House Ads #4 Brave & Bold Hullabaloo

This is one Brave & Bold I've never seen reprinted. Starman and Black Canary up against the Mist. I'd be all over that like white on rice. Ya know what? I'd like to see a series called something like B&B Redux. They get modern day writers & artists and all they get to know are the heroes and the villain. Without any prior knowledge of the original story, they write a modern-day version of the team-up.

Then DC publishes them both in one issue for comparison.


THAT would be my definition of HULLABALOO!!!

We Interrupt This Blog ......#6

... To teach you about the flag and how Hawaii obviously snuck into the Union a year early. Sneaky Coconut-eaters!

Pitchman-A-Go-Go #34

Sometimes you get a whole page of ads, tiny ads that are just text, 3 dozen on a page. This was in an old partial copy of Nick Fury and his howling commandos and it really caught my eye.

"Super-intelligent bats" I want to see THAT in Final Crisis.

Weekly Wonderous Moment in Comics #27

Do I even HAVE to say anything with this one?

House Ads #3 Lois Lane Giant

These compilation books were fun to buy, you were able to pick up stories that you didn't get the first time when they were printed about 8 years prior.

They also tried to get some sort of theme going. This one is all about Lois battling other women that Superman would be attracted to, ya know the kind of girls I'm talking about. Redheads, mermaids, dead Egyptian chicks, his COUSIN!?!?!

Superman is from Arkansas!?!?!

One Flu over the cuckoo's nest

Well what the heck. I thought I would try this. I picked it up from Dustbury, the premier blogger of note in Oklahoma City

We Interrupt This Blog... #5

..to allow Jack Kirby to school you on weapons. Everyone knows the best weapons are Kirby Weapons!

From The Losers #155 1975

Jonah Hex #51 "The Comforter"

Jonah Hex #51 August 1981
"The Comforter!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

Jonah is wanting to head into town but Mei Ling is reminding him that the baby is due at any time and she is wanting him to stay home. Jonah is having the same problem I have, being alone when I'm trying to buy a surprise for my wife. Take this for example. My wife saw a ring she wanted at the store and hinted that she wanted it. While she was wandering around the mall I managed to sneak back into the store and buy the ring. I had the clerk hold it for me because I KNEW that my wife would want to swing back by, look at the ring and hint once again that she would like it. If the ring was gone, then she would demand that I empty my pockets to prove that I didn't have it. I also told the clerk to lie about me coming back in.

Sure enough, my wife wanted to look at the ring again and when it was gone she started asking if they could get another one in. The clerk waiting on us was different than the one I dealt with and she kept looking at me really weird. She finally said "A gentleman purchased the ring earlier and had it placed on hold. Let me look at the number and see if we can order another one." She brings the ring out and it HAS MY NAME ON IT! My Lovely Wife is looking at something else and I'm trying to shoo the clerk away when suddenly, out of nowhere, the original clerk snatches it out of her hands and elbows her aside. Lovely Wife turns around and the clerk who helped me says, "I'm terribly sorry, but the gentleman who put the ring on hold had us deliver it not 5 minutes ago and the paperwork won't be back with the courier for about another 2 hours so there is no way for us to determine if we can order another one of those rings."

Lovely Wife glared at me as if something was up, looked at the clerk and totally bought that lying man's story.

Wait, this is supposed to be about Jonah. Okay, I'm back on track. Jonah is trying to get into town to purchase a comforter for Ling and the baby and he finally gets his way. Meanwhile in town, a horrible hardcase shows up and starts terrorizing the local bar, saying that he's waiting for Hex in order to kill the scar-faced former bounty hunter. A bunch of kids gather at the door of the saloon to see the ruckus and one young fella, Petey, starts laughing at the idea of Hex being outgunned by this slimeball. Needless to say, said slimeball don't cotton to being ridiculed.

Jonah arrives in town and picks up the comforter at the general store and the sheriff walks in, warning him about the dirtbag at the saloon. Jonah says that he is heading home and won't have any of it. When he steps out of the store, the weasel is standing there, calling Jonah out. Hex tells him that he isn't carrying and the trashbag tosses Jonah one of his own. Hex pitches the gun to the ground and walks away, the weaselly-slimeball-dirtbag calling him a coward and the townspeople aghast that Jonah has turned tail.

Jonah spend the next hour at a cafe, not eating the meal he ordered and having a flashback.

April, 1848. Woodson Hex takes his son to the fair. Woodson, being the drunken bastard that he is, wants Jonah to enter a boy-fighting contest. 25 cent entry, $10 prize for going three rounds. Jonah says that he just turned 10 and the other kid looks a lot older. Woodson asks if he has raised a coward and Jonah gets into the ring.

At the sound of the bell, Jonah lunges for the other kid but gets the living snot beat out of himself in the first round. Woodson goads Jonah back out for the second round, even though Jonah is begging for it to stop. At the start of the second round, Jonah gets a quick one to the side of the head, an uppercut and then a ten count as he lays there, bloody, dazed and battered. Woodson drags Jonah from the ring and starts slapping him and calling him a coward. A worthless coward.

.....
Hex looks at the clock in the cafe and realizes he better be getting on home. Petey meets him in the street and asks if it's true that Jonah is a coward. Petey is beaten up and just then the weasel shows up. Jonah asks Petey if this is the guy that gave him the black eye. Petey says that it is and Jonah swiftly drops the weasel with three hard punches.

Hex turns and starts walking away but the weasel draws and shoots Jonah as he is picking up the dropped comforter. Jonah goes down and Petey sprints for Jonah's horse. With the weasel standing over Hex, ready to finish the job, Hex throws the comforter into his face and Petey tosses Hex his rifle. When the weasel pulls the comforter down, he's staring down the barrel. And, of course, it's the last thing he ever saw.

Jonah gathers up his stuff and rides back home. The doc and his wife are there and Jason Woodson Hex is snuggled in bed with his mom. Jonah apologizes for not being there and Mei Ling says that it doesn't matter. Jonah gives her the comforter and she wraps Jason in it. Jonah picks up his boy and asks if he has anything to say to his paw. Jason replies...

Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - one.
Running Total - 329
Jonah's Injuries - Shot in left shoulder
Timeline - A few months since last issue. The snow is gone and everything around the farm is green. So it must now be 1876. Right? I'm sticking with that. Now, the flashback was in 1848 and Jonah had just turned 10. With his birthday in November, that means that he turned 10 in 1847 so he must have been born in 1837, not in 1838. So THAT means that last issue, when Jonah turned 37, it was 1874, not 75, so this story does take place in 1875.

I've read that when folks are trying to determine things like timeline and what not, they use a date that was stated most of the time and work other dates around that, determining that references to incorrect dates were just mistakes. Jonah's dates have always been 1838 - 1904, but almost all of his childhood flashbacks are when he 'just turned 10' and it's in the spring. Do we go with the bulk of flashback references or the given birth year? Or do we do what my wife suggests "It's a comic book. Let it go. Or get off your butt and find the guy that wrote these and see what HE says."?

Anyway, a nice story with a flashback to abusive Woodson. It kinda explains why Jonah was such a sadistic bastard towards Blackie and Mange and why he let the dogs eat the circus owner in Jonah Hex #1 Vol 2. My only complaint is that Pappy Hex looks different every time we see him. And we have seen him a lot. It's also a short story because of a Bat Lash backup feature.

Next Issue: kidnapping, sucker-punching, wife-slapping and it all ends with Jonah getting blown all to hell.

Pitchman-A-Go-Go #33

"even if you can't tell a guitar pick from a shovel"?

"Hey, honey? I think I discovered why it took me so long to plant those crape mertyls a couple of weeks ago! Yeah, I was using a guitar pick!"On the plus side, I have great pictures of Chet Atkins in my scrapbook.

Weekly Wonderous Moment in Comics #26

Ahhh, Lois Lane, Lana Lang, & Clark Kent are traveling on an "Ultra-modern airplane.. equipped with every advanced safety device." The airplane can automatically put out fires, serve snacks, give you your paper.


Yes, everything is push button on an ultra modern airplane. And of course, they explain everything to you. But what if you found an unmarked button right next to your seat? What does it do?"Incurable Curiosity?" I would have thought the button would turn on the light, lay my seat back, call the stewardess, deliver my copies of Jonah Hex to me, rewrite Final Crisis. Something that any button would do. I don't see where there is "Incurable curiosity." But then again, I didn't expect it to....shoot an entire friggin row clean outta the airplane. But that's the English for ya. Needless to say "Ultra-Modern Airlines" went bankrupt due to lawsuits.

House Ads #2 Brave & Bold

Brave and Bold with Batman and Plastic Man. I actually HAVE this book.
I bought it in Joliet Illinois at Tops department store. They had a comic book vending machine!
Anyway, the various fonts literally slap you in the face and get you to pick up this book. Again, they're asking questions which seems to be the way DC got you to buy teh book to learn the answers.

Pitchman-A-Go-Go #32

Okay, Sally bellyached about not being able to sell GRIT! so this offer is open to all kids. I know that she can't wait to decorate her scrapbook (since her husband thew a fit over all those pictures of Hal Jordan's buttocks in her den).

Weekly Wonderous Moment in Comics #25

The 4th wall, or more specifically, breaking the 4th wall, has always intrigued me. Sometimes it can be cheesy, sometimes it can get an EPIC FAIL!, but when it works, it works wonderfully. Observe this scene from Green Lantern #39, 1965. Black Hand decides his plan is soooo great that he has to tell us about it.

cheesy

It's the 60's so it has to be cheesy. By the way, this is the only Green Lantern book that I have ever owned.

From Whither Comest Thou Moniker?

Tons of people have been asking me "Dwayne, what does 'the canoe guy' mean? Isn't that a strange, and even inappropriate (not to mention disquieting) label to slap upon yourself? It has nothing to do with comics or Jonah Hex. Please, pray tell, from whither comest thou moniker?"

It's a long story that can be understood by visiting my other blog that I had long before this one. Everything you need to know is here, just read from the bottom up.

Now ya know.

House Ads #1 Enemy Ace

House ads nowadays don't have all the shock and pizazz as those from days gone by. Oh, ya need an example? How about this one...

1965, Enemy Ace's second appearance

The reader actually FORCES Enemy Ace to kill! I LOVE how this ad is actually trying to get kids to stop reading this book. Reverse psychology works every time. Now, just remember, I don't want anybody buying me the new Jonah Hex action figure.

We Interrupt This Blog... #4

..to tell you all about...Please note that Mass. has been leading the way since 1869. Just remember, if ya throw trash in the water, you're the one that needs to dig it out. It also makes me wonder what kind of boring town these kids live in where throwing trash in the river is considered fun?

Jonah Hex #50 "The Hunter!"

Jonah Hex #50 July 1981
"The Hunter!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers, Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

The snow is very deep and Jonah is heading out to hunt some deer. Mei Ling follows him out, wondering how long he'll be gone. Jonah says he doesn't rightly know, but he has to get food so his son will grow up big & strong. Mei Ling asks "What if it's a girl?" to which Jonah replies that they would hang onto her until they got tired of her and then throw her down a well. Jonah mounts up and tells Mei Ling to take it easy and he'll be home, luckily before tomorrow, but before tomorrow night at the latest.

As Jonah rides off, Ling hopes inwardly that Jonah returns before tomorrow. Today is November 1st, Jonah's birthday and she is working on a surprise for him. Jonah has told Ling about SOME of his childhood and she wants the day to be a little bit special.

Out in the woods, Jonah spots a deer fairly early, but being upwind, he isn't able to get a good shot before the buck bolts. Jonah mearly wounds him and has to take off tracking the wounded beast. Tying up his horse, Jonah sets off through the snow on foot.

Shortly thereafter, Jonah finds the deer, dead, in a small meadow and he kneels by the animal and starts to dress it (I'm talking about cutting it up, not putting a parka on the dang thing!). But this is Jonah Hex we're discussing here and any run of good luck has to be countered with and unequal and opposite reaction of bad luck. This time, it's several Crow who decide to take advantage of Jonah's back being turned. Jonah, hears them and as he is turning with his rifle, he catches and arrow in the left shoulder and opens fire on the charging Indians.

He drops two of them before his rifle jams and he has to resort to using it as a club-upside-the-head on one Indian. Another jumps him from behind and Jonah is able to toss the brave over his shoulder so that the Indian's skull smashes on an exposed boulder. Jonah turns to see one Indian remaining, he bends over to pick up a tomahawk and he charges the Indian.

The Indian suddenly screams and drops it's blanket to reveal...

Emmy Lou Hartley of the Hartley Party, a group of settlers that was traveling through the area about 3-4 years ago. The wagon train was attacked by Crows and everyone was killed. Emmy corrects Jonah in that three women survived; herself, her sister, and her cousin. Emmy's sister turned a rifle on herself rather than be taken prisoner and the cousin was murdered for refusing to become a bride to a Crow warrior. Emmy did what she had to in order to survive.

For almost 4 years, she labored as the wife of Eagle Who Stands and just three days ago she saw a chance to escape. The four Indians that Jonah killed were a party sent to bring her back. Jonah says that he will be happy to get her back to civilization, but he has to finish prepping the deer and the snow is starting to fall.

Once they get back to Jonah's horse, he has Emmy Lou ride while he leads the horse. The trail is drifting with snow and Jonah doesn't want to take any chance getting lost. Remember what I said about bad luck? Well, it shows up again in spades. A large snow owl startles the horse who rears up and hits Jonah in the head with a hoof. Amazingly, Jonah stays conscious, but Emmy Lou panics and keeps pulling back on the reins. The horse continues to buck and then the horse and Emmy fall off the nearby cliff. Emmy jumps and manages to grab a small tree in the cliff face, but Jonah is unable to reach her.

He quickly unwraps his scarf and Emmy is able to grab onto that. Jonah starts pulling her up and grabs her hand just as the scarf snaps in two. Jonah hoists Emmy Lou up on solid ground and the storm has intensified. Jonah decides that they need to take shelter in a cave. Jonah and Emmy start to hunker down in the cave to wait out the storm when... remember what I said about bad luck? Not only does it come back in spades, but it has all the trump as well because a bear, a large, mean, fighting grizzly comes out of the darkness.

Jonah's rifle is still jammed, so he manages to bust it across the chops of the bear. The bear, returns the favor. Jonah grabs Emmy's blanket, wraps it around his left forearm, and armed with only his knife, wades back into battle against the bear. Shoving the blanket into the bears' mouth, and stabbing the bear repeatedly, Jonah is finally able to emerge victorious. However, he is ripped to shreds and Emmy quickly runs over to take care of his wounds when...

It's pretty clear that Jonah put the moves on her, but he comes to his senses and starts carving up the bear to replace the lost deer meat. The storm lets up and Jonah & Emmy head out for the McCabe ranch where Emmy can stay with the McCabes. Emmy is wanting to know what's wrong and if she did something wrong, but Jonah gruffly refuses to talk about it (and of course he doesn't tell her that he's married).

When they finally get to the McCabe ranch there are some quick explanations about Emmy, the bear, the missing gear and Jonah needing to head out. Emmy asks if she'll see Jonah again and Mr. McCabe laughingly says not if Jonah's wife has anything to say about it. Emmy is stunned and Jonah heads home.

Once Jonah gets home, Mei Ling is full of questions about Jonah's injuries, why he's riding a different horse.. Jonah explains about the bear and how it's wrapped up in that blanket. Mei Ling points out that it is a woman's shawl, Jonah explains that it belongs to Mrs. McCabe. Mei Ling says that it looks Indian and Jonah mildly blows up, saying that he doesn't want to have a fight. Ling apologizes and escorts Jonah into the cabin for his surprise.

Mei Ling is going to fix him a bear steak and then shows Jonah his birthday cake. Jonah is 37 and it's about time he got a cake. They embrace, confess their love for each other and we're left with a parting shot of the Hex farm in the snow.

Statistics for this Issue

Men killed by Jonah - I'm not sure here. 2 Indians were shot, one slmmed into a rock and one smached with a rifle. I'm not so sure that the rifle smacking would have been fatal, so I'm going with 3 Indians
Running Total - 328

Timeline - Wow, where do I begin? It's been stated several times that Jonah was born in 1838. Now we have a date, November 1st. If he's 37, then this story falls at the end of 1875. Like almost a ton of other stories. We know that Jonah and Mei Ling have been married long enough to start the farm and harvest corn, so they have been married at least since March or April. That leaves very little time for a whole ton of non-Mei Ling adventures to take place.

Regarding what happens AFTER this story, we have 42 more issues that have a well developed continuity (with the exception of probably 6 issues that have no reference to Mei Ling or Emmy Lou) until the unthinkable happens and Jonah disappears in 1875. (?!) I had postulated in other forums that the dates after this story were all wrong and that Jonah probably vanished in 1878 but I've been rethinking that.

From what I understand about dating historical occurances (which is very little) one must go with the bulk of the evidence. If a majority of people say that something happened on a particular date, then the one reference that counters that is considered suspect. This is the position that Mei Ling's reference to Jonah's 37th birthday falls. Susan Hilliwig has suggested that Mei Ling was wrong, she got Jonah's age wrong.

But trying to pry this into what we already know about the Jonah Hex timeline, just makes my head explode. We can't really be placing this one as early as 1872 because we then run into several problems regarding the dates of Quentin Turnbull and El Papagayo. I just don't know what to do. It would be easier to go with 1875 and say that the other texts are wrong.

Now about the story. I really enjoyed this tale. It gave us a new ongoing character, more tension in the Hex household but also we see more of Mei Ling's tenderness. She's pregnant and is wanting to help sooth Jonah's tortured childhood. I also enjoy Westerns that take place in the snow, probably because there are so few of them.

On a final note, my Lovely Wife recently asked (out of the blue) "Was Jonah ever unfaithful with Emmy Lou?"

My jaw hung open. "Why do you ask that?"

"Well, I was bored and read that issue you had laying around. Did he?"

I gave her a nickel explanation of what happens next, all of you, will have to wait and see what unfolds.

Next Issue: Jonah gets called a coward, Woodson slaps his son around, and a major turning point in the life of Mei Ling.

Pitchman-A-Go-Go #31

Ya say that prices got ya down? You're needing some extra folding green to get ya through the month? Then you need a paper route! I know that the Intra-web (now WITH tubes) has been cutting into newspaper sales, but you need to go with a national paper. You need to sell a paper to pizzazz, one with moxie, a paper with GRIT!

Sell GRIT and you can buy four more gallons of gas a month. That's an extra 20 miles in your Hummer! That should get you to the Indian Casino so you can score some REAL coin!

offer only valid for boys

Weekly Wonderous Moment in Comics #24

This weekly wonderous moment in comics is actually from the letters page of Sgt Rock. Here is the entire page:
But I draw your attention to the last letter. Yeah, the one talking about RAGMAN!

oops

Superman/Batman #16 "Absolute Power"

Superman/Batman #16 Feb 2005
"Absolute Power. Chapter 3: When Time Goes Asunder..."
Jeph Loeb, story - Carlos Pacheo & Jesus Merino, art & cover

I know this is not chronological but I like it and wanted to have something short and sweet, so let's take a peek at a guest appearance of the scar-faced bounty hunter.

A little background on this 'guest appearance'. Batman & Superman (of course) have ended up being catapulted through various earths after a conflict with Darkseid. They end up on a modern day earth of Kamandi (not a future earth, but modern day Metropolis) and they phase into modern day Gotham City. On the steps of Gotham Central Precinct 13, Batman is seriously wounded and Superman is holding off the local law enforcement which consists of.. El Diablo, Bat Lash, Tomahawk, someone in a red shirt, and Madame .44 (who they call Cinnamon. It's a parallel earth, they can do what they want.)

Rather than trying to explain what happens, I'll just show ya and make some comments after each page:



Superman gets hacked off and decides to just light everyone up (as he has been doing through this arc)Nice to see the striped hatband on Jonah. Jonah ends up pumping 8 bullets into Supes has the intended effect. Of course, you don't take Superman and forget about...
The knife through the hand would make me say a whole lot more than GAH. But I'm not the goddamned Batman, now, am I? I also enjoy the how Jonah is trying to snap the goddamned neck of Batman.The scene ends with Batman getting sliced and Supes taking a final fatal bullet to the head. Of course, in this story, when either one of them dies, they phase to another earth.

All told, a good story arc that I think is in trade and a very nice appearance of Jonah Hex. I would have preferred that he was written a little more along the lines of how Fleisher wrote him in regards to how they spelled his text. But that's a minor quibble. I would like to see these artists do an issue of the current series.

Anyway, have a nice Fourth and next week we'll take a look at the landmark 50th issue of Jonah Hex. It's the pivot point where we can finally start dating almost every Hex book.

Correction: S&B fight Darkseid ina prior story arc. Absolute Power is about what happens when the past is changed and Kal-El and Bruce Wayne are raised by super-villains.