has souls."

Smith and Hex walk into the Sheriff's office and deliver the bag of heads in order to collect the bounty on the Traywick's. Turns out the men the townsfolk shot were in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Sheriff asks how Jonah got his scar. The reply?

Sheriff explains that since he already paid out the bounty it'll be a couple of days until he can get some more reward money. That means Hex and Smith are gonna have to hang around town for a spell. As they head for the saloon they pass a discarded flyer for Doc "Cross" Williams Wagon of Miracles.

In the saloon the bartender asks Jonah how he got his scar. The reply?

A couple of locals are playing cards and one dumps over his beer and calls the Indian barmaid over to clean it up. He grabs her and tells her to use her tongue and forces her face to the table. Hex busts a bottle across the local's head and when the other one draws on him, Jonah kicks him to the ground, places a boot on his head and forces HIM to lick the manure off his buddy's boots.

The bartender starts to pull a rifle and Smith grabs his pistol and throws it upside the barkeep's head. Hex holds a pistol to the local's head until the boots are clean, then Hex asks Smith why he threw the pistol. Smith says he had a better chance of hitting what he was aiming at. Hex runs the locals off and he and Smith stay in the saloon most of the night.

Very much later they head for the hotel and ask for rooms. The hotel manager states that they only have one available. Hex and Smith eye each other and decide to share the bed.

Of course, later that night Hex learns that Smith is a horrendous snorer and Smith learns that Hex won't put up with it. Smith finds himself out in the hall and eventually ends up at the livery. The livery owner says he'll charge Smith the same rate as a horse and then they walk past the bodies of the Price boys. The owner says that since Smith saw the bodies, he'll have to charge him a nickel as well. Smith replies to put it on Hex's tab.

Jonah is back in the room trying to fall back asleep but Smith has some troubles of his own. He's awakened by someone walking towards him in the stables. He draws his gun and shoots the stranger five times point blank, but the man keeps drawing closer.

Hex hears the shots and realizes they are coming from the livery. More shots are fired and Hex climbs out the window and drops to the ground to investigate.

Back at the stable, Smith runs out of bullets and we see a rotting bullet-riddled body of the Price boy pull a pistol and shoot Smith dead.

Statistics for this Issue

Men killed by Jonah - 0
Running Total - 487 (432 past, 55 future)
Jonah's injuries - Drug behind horses and hung by the neck
Timeline - There ain't no telling. This story does cover two days and two nights, but this is a totally different look for Hex so we can't place it among the other books based on his outfit.

Gothic Horror and Westerns seem like they belong together. The time was full of blood and guts and superstition with folks often not asking questions, just shooting the hell out of stuff. So I can see how they would make a good match. Is it good here? Well, so far.

This West is a lot grittier, a lot mangier, and a lot less welcoming than anything we've seen before. Heck, the world of 2050 was a lot more appealing to me and they had giant grasshoppers! The story is told from Hex's perspective, with the captioning being Hex relating the tale, something that wasn't done a lot in early nineties but is so much in vogue now, with a colored caption and small symbol indicating who is 'talking'.

At this point in time, Lansdale had some novels under his belt, but this was his first foray into comic books. I hadn't seen any of Truman's work but I recognized Glanzman from the Haunted Tank and other war books that he had done. His sketchy look mad everything have a very gritty feel and I think worked quite well. Truman's populace of the Old West was quite often filled with horrible ugly people that looked like the villains in a Disney film (only worse) or a Dick Tracy strip.

All in all, I did enjoy the book and looked forward to the rest. How does THAT idea play out? Pretty well, but you know, comic companies quite often go back to the same well too many times.

And, oddly enough, I think my family is related to the Price boys. (looking at the time stamp of this post, I started this back on Oct 10th of 2010. Longest I ever took for a review.)

Next Issue: Zombies are all too real (and I'm too lazy to find the next issue to write a snappy teaser.)

House Ads #32

2011-01-12T06:00:00.001-06:00

I still love these House ads because they would throw two completely different books together in one ad. If they did this today, what two books could you see in an ad like this?

Pitchman-A-Go-Go #87

2011-01-11T06:00:00.000-06:00

For an exciting toy this is a pretty dull ad. I never remember seeing a Russian G.I. Joe.

We Interrupt This Blog.... #22

2011-01-10T12:30:00.000-06:00

.. to help you carry all that junk in your trunk...

Jonah Hex movie in the news once again!

2011-01-05T19:38:00.000-06:00

Yup, the words JONAH HEX are being uttered again and at this time of year it can only mean one thing.... awards. Not just ANY awards.... THE RAZZIES!!!

From Moviefone:

Start rooting for your favorite bad movie of 2010 because the Golden Raspberry Award (aka Razzie) nominations will be announced Jan. 24. A shortlist of possible Worst Picture nominees has just been released.

According to the Los Angeles Times Awards Tracker blog, the 12 finalists are 'Little Fockers,' 'Sex and the City 2,' 'The Expendables,' 'Grown Ups,' 'Clash of the Titans,' 'Killers,''The Bounty Hunter,' 'Yogi Bear,' 'Jonah Hex,' 'The Last Airbender,' 'Vampires Suck' and 'The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.'

That is some tough competition.

The Many Phases of Jonah Hex - The Complex Hex

2011-01-04T06:00:00.000-06:00

This phase of Jonah Hex is a hard one to pin down regarding which issue it starts and what issues it covers, but of course, it ends with the end of the Jonah Hex book. It does overlap with the Tragic Hex in many ways and it may actually be more tied to Fleisher's storytelling than any actual change in Jonah Hex himself.

The keynotes of the Complex Hex would be:

Long overlapping storylines
Growing supporting cast.

In issue #50, not only did Fleisher introduce Emmy Lou Hartley, a woman that Jonah would shun and then turn to, he started a chain of events that would reveal some more of Jonah's past as well as build up a group of people that we would start to care about. It took Jonah from a lone gunman with a friend-of-the-month-who-winds-up-dead-or-betraying-Hex to a man with a circle of influence that would shape and direct his life.

Fleisher started weaving stories together and actually had some story arcs end in the middle of the issue. The exit of Mei Ling tied in with the return of Emmy Lou and then melded into the abduction of Mei Ling. Mei Ling leaving again opened the door for Emmy Lou once again and all of that tied into the Cassie Wainwright revenge storyline that also morphed into the crazy Manitou and slowly ended up with Jonah in jail. Adrian Sterling surfaced once Emmy was abducted and in some stories we had a page of Jonah, a page of Mei Ling, a page of Emmy, a page of J.D. Hart, and a page of Adrian.

While it seemed like a lot was happening, it also seemed like nothing was happening and oddly enough, I loved it. The complex Hex was much more that a book about a scarred bounty hunter, it became the story of his estranged wife, his blonde girlfriend, his Marshall friend that was putting the moves on his wife, two enemies teaming up against him, another crazed lunatic showing up, and girl after girl after girl falling in love with him and he in love with them.

This last point probably is the main point in the complex Hex. The man's life was a whirlwind and I'm sure that during this time his head and heart were a whirlwind as well. His wife leaves, memories of his dead fiance are resurrected and it appears that every blonde in the old west was throwing themselves at him. Hex even ends up leaving "the West" and stay in New Orleans for some time, attempting to 'blend in' to a society, while somewhat uproarious by today's standards, was still decades more refined than anything Jonah had encountered.

Jonah, I think, has learned to suppress his emotions for a very long time as a defense against his father. Mei Ling tapped into those emotions and Jonah started living by his heart rather than his head. Of course, we see the disaster that became of their relationship, so Jonah goes back to living with his head. Until, of course, those emotions start stirring within him once again with the vendetta against the killers of Cassie Wainwright.

It's at this point Jonah re-channels his emotions, moving them from his heart to, shall we say, an organ much lower in the scheme of things. This leads him to Emmy Lou and eventually Adrian Sterling. With Adrian, Jonah suppresses everything that his is, except for his hat, and tries to fit into society. All of this for a relationship that on Adrian's side is a weapon against her former fiance and her father and on Jonah's side is a weak attempt to put away his gun-filled lifestyle (such as what Mei Ling requested of him) in an attempt to convince himself that he was in love when in reality he is in lust.

The Complex Hex is a Hex that entails not only an erratic and unorthodox manner of story-telling, but it entails an erratic and unorthodox manner of looking at the old West and the heart of a ruthless man.

The Return of Bruce Wayne #3 "The Bones of Bristol Bay" and #4 "Dark Knight, Dark Rider"

2011-01-01T14:35:00.000-06:00

The Return of Bruce Wayne #3 August 2010
"The Bones of Bristol Bay"
Grant Morrison, story - Yanick Paquette and Michel Lacombe, art - Andy Kubert, cover

This appearance is more of a cameo, really, but it does give us a little bit more than a last panel reveal of Jonah Hex. The bulk of the story is devoted to Bruce Wayne versus Blackbeard. The last two pages are what we are interested in...

We are somewhere along a coast and we meet two men in a graveyard. They are discussing that they have to meet a man here in a huge haunted house that has been haunted since Judge Solomon's brother died in the caves. They speak of the mansion never having been finished and how their lives have been messed up since going out west. They also talk of having to meet a big-time spooky gunslinger.

As they approach the mansion, a voice beckons them into the parlor and we see a hand of cards, Aces and eights, on a table. The man, Jonah Hex, tosses a joker toward the table and tells the men he figures they're men of reason since they had the guts to meet him on cursed and haunted ground.

The men state that they have brought down some sort of fury upon their heads, it never tires, it never stops. They present a primitive Batarang, saying that it was dug out of one of their shoulders. Their boss will pay triple of what is in the bag they brought if Hex can kill this thing that is after them. Then they ask is Hex is ready to prove that he is the best as everyone says that he is.

The next page reveals Bruce Wayne/Batman is 1800's garb, astride a horse.

Statistics for this issue

Men killed by Jonah - 0
Running Total - 487 (432 past, 55 future)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - With the reveal of the Deadman's hand, I'm somewhat quick to assume that this takes place after the death of Wild Bill Hickok but there is no direct reference to a Deadman's hand so that is no help. I would probably have to know more about the timeline of the series to pin this one down more precisely. The hand of cards reveals more as told in the Annotation at Comics Alliance.

Page 30: The mansion here is Wayne Manor -- Judge Solomon Wayne and his brother Joshua had purchased it unfinished from Van Derm, largely so they could use the caves as part of the Underground Railroad. Joshua died, as referenced here, playing a masked avenger role to save some escaping slaves. Note Hex's hand of cards - 8A8A, or "H.A.H.A." (with H as the 8th letter of the alphabet), the Joker's Dead Man's Hand from "Batman R.I.P." -- named such, by the way, for being the hand Wild Bill Hickok had in poker when he got offed.. It's worth noting, though, that here the cards are all black, rather than black and red as in the Joker's hand -- perhaps representing that instead of the punchline of life and death, we're dealing with the death that is life?

Page 31 : Of course, the first panel here makes the Joker allusion utterly blatant.

One thing I especially enjoyed was the juxtaposition of Jonah Hex's scar next to the iconic Joker card. For some reason it gave me chills. It's a nice cameo with some nice artwork.

The Return of Bruce Wayne #4 Sept 2010
"Dark Knight, Dark Rider"
Grant Morrison, story - Georges Jeanty and Walden Wong, art - Andy Kubert, cover

I'll be covering this issue a little more indepth because Jonah appears throughout it more. The keyword is "appears". The story starts with the gents from last issue slaughtering a family, hanging the father, killing the young son, and making off with the daughter and a small box with a bat symbol on it. They ride off, leaving the mother holding her dead son, her husband's corpse hanging in a tree as the rain falls.

She prays for a dark avenging angel to rescue her and we see Bruce Wayne/Batman appear.

Gotham City: The two men have been joined by a third (who was also at the house) and Jonah Hex. They are explaining how they encountered this bat creature back west and that they have hired Hex to work for "Monsewer Sauvage". They enter a gambling hall and introduce Hex to Vandal Savage.

Savage is pouring himself a stiff dose of laudanum because, while he can't die, the cancer he has is still eating him alive. Savage asks Hex if he cut himself shaving (nice little nod to the original WWT tales, there) and says that he would offer Hex some, but doesn't want to ruin Hex's aim. Hex declines anyway and clarifies that he has been hired to kill a mystery man, at least that is all he could understand from Savage's lackys.

Savage explains about a cowboy in black that have been giving Chuck and Lucky problems and Savage wants an end put to it since they have work to do. Hex comments that Savage is paying and then asks about what is behind a nearby door since it smells like they are burning sage and something else it that other room. Savage replies that it's complicated and it has something to do with Bonaparte.

Just then the door opens and Midnight Horse stumbles out (thank you, Comics Alliance for helping me with that part). Horse remarks that he is no longer needed but if the box is opened it will be the end of the world. Jonah states "End of the world's extra" as Chuck tosses a roll of bills to him. Savage says that there is more, always more, as soon as that demon is put down.

We cut to outside the gambling hall in the rain (however, the artwork makes it appear to be a small western town, rather than large Gotham City). Four men confront Batman and they end up with batarangs in their shooting arms. Batman ends up on the roof, taking out a guard. Inside, Horse shouts that HE is coming for the box, causing Hex to ask what has Horse been chewing. Savage replies that Hex can have either money or answers, not both.

Savage tells Chuck and Lucky to bring in the mystery man so Hex can kill him and orders Horse back into the room to open the box. Now that seems weird, you hire the best bounty hunter in the world and send to grunts out to drag in a mysterious bat-man so the bounty hunter can shoot him. I would send out Hex to earn his dang money!

Hex says that they can spare all the hoodoo, just point him to the target (!?!?!? He's a bounty HUNTER!) so he can get out of there.

Inside the room is Thomas Wayne(?), questioning the daughter from earlier, getting her to open the box. Horse enters the room, there is an argument and Wayne shoots and kills Horse, sending him crashing through the door and back into the room with Savage and Hex. Savage asks Hex to help him fill some old saddlebags with gold bars. Wayne exits the room, holding the box and dragging the girl with him.

Outside, Chuck and Lucky are tracking down Batman in the fog. One of them gets jerked up into the shadows and the other turns and shoots the third thug as he's trying to help. Suddenly Batman jumps out of the fog (we then learn they are inside (?)) and kicks the remaining thug down into the gambling tables.

Outside, Savage, the girl, the box, and Wayne are making a break for it in a covered wagon through the streets of Gotham. Hex is riding alongside on his horse. Batman swoops down, landing on the wagon. Hex shoots at Batman, hitting him in the left shoulder, Batman throws a batarang, hitting Hex in the right arm and knocking him off his horse.

The wagon is careening towards the docks where Alan Wayne is contemplating suicide and as Thomas Wayne battles Batman, Savage is fighting the girl and then the whole shooting match overturns on the dock, narrowly missing Alan Wayne and crashes into the water. Batman encounters Alan Wayne and the girl, the girl opens the box by whistling to it, Vandal Savage knocks out Thomas Wayne before he can shoot everyone, Batman beats the crap out of Thomas Wayne as Wayne calls out to Hex.

Jonah comes striding out of the rain, holding a pistol on Batman. Wayne demands that Hex shoot, while the girl begs him not to. Hex replies:

and shoots Batman, causing him to fall off the dock into the water, never to surface. There is closing dialogue from Alan Wayne explaining that Hex rode off to meet his destiny, we see Jonah Hex riding into the sunset, looking at a batarang, his saddlebags stuffed with the gold bars. A few bars lay in the sand behind him and we are unsure if he has tossed them aside or they have accidentally fallen out.

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 0
Running Total - 487 (432 past, 55 future)
Jonah's Injuries - Batarang in right bicep.
Timeline - Unclear, right after last issue.

It's hard to rate the 4th issue of a 6 part series when you don't follow the series, so I won't try. I'll just go into the characterization of Hex. Let me just say: What the HELL?!?!?! The whole idea of hiring a bounty hunter and having him just sit around waiting for some thugs to drag the prey to him is absolutely nuts. We should have seen Hex on the rooftops attempting to track Batman down. But since this is a Batman title, he gets all the glory and everyone else stands around letting Batman be all spooky and stuff.

Hex just working for the cash is nice, especially shutting up when Savage tells him that he can have money or answers. Jonah shooting Batman in the end seemed appropriate, since he did have a score to settle for the batarang in the arm. And i did like the idea of Hex ending up with Napolean Bonaparte's gold, but it is very unclear as to why it's on the ground in the end.

The artwork was murky and made it hard to follow the story. The previous issue had art that I could follow, even though I didn't know the whole storyline.

I would give this about a 3 out of 10 for a Hex appearance, not great and Hex didn't do much, but it was better than his appearance in Swamp Thing.

DC Universe Holiday Special 2010 #1 "Guiding Light"

2010-12-31T10:19:00.000-06:00

DC Universe Holiday Special 2010 #1 Dec 2010
"Guiding Light"
Seth J. Albano, story - Renato Arlem, art - ?, cover

A lonely hilltop in California, 1865. A covered wagon, a campfire, and a father and son. The scarred visage of Jonah Hex hovers over them in the smoke from the fire.

It is the just past midnight, the first day of Chanukah, and Kaleb Kane is talking to his son Avram, who had his Bar Mitzvah just this year. They discuss the gelt coins given during the holiday and then Kaleb produces a small box that was given to him by his father. Avram takes the box and opens it to reveal coins, very ancient coins.

Suddenly, twin gunmen, Barry and Larry Turner, step out of the shadows, demanding all their money. Kaleb complies, telling them where their money is kept. The Turner's ransack the wagon and not being pleased with the amount, kill Kaleb. The Turner's say that anyone on the trail to Sutter's Mill are only there to buy gold so there must be more money somewhere.

Avram dives over the edge of the hill as the Turners unload their shotguns at him.

Much later, Avram climbs back up the hill to find the wagon on fire. He vows to his father to recover the box of coins and lights a small fire as a memorial to his dad. He heads off to Sutter's Mill and comes staggering into town two days later. John Sutter is fetched and they take Avram to the local doctor who is holed up in the saloon. Sutter tells the doc that they have some work for him and the doc grumbles "That ugly bastard with the Confederate jacket just took the last room."

Sutter heads upstairs and knocks on the door of the room. Jonah Hex answers the door, holding a pistol in Sutter's face and we can see a saloon girl on the bed in the background. Sutter tells Hex that the Turner twins have murdered Sutter's cousin and the reward has been doubled. Hex allows the boy into the room and the saloon girl, April, helps the doc treat Avram's wounds.

Two nights later we see the Turners camped at the base of the hill where the robbery took place and they are commenting that the campfire on top of the hill is back, even though they have doused it four nights in a row. It spooks them that the kid comes back every night to relight the fire, but they can never find him.

The next day, Avram and Hex head out. Avram tells Jonah that he wasn't able to bury his dad and asks Jonah what he would have done in that case. Jonah replies that he would have left his old man to rot.

The following day finds the Turners on top of the hill, pouring water on the campfire, trying to figure out how to catch Avram. Night falls as they continue their search. Later as Hex and the boy ride atop the hill, the campfire blazes up once again. Hex tells the boy that his eyes must be playing tricks. If there is a fire, then someone is nearby, probably the Turners.

Down the hillside the Turners notice the fire blazing once again and as they turn around they are confronted by Jonah Hex himself.

Jonah shoots one of them reaching for his pistol. Jonah asks the other why they didn't bury the rabbi if they were camped by the wagon? The robber says it wasn't them, the kid came back every night to relight the fire. Avram reaches into Turner's saddlebag and retrieves the box of coins as Turner is pleading with Hex to spare his life. Turner points out that he is worth twice as much alive. Hex retorts with...

The following morning, the Turners are on a drag sled behind Jonah's horse and Avram is standing next to his father's grave. Hex asks Avram how he kept resetting the fire. The Turners kept hanging around trying to put it out, otherwise it would have been a lot more difficult locating them. Avram says that he was with April and doc the whole time. It must have been a miracle.

Hex replies that there ain't no such thing, just resourceful men. Maybe someone was looking out for Avram. Avram chuckles and agrees that it was "someone". Jonah comments that Avram will make a nice rabbi and hands him a book, a Hebrew prayer book given to him by John Sutter to pass along. As Jonah rides off, Avram reads from the prayer book and the story closes with a dedication to John Albano Sr. and John Albano Jr.

Statistics for the Issue

Men Killed by Hex - 2, the Turner twins
Running Total - 487 (432 past, 55 future)
Jonah's Injuries - none
Timeline - eight days in Dec 1865

All in all, not a bad story. Not a great story either. But for a first time venture not bad. This takes me back to the last time Jonah was in a Holiday Special, 30 years ago, where we learned of the horrible fate of Roy the Raccoon. It also reminds me of a backup story in Justice League of America where the air in the leaking satellite lasted eight hours instead of one.

As a Jonah Hex story, it suffered because there was very little of Jonah. Of course, it was a story of Avram and Chanukah. I will also admit that the current Jonah Hex series, at times, deals much more with people encountering Hex than depicting Hex's adventures from his point of view. It just seemed to me that Scalphunter, Bat Lash, or El Diablo could have been plugged in to substitute for Jonah in this tale. The other thing that stuck in my craw was the date: 1865.

With the mention of Sutter's Mill, I did some digging, since my historical recall isn't always exact. Sutter's Mill is where gold was discovered in California in 1848 and during the next seven years over 300,000 people flocked to California. Seven years...1865. The only problem is this: Jonah Hex was scarred in 1866. This makes me wonder what the job of an editor and an associate editor at DC comics entails. It sure doesn't include fact checking the continuity of your characters history, that's for sure. Isn't there anyone that picked up the DC History department from Bob Rozakis? Even then, there is the internet option for research, wikipedia .... blogs.. surely there was SOMEONE that has some sort of running timeline for the history of Jonah Hex (cough cough).

Another problem pointed out in the DC Forums, the rabbi has a cross on his grave instead of a Star of David. Again, lazy editors (I'm looking at YOU, Mike Carlin!!!)

Enough ranting.

As a holiday story, in this case Chanukah, it was nice. Something mysterious happened that couldn't be explained naturally and it tied in with the tradition of the holiday. Compared to the JLA Chanukah story from the 80s, I think it was less tied in to the holiday. Where the JLA story had something that should have lasted only one hour actually lasting eight (a parallel to the oil of the Macabees lasting for eight days instead of one), this story ties to the tradition of lighting the menorah for eight days. There is a slight parallel with the fire lasting eight days despite being put out repeatedly, but I think the point was better made in the JLA story.

Seth, it's nice to see an Albano name in the credits again and I hope you're able to make some more inroads into the business. Keep plugging away. Just remember, you've gotten something published. Me? I'm just carping from the sidelines.

Finally, Renato Arlem was the artist. Wow, the man finally did some WORK!!! There wasn't one photocopy that I could see in these eight pages, a record for that man. However, everyone looked pretty wooden but the work was better than his last attempt at Jonah Hex.

As for the rest of the book? Anthro, art good, story ehhhh. Green Lantern, liked it. Spectre, meh, Superman, why did they bother? Legion was cute. Not as good as it was 30 years ago.

More DC movie info

2010-12-22T13:26:00.000-06:00

I got to thinking, since someone mentioned Swamp Thing, that there were more movies made of DC products that what were listed in BoxofficeMojo's DC Brand. So I hunted up Comic Book Adaptations and came up with this list:

The Dark Knight	$533,345,358	7/18/2008
Batman	$251,188,924	6/23/1989
Batman Begins	$205,343,774	6/15/2005
Superman Returns	$200,081,192	6/28/2006
Batman Forever	$184,031,112	6/16/1995
Batman Returns	$162,831,698	6/19/1992
Superman	$134,218,018	12/15/1978
Superman II	$108,185,706	6/19/1981
Watchmen	$107,509,799	3/6/2009
Batman and Robin	$107,325,195	6/20/1997
Road to Perdition	104,454,762	7/12/2002
Red	$87,991,858	10/15/2010
Constantine	$75,976,178	2/18/2005
V for Vendetta	$70,511,035	3/17/2006
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen	66,465,204	7/11/2003
Superman III	$59,950,623	6/17/1983
Catwoman	$40,202,379	7/23/2004
The Shadow	32,063,435	7/1/1994
The Losers	$23,591,432	4/23/2010
The Spirit	19,806,188	12/25/2008
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace	$15,681,020	7/24/1987
Supergirl	$14,296,438	11/21/1984
Jonah Hex	$10,547,117	6/18/2010
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm	$5,617,391	12/25/1993
Steel	$1,710,972	8/15/1997
Return of the Swamp Thing	192,816	5/19/1989

I added Road to Perdition (it WAS Vertigo, wasn't it?) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, The Shadow, The Spirit, & Return of the Swamp Thing. There was no data available for the original Swamp Thing in 1982 or the original 1960's Batman.

Then I adjusted them for inflation and got this list:

The Dark Knight	$533,345,358
Superman	$436,208,559
Batman	$429,533,060
Batman Forever	$255,803,246
Superman II	$252,072,695
Batman Returns	$245,875,864
Batman Begins	$217,664,400
Superman Returns	$212,086,064
Batman and Robin	$142,742,509
Superman III	$127,694,827
Road to Perdition	$124,301,167
Watchmen	$107,509,799
Red	$87,991,858
Constantine	$80,534,749
LoEG	$77,099,637
V for Vendetta	$74,741,697
The Shadow	$45,850,712
Catwoman	$45,428,688
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace	$29,166,697
Supergirl	$29,164,734
The Losers	$23,591,432
The Spirit	$19,806,188
Jonah Hex	$10,547,117
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm	$8,257,565
Steel	$2,275,593
Return of the Swamp Thing	$329,715

The biggest jump is Superman up to #2. Let me know if I missed any other DC properties and I'll make the needed adjustments.

Things are crazy around here, so I doubt that I will be posting prior to the New Year. You can catch me on Twitter @MatchingDragoon (like THAT is interesting) and I hope that you all have a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year.

See ya in 2011.

Another little tidbit about the Jonah Hex film...

2010-12-15T23:18:00.001-06:00

Yeah, I just can't lay off it. I was looking at Boxofficemojo and they have a little thing called a brand. Hmmm. I click on DC BRAND and I see a list of all the DC movies and guess what? Jonah Hex isn't the worst DC movie!!!

Rank	Title (click to view)	Studio	Gross / Theaters		Opening / Theaters		Date
1	The Dark Knight	WB	$533,345,358	4,366	$158,411,483	4,366	7/18/08
2	Batman	WB	$251,188,924	2,201	$40,489,746	2,194	6/23/89
3	Batman Begins	WB	$205,343,774	3,858	$48,745,440	3,858	6/15/05
4	Superman Returns	WB	$200,081,192	4,065	$52,535,096	4,065	6/28/06
5	Batman Forever	WB	$184,031,112	2,893	$52,784,433	2,842	6/16/95
6	Batman Returns	WB	$162,831,698	2,644	$45,687,711	2,644	6/19/92
7	Superman	WB	$134,218,018	817	$7,465,343	508	12/15/78
8	Superman II	WB	$108,185,706	1,878	$14,100,523	1,397	6/19/81
9	Watchmen	WB	$107,509,799	3,611	$55,214,334	3,611	3/6/09
10	Batman and Robin	WB	$107,325,195	2,942	$42,872,605	2,934	6/20/97
11	Red	Sum.	$87,991,858	3,349	$21,761,408	3,255	10/15/10
12	Constantine	WB	$75,976,178	3,006	$29,769,098	3,006	2/18/05
13	V for Vendetta	WB	$70,511,035	3,365	$25,642,340	3,365	3/17/06
14	Superman III	WB	$59,950,623	1,763	$13,352,357	1,759	6/17/83
15	Catwoman	WB	$40,202,379	3,117	$16,728,411	3,117	7/23/04
16	The Losers	WB	$23,591,432	2,936	$9,406,348	2,936	4/23/10
17	Superman IV: The Quest for Peace	WB	$15,681,020	1,511	$5,683,122	1,511	7/24/87
18	Supergirl	TriS	$14,296,438	1,620	$5,738,249	1,608	11/21/84
19	Jonah Hex	WB	$10,547,117	2,825	$5,379,365	2,825	6/18/10
20	Batman: Mask of the Phantasm	WB	$5,617,391	1,506	$1,189,975	1,506	12/25/93
21	Steel	WB	$1,710,972	1,260	$870,068	1,260	8/15/97

It is the third to worst theatrical release that they have had, financially. I think Mask of the Phantasm was a darn good film, so you can't just go based on dollar amount. But here is an interesting question: Of the films that you HAVE seen, how would you rank the films, best to worst?

Me?

Dark Knight
Batman Begins
Superman
Superman II
Batman
Mask of the Phantasm
Red
Batman Returns
Watchmen
Jonah Hex
Batman Forever
Batman and Robin
V for Vendetta
Superman Returns
Superman III

I haven't seen the rest and don't have much desire to except for the Losers.

Jonah Hex is the worst movie of 2010

2010-11-24T17:20:00.000-06:00

According to Forbes, it only made back 24% of it's production cost. Wow, what a way not only to kill a franchise, but dig it up, bring it back to life, kill it again and again and again. I don't think we'll see Jonah Hex on the big screen until 10 years after the new Catwoman film comes out.

The entire list?

Jonah Hex - worst
Extraordinary Measures
Repo Men
Scott Pilgrim vs The World
Let Me In
Splice
MacGruber
Green Zone
Furry Vengence
From Paris With Love
Charlie St. Cloud
Edge of Darkness

Well, I'm hoping True Grit does better when it is released.

Not completely dead....

2010-11-06T10:44:00.000-05:00

I don't know if there have been rumors of my demise, my disappearance, or even of my kidnapping or sleeping in late. They are all false, except for the last one. The last few weeks have been fast and furious with trips to my family, my in-laws, and my half century birthday (which is Jonah's bday +3).

Things are starting to settle down and I hope to get a few goodies posted as well as pre-posted to carry me (and you) through the week after next and then right on into Thanksgiving.

The main problem with the Jonah Hex movie storyline

2010-10-19T12:01:00.000-05:00

It's all right there for everyone to see, right there on the poster in the tagline "Revenge Gets Ugly!" Let me elaborate by examining the characters in the movie vs the characters in the book. Blue is the book, Purple is the movie. First up:

Quentin Turnbull:

Book: Plantation Owner
Movie: Former Confederate Commander
Was father to friend of Jonah Hex
Was Commanding officer of Jonah Hex
Son died while escaping Union fort, Jonah Hex blamed
Son shot by Jonah Hex
Prominent man in politics and business for years after war
Faked death in a hotel fire

Jonah Hex:

Served in Confederacy and surrendered to the Union
Served in Confederacy and went against direct orders of commanding officer
Scarred by Indians after perceived violation of tribal rule
Scarred by Quentin Turnbull for killing Jeb and then scars self to cover the original branding
Years after being a bounty hunter marries Mei Ling, a Chinese woman
Shortly after war and prior to being bounty hunter, marries and Indian woman
Has a son named Jason
Has a son named Travis
Mei Ling takes Jason and leaves Jonah
Wife and Travis murdered by Turnbull as Jonah watches.
Expert marksman
Can talk to the dead
Spent time with the Apache
Saved by the Crow

Revenge as a motive:

Quentin Turnbull has vowed to make Jonah pay dearly for the death of Jeb Turnbull
Jonah Hex has vowed to make Quentin Turnbull pay dearly for the death of his wife and son

THAT is main problem with the storyline in this film. This movie does not contain Quentin Turnbull, it doesn't contain Jonah Hex. It contains two people that may resemble the characters, but the entire history and motivation of the characters is wrong and inverted. Jonah Hex is a man who has been beaten on by life, has found a narrow ledge of society to walk on but he wants to be left alone. Turnbull is a man deeply ingrained in politics and society and he wants Jonah Hex dead...at least in the books.

In the movie, Turnbull is thought dead, is working outside the bounds of normal society and is trying to destroy the country. Hex appears to have no problems working as a bounty hunter, is vaguely sought after for 'killing' some 'lawmen' but has spent time trying to get his revenge on Turnbull.

The film is not about Jonah Hex, it uses the name as a lame attempt to cash in. The film revealed this when we learned who Tallulah Black was, a hooker (she wasn't), a beautiful woman with flawless skin (she was scarred). We got Tallulah Black in name only. We got a Jonah Hex film in name only.

I'm still waiting for a Jonah Hex film.

Jonah Hex - DVD & Blu-Ray review

2010-10-18T22:07:00.000-05:00

Well, I dropped the big bucks and picked up the DVD Blu-Ray digital copy version of Jonah Hex and I watched it and the special features. Let's take a look at it together, shall we?

Since the special features are only available on the Blu-Ray, a lot of folks won't be seeing them but I'll try to recap what little you're missing. First up, the deleted scenes, all three of them. We get to see a very rough scene of Jonah at night walking into a cemetery in the French Quarter, rough CGI crows following along with him. A weird Cajun funeral procession meets Jonah and a young Black boy with no pupils sits up in the casket and points across the graveyard. Jonah heads the direction the boy pointed.

Second scene is Jonah riding along, another rider on a horse following him, the rider is obviously dead. Lt. Evan and several soldiers appear to take Jonah to Grass. Jonah states that they should at least bury his partner first. Evan gets a puzzled look on his face and Jonah turns to find the horse and the dead rider are gone. Evan offers him a drink, Hex takes it, spilling quite a bit through his cheek and he sorta growls (this was seen in the trailer after Fox asks him "Can you?")

Next we have a scene on a stagecoach with Lilah and Doc Williams. Remember Doc Williams? He was the guy that had one line in the fight tent (not the guy Hex was talking to). Anyway, this takes place after the tent burns down and it is basically Williams being creepy and Lilah being bored.

The next special feature is the history of Jonah Hex comprised of talking points from Dan Didio, Jimmy Palmiotti, Justin Gray, Tim Truman, John Landsdale and Tony DeZuniga (wearing the worst wig I have ever seen in my life!). It was good to hear Jimmy and Justin talk about Hex, Tony was fantastic to watch, Didio? meh. Landsdale? Dear lord in heaven, I wanted to punch the man in the face. On camera he confesses that his stories were based on a faulty memory that he had of the character. Joe thought that Hex always had heavy supernatural elements so he wanted to recreate that. So DC decides to publish stories based on a bad memory? ARRRRGHHHH. I almost laughed as some of the folks talk about the wide range of writers and the several incarnations that there has been of Hex. Hmm, Writers? How about FOUR (counting J&J as one)! Incarnations? Three!! Superman has gone through more. Firestorm has gone through more!!!

And, of course, there is no mention whatsoever of Michael Fleisher, the man who wrote more Jonah Hex stories than everyone else combined!!! I can see why I wasn't contacted to be in the special features, I would have probably gone ballistic halfway through any interview. (hmmmm, I might have to shoot my OWN interview. Hmmmmm)

The last special feature is one that runs alongside the movie as a picture in a picture and it talks about how they shot various scenes, built sets, did special effects. I haven't watched the whole thing with this feature but it is fairly interesting so far (I have gotten up to the train explosion).

Tomorrow, I'll cover what I think is the main travesty of the whole Jonah Hex movie.

My visit to Jonah's grave

2010-10-15T06:00:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago my Lovely Wife and I went with some friends up to Guthrie, Oklahoma. Guthrie, among other things, was the first capitol of Oklahoma, has the largest urban historic district in the United States, and was hosting an art festival. We wandered about, looking at art when I suddenly remembered something.

Elmer McCurdy. I quickly asked a local where the grave of Elmer McCurdy was and they gave me exact directions to the graveyard. We had to do a little searching, but we found it. While wikipedia states it's in the NE corner of the graveyard, it's more in the North center of the graveyard. But now I had to explain to our companions who Elmer was.

Here is a nice overview from FindaGrave.com

A notorious outlaw in the early 20th century, who's events in death have become more famous then anything he did in life. He was born in 1880 to an unwed teenage mother whose family gave infant Elmer to her brother George and his wife to raise. He was later told the news which he did not take well. He began to drink heavily and eventually ran away. He tried several jobs working as a plumber and a miner and even tried to enlist to go in Theodore Roosevelt's occupation of The Philippines. McCurdy missed the expiration dated and didn't get to go. His tour of duty in the Army lasted only three years. After leaving the Army, McCurdy had no luck finding work and tried making his fortune as a robber. He and friend Walter Shapelrock were arrested for possession of tools used for burglary. Awaiting trial he met a man named Walter Jarrett. After being found not guilty, McCurdy was released and met up with Jarrett. Jarrett gave McCurdy the nickname "Missouri McCurdy. The two were not very successful as bank robbers, often blowing up the money with the nitroglycerin used to blast open the safe. In 1911, the two tried to to steal the safe from a Kansas train. The safe contained only a few dollars so taking their meager shipment, the gang headed into Oklahoma where McCurdy would meet his match. On October 8th, drunk and in need of rest, he fell asleep in a barn and later awoke to find that a small posse had tracked him down. Holing himself inside the barn he shot it out with the posse for better then an hour. When the shooting stopped, McCurdy was dead at the age of 31. No family or friends came to claim the body and the undertaker refused to give the body to the sideshow carnies who asked to have it for display. Sometime later two con men (one claiming to be his brother) showed up and claimed it and took it back to California where they encased it in painted wax. McCurdy was an outlaw doomed to fade into historical obscurity until his story took a bizarre twist some 65 years later. In 1976, a film crew went to Nu Pike Amusement Park in Long Beach, California to film an episode of The Six Million Dollar Man. One of the technicians came across a wax dummy hanging from a rope. Trying to move it, the arm came off and sticking out of the wax was a bone. The dummy was taken to a forensics laboratory for an autopsy but it was so petrified that the doctors had to use a hacksaw to get through it. They learned that this was in fact the body of Elmer McCurdy and that he had died of a .32 caliber gunshot wound. He was soon after buried in a formal ceremony and cement covered the coffin of a man who's body had made a 65 year journey to the grave. (Bio by S. Mason) (bio by: Savannah Mason)

But now I had to explain WHY I wanted to see this. For that I had to explain the Jonah Hex Spectacular from some time back and the Secret Origins issue from yesterday. My friends are way too patient with me.

So we wandered the graveyard for a little bit, paid our respects to Elmer and also to this headstone:

Secret Origins #21 "The Secret Origin of Jonah Hex"

2010-10-14T06:00:00.001-05:00

Secret Origins #21 Dec 1987
"The Secret Origin of Jonah Hex"

Michael Fleisher, story - Gray Morrow, art - Jose Luis Garcia Lopez, cover

Secret Origins was a great book back in the 80's. DC decided to have this book, giving space to one Golden age character and newer character, often with an artist that either originally drew the character or could mimic the style of the original artist. The Golden age character stories was almost always written by Roy Thomas and the newer character stories was penned by the ongoing writer or the writer who was handling the reigns on the relaunch.

Usually the newer character was involved in a new book, so it is somewhat odd that Jonah Hex, just canceled that year, lands a spot in Secret Origins. I picked it up because I'm a fan. I already knew about Jonah's Secret Origin. Heck, I even knew about his OTHER Secret Origin. So what was I going to learn in this story? Well, a little something, so hang on.

We start off in the Frontier City Amusement Park in Laramie, Wyoming. There is a Frontier City Amusement Park in Oklahoma City, but I get that wasn't Wild Westy enough, but I'll cover that a little bit more in a later post. Anyway, we see a scantily clad young woman running through the park at night being chased by two gun-wielding thugs. She shouts for help, rounds a corner and the heel of her shoe breaks off, throwing her into a nearby cowboy statue. We hear a director shout "CUT!" and we realize that we are witness to the making of a low budget movie. As they set up for the scene it is discovered that the statue that was knocked over was not a statue, but a stuffed corpse.

An unknown time later, at Princeton University a Prof Lawrence is talking with a Mr. Kastner over the phone. Lawrence states that, according to the description and the photos Kastner sent, the corpse must be that of Jonah Hex. Kastner explains that the statue was purchased with a lot of other stuff when West World Amusement Park in NY went out of business. Lawrence asks if Kastner has plans to display the corpse but Kastner explains there is a fly in the ointment.

Frontier City had the corpse repaired and Kastner (we assume he with a museum) want to buy it, but there is an old Cheyenne woman who has an injunction on the sale. She states she is Jonah's common law wife and wants the body for a Cheyenne burial. Lawrence is on a plain to Wyoming asap.

Meanwhile, in Lombard, Illinois, we meet a Mr. Lewellyn, a collector of American Frontier Memorabilia. He is showing two of his thugs around his collection. He has Wyatt Earp's Buntline,, the poker hand held by Wild Bill Hickok when he was shot, the tomahawk of Scalphunter, the table from the saloon where Jonah was shot, Hex's glasses, George Barrow's shotgun, even Mei Ling's wedding dress. BUT he is wanting the stuffed corpse of Jonah Hex. He even has a glass case ready for it and he tells his thugs to do anything in order to obtain it.

At the Gray Eagle Indian Reservation in Wyoming, Lawrence pulls up in a Land Rover in front of a bunch of tipis. He thinks that he never imagined that Tall Bird would still be alive, let alone survive the fire set by Lew Farnham. He enters a tipi and meets Tall Bird. As he pushes the elderly Tall Bird around in a wheelchair, Lawrence states that she has answered every question he has poses, so there is no doubt as to her identity, but Lawrence asks another question: What happened to Jonah in the town of Red Dog in 1875 when he literally vanished from sight?

Tall Bird states that Jonah did speak of it once, "that he had been vouchsafed a visit to a strange new world" and they would never speak of it again. Lawrence asks about Jonah's son, Jason. Her answer? "He told me about Jason. But his is a tale so fraught with horror that I have vowed to carry it within me, in secret, to the end of my days."

The Prof then asks what drove Jonah to be a bounty hunter. The story Tall Bird relates:

The drunken Woodson Hex gives Jonah a rifle for his birthday, something very uncharacteristic of the abusive bastard. Jonah is probably, oh, TEN? (well, we don't know, but it IS before his mother leaves.) We see a joyous Jonah running around the farm shooting bottles, sticks, scarecrows and the like. That night, Ginny comes home from a day in town. The buckboard broke down and she had to get it fixed. Woodson accuses her of hanky panky and starts slapping her around. He breaks a bottle and threatens her with it.

Young Jonah awakens to the disturbance, grabs the rifle and confronts his father only to get the crap slapped out of him and knocked to the ground.

Tall Bird stops there and says that she will finish the story in the place where they found Jonah, the amusement park. Lawrence takes her back home and heads for his hotel. When he steps into his room, he is attacked by Lewellyn's thugs and told to have Tall Bird sign over the corpse to them.

The next day at Frontier City, Tall Bird retells Hex #7 and #8 in three quick panels and Jonah fell into drunkeness and loose women. One night as he was staggering down the street, he sees a large man beating a young woman. Jonah hallucinates, thinking that it is his father and he draws on the man and shoots him dead. The sheriff shows up and states that Jonah just killed Lucas McGill, a wanted murderer and hands the sizeable reward over to Jonah. Jonah looks at it in a puzzled way, drops it to the ground and rides off.

Back in Frontier City, Lewellyn and his thugs step forward and demand that Tall Bird sign the papers. She, sitting in the shadow of her dead husband, refuses. Lewellyn pulls a gun and states that he will have his way no matter what. Suddenly a shot rings out and Lewellyn drops to the ground. Lawrence grabs the dropped pistol and demands that the thugs drop their weapons.

Later, we see the police carting off the thugs and the body of Lewellyn. Lawrence and Tall Bird have to go to the police station to give their statements but as they leave, Lawrence turns to Jonah Hex and says that by tomorrow, they will have Jonah out of there. The police drive off, leaving the stuffed corpse of the greatest bounty hunter standing alone.

Statistics for the Issue

Men Killed by Jonah Hex - Well, McGill and dare I say, Lewellyn? There was nobody else to shoot him. So how about two?
Running Total - 485 (430 past, 55 future)
Jonah's Injuries - none
Timeline - Supposedly this takes place in 1987 and probably spans about a week.

This really isn't a SECRET origin. We only get five pages of info on Jonah's past that we didn't have before and only two of those as an adult. Pretty lame stuff all around. We do get to see Tall Bird, a verification that the HEX series is considered canon, a hint at the horrible end of Jason (not yet seen), but we never see what happens to Jonah's corpse. That is left hanging there, begging for answers.

If Tall Bird gets custody and burns the corpse, how can Jonah see it in the future? If it ends up in a museum, how can it be 'collected' with amusement park junk in the future so Jonah can see it? This issue raises many more questions than it answers and at times I think it would be better if it hadn't been written. The artwork by Gray Morrow, once again too full of Ziptone, too murky, too stiff, too 1950's, too YAWN!!!

Next post, will tie up this story and the Death of a Bounty Hunter into a nice little package. I have mentioned this item before, but it is worth repeating. After that, we'll visit some more of the guest appearances of Jonah Hex and then we dive headlong into the world of VERTIGO. (Don't say I never did anything for you guys, okay?!?!?)

Hex #18 "Thanksgiving"

2010-10-06T09:32:00.000-05:00

Hex #18 Feb 1987
"Thanksgiving"

Michael Fleisher, story - Keith Giffen and Carlos Garzon, art and cover

An undisclosed amount of time after last issue, we find Jonah Hex and Stiletta on their motorcycle, plowing across a snow-covered countryside. Stiletta mentions that Mookie and Vance are cooking up a good Thanksgiving dinner, so she hopes Jonah is hungry. Jonah think it's odd that she can find anything to be thankful for in the sinkhole that the future is.

Just then a shot rings out, knocking Jonah off the bike and throwing Stiletta into a snowbank as the bike crashes. It appears that there are some structures around and Jonah takes cover behind one of them. Stiletta makes her way to Jonah's side, dodging the ongoing gunfire as she does. She looks at Jonah's injury (we don't because Keith Giffen obviously hadn't drawn his way out of the wet paper bag yet to be able to show us anything understandable) and Jonah states that there is no way he can ride the bike to safety. He tells Stiletta that she will have to go get help and reluctantly she takes off on foot.

Jonah starts looking for a place to hide and smashes in a basement window and crawls down inside the basement. We then see that there are three gunmen who are looking for Hex. They find blood drops in the snow and follow them to the broken window. They crawl down into the darkness and then they notice the smell...and the fuel hose coming in from the window. As the truth dawns on them, Jonah, who is now outside, tosses his lit cigar into the window, blasting the three gunmen right up to God's front door.

Jonah collapses into the snow, bleeding as heavily as ever and his mind races back into the past. Jonah is ten years old and is forced into a boy fight by his father. We see Jonah getting pummeled all because his father wanted to use the prize money for whiskey.

A loud pounding brings Jonah back into the present and he sees that six more gunmen have shown up, looking for the first three. Jonah makes tracks for another building as the new guys locate the remains of their comrades. They also see the blood spatters being left by Jonah and start searching. Jonah, in his hiding place has another flashback, this time to when he found a small raccoon and kept it as a pet. Back in the present, the thugs split up and one of them checks the shed that Jonah is in. as he pokes around in the dark, Jonah steps out of the shadows and slides a knife through his ribs.

The dying thug makes the smallest of sounds, but his buddies hear just enough to head to the shed to investigate. They bust down the door and find their dead friend. They see a hole in the wall and assume that Jonah has headed out that way and give chase. Jonah, however, is still in the shed and slowly slips into another recollection, this time about Thanksgiving dinner where Jonah and family, unbeknown to one of them, consumed the family pet raccoon. This leads to a fight between Jonah and Woodson, with Papa Hex using the Backhand-Beltstrap Combo that was outlawed in Street Fighter 7.

Jonah comes back to his present troubles, bleeding still, and tries to move from his hiding spot, only to stagger and collapse once again. Shortly thereafter, the gunmen, realizing that they can't find Hex and decide to doubleback. They find him on the floor of the shed and prod his body with their foot. A pistol pops up in Jonah's hand and two gunmen show up early for their appointment with St. Peter of Pearly Gate fame.

A third gunman gets his act together, draws his weapon and Jonah barely whispers "Better hang it up while you're still ahead, right?" The gunman turns to see Stiletta and a small army getting ready to use the remaining gunmen as target practice. The gunmen drop their weapons as Vance, the doctor rushes forward to tend to Jonah. They quickly get Jonah back to Vance's place.

Vance's place is a huge warehouse, location unknown and we next see Jonah is some sort of hoverchair, not as cool as Metron's but a step up from Niles Caulder. He is in a healing body stocking that not only monitors vitals be released meds in appropriate doses. Vance explains that all Jonah has to do is think and the chair will go where he wants to go. It seems that Mookie, Vance's wife, collects amusement park antiques, several of them from the early 20th century. Jonah's chair goes gliding through the collection as Jonah sees 'antiques' that are completely new to him.

Past the bumper cars and merry-go-round horses Jonah finally comes across...

He thinks that someone had made a statue of him after he got old but then he realizes that it isn't a statue, but a stuffed human. He recognizes his own dragoons and sits in silence, staring at his own corpse. Finally, one thought travels through his mind "Ah guess it means ah'll be goin' back home one day... after all."

The issue closes with Stiletta finding Jonah sitting in the dark.

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 5
Running Total - 483 (428 past, 55 future)
Jonah's Injuries - Apparently gutshot and almost bled out.
Timeline - There is no way to determine how much time passed between last issue and this, but it appears that this issue takes place in only one day.

And this is how it ends. The incredibly sad horrific life of a scarred man, far from home and unable to return, is brought to some sort of circle where the end turns back onto the middle. It makes me wonder what Jonah's viewpoint was after that. Did he have a concept that every day could be his last, once he returned to his present, and he was more cautious? Did he think that he had nothing to fear in the future and became even more reckless there? And as postulated elsewhere, (By Ms. Hillwig, I believe) what went through Jonah's mind in 1904 when Lew Farnham held up that exact same cowboy suit for Jonah to see, almost like the Death itself grabbing you by the shoulder and spinning you around?

All in all, a so-so issue. Giffen's artwork was actually helped by the addition of white space between the frames, but in some places the weird angles, overuse of ziptone, and using color to provide artistic detail rendered the work on par with Bobo the Incredible Painting Monkey (Ya know, the monkey with a glass eye and a hook for a hand whose other arm got mangled in that automatic banana peeler accident that the zoo tried to cover up. Yeah, THAT monkey). In the flashbacks, Fleisher got some of his own details wrong as if he were working from memory, much like Jonah, but unlike Jonah, I don't think Fleisher was suffering from blood loss. I do have to admit that the last four pages of the book are worth double the price of admission, so I would suggest that you grab a copy if you can. (When was the last time THAT was ever said about a copy of HEX?).

18 issues of the bounty hunter thrown into the future comes to a close. Was it worth it? Or should they have just left Jonah in the past, never to see his own corpse?

The issue is closed out with a letters page, the last letter by T.M. Maple himself.

Next Up: Ten short months later and Secret Origins presents us with the Secret Origin of Jonah Hex.

Hex #17 "The War with the Xxggs"

2010-10-02T22:33:00.000-05:00

Hex #17 Jan 1987
"The War with the Xxggs"

Michael Fleisher, story - Keith Giffen and Carlos Garzon, art and cover

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT OOOOPS KABLAMMMM Tear drop.

Oh. You want MORE detail than that? ooooooooooookay. Hang on, cuz here we go!

Jonah Hex, our scar-faced time-displaced bounty hunter is the topic of conversation between S'ven Tarah and Stanley Harris. S'ven is astonished at how much havoc Jonah was able to cause when suddenly the guard drones drag Stiletta into the room. Stiletta is surprised to see Harris since she thought he went back to the past right before the Needle explosion. She takes out the guard drones and then I have no idea what happens. Don't believe me? YOU tell me what is going on in these three panels.

Meanwhile, three Xxggs are running loose through the compound, searching for S'ven Tarah. They also have these floating sidekicks (ala Skeet) by they appear to be organic and shoot and horrific power blast, at least that what I THINK is happening in these three panels.

Currently S'ven Tarah has realized that the Xxggs are in the compound and he has 30 minutes before he can launch his spaceship that will signal the future destruction of the Xxggs race. The Dogs of War offer to battle the Xxggs but S'ven reminds them that five of them are required to properly man the spaceship if its mission is to be successful. If even one of the Dogs of War perish, Earth (in the future) is doomed. S'ven decides to dispatch his guard drones to slow down the Xxggs to buy time until liftoff. The Dogs of War, along with Jonah Hex and Stiletta, take off for the spaceship.

During the quick race across the compound, Jonah asks if anyone can bring him up to speed. Harris explains S'ven's plan to alter the genetic makeup of the Xxggs race in this current time and the genetic weakness will snowball until the Xxggs can be defeated in the far flung future. Jonah replies that he is still in the dark on what is going on.

You and me both, Jonah, you and me both.

Across the compound, the Xxggs encounter the guard drone army and quickly dispatch the several hundred of them. S'ven, realizing that the Xxggs have not been slowed down enough does the only thing he can. He releases all of the prisoners, the criminals and the innocents that he enslaved, provides them with weapons and allows them to encounter the Xxggs. Thousands of slaves are released and when they encounter the aliens, they fight bravely, but are slaughtered en mass.

With time running out and the Xxggs having the run of the compound, S'ven orders the Dogs of War to fight the Xxggs to prevent the destruction of the spaceship, however, none of them may fall in combat. The Dogs of War embark from the skycraft that are using to get across the compound (when did they get into THAT?!?!?) leaving Jonah and Stiletta to their own devices. Jonah roots around the ship and finds a jacket that somewhat fits.

The Centurion encounters the first Xxgg and it's sidekick and blasts it with enough energy to "level half of Rome" but the aliens are unfazed and the Centurion has to retreat.

Harris encounters a Xxgg next and using his chronal aging powers quickly ages a huge wall, causing it to collapse on the Xxgg, but the alien is able to blast its way free and Harris beats a hasty retreat.

The Ninja is next up and with the swiftness of his blade is able to slice one of the sidekicks in half but there is some sort of explosion and a wall collapses and falls on him, crushing him. One of the sidekicks is laughing a hideous laugh when a huge arm jets up from the rubble and squishes the sidekick. It is the Demon that lives within the ninja. The demon states that he is sworn to forever thwart the ninja's hope of an honorable death and then retreats back into the ninja. As the Ninja realizes what has happened, we here the Demon state "Effortlessly could I destroy all your enemies if I chose, little ninja, but give me one good reason why I should."

Then we see....wait one cotton picking minute. The Demon could kill all the aliens but won't? The demon is sworn to protect the Ninja from an honorable death? Then why the hell didn't the ninja head out and take on the aliens all by himself? That would be an honorable death and the demon would HAVE to protect him and destroy the aliens. I ain't no ninja and I could get that demon to do MY dirty work. Sheesh.

Anyway, then we see the viking running toward a Xxgg with his battleaxe, he smacks the ground with it, causing the rocks that the Xxgg is standing on to crumble but then he heads out for the spaceship.

Next is the flying Manta Ray who quickly realizes the Xxgg are immune to his paralyzing stare and he heads for the spaceship.

By now S'ven is resigned to his loss when suddenly Jonah Hex breaks in on the comlink and quickly outlines his plan. Its crazy, but just crazy enough to work. Stiletta drops Jonah off in front of the Xxggs and he takes off on foot and the aliens give chase. Jonah runs down a tunnel and turns a corner. The Xxggs come around the corner, see the tunnel and head in, just as Jonah steps from the shadows and activates the forcefield, sealing the Xxggs within the tunnel.

Much much too late the Xxggs realize that the tunnel they are in is actually the exhaust damper chamber for the spaceship and as it takes off they are fried to a crisp.

With the ship safely in space and all of the Dogs of War safely aboard, S'ven thanks Jonah and Stiletta for their help and explains that he must go back to his own time. If he does not, the Xxggs will send more search parties. S'ven will wipe his mind of all knowledge of what has happened, they will capture him and realize that he knows nothing.

Jonah interrupts, saying that since S'ven has been talking about time travel could he send Jonah back home? S'ven states that the teleportation crystal that he has only has enough energy for one more trip. Jonah asks what will happen when S'ven returns. S'vwn replies that he will be mind-scanned and then executed...then he fades away.

Jonah and Stiletta are left among the smoking, burning ruins of the compound and Jonah looks upward. Stiletta asks "Well?" Jonah replies, "Nuthin. Just lookin that's all. Wondering if'n mebbe ah couldn't see 'em." and we are left to see a twinkling star that could be the spaceship that will save the Earth.

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 0 (Three aliens don't count)
Running Total - 478 (428 past, 50 future)
Jonah's Injuries - none
Timeline - same day as last issue

Well, like I said earlier, it's a lot of fighting and a little bit of sadness. Sadly, everything was out of character with Jonah being the one to figure out to lure the Xxggs into the damper chamber but he is the hero of the book. It's just that Jonah can hold his own against humans in the future, but you start throwing in super powers and alien races, and that stretches even MY willing suspension of disbelief.

Giffen's artwork is still a major downfall of this book and there are times that I realize that if this book is ever printed in black and white there is no way in HELL anyone could know what is going on. Personally, I think that he should be charged with fraud for posing as an artist. Does anyone know if Giffen got some sort of kickback from a black ink company? I have NEVER seen an 'artist' use so much of the stuff.

Next Issue: Jonah has one last shootout and makes a horrific discovery.

HEX #16 "The Slayer and the Slave!"

2010-09-30T06:00:00.002-05:00

Hex #16 Dec 1986
"The Slayer and the Slave!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Keith Giffen and Carlos Garzon, art - Denys Cowan and Carlos Garzon, cover

Jonah has been captured and is now part of the slave labor in the camp that belongs to the Visitor From the Future. Having had enough, Jonah grabs a rock and attempts to bash in the head of one of the guards. But this only gets him pummeled by half a dozen guards.

Meanwhile, Stiletta has visited a doctor to learn the reason behind her sudden attacks. He tells her that her symptoms indicate that the mind control drugs are very slowly working their way out of her system. However, he has also located a 'booster' cell implanted in her and that accounts for her great strength and speed. He says that he can remove it but just then three thugs bust in and demand drugs from the doctor. Stiletta jumps into action, crushing one thug with a roof beam (I think, I'm not sure), she throws a knife completely through the second thug and it appears that she snaps the third thug in half. Stiletta decides to keep the implant.

Jonah is now being held in a cell, but he reveals that during the beating, he manages to lift an electronic key off one of the guards. He figures out how to work it and manages to unlock all of the cells in the compound. So there is a huge jailbreak and during the confusion, Jonah decides to not run with the crowd and hides in a drainage pipe until all the commotion dies down.

Meanwhile, in the far far far flung future, the Xxggs have figured out that the Visitor From the Future has escaped their clutches and is now in the past (yet still, our future). They dispatch a liquidation team to hunt down S'ven Tarah (so THAT'S his name!).

Back to Jonah Hex. He is still hiding in the drain pipe when a guard comes by and Jonah jumps out and tries to clean the guard's clock. Jonah and the guard battles it out with Jonah winning .

Stiletta? She has left the mining town and headed toward the slave camp in an attempt to locate Jonah. Once she sneaks in, she has one of her attacks and with her super strength, beats the ever-loving snot out of the guards. However, this raises an alarm and several hundred guards are dispatched to the area. Oddly enough, one of the guards has a terrible scar.

Appears that Jonah has donned the suit of the guard to beat up and he now is wandering the compound and comes across the giant starship that S'ven Tarah is building. Sadly, he also comes across the Starkad, the Viking from the Dogs of War. They fight, fight, fight, with Jonah taking most of the damage until Jonah douses him with gasoline and threatens him with a flamethrower (holy, Jonah Hex movie tie-in!!)

Suddenly Stanley Harris appears and sets everything right, introducing everyone all around.

Meanwhile, someplace in the darkness we see what appears to be a vehicle driving down the road. An alien looking arm appears, people scream, confusion reigns and we head for the next issue.

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 0 (this is getting old!)
Running Total - 478 (428 past, 50 future)
Jonah's Injuries - Crap beat outta him twice
Timeline - Again, no idea. A day? A week? phhggt

While there was plenty of action, this issue is like watching Raiders of the Lost Ark with my glasses off. Sounds like a lot happening, but I can't see a damn thing. Two issues to go!!

Next Issue: Fighting! Explosions! Tears! Anti-Climax!

Hex #15 "Chain of Doom"

2010-09-29T12:03:00.000-05:00

Hex #15 Nov 1986
"Chain of Doom"
Michael Fleisher, story - Keith Giffen and Carlos Garzon, art and cover

Jonah Hex exits the cafe and meets Stiletta at the motorcycle. He asks if she has ever heard of a gang called the Dogs of War. She says that she hasn't and Hex relates the tale he heard in the cafe regarding an alien from the future. Hex decides to try to locate this fella to see if he has a way to get Hex back home. They both jump on the bike and head out but Stiletta starts getting dizzy and attributes that to all the drugs that were forced into her over the past few issues.

Conglomerate Headquarters! Yup, we're back at that palatial estate and none other than Chain is talking to the head man himself. Chain is demanding that he be allowed to kill Jonah Hex, but the Conglomerate has no beef with Hex since Jonah toppled the empire of Reinhold Borsten. Besides, they would never hire a loser like Chain. Chain responds to the insult by instantly killing once of the Conglomerate's thugs. The head guy calls for reinforcements and Chain quickly slices the head off one and cuts the other one in half, explaining that he no longer has a regular chainsaw for hand but now has a photon scrambler. Having made a shambles of everything, Chain leaves the room with the head of the Conglomerate quaking in his boots.

At the slave labor camp, our unnamed alien in doing an introspective recap and we learn that he is from the future that has been conquered by an intergalactic race called the Xxggs (pronounced Shhigs). There is no good way to condense this, so I'll go pretty much verbatim on this one.

The Xxggs cam from the star system Erqlahlia in a giant generational starship, that was both a ship and a homeworld. This allowed them to travel for generations, seeking planets to conquer and when they reached Earth, they swept across the planet. Their science and technology was so superior there was nothing Earth could do. Eventually, all of Earth was enslaved and our alien buddy hatched a brilliant scheme.

He would travel back in time preceding the invasion in order to built a starship that could intercept the Xxggs ship enroute to Earth and then utilize a Nucleotide Injector to subtly alter the Xxgg's gene plasma in order to weaken the Xxggs throughout the future generations, thus ensuring Earth a victory in the coming battle. In order to do this, the alien would utilize the help of the Legion of Superheroes, BUT while our alien was trying to go back in time to the 30th century, Reinhold Borsten was tossing 'time-nets' into the timestream to gather warriors to fight in his staged battles. Our alien friend was caught in one of those nets.

The alien strikes a deal with Borsten. If Borsten allows the alien access to all of Borsten's resources in order to build this ship, the alien would then create a band of super-powered being to allow Borsten to rule the world. The alien knows that Borsten has no chance of accomplishing this goal (since there is no mention of Borsten ruling the world in the future), so the alien is given a Norseman, a Roman Legionary, a Japanese Ninja, and a Maori Chieftain, as well as Stanley Harris (whom the alien caught himself after the Needle's destruction.) Got all that? Good, cuz there's gonna be a test later.

Back to Jonah Hex and Stiletta on their bike. They are traveling across the countryside and Jonah mentions that they are getting close to where the Road Reaper told him the slave camp would be. WAIT! But isn't the slave camp three thousand miles from New York? I looked back at issue #13 and I'm not so sure. The Dogs of War capture the Road Reapers 3k miles away from New York, but the location of the slave camp is never given.

But I digress. On with the story.

Suddenly there is a huge blast, narrowly missing the bike.

We cut to the Dogs of War talking how they just blew up a titanium mining operation. Is that anywhere Jonah Hex? I have no idea. Can't tell from the story and sure as hell can't tell from the art. But let's continue on, shall we? So the Dogs of War are standing around talking about the ray they used, given to them by the alien, would only cause the mine to collapse and not injure any of the workers trapped inside. The ninja, Sun Hawk, summons forth his demon who clears a path down to the trapped miners and then the Dogs of War take all the miners aboard their spaceship to work in the slave camp.

Elsewhere we see a lone ship flying over the landscape and it is piloted by Chain's little brother. He is searching for Jonah Hex but is having no luck yet.

Meanwhile, Jonah and Stiletta roll into the mining camp (so they must have only seen that huge explosion, not been the target. Thanks, Keith, for portraying that in such detail). Stiletta and Hex split up to question the locals in order to learn if this was the work of the Dogs of War. Overhead, Chain's little brother picks up Jonah on the video and then alerts Chain.

Jonah is talking to some locals, getting the skinny, when they suddenly scream that the monster's are back. Before Jonah can react, he is tackled to the ground by Chain.

In another part of the camp, Stiletta is getting sweats, cramps and then suddenly goes into convulsions, ripping up huge hunks of buildings and throwing them around.

The battle between Jonah and Chain is not going well for Hex who is only able to dodge the photon scrambler. Jonah pulls a pistol, but Chain reduces it to mere atoms. Jonah turns and runs into a nearby mine, knowing there will be something there to help even the odds. Chain follows into the darkness and comes upon and open explosives locker. As he takes in what he is seeing, a grenade sails forth from the darkness and explodes at his feet.

Jonah steps out of the shadows, silently thanking Mabel for teaching him about all the toys that the future holds. Just then the mine wall explodes and Chain sails through, knocking Jonah to the ground. Chain stands over Hex, gloating as Jonah tries to get to his feet. That's when Jonah notices that one of Chain's boots is broken and is throwing out sparks. Jonah goads Chain into getting closer and lures Chain into stepping into a shallow pool of water.

Science being what it is, the electricity and water mix in such a way that Chain is electrocuted as well as having the jets on his boots ignite, catapulting him up through the mineshaft and into the darkening skies. Jonah pulls himself to his feet and starts to find Stiletta, only to collapse unconscious.

Back in the mining camp, Stiletta has regained control of herself but has little idea of the destruction she has caused.

Jonah regains consciousness and heads back to the camp when he is suddenly covered by a huge shadow. He looks up just in time to see the flying Manta Ray from the Dogs of War unleash his paralyzing gaze and Jonah falls to the ground.

Statistics for this issue

Men killed by Jonah - Do we dare suggest that Chain is dead? Nahhhhh. 0
Running Total - 478 (428 past, 50 future)
Jonah's Injuries - Well, he once again gets the crap kicked out of himself and then gets hit with a paralyzing beam.
Timeline - Really, who knows? Let's just call it the same day as last issue. That seems about right.

Now about this issue. AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH. What in the ever loving HELL was DC thinking by letting Keith Giffen do the artwork on this book? His work on Ambush Bug was hard to understand but I did enjoy the book. Here, if possible, it seems that he just got lazier. I really feel sorry for Carlos Garzon who had to INK this crap. How many bottles of ink did he go through on each page? The biggest part of the problem with Giffen's work is that he wanted to be all cutting edge and he provides NO MARGINS between panels. Just a thin black line, and in work (cough cough) like Giffen's, a thin black line can be anything from a spaceship to a cute girl on the sidewalk. Hell, Little Lulu has more artistry than this guano-taco!!

The storyline moves deeper & deeper into intergalactic sci-fi and with a different star character that might be a good thing, but not here. Now it may seem odd that I am willing to accept an 1800's cowboy entangled with time-travel and a futuristic society but I draw the line at aliens and such. Maybe it's because that almost every time-travel story is about normal people encountering an advanced society and their problems with adjusting. Space aliens are usually NOT part & parcel of time-travel unless it is about aliens in the future traveling backward. Usually forward time-travel can find more than enough story fodder in the societal differences without having to bring in aliens and space travel.

You may have noticed a HUGE gap between the recap of last issue and this. I chalk some of that up to a hectic few weeks but I have to admit that I am not looking forward to wading through the next few issues. I'm gonna have to take the band-aid approach and just rip through them and take all the pain.

Next Issue: Stiletta gets all super-powered, Jonah vs a Viking, and the Xxggs finally land in the 21st century!!!

Tubby Tuesday #3

2010-09-14T06:07:00.000-05:00

Tubby

releases his inner Jackie O

Tubby-less Thursday

2010-09-02T13:09:00.000-05:00

Yeah, it's not Tuesday. Don't matter, cuz this panel from Little Lulu collection #6 doesn't have Tubby in it.

The picture is priceless, in or out of context. Enjoy.

Hex #14 "Gladiator"

2010-09-01T12:53:00.000-05:00

Hex #14 Oct 1986
"Gladiator"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon, art and cover

Hex is in a high speed chase through the streets of New York, blindly pursued by the Combine while he attempts to locate Stiletta, kidnapped by the Combine and forced into recreational fighting under the name The Blonde Spitfire. Jonah does the best he can, driving through the streets and shooting out the driver's window. Sadly, in the future almost everything is heavily armored and the bullets just bounce off. In the back of the limo Hex has stolen is the tied up chauffeur, a dead member of the Combine, and another member of the Combine, bruised but still alive.

Hex demands to know if the limo has anything that will stop his pursuers and the Combine member directs him to the tailfin torpedoes. Jonah mashes the button and a quickly launched torpedo explodes on a Combine thug astride a hover-bike. Hex demands the whereabouts of Stiletta and with a pistol pressed against his forehead, the Combine member spills forth with all the info Hex needs. Hex makes a hard right down an alley and then quickly bails out of the limo. The Combine member sees that the alley is a deadend and dives into the driver's seat, trying to stop the limo. He slams on the brakes and the rocketing limo stops just inches from the brick wall at the end of the alley. However, the Combine still thinks Hex is in the limo and launches a torpedo of their own, blowing up the limo, sans Hex.

Elsewhere in the city, we spy on Stiletta in a fierce battle with a battle-bot. Three men; Drago, the Doc, and a short henchman, are discussing an implant that will be placed within Stiletta. Even though she is undefeated in 14 bouts, the implant, highly illegal, will double her speed and triple her striking power. The Doc warns that there could be unforeseen side effects. Drago is willing to take the chance since he plans on using it only if she starts losing. The Doc checks Stiletta and administers another dose of Mind control shots but he also warns that since Stiletta is extremely strong willed and shots of this potency could have an irreversible effect on her mind.

But, enough about the Combine, let's look in on the Conglomerate and their heavily fortified Soames processing plant. During a heavy downpour a lone guard sees something advancing through the rain. He opens fire and the Centurion, even though there is little sunlight, manages to deliver a huge force blast. With the alarm sounded, a huge dome starts to enclose the processing plant. Despite the best efforts of the Viking, the Manta Ray and the Centurion, the dome is undamaged.

That is when Stanley Harris steps forward, peels off his gold gloves and touches the dome. Seems that Harris now has a horrible chronal energy residing in his hands and anything that he touches ages rapidly (thus the gold gloves to prevent unwanted horrors). In the space of a few minutes the entire dome, ages, cracks and collapses. Then all hell breaks loose.

The Conglomerate unleashes a spider tank that blasts the Ninja (aka Sun Hawk) but the Viking runs forward and tries to chop off a leg of the spider tank, to no avail. Then he and Harris start climbing the legs while Manta flies upward and covers the windshield of the tank. The Viking makes it to a joint on the leg and lops it off, Harris plants an explosive onto the tank and the Centurion punches it toward a hillside where it explodes into pieces.

Back in New York, we visit in on a man washing and polishing and beautiful hovercar. Jonah Hex drops from above and kicks the ever-loving crap outta him.

Back to Drago and Co. Drago is saying that they need to get Stiletta to Atlanta for her next fight when the short henchman suddenly sees their car flying straight for the window of their building. Jonah Slams the hovo through the window as everyone scatters (except Stiletta, who stands like a statue, awaiting orders). Drago pulls out a machine gun and Jonah pops from the hovo and plants one between Drago's eyes. The henchman and the doc head for the door, the henchman shouting "Spitfire! KILL HIM!"

Jonah tries to reason with Stiletta as she draws a knife, but Hex sees the glazed look in her eyes and knows he is on trouble. The battle commences, with Stiletta attempting to stab Jonah repeatedly. Hex lands a haymaker square on her jaw but she doesn't even flinch. She launches a kick to Hex's head and then presses a button on her wrist cuff, launching darts from her shoulderpad. Jonah is pinned to the wall and ass he fights to free himself, Stiletta grabs a whip, ensnares Jonah's legs and then throws him out the window to the street far below.

Stiletta walks over to the window to view the final fate of Jonah Hex, but she is greated but both of Hex's boots to her head. Jonah has caught himself on a narrow ledge and then jumps back into the room and pummels Stiletta into submission.

Remember that huge prison work camp 3,000 miles away? Well, we go back there to check in on the Road Reapers that were taken as slaves to work there. The Road Reaper is thinking about how every day the Dogs of War take off and every day they come back with more slaves, putting glowing electro-cuffs on the slaves. Just then the Road Reapers own cuffs flicker and go dark. Just then a guard droid appears but without the electro-cuffs working, the Road Reaper is invisible to the droid. The Reaper then hotfoots it out of the camp and on to freedom.

Later (I'm standing by this because that is what the caption said) Jonah is driving his bike with Stiletta tied up on the back. She slowly awakens and starts demanding to know where she is and why she is wearing that outfit. Jonah pulls the bike over, determines that Stiletta is in her right mind and then he cuts her free. They continue on their way, with Hex bringing Stiletta up to date and everything that has happened since her kidnapping. they stop at a place called the Atomic Diner and Stiletta goes into the ladies room to change clothes.

Hex mosies inside and overhears the Road Reaper talking about being captured and held a slave. He relates the rumor that the brains of the operation is an alien that has actually traveled here from another time. At that point Jonah drops his tray of food, and mentally repeats "Came here from another time?"

Back at the compound, the aforementioned time traveling alien is deep in self contemplation. He ponders on the growing number of slaves but that the work is going too slowly. He had hoped to only enslave the dregs of society, in order not to disrupt the future, but he foresees that he will have to start kidnapping innocents in order to ensure his glorious dream of salvation.

Statistics for This Issue

Men killed by Jonah - 1, Drago bought the farm
Running Total: 478 (428 past, 50 future)
Jonah's Injuries - beaten up and thrown out a window by Stiletta.
Timeline - Whew! I have no idea how many days this one stretches across. The first part of the book appears to take place all in the same day, but once the Road Reaper escapes from the compound, he manages to travel 3,000 miles in a few hours?!?!?! It IS conceivable that he caught a flight, but he's a ROAD REAPER who has been a slave. I doubt that he has a ready supply of cash on hand. But Jonah and Stiletta only travel for what appears to be a few hours before encountering the Road Reaper. Ah, well, let's just ignore that whole "instant travel across country for the sake of the story" thing.

Well, we have Jonah Hex and Stiletta reunited, but there is that unknown side-effects thing that could cause problems. We learn a few more teasers about the Dogs of War who consist of a Roman Centurion that uses sunlight to issue force blasts from his hands, a flying Manta Ray that has paralyzing eye beams, a huge viking with a massive axe, a Ninja that can summon forth an inner demon, and Stanley Harris who has someone obtains chronal powers in his hands. The alien, while starting out enslaving only bad people now may have to enslave good people (is that worse? I thought enslaving anyone would be equally bad.) We also get very short glimpses into the Combine/Conglomerate/Other bad entity starting with the letter C.

All in all, the action kept coming and this story was a lot like the books near the end of Jonah Hex, where we got a page or two of everyone involved, just to keep the story rolling. Not sure if that is good or bad. It just is an observation.

Running out of time, so scans will be posted for this issue later tonight. Until then just imagine how glorious it all looks.

Next Issue: The Chain-Saw Killer returns with a new blade, the history of the mysterious alien and the Xxggs, the origin of the Dogs of War, Stiletta suffers adverse side-effects, and Jonah faces the one foe he cannot overcome... the 'artwork' of Keith Giffen. (the things I do for you guys! sheesh!)

Hex #13 "The Dogs of War"

2010-08-25T12:43:00.000-05:00

Hex #13 Sept 1986
"The Dogs of War"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon, art - Denys Cowan and Rick Magyar

Batman's Bat-plane has just taken a header into the river and the Terminators are destroyed, leaving Jonah Hex on the riverbank about to jump in to rescue Batman. Hex dives in to the murky river and locates the Bat-plane but finds no evidence of Batman's body. He is suddenly attacked by two scuba-diving thugs, knocked unconscious and dragged away underwater.

Three thousand miles away (presumably outside Seattle) the Road Reapers are bearing down on a water convoy and as they start their attack the Reapers (and we as well) are treated to the sight of these fellas!!!!

Yeah, it's a giant spacecraft that unloads a flying giant Manta Ray, a Ninja, a Viking, and a Roman Centurion and the spaceship is piloted by Stanley Harris. All of these guys have bullet-proof armor and make short work of the Reapers, especially when the Centurion throws force blasts from his hands, the Manta Ray shoots paralyzing lasers from his eyes, and the Ninja turns into a gigantic Oni (demon). The spaceship lands and the captured Road Reapers are loaded onto the ship and taken away.

Jonah regains consciousness to find himself in a wooden cage hanging from the ceiling. Two very barbaric looking goons are heating up a large kettle and are talking about cooking Jonah Hex up to make some Hexcellent stew. (hee hee, my joke, not theirs. Hey! I think it's the first time in 4 years I've made that pun). Jonah, not one to be gnawed on, grabs his knife, cuts the rope holding the cage and the entire thing falls on the goons, breaking open and knocking them into the fire.

Jonah makes tracks through what appears to be a sewer system and finally ends up on the bank of the river, free for now.

Back to the giant spaceship with the captured Road Reapers, we find that the ship has arrived at a huge area that appears to be some sort of prison work camp. The Reapers recognize some of the other workers as being from rival gangs and it slowly dawns on them that they are now slaves!

Jonah finally makes it back into town and recovers his motorcycle and ends up back at the Kit Kat Klub to find Stiletta. He grabs both pistols and kicks the door in only to find out that it is now and respectable restaurant. Jonah is fairly confused until he recognizes one of the workers as the referee from the fight. Jonah drags him over to a console with a ton of buttons and Jonah mashes the correct button that turns the restaurant back into the Kit Kat Klub, sliding back a wall to reveal the huge arena. Jonah demands to know where Stiletta is and the referee tells him that Stiletta is probably with Austin and Ingalls, owners of the Klub, and part of the Combine, the group that killed Batman.

That allows us to quickly transition to a meeting of the Combine that is just breaking up. Two men, we can assume Austin and Ingalls, are leaving the building and approach their limo. When they get in they find their limo driver naked and tied up in the back seat and Jonah Hex in the driver's seat. Jonah pulls out a pistol, demanding to know where Stiletta is. One of the men pushes a button that opens up a compartment holding a pistol. The man grabs it and Jonah plugs him square between the eyes. Jonah tromps the gas and takes off in the limo and a bodyguard orders several thugs on cycles to give chase.

Back at the slave camp we see a strange shadowy figure floating within a large building full of video screens. The figure speaks of how slowly the process is going but at least things are moving along, thanks to his Dogs of War. When the light shines on the figure, it appears to be an alien!

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah: Looks to be three. One shot and two burned alive.
Running Total: 477 (428 past, 49 future)
Jonah's Injuries: Beat up and knocked out.
Timeline: Immediately after last issue so not even a day passes during this issue.

Wow. I think right about here is where I started losing interest in this book. Yup, this is the book that jumped the shark for me. I can take Jonah in the future with some of the sci-fi stuff, but the space ships, aliens, and everything else thrown in here, was just too much. Of course, we only have about five more issues left.

The search for Stiletta and the Combine/Conglomerate is a storyline that interests me and I wish we could have stuck along those lines. Texeira's work is still good, but the inking and coloring kind of muddy everything up. Also, Hex was never printed on white Mondo paper so it really suffers from the coloring process.

It's gonna be hard to get through these next issues. I'll just be honest with ya. But I think it will be kind of like a band-aid, I should just rip it off and get the pain over with.

Next Issue: Jonah Hex vs. Stiletta in a fight to the death!!!

Tubby Tuesday #2

2010-08-24T11:46:00.000-05:00

Cosplay Tubby....

has trust issues regarding relationships.

The Many Phases of Jonah Hex - The Ongoing Hex.

2010-08-13T06:07:00.002-05:00

Who or what is the Ongoing Hex? Why, it's Jonah Hex with continuity, of course. The early days of Hex, back in the Weird Western Tales, was a character that showed up, shot and got shot, and left town. When Michael Fleisher took the writing chores in WWT #22, the first thing he did was give us Quentin Turnbull, a past for Jonah Hex, and continuity. WWT 22-24 are more of less a three issue story arc, but after that we have to wait until WWT 29-30 for another two parter.

For the rest of Jonah's run in WWT and on into his own book, we would get a "done in one" followed by a two or three parter. Once in awhile a character would return (Bigfoot, Joanna Mosby, The Chameleon) but the stories and the arc's could be read in almost any order. I could read the Bigfoot stories before or after Jonah being framed for murder. About the only ongoing continuity was Quentin Turnbull and that at times was haphazard.

Everything changed with issue #42. There we were introduced to JD Hart and were reintroduced to Mei Ling. From that point on, each issue followed the next, each issue had a reference to the prior one, and each issue built on the ongoing life of Jonah Hex (except for a few obvious tales that appeared to have been put in for deadline reasons. #73 and a few others come to mind.) What did this do to our scar-faced bounty-hunter?

It made him more human. Jonah Hex went from being a monster with no past to a man with a tortured past to finally a man with his life being ongoing torture. Rather than seeing him ride into town, shrug off everything that was thrown at him and ride off, we got to see a man with a heart, a conflicted heart to be sure, but a heart nonetheless. He became a man that could grow weary of being hounded by Turnbull, tortured by Papagayo, and put upon by women. He would risk his life for his wife and son, battle the memories of his family, and face his own demons of alcoholism.

Every few issues it would seem like things would be wrapped up, but we didn't need a cliffhanger. We knew that there were a lot of things bubbling beneath the surface of Jonah Hex and his supporting cast and something was going to boil over and we wanted to be there. Then Michael Fleisher started doing something odd. He started wrapping up a story arc on the middle of the issue (#71) and started up another in the same issue!

At first that was pretty jarring. We had become conditioned to understand when the end of a story would be coming and all of a sudden we were finished at page 10. Kinda of like your Grandpa telling you a bedtime story and it ends after 15 minutes. You feel tricked but then you realize that you have time for him to start another one before the lights go out. This was a great way to keep the saga of Jonah Hex rolling.

Sadly, even though Michael Fleisher could keep the action going, he never took the time to figure out how long each issue actually lasted. Everything from issue 42-92 was pretty much crammed into 1875 (if you take the dates they give you). However, through meticulous tracking we now know that issue #42 was in 1874 and #92 ended in August of 1878.

Fifty issues to chronicle four years of a man's life and it was probably the best fifty issues of Jonah Hex there was to date.

We Interrupt This Blog.... #21

2010-08-12T06:07:00.001-05:00

... to inform you to do your ankle exercises.

Otherwise it could be Ankles Away (as they say in the Navy)

Hex #12 "Siege of the Terminators"

2010-08-11T12:46:00.001-05:00

Hex #12
"Siege of the Terminators"

Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon, art and cover

Plummeting to their deaths from last issue, Batman and Jonah Hex are sure to be street pizza since the flight capability of Batman's suit was destroyed by Jonah's knife throw. However, Batman isn't a one trick pony and unleashes his Bat-rope, snagging a flagpole as they fall past. Jonah manages to shinny up the rope to the flagpole and then over to the building. Batman follows suit and just before he reaches the flagpole, the pole starts to snap.

Jonah quickly undoes the chains on his boots and throws one end to Batman and then pulls Batman to safety. Batman states that they need to talk a few things over.

Meanwhile, we are privy to a discussion amongst the folks that own the giant robots and flew Jonah in from Seattle to New York in order to take care of Batman. They are discussing their chances of successfully getting the robots armed and if they can't bribe Batman, maybe Jonah Hex will kill him.

We cut back to Batman's giant flying Bat-plane where Batman has taken the descriptions given by Jonah, fed them into his computer and realizes that these guys work for the Combine. Hex asks about Stiletta but Batman says he has no idea. He explains that these two guys that have conned Jonah run the Kit Kat Klub on the old West side.

Batman gives Jonah directions to club and drops him off near his motorcycle. He also gives Jonah a warning, saying that Batman doesn't like guns or the people that use him, so Jonah had better find Stiletta and get out of town. Jonah says Batman better not push his luck with Jonah, where he comes from they string up hombres with masks. Batman replies "You mean Seattle?" and flies off. Watching the Bat-plane leave Hex replies "Uh-uh. Ah mean 1875."

So, we go see what is transpiring in the Kit Kat Klub and we fight a fight ring surrounded by a huge crowd. In the ring is the Blonde Spitfire going up against Bertha (weighing in at 267 pounds). Bertha punches the ringmaster and throws knives at the Spitfire (Stiletta). Stiletta dodges the knives and then pulls a whip, smacking Bertha in the face. Bertha charges her and the tussle continues on.

Elsewhere, there is a blind man working his way down an alley when he is set upon by a gang of thugs, however, Batman suddenly swoops in, beats the living tar out of the thugs and the starts questioning the blind man, who is one of Batman's informants. The blind man, Mole, explains that the Combine has flown in Jonah Hex to kill Batman and they're also trying to sucker the city council to accepting the Terminator robots as well as getting Batman to relax the firearms restrictions so they can arm the Terminators with lasers.

Back at the Kit Kat Klub, the fight continues until Stiletta finally knocks down Bertha, grabs a huge knife and buries it in the middle of Bertha's back, killing her. Just then Jonah busts into the club and attempts to get Stiletta out of the ring, but he is beaten senseless by the club bouncers and tossed into a dumpster.

In the Combine's HQ, they receive a giftbox but when they open it, several bats fly out and they find a note from Batman warning them about activating the Terminators.

That evening, Batman is heading back to his hideout but there is a large explosion at a local fuel depot and he flies in to put out the flames.

During this time, several hearses enter a warehouse owned by the Combine and start unloading the huge lasers that the Combine wants to put into the Terminators. Turns out that the Combine started the depot fire to keep Batman busy and when they get the lasers in place, they unleash three Terminators into downtown Manhattan.

Batman gets the fire out and then notices the problems in Manhattan. The cops are trying to fight the giant robots but to no avail and Batman has a slight problem, he has no firepower on the Bat-plane so he can do little more than swoop around and be an irritant.

Jonah Hex eventually comes to in the dumpster and sees the robots nearby, fighting Batman. Jonah contemplates taking off to find Stiletta again, but decides to go help Batman. However, after getting on his motorcycle and arriving on the scene, Jonah learns just how huge the robots are and on top of that, they are bulletproof.

So what is a cowboy to do? Take off between some skyscrapers, drag dynamite off his cycle, rig it up to two buildings and then lure a robot to follow him and hit the tripwire, which drops both buildings onto the robot. Another robot has waded into the river and is shooting at Batman with those dreaded lasers. As the robot walks under a bridge, Batman uses his electromagnet to pull four bolts out of the bridge and drop the entire thing on the robot (personally, I would hate to drive on a bridge being held together by four bolts that had no nuts on them!)

The last robot is destroying a housing complex and Batman swerves the Bat-plane into an antenna on a power plant, slicing it off and into the robot, electrocuting the robot and causing it to explode. The Bat-plane has lost a wing and crashes into the river......

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Jonah: 0
Running Total: 474 (428 past, 46 future)
Jonah's Injuries: Beaten unconscious
Timeline: Seems like the sun came up around here somewhere, everything is fairly murky on this one so let's add one more day. Day 17 of the future.

Wow, this one almost hurts to reread. I seem to remember enjoying it back in '86, but now it just falls there and lies on the ground twitching. Jonah Hex against giant robots? Nope, it doesn't work. Toss in a few pop culture references ("Ain't that nightmare 2047", "The Batman's over 21") and this book becomes less about Jonah and more about the supporting characters and their time. It just doesn't work at all. Sadly, I feel that this book was the start of the downfall of Hex because, believe me, things get even weirder the farther along we go.

Next Issue: We learn the fate of Stanley Harris and get to meet the DOGS OF WAR!!!

Tubby Tuesday #1

2010-08-10T09:03:00.000-05:00

Tubby

gets to answer the eternal questions

from Little Lulu: Letters to Santa 2005

House Ads #31

2010-08-06T06:07:00.000-05:00

Superman is the best thing about comics in 1950. He's in 3 GREAT MAGAZINES!!! All thanks to 4 doctors on the DC editorial advisory board.

Pitchman-A-Go-Go #86

2010-08-05T06:07:00.001-05:00

I got to digging around in some old boxes of comics and dug out a Dale Evans from 1950. Where or how I got this comic is a mystery to me (I usually remember where I pick stuff up) and this one, #12, is a treasure trove of house ads, product ads, and public service announcements, so we'll be mining this little ditty for all it's worth.

Yup, 10 cents got you a ring and a jar cap for mom. It's a win-win for the whole family!