Hex #14 "Gladiator"

Hex #14 Oct 1986
"Gladiator"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon, art and cover

Hex is in a high speed chase through the streets of New York, blindly pursued by the Combine while he attempts to locate Stiletta, kidnapped by the Combine and forced into recreational fighting under the name The Blonde Spitfire. Jonah does the best he can, driving through the streets and shooting out the driver's window. Sadly, in the future almost everything is heavily armored and the bullets just bounce off. In the back of the limo Hex has stolen is the tied up chauffeur, a dead member of the Combine, and another member of the Combine, bruised but still alive.

Hex demands to know if the limo has anything that will stop his pursuers and the Combine member directs him to the tailfin torpedoes. Jonah mashes the button and a quickly launched torpedo explodes on a Combine thug astride a hover-bike. Hex demands the whereabouts of Stiletta and with a pistol pressed against his forehead, the Combine member spills forth with all the info Hex needs. Hex makes a hard right down an alley and then quickly bails out of the limo. The Combine member sees that the alley is a deadend and dives into the driver's seat, trying to stop the limo. He slams on the brakes and the rocketing limo stops just inches from the brick wall at the end of the alley. However, the Combine still thinks Hex is in the limo and launches a torpedo of their own, blowing up the limo, sans Hex.

Elsewhere in the city, we spy on Stiletta in a fierce battle with a battle-bot. Three men; Drago, the Doc, and a short henchman, are discussing an implant that will be placed within Stiletta. Even though she is undefeated in 14 bouts, the implant, highly illegal, will double her speed and triple her striking power. The Doc warns that there could be unforeseen side effects. Drago is willing to take the chance since he plans on using it only if she starts losing. The Doc checks Stiletta and administers another dose of Mind control shots but he also warns that since Stiletta is extremely strong willed and shots of this potency could have an irreversible effect on her mind.

But, enough about the Combine, let's look in on the Conglomerate and their heavily fortified Soames processing plant. During a heavy downpour a lone guard sees something advancing through the rain. He opens fire and the Centurion, even though there is little sunlight, manages to deliver a huge force blast. With the alarm sounded, a huge dome starts to enclose the processing plant. Despite the best efforts of the Viking, the Manta Ray and the Centurion, the dome is undamaged.

That is when Stanley Harris steps forward, peels off his gold gloves and touches the dome. Seems that Harris now has a horrible chronal energy residing in his hands and anything that he touches ages rapidly (thus the gold gloves to prevent unwanted horrors). In the space of a few minutes the entire dome, ages, cracks and collapses. Then all hell breaks loose.

The Conglomerate unleashes a spider tank that blasts the Ninja (aka Sun Hawk) but the Viking runs forward and tries to chop off a leg of the spider tank, to no avail. Then he and Harris start climbing the legs while Manta flies upward and covers the windshield of the tank. The Viking makes it to a joint on the leg and lops it off, Harris plants an explosive onto the tank and the Centurion punches it toward a hillside where it explodes into pieces.

Back in New York, we visit in on a man washing and polishing and beautiful hovercar. Jonah Hex drops from above and kicks the ever-loving crap outta him.

Back to Drago and Co. Drago is saying that they need to get Stiletta to Atlanta for her next fight when the short henchman suddenly sees their car flying straight for the window of their building. Jonah Slams the hovo through the window as everyone scatters (except Stiletta, who stands like a statue, awaiting orders). Drago pulls out a machine gun and Jonah pops from the hovo and plants one between Drago's eyes. The henchman and the doc head for the door, the henchman shouting "Spitfire! KILL HIM!"

Jonah tries to reason with Stiletta as she draws a knife, but Hex sees the glazed look in her eyes and knows he is on trouble. The battle commences, with Stiletta attempting to stab Jonah repeatedly. Hex lands a haymaker square on her jaw but she doesn't even flinch. She launches a kick to Hex's head and then presses a button on her wrist cuff, launching darts from her shoulderpad. Jonah is pinned to the wall and ass he fights to free himself, Stiletta grabs a whip, ensnares Jonah's legs and then throws him out the window to the street far below.

Stiletta walks over to the window to view the final fate of Jonah Hex, but she is greated but both of Hex's boots to her head. Jonah has caught himself on a narrow ledge and then jumps back into the room and pummels Stiletta into submission.

Remember that huge prison work camp 3,000 miles away? Well, we go back there to check in on the Road Reapers that were taken as slaves to work there. The Road Reaper is thinking about how every day the Dogs of War take off and every day they come back with more slaves, putting glowing electro-cuffs on the slaves. Just then the Road Reapers own cuffs flicker and go dark. Just then a guard droid appears but without the electro-cuffs working, the Road Reaper is invisible to the droid. The Reaper then hotfoots it out of the camp and on to freedom.

Later (I'm standing by this because that is what the caption said) Jonah is driving his bike with Stiletta tied up on the back. She slowly awakens and starts demanding to know where she is and why she is wearing that outfit. Jonah pulls the bike over, determines that Stiletta is in her right mind and then he cuts her free. They continue on their way, with Hex bringing Stiletta up to date and everything that has happened since her kidnapping. they stop at a place called the Atomic Diner and Stiletta goes into the ladies room to change clothes.

Hex mosies inside and overhears the Road Reaper talking about being captured and held a slave. He relates the rumor that the brains of the operation is an alien that has actually traveled here from another time. At that point Jonah drops his tray of food, and mentally repeats "Came here from another time?"

Back at the compound, the aforementioned time traveling alien is deep in self contemplation. He ponders on the growing number of slaves but that the work is going too slowly. He had hoped to only enslave the dregs of society, in order not to disrupt the future, but he foresees that he will have to start kidnapping innocents in order to ensure his glorious dream of salvation.

Statistics for This Issue

Men killed by Jonah - 1, Drago bought the farm
Running Total: 478 (428 past, 50 future)
Jonah's Injuries - beaten up and thrown out a window by Stiletta.
Timeline - Whew! I have no idea how many days this one stretches across. The first part of the book appears to take place all in the same day, but once the Road Reaper escapes from the compound, he manages to travel 3,000 miles in a few hours?!?!?! It IS conceivable that he caught a flight, but he's a ROAD REAPER who has been a slave. I doubt that he has a ready supply of cash on hand. But Jonah and Stiletta only travel for what appears to be a few hours before encountering the Road Reaper. Ah, well, let's just ignore that whole "instant travel across country for the sake of the story" thing.

Well, we have Jonah Hex and Stiletta reunited, but there is that unknown side-effects thing that could cause problems. We learn a few more teasers about the Dogs of War who consist of a Roman Centurion that uses sunlight to issue force blasts from his hands, a flying Manta Ray that has paralyzing eye beams, a huge viking with a massive axe, a Ninja that can summon forth an inner demon, and Stanley Harris who has someone obtains chronal powers in his hands. The alien, while starting out enslaving only bad people now may have to enslave good people (is that worse? I thought enslaving anyone would be equally bad.) We also get very short glimpses into the Combine/Conglomerate/Other bad entity starting with the letter C.

All in all, the action kept coming and this story was a lot like the books near the end of Jonah Hex, where we got a page or two of everyone involved, just to keep the story rolling. Not sure if that is good or bad. It just is an observation.

Running out of time, so scans will be posted for this issue later tonight. Until then just imagine how glorious it all looks.

Next Issue: The Chain-Saw Killer returns with a new blade, the history of the mysterious alien and the Xxggs, the origin of the Dogs of War, Stiletta suffers adverse side-effects, and Jonah faces the one foe he cannot overcome... the 'artwork' of Keith Giffen. (the things I do for you guys! sheesh!)

Hex #13 "The Dogs of War"

Hex #13 Sept 1986
"The Dogs of War"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon, art - Denys Cowan and Rick Magyar

Batman's Bat-plane has just taken a header into the river and the Terminators are destroyed, leaving Jonah Hex on the riverbank about to jump in to rescue Batman. Hex dives in to the murky river and locates the Bat-plane but finds no evidence of Batman's body. He is suddenly attacked by two scuba-diving thugs, knocked unconscious and dragged away underwater.

Three thousand miles away (presumably outside Seattle) the Road Reapers are bearing down on a water convoy and as they start their attack the Reapers (and we as well) are treated to the sight of these fellas!!!!

Yeah, it's a giant spacecraft that unloads a flying giant Manta Ray, a Ninja, a Viking, and a Roman Centurion and the spaceship is piloted by Stanley Harris. All of these guys have bullet-proof armor and make short work of the Reapers, especially when the Centurion throws force blasts from his hands, the Manta Ray shoots paralyzing lasers from his eyes, and the Ninja turns into a gigantic Oni (demon). The spaceship lands and the captured Road Reapers are loaded onto the ship and taken away.

Jonah regains consciousness to find himself in a wooden cage hanging from the ceiling. Two very barbaric looking goons are heating up a large kettle and are talking about cooking Jonah Hex up to make some Hexcellent stew. (hee hee, my joke, not theirs. Hey! I think it's the first time in 4 years I've made that pun). Jonah, not one to be gnawed on, grabs his knife, cuts the rope holding the cage and the entire thing falls on the goons, breaking open and knocking them into the fire.

Jonah makes tracks through what appears to be a sewer system and finally ends up on the bank of the river, free for now.

Back to the giant spaceship with the captured Road Reapers, we find that the ship has arrived at a huge area that appears to be some sort of prison work camp. The Reapers recognize some of the other workers as being from rival gangs and it slowly dawns on them that they are now slaves!

Jonah finally makes it back into town and recovers his motorcycle and ends up back at the Kit Kat Klub to find Stiletta. He grabs both pistols and kicks the door in only to find out that it is now and respectable restaurant. Jonah is fairly confused until he recognizes one of the workers as the referee from the fight. Jonah drags him over to a console with a ton of buttons and Jonah mashes the correct button that turns the restaurant back into the Kit Kat Klub, sliding back a wall to reveal the huge arena. Jonah demands to know where Stiletta is and the referee tells him that Stiletta is probably with Austin and Ingalls, owners of the Klub, and part of the Combine, the group that killed Batman.

That allows us to quickly transition to a meeting of the Combine that is just breaking up. Two men, we can assume Austin and Ingalls, are leaving the building and approach their limo. When they get in they find their limo driver naked and tied up in the back seat and Jonah Hex in the driver's seat. Jonah pulls out a pistol, demanding to know where Stiletta is. One of the men pushes a button that opens up a compartment holding a pistol. The man grabs it and Jonah plugs him square between the eyes. Jonah tromps the gas and takes off in the limo and a bodyguard orders several thugs on cycles to give chase.

Back at the slave camp we see a strange shadowy figure floating within a large building full of video screens. The figure speaks of how slowly the process is going but at least things are moving along, thanks to his Dogs of War. When the light shines on the figure, it appears to be an alien!

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah: Looks to be three. One shot and two burned alive.
Running Total: 477 (428 past, 49 future)
Jonah's Injuries: Beat up and knocked out.
Timeline: Immediately after last issue so not even a day passes during this issue.

Wow. I think right about here is where I started losing interest in this book. Yup, this is the book that jumped the shark for me. I can take Jonah in the future with some of the sci-fi stuff, but the space ships, aliens, and everything else thrown in here, was just too much. Of course, we only have about five more issues left.

The search for Stiletta and the Combine/Conglomerate is a storyline that interests me and I wish we could have stuck along those lines. Texeira's work is still good, but the inking and coloring kind of muddy everything up. Also, Hex was never printed on white Mondo paper so it really suffers from the coloring process.

It's gonna be hard to get through these next issues. I'll just be honest with ya. But I think it will be kind of like a band-aid, I should just rip it off and get the pain over with.

Next Issue: Jonah Hex vs. Stiletta in a fight to the death!!!

Hex #12 "Siege of the Terminators"

Hex #12
"Siege of the Terminators"

Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon, art and cover

Plummeting to their deaths from last issue, Batman and Jonah Hex are sure to be street pizza since the flight capability of Batman's suit was destroyed by Jonah's knife throw. However, Batman isn't a one trick pony and unleashes his Bat-rope, snagging a flagpole as they fall past. Jonah manages to shinny up the rope to the flagpole and then over to the building. Batman follows suit and just before he reaches the flagpole, the pole starts to snap.

Jonah quickly undoes the chains on his boots and throws one end to Batman and then pulls Batman to safety. Batman states that they need to talk a few things over.

Meanwhile, we are privy to a discussion amongst the folks that own the giant robots and flew Jonah in from Seattle to New York in order to take care of Batman. They are discussing their chances of successfully getting the robots armed and if they can't bribe Batman, maybe Jonah Hex will kill him.

We cut back to Batman's giant flying Bat-plane where Batman has taken the descriptions given by Jonah, fed them into his computer and realizes that these guys work for the Combine. Hex asks about Stiletta but Batman says he has no idea. He explains that these two guys that have conned Jonah run the Kit Kat Klub on the old West side.

Batman gives Jonah directions to club and drops him off near his motorcycle. He also gives Jonah a warning, saying that Batman doesn't like guns or the people that use him, so Jonah had better find Stiletta and get out of town. Jonah says Batman better not push his luck with Jonah, where he comes from they string up hombres with masks. Batman replies "You mean Seattle?" and flies off. Watching the Bat-plane leave Hex replies "Uh-uh. Ah mean 1875."

So, we go see what is transpiring in the Kit Kat Klub and we fight a fight ring surrounded by a huge crowd. In the ring is the Blonde Spitfire going up against Bertha (weighing in at 267 pounds). Bertha punches the ringmaster and throws knives at the Spitfire (Stiletta). Stiletta dodges the knives and then pulls a whip, smacking Bertha in the face. Bertha charges her and the tussle continues on.

Elsewhere, there is a blind man working his way down an alley when he is set upon by a gang of thugs, however, Batman suddenly swoops in, beats the living tar out of the thugs and the starts questioning the blind man, who is one of Batman's informants. The blind man, Mole, explains that the Combine has flown in Jonah Hex to kill Batman and they're also trying to sucker the city council to accepting the Terminator robots as well as getting Batman to relax the firearms restrictions so they can arm the Terminators with lasers.

Back at the Kit Kat Klub, the fight continues until Stiletta finally knocks down Bertha, grabs a huge knife and buries it in the middle of Bertha's back, killing her. Just then Jonah busts into the club and attempts to get Stiletta out of the ring, but he is beaten senseless by the club bouncers and tossed into a dumpster.

In the Combine's HQ, they receive a giftbox but when they open it, several bats fly out and they find a note from Batman warning them about activating the Terminators.

That evening, Batman is heading back to his hideout but there is a large explosion at a local fuel depot and he flies in to put out the flames.

During this time, several hearses enter a warehouse owned by the Combine and start unloading the huge lasers that the Combine wants to put into the Terminators. Turns out that the Combine started the depot fire to keep Batman busy and when they get the lasers in place, they unleash three Terminators into downtown Manhattan.

Batman gets the fire out and then notices the problems in Manhattan. The cops are trying to fight the giant robots but to no avail and Batman has a slight problem, he has no firepower on the Bat-plane so he can do little more than swoop around and be an irritant.

Jonah Hex eventually comes to in the dumpster and sees the robots nearby, fighting Batman. Jonah contemplates taking off to find Stiletta again, but decides to go help Batman. However, after getting on his motorcycle and arriving on the scene, Jonah learns just how huge the robots are and on top of that, they are bulletproof.

So what is a cowboy to do? Take off between some skyscrapers, drag dynamite off his cycle, rig it up to two buildings and then lure a robot to follow him and hit the tripwire, which drops both buildings onto the robot. Another robot has waded into the river and is shooting at Batman with those dreaded lasers. As the robot walks under a bridge, Batman uses his electromagnet to pull four bolts out of the bridge and drop the entire thing on the robot (personally, I would hate to drive on a bridge being held together by four bolts that had no nuts on them!)

The last robot is destroying a housing complex and Batman swerves the Bat-plane into an antenna on a power plant, slicing it off and into the robot, electrocuting the robot and causing it to explode. The Bat-plane has lost a wing and crashes into the river......

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Jonah: 0
Running Total: 474 (428 past, 46 future)
Jonah's Injuries: Beaten unconscious
Timeline: Seems like the sun came up around here somewhere, everything is fairly murky on this one so let's add one more day. Day 17 of the future.

Wow, this one almost hurts to reread. I seem to remember enjoying it back in '86, but now it just falls there and lies on the ground twitching. Jonah Hex against giant robots? Nope, it doesn't work. Toss in a few pop culture references ("Ain't that nightmare 2047", "The Batman's over 21") and this book becomes less about Jonah and more about the supporting characters and their time. It just doesn't work at all. Sadly, I feel that this book was the start of the downfall of Hex because, believe me, things get even weirder the farther along we go.

Next Issue: We learn the fate of Stanley Harris and get to meet the DOGS OF WAR!!!

Hex #11 "Night of the Bat"

HEX #11 July 1986
"Night of the Bat"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon and Pablos Marcos, art - Denys Cowan and Dick Giordano, cover

Remember waaaay back when in issue 10 that those flying motorcycle things were shooting at Jonah? Well it turns out that they're some sort of hovercraft and Jonah Hex is being targeted because Mabel wants her guns back. But of course the guys sent to do Mabel's dirty work have made two mistakes:

1. They went after Jonah Hex.
2. They are using something that can be shout out of the sky.

And of course, Jonah does just that, nailing one machine but suddenly another hovercraft comes swinging along and blows the bejesus out of the other thug. It then lands and the guys inside present Jonah with the bloody outfit of Stiletta's.

JUMP CUT!!!

Deep underneath the ruins of the Needle, Reinhold Borsten is clawing his way through the rubble when he hears someone else digging DOWN towards him. It turns out to be Kinglet. Hmm, Kinglet? Kinglet? I THINK he's a doctor or a flunky. I'll check and get back to you later. ANYWAY, Kinglet has found Borsten and he is wearing an airtank and a mask. He tells Borsten that they will have to share the airtank but they can make it back to the surface. Borsten grabs the air mask, whips out a pistol and kills Kinglet. Borsten then dons the airtank and as he claws his way to the surface he mentally vows that he will make Jonah Hex suffer for having caused Kinglets death. Wow, I thought Quentin Turnbull was one twisted dude.

Back in the city, Jonah is riding in a hovo with his new 'friends' who are showing him a video of some shadowy figure whipping Stiletta. The new 'friends' print off a photo of the assailant so Jonah can find him...

Now we are in New York city and seeing it through an infrared lens and via a zoom lens we see a thug toting a pistol. That, in and of itself, is enough to throw this man into action...

That's right, it is the Batman of 2050 and New York City has a no gun rule that he upholds. Batman beats the living crap out of the smugglers and then blows up all the weaponry that the smugglers were bringing into the city. He jumps into his Batplane and returns to his secret lair deep within the Statue of Liberty. It is then that we are treated to a ..

FLASHBACK ORIGIN!!!!

Five short years ago (2045) Batman was a world-class gymnast and a doctoral candidate in Criminology at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York. He idolized Batman and finally figured out that Batman was really Bruce Wayne and had actually discovered the original Batcave. He was in the Batcave when the missiles were launched. He survived the war and missed the madness that ensued.

Both of his parents also survived. His mother, Miram Cohen, was a rabbi and was a proponent of gun control. His father, Kenneth Cohen was a top level disarmament negotiator under three administrations. Sadly, they were of two groups that were targeted in the new mob mentality, Jews and Gun control advocates. One evening, they were gunned down and therefore the new Batman was born.
END OF FLASHBACK ORIGIN!!!!

The next afternoon, deep in the heart of New York in a fortified headquarters we see some very large robots withstand lasers, huge titanium hammers and other dangers. The owners of the robots are pitching them as new 'enforcers' for NYC. Sadly, all of the firepower that the robots were to have has been destroyed by the Batman. The owners are telling their clients, the Municipal Welfare Council, that the robots will be unable to fulfill the order until the Batman is gone. Who should control crime in this town, a vigilante or the people?

That night, Jonah Hex is dropped of in the slums by his new 'friends'. Jonah, not knowing who or what Batman is, and not knowing of the Batman's rule, boldly walks through town with his pistol strapped to his hip. It doesn't take long for Batman to locate Jonah and swoop down, starting a fight. Of course, Jonah recognizes the man who beat Stiletta and is more than happy to take on the caped man.

Batman is able to disarm Hex and take his pistols. Then Batman flies off but Jonah isn't finished. Grabbing his knife, Hex throws it and manages to pierce Batman's cape and damage the anti-grav disc that gives Batman flight. Batman plummets onto a nearby rooftop and Jonah makes tracks up the fire-escape and continues the fight. Batman grabs Jonah and flips him over the edge of the roof, but Jonah grabs Batman and drags him over the edge with him. Of course, they both are now falling to their deaths....

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Hex - 1 in the rotor-bike
Running Total - 474 (428 past, 46 future)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - This issue starts and the end of the prior issue and then we have one day pass. That would mean that we are now end on day 16 of Jonah in the future. Wow, That's a busy two weeks for anybody!

If I have to accept that Jonah Hex is part of the DCU (and I don't want to) this is a fun story. Hex is a pawn and gets suckered into the fight with Batman. This version of Batman, while understandable in his mission, kinda tosses aside the stuff he should have been learning in college about the Constitution and decides to take everything into his own hands. Granted, the 'law' is now the Conglomerate (aka The Mob), but it appears that he has no forward vision of rebuilding a society that can govern itself.

And of course, we get Jonah Hex in New York so what is not to love? This issue gets a thumbs up.

Next Issue: Will Jonah get his pistols back? Will he survive that fall from the roof? Find out and watch the fireworks when the giant robots get involved and everything gets blown all to hell.

Hex #10 "The Sin Killers"

Hex #10 June 1986
"The Sin Killers"

Michael Fleisher, story - Ron Wagner and Carlos Garzon, art - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon, cover

Our story starts some undefined time after last issue with a wonderful bird's eye view of a 'house of ill repute' and we see a car pull up and several people with guns piling out. We here Jonah Hex stuttering and stammering that there has been a misunderstanding, he thought this was a boarding house of some sort. Inside, we see Hex at the front desk still trying to sort things out but in the background there is a man getting a massage and reading the crawl-sheet that has a huge story about Hex defeating the Shooting Gallery.

Suddenly the folks we saw earlier burst into the building shouting "PIGS!! WALLOWING IN SIN!!!" and then open fire with tommy-guns and submachine guns. Jonah grabs a woman and dives behind the front desk with her and then grabs some cover. He whips out his pistol and is about to start leveling the playing field but the massage customer shouts for him to hold his fire. The man doesn't want Hex to hit his daughter, one of the folks shooting up the place.

There is a pause in the gunfire and the shootists smile, stating that Maxwell Grogan will be proud of the souls that have been redeemed here. Oddly enough, the shooters are all dressed in 1930's garb. They leave with the phrase "The wages of sin are death and more death."

Meanwhile, back at the Needle, (remember that?) Reinhold Borsten, whom we thought was dead, appears to only be mostly dead! We find him crawling through the wreckage, hideously disfigured and near death, but still vowing vengeance on Jonah Hex.

Of course, we go back to find that Jonah Hex has accepted a ride and dinner from the man in the "inn", named, uh, well. We never learn his name. Get over that! Anyway, turns out his daughter has gotten mixed up in a anti-sin cult that worships a mass murderer from the 30's The guy hires Hex to bring back his daughter but is at least able to tell Hex that the bunch works out of an abandoned shopping mall north of town.

Jonah heads out to the mall, considering that this is getting him some money but it's not getting him any closer to finding Stiletta. Just then he glances up in the sky and sees a cross-over sales boost! That's right, it's a Legion of Super-Heroes time bubble in a surprise cameo (it's a surprise because they told you that right on the cover! SUPRISE!) with Element Lad, Dawnstar, Superboy, and Shadow Lass. Seems the LSH got thrown of course and ended up in Jonah's book. Superboy grabs the Time Bubble and gets it back on track in the time stream but not before Jonah sees them and figures that he is drunker than he thought he was.

Inside the shopping mall, we find that it is getting closer to GLORY TIME!!! The mall is crowded with the faithful followers of Maxwell Grogan, each of them dressed in the 1930's attire and the head priest is wearing a huge hat similar to that worn by the Grand Dragon of the KKK. Jonah Hex grabs a follower, turns out his lights and grabs the coat and hat and decides to find out what GLORY TIME!!! really is.

Jonah ends up in a balcony of a movie theater where the preacher is showing a film of Max Grogan getting captured by police in 1931. The newsreel continues with Grogan walking the last mile to the chair and the preacher is shouting that they are in the very theater where Grogan was captured and they have that same electric chair and now followers will go to glory in that chair. The first man walks up, gets strapped in and electrocuted to the shock and disgust of Jonah Hex.

Hex decides ha can't wait any longer since the girl he was sent to recover in next in line. He jumps from the balcony to the stage, grabs the girl and takes off. In the lobby, he shoots the chandelier to stop two gangsters that are giving chase and then he tries to shove the girl up a stairway. Jonah is stunned to see that the stairs move, but not too stunned to shoot down more thugs. A couple of thugs decide to take a lift tube to the next floor but Jonah spies them and realizes one thing about the future, always shoot the controls. Of course, the gangsters fall to their death.

Jonah continues to shoot his way through the gangsters all the while the girl is trying to convert him to the teachings of Grogan. Finally Jonah has had enough and grabs the girl and jumps over a railing, landing atop a monorail. They get inside and Jonah starts pushing buttons to get the thing moving. Sadly, Jonah manages to jam the controls and the monorail can't take the first turn at top speed and flies off the rail and right through the side of the theater.

The whole shooting match bursts into flames and the preacher screams for the girl to come to her glory. She jumps from the monorail and rushes for the chair. She straps herself in and the preacher is ready to throw the switch but Jonah comes to, grabs his pistols and finds they are empty. The preacher grabs the switch and just as he starts to throw it, a large knife ends up buried in his chest. Jonah jumps to the stage, slaps the girl unconscious, grabs her and makes tracks.

Some time later, we see the father paying Jonah for the job and stating that he has locked her in her room upstairs. Just then we hear some loud crashing from the house and the father runs inside as Jonah rides off on his cycle. The father tops the stairs and finds his daughter's room empty, the window broken and a sheet hanging to the ground. The father starts shouting that Hex has to help find her but Jonah continues on.

Just then we see three motorcycles dropping from the sky and opening fire on Jonah!!!

Statistics for this issue

Men killed by Jonah - 6
Running Total - 473 (428 past, 45 future)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - Hmm, this is tough. The Shooting Gallery is still in the news so it can't be too far after that so maybe my estimation of a week passing from two issues ago is probably wrong. Hmm. let's say three days between 8 and 9 and three days between 9 and 10.

I did enjoy this issue, lots of gunfire, lots of death, lots of burning stuff. Add in the weird cult from the 1930's and it just sits correctly on the tongue. It also made me remember this little bit that I thought about two years ago. All except for the SURPRISE CROSSOVER SALES BUMP!!!! I could have really done without that. Now it means that I'll have to track down LSH #23 for one lousy panel of Jonah. grrrrr. I also didn't like the confusion that Jonah had regarding the whorehouse. His old west wasn't THAT lily-white. I think Fleisher overplayed the hick hayseed bit just a tad too much here.

Next Issue: New York City!!!! Stiletta Found!!!! Jonah Hex vs. Batman!!! It's true!! The Damn BATMAN!!!

Hex #9 "Day of the Cyborg!"

Hex #9 May 1986
"Day of the Cyborg!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon and Pablos Marcos, art - Mark Texeira and Pablos Marcos, cover

  Jonah cannot locate Stiletta after she was mysteriously abducted and we find him sitting in a bar tossing back a few. In a typical Jonah Hex fashion, he is downing drink after drink after drink until he is interrupted by three thugs who are spouting off about how Jonah beat the Shooting Gallery earning ten thousand soames. They ask for a demonstration of Jonah's skill, in a rather threatening manner, and Jonah, drunk or not, skillfully obliges by killing all three. But just then we spy another thug drawing a bead on Jonah, but the thug is knocked out by the vocalist of the bar band.

   The vocalist, a fella by the name of George Arthur but traveling under the moniker of Flame, advises that they both make tracks out of the bar before some more of the thugs friends show up. As they walk the streets, Flame is talking about the downward spiral that society has taken and that he and his fiance, Faythe, are going to join a gated community outside the city. A small establishment called Elysian Meadows that sounds just wonderful.

  In short order, Flame and Jonah arrive at a parking lot and Flame gets on his motorcycle and takes off but his guitar falls off unnoticed. Jonah picks up the guitar and decides to track down Flame in the morning and return the instrument.

The next day we find ourselves within the domed gated wonderland that is Elysian Meadows. Within the community, everyone is happy and they are greeting not only each other but also a Dr. Adamant, the creator of the community. Adamant is speaking with an aide when we spot Flame riding down the street on his motorcycle. Adamant asks the aide about Flame, but the aide states that George Arthur is engaged to one of their residents and that his arrival has been anticipated.

  Flame jumps off his bike and is greeted by Faythe but Faythe has cut her hair and is wearing normal clothes. She leads Flame into the house where two large armed guards apprehend Flame despite his screams and struggles.

Some time later, Jonah Hex is outside the gate trying to get in to return Flame's guitar. The guard is doing typical guard things with his list of residents and ongoing denials but then spots George Arthur under the new arrivals. The guard tells Jonah that he can enter but he first has to surrender his weapons. Jonah starts to drive past the guard, but the guard reaches out, grabs Jonah by the throat and hoists him off the cycle. Fighting for air, Hex draws his pistol and fires, blowing the guards arm clean off but we find out that the guard is a robot. Hex jumps onto his cycle and speeds off into the dome.

Inside the dome other guards have been alerted and start to close in on Hex. Jonah dismounts and opens fire, taking down several of the robot guards. As Jonah runs through the streets, the members of the community appear oblivious of the carnage all around them. Jonah ducks behind a house and starts reloading when Flame walks up. Flame's hair is cut and he is wearing normal clothes. Flame suddenly turns and shouts out to the guards that he has found Jonah Hex.

The captured Jonah hex is taken to the company of Dr. Adamant, who proves to be a master of exposition. Adamant talks of the construction of the cyborg control force (so they WEREN'T robots!) and that mankind has not yet evolved to the place where they can be trusted to maintain their own free will. Therefore new arrivals to the wonderful world he has created are outfitted with a brain diode implant that keeps the residents in a passive state. Of course, with everyone being so laid back, the good doctor was forced to create an army of cyborgs to guard the establishment.

And, of course, since Jonah Hex is a natural born fighter, Dr. Adamant has plans to turn Jonah into a bionic cyborg. So they beat the tar out of Jonah, strap him to a table and wheel him into surgery. Once in surgery the stupid stupid doctors make the mistake of getting the surgical laser within kicking range of Jonah. He therefore kicks the living bejesus out of the laser, sending it twirling crazily and loping off an incredible amount of cyborg limbs.

Hex then pulls a small four-shot derringer out of his boot, unstraps himself from the table and opens up, giving himself enough time to work the controls on the operating room door, blast the controls, run through the door and then close the door from the outside. Jonah then beats a hasty retreat down the hall.

Jonah finally locates Dr. Adamant and when the Doc starts advancing on Hex, Jonah shoots him point blank. Sadly, the bullet bounces harmlessly off Adamant and then the doc backhands Hex with unbridled fury. Adamant then lifts Hex one-handed and throws him across the room. Jonah manages to grab a handy flamethrower and opens up with it.

Dr. Adamant, his flesh burnt off, continues to advance on Jonah because Dr. Adamant is not a cyborg, but a full-blown robot. Adamant grabs a section of the wall, rips it up and throws it at Hex, who dodges it.

Meanwhile, the brain-addled Flame and Faythe are bringing flower to Jonah to celebrate his surgical recovery and addition to the cyborg guards.

Jonah Hex continues to flee from Adamant and gets a huge air-lock type door between him and the robot. Adamant won't be stopped and rips the door from the frame and then grabs an axe and starts swinging. In a rage of anger, the robot throws the axe, severing some electrical cables on the far wall. Adamant grabs the axe by the wooden handle and starts swinging again, getting closer and closer to Hex. Just as he is about to deliver the death blow, Flame and Faythe enter the rooom asking if they can visit Jonah.

Adamant is distracted for a second and Jonah leaps up, grabs the electrical cable and throws it at the robot, which results in the instant melting/vaporization of the robot. Jonah then searches around the room to find the mind-control switch and flips it off. Immediately Flame and Faythe come to their senses.

A short time later, Jonah is bidding farewell to the lovely couple and takes off to find Stiletta. As he drives off he notes that life in 1875 was downright serene compared to here and we see residents of the domed community arguing over gardening tools.

Statistics for the Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 3 thugs in the bar. I don't count any of the cyborgs cuz, well, they're cyborgs.
Running Total - 467 (428 past, 39 future)
Jonah's Injuries - beat up and choked a couple of times.
Timeline - Well, I'll be generous here. It appears that Jonah has been searching for Stiletta for some time, so we'll say that a week has passed prior to this issue and in the issue we do have one day pass. Therefore, since last issue was day 4, let's say that this issue ends on day 12 of Jonah's visit to the future.

The artwork in this issue was very good (I love Texeira's style) with some weird looking cyborg types both in and out of the domed city. The story had a lot of shooting and what not, but the plot was a little thin especially with the quick dispatch of Dr. Adamant. What do ya want, characterization or action?

Next Issue: Jonah Hex takes on the 1930's Chicago Mob, a lunatic church, a monorail, and a shopping mall. How much crazy can one cowboy handle?

HEX # 7 "Ravages of Time!"

HEX #7 Mar 1986
"Ravages of Time!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon, art and cover

Brolin is holding a gun on Hex after Jonah has pretty much made a mess of the amusement pier. Just then the owner of the pier comes up and starts harping on Brolin for making a mess of things, the pier pays protection money to the Conglomerate, after all. Jonah takes advantage of the distraction, dives for his dropped pistol and pumps two slugs into Brolin.

That may have saved his life, but Hex is still taken captive by Borsten's goon squad. A Conglomerate spy at the pier reports back to the Conglomerate that every thing is going to plan.

Back at the Needle, Borsten's goons are not having any luck locating Stanley Harris, who is hiding in the air passageways overhead, but, sadly, so are a ton of giant rats. The rats catch up to Harris and while he right overhead of some goons, the rats swarm him and start taking large bites out of him.

Elsewhere in the Needle, Jonah finally arrives and is returned to Tube Town, the room full of statis chambers that Borsten uses to 'store' all of the people he has kidnapped from the past.  Jonah is loaded into a tube and gassed unconscious.

Life goes on in the Needle, where we see one of the cooks taking out a garbage hovo. Once outside while he is dumping the load, Stiletta ambushes him.

In Tube Town, the Conglomerate's Needle spy walks up to the guard and asks to see Hex. When the guard asks for the authorization, the spy (Percy) pulls out a pistol and kills the guard. He then evacuates the gas from Hex's statis chamber, but the guard is only mostly dead and he manages to push an alarm. Percy quickly explains to Hex how to use a timed grenade to blown up the Time Machine after he uses it. Just push the button and fifteen seconds later...

TOO LATE! More guards show up and shoot Percy. As Percy falls dead, the grenade, armed, bounces down the hallway towards the guards.

Of course, the garbage hovo returns, this time with Stiletta in disguise but the guards are getting suspicious only to be interrupted by the explosion from the grenade. They take off for Tube Town, leaving Stiletta. As she shucks her disguise a ceiling panel opens up and the rat gnawed body of Harris falls to the floor. Harris, barely conscious recognizes Stiletta and comments on how great the androids are in the future.

Stiletta replies that she isn't a droid and she never saw Harris before in her life.

Back in Tube Town, Jonah is making a quick retreat for the Time Machine.

Harris and Stiletta make their way to Tube Town and find Jonah already gone, so they head to the Time Machine to get Harris back to 1968. Harris stops for a moment and shoots open all of the statis chambers, releasing several Roman soldiers and Asian warriors. Of course, things start getting worse as we hear loud rumblings from the structure of the Needle and a chain reaction has been started that the maintenance crew can't get a handle on.

Jonah has made his way to the Chronal Chamber and starts working on resetting the Time Machine so he can go home. Reinhold Borsten shows up brandishing a pistol ready to drop Hex where he stands. But then Harris and Stiletta show up and gain the upper hand. Harris makes some adjustments on the time machine and fires it up while Stiletta holds her dad at gunpoint. The machine fires up and Harris and Hex jump onto the Chronal platform but some guards come crashing into the room and one of them shoots Stiletta. Hex leaps from the platform and kills both guards as Harris fades into the past and Borsten hotfoots it outta the room.

Stiletta only got a flesh wound. She staggers to her feet and tells Hex to get on the platform, the way the Needle is shaking, it's probably going to collapse and the chain reaction that is happening is going to kill the power at any moment. She rests the machine and Jonah tries to pause long enough to tell her something but she shouts that he has to go now. Jonah runs for the platform and as he gets there the machine sputters and then explodes.

The Needle is indeed collapsing, Jonah grabs up Stiletta and starts making tracks out of there. Borsten, we find, is in an elevator, heading to a hidden escape vehicle, but there is a sudden explosion of flame into the elevator shaft and we see Borsten engulfed in flame, screaming his head off.

Hex and Stiletta find the hovo deck, she shoots the lone guard and as they power up the craft, the ceiling starts to collapse, leaving a huge hole for them to fly out of. They manage to barely escape the Needle before the whole thing explodes all to hell and back. As they fly off we see several dozen people dragging themselves out of the wreckage, among them Roman centurions, American Indians, Chinese Monks, and a few Samurai.

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 5
Running Total - 460 (428 past, 32 future)
Jonah's Injuries -none
Timeline - Same day as last issue. We are still on day three in the future.

Wow, this was one hell of an issue packed with tons of action and everyone we have met so far jammed into a single issue. The destruction of the Needle, the death of Borsten, Harris's return and the end of the time machine, coupled with several explosions and a good body count, places this as one of the better issues of HEX. It appears that we have wrapped up the Reinhold Borsten story and there appears to be no chance of Jonah making it back to the past. The only thing left is to thrust him out into that big wide 2050 world and see who loses.

The last panel with all of the warriors from across the ages made me want to know what happens to all of those folks. I guess Seattle ended up looking like a round of Heroscape.

Next Issue: Jonah looks for some badly needed soames and ends up in the Shooting Gallery.

Hex #6 "The Soames Conspiracy"

Hex #6  Feb 1986
"The Soames Conspiracy"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon, art and cover

The connection to the scanner is acting wonky, so I'll have scans for this issue up next week.
Jonah Hex and Stiletta are completely surrounded by the Conglomerate goons after having defeated Chain and they are led off to who knows where.

Meanwhile in the Needle, Harris is slowly recovering from the biochemical interrogation and is taken back to the statis tubes. The guards start to put Harris into a tube and he suddenly lashes out, beating the crap out of both guards, steals a weapon and attempts to leave the Needle. Except he discovers that the Needle is slightly bigger than he anticipated.

Back at the Conglomerate's country house, Hex and Stiletta are 'guests' of the head of the Conglomerate. The head explains about the global war that contaminated the global drinking supply and how nomad gangs starting taking over various regions. The world was a living hell until Nobel chemist Wilfred Soames, located near Lake Victoria in Tanzania, devised a tablet that would purify a gallon of water almost instantly. Soames had planned on distributing the tablets for free in order to save the world. The Conglomerate had different ideas.

In the US the Conglomerate cornered the market on production and they eventually became the government. Soames (the tablet) eventually became the only excepted form of currency. However, there is a fly in the ointment and the fly is named Reinhold Borsten. The Conglomerate has learned that Borsten plans on dumping a chemical in to the global cloud cover that will neutralize all the radioactivity in the clouds, essentially solving the global radiated water supply.

However, Borsten has to travel into the past to obtain the tools needed to pull this off. The Conglomerate has intel saying that with one more trip, Borsten will be able to complete his plans, purify the global water supply and destroy the soames standard, thus toppling the Conglomerate from controlling the US. Their plan is to stop Borsten by getting Hex back into the Needle, allowing him to use the time machine to return to the 1800's and destroy the machine in the process. They explain that they have a man inside the Needle that will help Hex, but the spy is unable to gain access to the time machine area, whereas Jonah is a 'one-man army'.

In the Needle, Borsten has left the rejuvenation bubble where he was recovering from his last trip to the 2042. A guard enters the room to state that Harris has escaped from the statis tubes. Borsten demands that Harris be recaptured and that he wants his head guard, Brollin, on the job. Another guard explains that Brolin is mourning his father who was a waste-disposal driver murdered by Hex.

We find Brolin at the cemetery, mourning his father and obsessing how he wants revenge for what Jonah Hex has taken from him.

That night we find Stiletta and Jonah Hex in the country house of the Conglomerate talking about the upcoming assault on the Needle. Stiletta says that she'll help get Hex into the Needle because she has business there as well. She had to murder Borsten, her father.

She explains how Borsten worked for the time travel project, learned of the holocaust and made plans to escape to the future. However, he never warned his family of the upcoming devastation. Stiletta was staying with her grandparents in the country, but Borsten's wife was in the city and died in the war. Stiletta assumed that her father was dead as well, but years later she learned the truth and swore to kill her father for what he had done.

In the Needle, the search for Harris continued but Harris has crawled up into the ductwork to hide. However, Harris soons learns that there is something else living in the ductwork of the Needle.....rats!

The next morning, Jonah and Stiletta take off for the Needle, however Jonah explains that he is leaving Stiletta, he can't afford to allow her personal agenda to jeopardize his chance to get back to the past. Stiletta pulls a pistol, demanding that Hex help her but as he takes off she finds herself unable to pull the trigger.

An old rado-scarred bum walks up to the Needle to tell a guard that he has found Jonah Hex and that he wants the 2,000 soames reward (or about $12.14 in today's money). The bum says that he saw Hex hanging out by the old game pier. The guard explains that they have already caught Hex and the reward has been claimed. However, he gives the bum some soames to hold him over. The bum leaves and guard is excited about how he can collect the reward for locating Jonah Hex.

Shortly thereafter, Borsten notifies Brolin of Jonah's location and Brolin takes his men out to capture Hex.

At the Conglomerate, the head gets word that their spy, dressed as an old bum, has notified the Needle of Jonah's location.

So let's go to the game pier, a Coney Island with a horrible 1980's future punk twist. Jonah is suddenly stopped by several hoods who attempt to rob him, but suddenly they are all gunned down by Borsten's men. Jonah takes off running as Borsten's men demand that he give himself up.

Jonah jumps a nearby fence, landing smack in the middle of a demo-derby type tri-motorcycle race. He punches a driver, takes his bike and grabs his shotgun. Jonah kills two guards and crashes through the fence and onto the pier. Suddenly three large vehicles rise from the water and start shooting. Jonah spins the cycle around and two guards on cycles chase after him. They shoot netting at Hex and capture him. However, Jonah speeds up the bike, drawing the two guards closer together until they crash. Smashing through a guardrail, Jonah gets the bike onto the rollercoaster track and heads for high ground.

When he gets near the top, there is a helicopter waiting for him but Jonah locks down the throttle, jumps from the bike and watches as the bike top the hill, becomes airborne and smashes into the chopper. Just then a rollercoaster car with two guards comes up behind Jonah and he dives over the side just as the car slams into the wrecked cycle and chopper. The whole shooting match explodes as Jonah climbs down the side of the coaster track.

Once Jonah reaches the pier, Brolin is waiting for him. Jonah surrenders and holds his hands out get cuffed. However Brolin has not intention of taking Jonah alive and slowly draws a bead on Hex.....

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 2 with the shotgun, 2 on the cycles, 2 in the chopper and 2 on the rollercoaster for a total of 8
Running Total - 455 (428 past, 27 future)
Jonah's Injuries - none
Timeline - This issue finishes the night and into the next day. Jonah has been in the future for three days.

This was one crazy issue and I loved it. In the last several issues of Jonah Hex, Michael Fleisher had introducing complex overlapping storylines along with fleshing out secondary characters. He continues with the same formula here in Hex. We get Brolin, who we have seen several times before but was never named, who now has a personal reason to kill Hex; Stiletta has a vendetta of her own; the Conglomerate discloses the reason it is opposing Borsten's work; and we get a huge dose of action at the end of the issue. All in all, one of the better stories containing Jonah Hex.

Next Issue: (again, I'll let Mr. Fleisher deliver the pitch on this one) Harris gets eaten by rats, Borsten gets burned alive, and the Needle gets blown to hell!

Hex #4 "Worms"

Hex #4 Dec 1985
"Worms"
Michael Fleisher, story - Ron Wagner and Carlos Garzon, art - Mark Texeira and Klaus Janson, cover

Jonah Hex is in the out of control hovercraft of the late Barnaby Blossom and is heading straight for the side of a mountain. Jonah, being the fine pilot he is, slams headlong into the cliff face.

Meanwhile, three other men in a different craft are tracking Blossom's ship on a radar and are thinking that someone probably hijacked Blossom and his cargo.

Back at the wall of rock, Jonah is lucky enough that his crashed transportation has landed on a ledge and as he works his way out of the burning wreckage, the craft suddenly topples and Jonah is left to climb up teh sheer rock wall all by his lonesome.

We flash back to the jungles of Viet Nam to find Harris running for his life. Suddenly he steps into a trap and is captured by the VC! They take him back to their village and start torturing him, asking questions. Harris only gives up his name, rank, and serial number. However the VC keep demanding to know about the CIA, troop movements, mission details and the location of Jonah Hex!

Then we find out the truth, Harris is drugged and held captive by Dr. Kinglet, head medical lackey of Reinhold Borsten. Kinglet states that Harris's will is so strong that he continues to fight the hypno drugs even to the point of damaging his brain. Borsten, who slowly enters the room, states that Hex needs to be recaptured before Borsten takes his next journey into the past.

Several hours later, we find Jonah Hex stumbling across various canyons, nursing his busted ribs and looking for water. He finally finds a watering hole and as he falls down, scooping up double handfuls of water he hears a voice behind him warning not to drink the water.

It's Stiletta! Jonah pulls his pistol and demands that she stay back since she's some kind of machine that he saw blasted apart. She says that whatever he saw, it wasn't her. She kneels down and fills a canteen with water, stating that she has no idea how Jonah Hex got to be so ignorant, but that in the holocaust of 2045, all open water was contaminated to the point of one taste kills a man. She takes a wafer, splits it into quarters and drops one in the canteen, explaining that it is a soames and that one soames purifies one gallon of water.

Meanwhile, our three airborne friends from before have finally come upon the wreckage of Barnaby Blossom's machine.

By now, Jonah and Stiletta have gotten their canteens filled and are on her motorcycle. Jonah has explained where he is from and how he got stranded. Stiletta isn't surprised since it explains a whole lot about him. She had lost track of Hex after the battle for the water and then heard about a scar-faced guy that hijacked a conglomerate 'hovo'. Just then they are set upon by hill scum! Several men jump from the overhanging cliffs and knock Stiletta and Jonah off the bike. Both are eventually overcome by their attackers and once the hill scum finish robbing them, they decide to kill Hex and Stiletta. Jonah grabs a handful of sand, throws it into the hill scum's eyes, grabs Stiletta and jumps over the edge of the cliff. The hill scum stand atop the cliff, watching the pair slide and tumble to their death.

Our three friends from the Conglomerate have landed beside the wreckage and have retrieved the black box in order to learn what happened to Blossom. What they see leads them to believe that Jonah hijacked Blossom and threw him out the busted sun roof.

We now find Jonah and Stiletta walking across the Washington state desert. Stiletta mentions that Falcon told her about a cave that had clean water in it about twelve miles from where they are. They slowly head for the cave when Stiletta says that there is something that she should tell Hex. She explains that Reinhold Borsten is her father.

Back at the Needle, Borsten is giving a great explanation of the history of he and his daughter. Eight years ago, in 2042 (thus making this 2050), Borsten worked as a national security administration liaison to the top-secret project Cronos, tasked with building a time machine. They were eventually successful and decided to send one of their scientists three years into the future, to 2045. The man vanished and never returned.

Not until much later that is. Somehow, unexplained, one night when Borsten was in the lab, the time machine started up and the co worker that had been sent to 2045 returned. Sadly he was near death, his body ravaged and disfigured from radiation poisoning. With his dying words the man explained about the global nuclear war that wiped out everything, leaving the planet broken almost beyond repair.

Acting quickly, Borsten sent the man's dying body into the far far future (I would love to see his body suddenly appear with no explanation in a Legion of Super Heroes story!!), gathered all the plans and programs needed to restore the planet and then sent himself five years into the future, to 2047. As he vanished, he tossed a hand grenade into the lab, destroying the only working time machine.

To his dismay, by the time Borsten had arrived, the underworld had already started repairing the earth and had formed the Conglomerate, holding complete control over the entire planet because it was they alone who controlled the production of soames. Borsten, however, does have plans to overthrow the Congolmerate and take over control of the earth.

We finally find Jonah and Stiletta walking up to the cave (Let's see, twelve miles at three miles an hour is four hours, but they are injured so let's say six hours later). They rig up a torch and head into the cave and quickly find the pool of clean water. However, they also find...

WORMS!!!!

Jonah uses the torch to fight of the slimy bloodsuckers as Stiletta fills up the canteen. She gets it filled but suddenly one of the worms wraps around her leg. She panics, lunging backwards and falls into Jonah, who accidentally throws the torch into the pool of water.

In the total darkness, Jonah tells her to light a match. She gets one lit and out of the darkness, Jonah hands her his shirt, telling her to light it. Once it starts blazing we see....

They finally get the giant bloodsucking things off of Hex and Jonah cuts the last one in half with his handy knife. They stumble out of the cave with the canteen of water just as we see our three friends from the Conglomerate draw a bead on them from up above..

Statistics for this Issue:

Men killed by Jonah - hmm, we see three hill scum bodies and we know that Stiletta sliced one open so let's say Jonah gets two kills.
Running Total - 447 (428 past, 19 future)
Jonah's Injuries - Broken ribs from the crash and several lost patches of skin from the worms.
Timeline - Can you believe that it is still day number two of Jonah Hex in the future? I think the days must be longer of something! Anyway, we know that we are now in 2050!!

A pretty good issue. We get one aspect of Stiletta resolved, we play catch-up on history thanks to Reinhold "Exposition Machine" Borsten, we learn more of the fate of Stanley Harris, and we have a large villain in the drug dealing Conglomerate. Lots of action, lots of danger. It's some pretty typical 80's sci-fi, but damn, it's Jonah Hex and that carries me a long way. (Note: Please do NOT remind me of this last sentence when we finally get to Shadows West.)

So far in HEX we have a well laid out culture with a strong historical backstory and it is apparent that Fleisher isn't making this up one issue at a time. I'm enjoying it, I really am (and I was back in 1985)

Next Issue: A spy in the needle, Borsten goes back to 2042, Stiletta and Hex plan to rob the Conglomerate, and we meet the number one paid hitman in.... The Seattle Chainsaw Massacre!!!

Hex #3 "The Lotus Eaters!"

Hex #3 Nov 1985
"The Lotus Eaters!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon, art - Denys Cowan and Klaus Janson, cover

Jonah has stolen a motorcycle in his escape from the Needle and is currently being pursued by a hovercraft and two other motorcycles. Jonah bravely guns the bike and jumps across a gorge and his two cycle pursuers are unable to make the leap. The hovercraft is closing in and the pilot is reporting his status to Needle HQ when Jonah unlimbers his pistol and with two shots quickly dispatches the pilot into the great beyond.

Jonah rides for quite some time across the desert wasteland of Washington state and finally comes across a town (if you can call it that). There are several people in the street and on the sidewalks who have set up charcoal grills and are sitting next to them in a state of stupor. However, there are a few thugs of sound mind who realize that Jonah's bike would be worth several thousand soames. Three of them decide to take on Hex and steal the bike.

A fight ensues but we are able to watch the fisticuffs not only from our vantage point, but also that of the folks laying in the street. Through their drug induces stupor the fight appears to be either two large rams butting heads or clowns boxing in a circus ring. Jonah knocks out the last of the crooks just as a hovercraft lands. A slightly overweight man in a horrendous yellow shirt jumps out, introduces himself as Barnaby Blossom and offers to help Jonah escape from the gathering crowd.

Jonah takes him up on his offer and Blossom explains that he deals in lotus blossom.

Suddenly we are in a swamp with Germans and Frenchmen from WWI facing off. The French open up with their cannons, blowing the Germans to smithereens. We are then treated to a wide angle view where we see a large glass dome on a nearby mountain. The dome contains Reinhold Borsten and several of his guests who are betting on the outcome of the battle below. The Germans retaliate with poison gas and the French don their gasmasks (and put masks on their horses) and charge back into battle.

One of the men, Conroy, identifies himself as the chief of the Conglomerate's chemical entertainment division and he is wondering why the promised attraction, Jonah Hex, is absent. Borsten explains that there has been some technical difficulties. I should also note here, that all of the guests are high ranking administrators for the Conglomerate.(more on that later)

Meanwhile, Hex and Blossom are making tracks across the skies. Blossom says that he could use someone to ride shotgun to help him get his shipments through. Blossom explains that he peddles Lotus-Blossom Pacifier, it has these incredible powers to make folks forget their troubles for a little while.

Suddenly several large grappling hooks fly up in front of the hovercraft, attempting to pull it from the sky. It's a band of roving hijackers, looking to take the shipment. A net gets shot over the hovercraft and Blossom hands a shotgun to Jonah. A couple of quick rounds later and the winches on the hijacker's trucks and shot to hell and Blossom and Hex escape.

Back at the Needle, Borsten is ranting and raving about trying to complete his soames project while surrounded by idiots. Suddenly he collapses and the doctor orders that Borsten be taken to the rejuvenation bubble, stat. The doc says that Borsten's ongoing travels require that he spend more and more time in the bubble.

Some time later, Blossom and Hex land in another town. Blossom says that he's gonna show Hex the ropes and he hands Hex an air breather, while donning his own. They tote several bags of lotus out of the hovercraft and start a fire, tossing the lotus into the growing blaze. Several locals show up and stand in the rolling smoke. Blossom says that the best way to expand his territory is to give away the first few bags of lotus and he's forced to do it because the Conglomerate is always upping his quotas.

Jonah notices a young boy wandering off, muttering that he is the birdman. The boy is heading for a huge pit. Jonah yells a warning, but  the boy pays no heed. Jonah pulls out his knife, cuts a nearby rope, fashions a lariat, lassos a girder and swinging, grabs the boy just as he topples over the edge.

Once Jonah gets the boy to safety he has determined that Blossom is a dangerous man. Hex grabs a huge tarp from a junkpile and tosses it on the fire, extinquishing it. Blossom goes nuts with rage, ripping Jonah's mask off and then making a run for the hovercraft. As Blossom takes off, Jonah starts suffering the effects of the Lotus smoke but is able to jump onto the top of the craft as it lifts off.

Blossom tries to shake Hex off, but Jonah ends up crashing through the sunroof. Blossom pulls out a crossbow, but Hex delivers a right hook. Blossom hands back an uppercut and Jonah pulls some quick ISB-Fu (aka kick to the head). Blossom staggers backwards into the hovercraft controls, causing the craft to flip, throwing Blossom out the busted sun roof.

Blossom plummets to his death, but slams into a building girder. He manages to hang on, screaming for help from the drug addled crowd below. However, they are having delusions and are of no help at all. Blossom slips and falls to his death.

Meanwhile, Jonah is still in the hovercraft and the whole thing is completely out of control, with the ground rushing upwards....

Statistics for This Issue

Men killed by Jonah - 4
Running Total - 445 (428 past, 17 future)
Jonah's Injuries - Just a fistfight or two, no big deal
Timeline - Looks like this is day two of Jonah's time in the future.


I wasn't all that thrilled with this issue. We learn what Borsten is doing with all the armies from the past, however that are still several things unexplained: soames, why Borsten needs the rejuvenation bubble, what is the Conglomerate, what happened to Harris? This advanced the story (via mysteries) enough to keep you coming back for the next issue, but as far as action, it was kinda lame and limping along.


Next Issue: (Mr. Fleisher, will you do the honors?) The Worms crawl in, The Worms crawl out, The Worms eat your guts and spit them out!! (Yup, that was at the bottom of the last page)

Hex #2 "Can She Bake a Cherry Pie?"

HEX #2 Oct 1985

"Can She Bake a Cherry Pie?"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira, art - Mark Texeira and Klaus Janson, cover

Two large US Army helicopters fly over the Viet Nam jungles in the 1960's. Several of the grunts inside are talking about several topics but mostly we get to know Winslow, the folksong playing soldier who has his guitar with him, Harris the angry black man, and Berkowitz the book nerd who is reading about wild west gunfighting. Suddenly a large blinding light appears in the sky and the lead helicopter vanishes into it. The second chopper (with our aforementioned soldiers) is also drawn into the light and suddenly appears directly above Jonah Hex on his motorcycle.

The pilots are unable to regain control of the helicopter and they crash in the Washington state desert. Two technicians that work for Reinhold Borsten see everything on a large viewscreen and notify Borsten of the accident. It seems that they inadvertantly captured two helicopters from the past instead of one. As they are displaying the scene of the wreckage, Borsten notices that Jonah Hex is on the scene and he orders that Hex be brought back to him.

At the crash site, Jonah has pulled several soldiers from the rubble. He is about to rescue some more when Harris tells him to stay back since the fuel tanks might explode. It just so happens that the three soldiers that we met are the only three to survive. Berkowitz introduces everyone but Harris isn't about to play nice nice with a white guy from the South. When Hex introduces himself, Berkowitz recognizes the name but doesn't say anything. Jonah quickly tells his story and tells them that they are outside Seattle but just then three huge rolling battle wheels come over the hill.

The machine guns that our boys are carrying do no good against the wheels, but Jonah realizes that there is a small slit in the firing dome and three slugs later there are three dead battle wheel drivers. Hex and the boys are able to commandeer one of the battle wheels (the other having crashed) and they take off across the wasteland.

Meanwhile, back at the 'Needle', Borsten is chewing out his lead commander for having failed to bring in Jonah Hex. Borsten will hear none of the commanders excuses but instead demands that 'the girl' be brought in. A woman walks in from the shadows and Borsten explains that he has a job for her and then we learn that she is STILETTA!!!

Several hours later, Hex is on his cycle with Berkowitz and Harris and Winslow are in the battle wheel. during the ride, Berkowitz verifies with Jonah that he disappeared in 1875 (LIAR!!!!). They finally decide that they are all in the future and that Borsten has the means to get them all home. They decide that they will need some bigger firepower to get in.

Winslow's father worked at a secret base outside Seattle, so they head that way, hoping there might be something leftover that they can use. They finally show up at the base and start searching some of the remaining buildings when they hear some growling. They turn and discover that the base is still guarded by robots dogs with friggin' lasers on their shoulders!!!

The robo-hounds shrug off normal firepower so Harris lobs a grenade and takes out one. Jonah leads another hound to a weak spot in the floor so that it falls through, but there is no way to stop the third one. The three Army men are trying to open a door at the end of the corridor and Hex attempts to slow down the robo-hound. The guys get the door open and are holding it for Hex but Jonah realizes that the dog is too close, if Hex gets inside the door, the hound will too. Jonah runs to the door and slams it shutting, turning to face the dog himself.

He's hoping to pull a Roy Schneider and put one bullet straight down the dog's gullet. The dog gets closer...closer, leaps and.... EXPLODES!! When the smoke clears...

Later we find the Army guys working on some sort of hovercraft that they have found and they are discussing Hex. Harris still ain't convinced that Jonah is nothing but a Confederate racist. Meanwhile, Jonah and Stiletta are outside the building making up for lost time.

Shortly they have the hovercraft functional but they still haven't solved the problem of getting inside the Needle. Stiletta explains that she can get them in, she knows the Needle like the palm of her hand. They do manage to get to the Needle and get in with no problem. Stiletta explains that there will be few guards at this time of night. Stiletta tells Hex and Harris to guard the rear while Winslow and Berkowitz follow Stiletta, who is taking point. As they are walking, we see a control room with Borsten watching a large screen that provides Stiletta's point of view.

Stiletta gets past one part of the hallway when suddenly Winslow and Berkowitz are struck by a red beam and killed. Harris goes absolutely bonkers. He starts screaming at Stiletta, accusing her of being a lying SOB just like Lyndon Johnson. Stiletta starts pleading for Hex to believe in her, but something clicks in her right eye. Then her right eye flashes red and goes dark ?!?! Harris grabs his gun and ...

Of course, Hex knocks the bejeezus outta Harris but then Harris walks over to Stiletta's corpse, reaches into her skull and pulls out her eye...her CAMERA EYE!! Harris explains that she is a robot and this whole thing is a setup.

Borsten sends in the troops to capture Hex and a huge gunfight ensues. Jonah starts to head down the corridor when he hears troops trying to outflank them but then an electric net springs up between him and Harris. Jonah manages to jump out of a window and commandeer another motorcycle, leaving Borsten's screams being heard throughout the Needle.

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - This is gonna be tough in this series with how often Hex is shooting into large groups of people, but here goes - 8
Running Total - 441 (428 past, 13 future)
Jonah's Injuries - Shot in left shoulder
Timeline - This one starts immediately after last issue. Hex and the guys spend a night in the Army base and it appears to be dawn when Jonah leaves the Needle (but I doubt that). We'll just call this a day and that night. Jonah has been in the future for one whole day!!

I really enjoyed this issue. I loved Texeira's work with the forced perspective and the way he used the panels at times I could almost feel camera movement. It started expanding the supporting cast around Hex and it showed that folks were going to die in this book and that we can't really trust everything we see (Stiletta a ROBOT?!?!?). The robot dogs and the War Wheels were kinds trite (Blackhawk fought War Wheels!) but all in all this is great fun (despite Harris being an 'angry Black man'). I especially liked Stiletta standing there saying "Did'ja miss me, tiger?" like some punk-future Mary Jane Watson.

Next Issue: Jonah takes on the drug dealers and gets beat up by a guy named BLOSSOM!!!!