Friday, February 27, 2009
Well, I guess it didn't work after all. Jimmy can't read the gorilla's mind, he HAS the gorilla's mind and vice versa. Of course, jungle Jimmy may hurt himself so the professor lets Gorilla Jimmy out the cage to rescue his own body.
Now remember, Jimmy had summoned Superman via the signal watch just a few seconds earlier. Supey shows up just in time to...
WAIT KIDS!! How many things can you see wrong with this picture?
1) Superman has a green leg.
2) Superman is hitting the tree.
3) Gorilla Jimmy and Jungle Jimmy appear to be .. uh...well, uh.. DON'T LOOK KIDS!!!!
4) The professor still hasn't contacted his attorney to keep his inventing arse from being sued from here to Texarkana!
After a good laugh, everything doesn't get sorted out by Superman. Supes tries to recreate the experiment to reverse the process, but even though he tried the over 65 million button combinations, they failed. But Jimmy has to get to work. Superman puts jungle Jimmy in a huge enclosed area on Perry White's estate and Gorilla Jimmy heads for work.
Gorilla Jimmy does a ton of good deeds around Metropolis, saving kids from burning buildings, holding up falling buildings while Superman fixes them, ya know, everyday cub reporter turned Gorilla in an orange suit whilst wearing a hat kinda stuff.
Anyway, Superman finally realizes that Jimmy's ultrasonic watch contributed to mind switch and he gives the mind machine to jungle Jimmy who presses the same combination of buttons that he did earlier. Jungle Jimmy is suddenly regular Jimmy! Yay! But Gorilla Jimmy is suddenly...
Wow, Superman, while you stopped off to get your cape bleached you were letting a rampaging gorilla loose at the Daily Planet. Ya know, for an old fart, Perry White has one helluva a vertical on him. Maybe the OKC Thunder should sign him up.
Anyway, that's the story of Gorilla Jimmy Olsen. But here is one last shot of Gorilla Jimmy and Jungle Jimmy.
Hee hee, Jungle Jimmy is scratching himself. hee hee hee
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Of course none of this takes away from the amazing courage and heroism that the character showed during the original Crisis. By sacrificing the way he did, he gave the other heroes of his and future generations a standard to live up to. He was held up as the model of what it was to be heroic. But only because of how his career ended. Not because of what he did while alive. My argument is just that Barry Allen inspired more people while he was dead that he did while he was alive. Heck, even Batman agrees with me:
And you can't argue with the goddamn Batman.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Jonah Hex #70 Mar 1983
"The Mountain of the Manitou!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover
Jonah is kicking the dead carcass of White Claw into a hastily dug grave outside the snowbound cabin where he and Emmy Lou Hartley were holed up. Emmy comes slowly out of the cabin and Jonah chastises her for being up and around so early after being stabbed. She says that she has been cooped up in that cabin for a month now (assuming she means from when she first brought Jonah there) and winter has started. If they don't leave soon, they'll be stuck there for the entire winter.
As they ride off, Emmy asks if Jonah is going to go after the last man responsible for Cassie Wainwright's death. Jonah tells her that fifteen years is too long to hold a grudge and he is just gonna move on.
Meanwhile, several miles away, Ernest Daniels is confessing his past sins to his pastor. He unloads, telling of the theft of $100,000.00 and the death of Cassie. Daniels explains how he has built an orphanage, the town hall and the school, all in an attempt to ease his guilt. The pastor suggests confessing to Cassie's husband and asking for forgiveness. Daniels explains that she had a fiancee and he thinks he knows where to locate him.
That evening, Daniels is packing his bags and he two grown sons are quizzing him about his travels. he explains that he has business with Jonah Hex, showing them a newspaper touting a headline about Jonah killing a hired gun in Gravesboro. He tells them he is heading for there in order to locate Hex.
Several hours later, we find Jonah and Emmy crouching behind some boulders on the outskirts of the Shoshone village where he recently escaped. Jonah is bound and determined to get his dragoons back. Jonah jumps out of his hiding place and beats the crap out of two sentries and sets fire to a tee pee to cause a distraction. Running through the camp, he ducks into the chief's tent, punches the old chief unconscious, grabs his holster, guns, and hat. Heading out of the camp, he catches an arrow in his right shoulder and guns down the Indian that wounded him. Running hell-bent for leather, Jonah finds Emmy waiting with a couple of horses and they make their escape.
Several hours later, they have set up camp and Emmy has removed the arrow from Jonah's shoulder when they hear gunfire. They head out to investigate.
The gunfire is coming from Jason Daniels (son of Ernest Daniels) and several men hiding atop a cliff, firing down on a carriage driven by Ernest Daniels and his other son Tim. Jason is hoping to kill his dad & brother in order to inherit the entire Daniels fortune. Just then Jonah & Emmy come running up and Jonah is just able to knock Daniels out of the way of more gunfire.
The four of them are holed up in a ditch when Daniels recognizes Jonah and vice versa. They are unable to make an escape into the woods, so Jonah has Emmy grab a rope from their horse and they all head for a nearby cliff. Jonah throws the rope around a large boulder and tosses it over the side, letting it snake towards the river below. Jonah orders everyone over the side. Daniels slides down, followed by Emmy, Tim and finally Jonah.
Sadly, the rope doesn't reach the river and the four of them are dangling in the air. Of course, the rope breaks, throwing the four of them into the raging river. They manage to grab onto a huge log and after several minutes of churning through the rapids, they hear the upcoming waterfall. Jonah, using the rope they still have, manages to lasso a tree on the bank and pull them all to safety.
Once on the shore, they make their way to a nearby cave in the cliff face to find shelter. All they find is a quick clubbing to the head.
When they awaken, they are all tied up and are face to face with the Great Manitou. Ke'tci Manitowa (aka Great Manitou) says that he knows they have been following him, trying to locate his secret shrine and learn of his plans. Several years ago the Manitou had a dream of a great war between the whites and the Indians. The Indians were almost completely wiped out, except for those who followed him to the great cave in the mountain, where he had stockpiled provisions. For decades the Indians hid in the mountains and when they finally emerged they started a massive war against the whites, killing them all and returning the land to the Indians with the Manitou as their god.
Jonah starts to tell the Manitou what he thinks but all he gets is a kick in the face for his troubles. The Manitou then reveals that it will be HE that will start this war between the whites and the Indians and he will start it tonight by exploding a cliff over the Little Rainbow River, blocking the river and flooding the entire Campanas Valley. He will plant an Indian medallion at the scene of the explosion and the whites will riot against the Nazis....uh, the Indians. Anyway, the Manitou finishes his rant, gathers up his minions and departs.
Left guarded by a lone Indian, Jonah thinks of how to escape. He tells Emmy to pull some bullets from his gunbelt. She pulls them out and hands them to Jonah. Hex manages to flip the bullets into a nearby fire. When they go off, Jonah tells the Indian that it's their friends come to rescue them. As the Indian comes closer, Jonah launches himself headfirst into the Indian's groin. The Indian knocks himself out on a rock and Emmy is able to grab the knife that the guard dropped.
Emmy cuts everyone loose and they begin their escape. Sadly they can only locate one horse, so Jonah decides to head out on his own but he is suddenly stopped by Jason Daniels and three of his thugs. Jason is there to collect on his inheritance!!!
Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - 1
Running Total - 378
Jonah's Injuries - knocked out, arrow in right shoulder, kicked in the face
Timeline - Probably only a few days after last issue. This book covers one day, a night, and into the next day. Jonah once again states that we are 15 years past the death of Cassie, putting us in 1874. UPDATE: Nov 1877
This book is another example of Fleisher interweaving multiple plots. We have the Manitou, Jonah's revenge on Daniels, Daniel's son, and more of Emmy. It's a pretty good issue, the crazy Indian doesn't make much sense, but he's a crazy Indian, so how much sense does he HAVE to make?
Next Issue: we wrap up the Cassie revenge story, the Manitou gets what he deserves, and Jonah goes shopping for jewelry, fine Mexican jewelry.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Yup, all of their tolerance really brightened my day. Thanks Hollywood, for giving one of our greatest actors a sitting non-vation.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Batman says that he fights for justice, not money to which Jonah flips him a gold coin, telling Bats to get a decent hat.
End of intro. No explanation of WHEN this took place or how it took place. Then we are in China where an old Kung-Fu master is being attacked by three evil martial artists, former students..The Terrible Trio (Shark, Vulture & Fox). Of course the Bronze Tiger gets involved, the Top gets beat up, Batman has ancient Chinese flashback and the Haney-vision button on my remote melts in self-defense.
Have I said how much I enjoy this show??? You can watch it here
I finally managed to wrangle some free time away from my job and other random things to get to Barnes and Noble so I could "free-read" some trades I had missed out on.
Honestly, I'm not sure I really like Frank Miller all that much. I mean, I enjoyed The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Returns was ok, but Sin City isn't really how I roll and I enjoyed 300 the movie more than the book (awful, I know). All that aside, it was all I could do to not laugh out loud while reading this book. Batman's running train of thought is perfect for his 21st century characterization (Note: I think it's important to clarify the 21st century thing because I'm not sure this is how Bats should actually be written, but it's how he's being written so...).
Overall, a great book. I especially loved the yellow room and how Hal is just a complete and total moron compared to Bats. Almost dying because of an inexperienced Robin: Not cool. Being taunted with lemonade: Freakin hilarious. Take that Guardians of the Universe! My one gripe with the story is how easily Dick becomes Robin. Seriously he doesn't flip out or anything? Disbelief....suspension.....reaching....limit.....
There's no way Grant Morrison could have actually written this book, but I'll get to that later. Absolutely loved this story. Characterization was great, Clark acting like a bumbling but lovable idiot (while saving people in the background) was great. As usual I remain in the minority for not liking Quietly's artwork...at all. I mean, it's good, just not my style. Didn't like him back when he was doing New X-Men with Morrison and I still don't like him. Only person I've ever seen who can make Emma and Jean into hideous man-like figures, but whatever. Great story, great dialogue (Random side note: Why is blogger telling me this is spelled wrong? Proof I'm smarter than the interwebs).
Ok, back to why someone else wrote this story. It was entirely too coherent. I actually understood it all in one read. And that had me worried because I have this theory about Grant Morrison. Bear with me because this could be a little hard to follow. There was an episode of Family Guy where Lois finds out that Peter is a prodigy on the piano but only when he's drunk. That's exactly how I think Morrison writes. He has to be sitting at his computer or in his living room getting ready to go on a 48 hour writing binge and just drink everything he can get his hands on and then snort, shoot, or smoke every drug he can find. This is the only explanation for what he comes up with. And that brings us to...
Weirdest story I've ever read. And this is coming from the guy who's dad has the largest single collection of Weird Western Tales in the world. The entire idea of Bats creating a subconscious identity for himself in case of a post hypnotic attack AND THEN MAKING THAT IDENTITY ANOTHER BATMAN is one of three things:
1. Pure genius
2. Absolutely the most ludicrous thing I've ever read
3. The highest of high comedy
and the best part... I can't decide which it is! Having absolutely no backstory and for some reason expecting this "event" to stand on its own (which it did better than I expected after finishing the first page) I managed to follow the story for the most part. The Joker was amazingly insane, people randomly disappeared with no explanation, in perfect Morrison fashion, only to reappear later, people lived, people "died", and everything was drawn beautifully. Not sure I would recommend this to someone who didn't either follow Batman or enjoy Morrison but then again, I doubt it was written for anyone else. So...
Followed this from the beginning but I don't really think it should ever be considered as anything BUT a trade because that's just not how Grant Morrison rolls. Seriously, reading his stuff issue to issue is like watching the middle five minutes of LOST every week and that's it. I even went and bought the two Superman Beyond issues so dad would stop whining. Taken as a whole I really think this was about what I expected. After the 2 recent Crises failed miserably to live up to the original (which kicked ass and took names in my humble opinion) and the fact that the Idiot-in-Chief over at DC was prominently involved, I wasn't optimistic. So, read as a whole, I actually enjoyed this, even if it was so far out there I had to trip out on LSD sometimes to feel like I belonged.
So there's your introduction to my ridiculously rambling writing style (and my alliterative ability). Hope it doesn't scare you away. Stay tuned for why Sally's blog may cost you a fortune...and why that's a good thing. Coming soon!
Cuz the ones he knows are absolutely chimp-flipping crazy!!!!!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Anyway, he's a big boy now and is actually purchasing some books of his own (when he isn't camped out at Barnes & Noble reading every trade they have). So please give a big round of applause and big Matching Dragoons welcome to...
*teeny-tiny disclaimer- In high school I created a character named Parrallax that could travel between all of the multiverse.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Eye-Piercing Tales #10 Oct 1958
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
and I realized that if I had been there I would have stood up and said this,
"President Obama, I have $200 in my pocket right now that I will GIVE to Ms. Hughes on a few conditions. First, I expect everyone else in this room to reach into their pockets and give what they can in order to help this poor woman and that includes you, Mr. President, and you Mr. Governor. Because, the Declaration of Independence starts with the words "We, The People.." and that means the people of this country help one another voluntarily."
"Folks may say that we can't help Ms. Hughes, but I say Yes, we can. All of us in this room can give voluntarily from our hearts to help this woman, rather than have the Federal Government forcibly TAKE the money from us, waste about 45% of it in overhead costs, mismanagement and theft, and then end up building Ms Hughes a kitchen that doesn't work and giving her a toilet that doesn't flush."
"Second, I would like you, Mr. President to study up on Davy Crockett, who was once in a similar situation and realized that the money is not his to give. It is not yours to give Mr. President. It is mine to give. It is mine to decide who shall receive, it is mine to watch carefully over."
"Third, I rescind my statement that I would only give to Ms. Hughes based on the two prior conditions, because my actions and charity should not be based on the actions and thoughts of others. It should not be based on the Federal and state governments taking 40% of my income to give to people to lie, cheat, and steal. I will gladly give this money to Ms. Hughes, of my own free will, because I have compassion and every year I have given more money to charity than Vice President Joe Biden has given to all charities in a ten year period."
"We can do it. 'We, the people'. Not 'You, the Government'. It is up to individuals to help one another and stop looking to the government to pick up the slack on the rope we have laid down. Pick up the rope with me, pull your own weight, and if you see someone that can't pull their own weight, bend down, pick up their rope and help them pull as well."
"Here you go Ms. Hughes, and I'm sure that President Obama, a man who, along with his wife, last year made over $4 million dollars, will happily match it dollar for dollar, or even 10 to 1, with money from his own personal accounts."
On a side note, I think Erik E. asks a few good questions:
You know you cannot just “enter” an Obama town hall meeting. They give out tickets in advance. Who gets the tickets? People who stand in line and wait. Who tells people when and where Obama will appear next?
Certainly not the Secret Service who has to protect this man. Not the MSM, who are too busy telling us how great he is without asking any critical questions.
Sooooo… how does a 61 year-old homeless woman who’s living in a pickup truck with her son JUST HAPPEN to get a ticket so she can VERY PUBLICALLY ask Prez. Obama for a HOUSE? Anyone? Who pushes her up on stage? She’s right at the front of the crowd. Did she just happen to get a seat there?
Now, within moments of this happening, it’s trumpeted all over the news. AND, surprise, surprise, the wife of State Representative Nick Thompson, Chene Thompson JUST HAPPENS to have a spare house worth $150,000 lying around, so she GIVES it to this unemployed, homeless, living-in-a-truck woman. They’ve been homeless for “more than a year”, which coincidentally, predates the current housing and banking crisis by quite a while. How did they learn about the “Obama Town Hall and Tent Revival”? Were homeless people simply rounded up? Did someone pre-canvas the area in search of “great, tear-jerking stories”? Of all the people in the audience, SHE’S one of the ones Obama chooses to ask a question?
BTW-the taxes which will be charged on this “free house” will bankrupt the poor woman. Taxes are levied based on the home’s assessed value, not on the basis of it being a “free gift”.
We now return to our regular comic book silliness.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Secret Six #6 It's interesting that the cover doesn't appear in the book but happens right after the book ends. I, for one was appalled at the unveiling of Junior, surprised at what Janette really is, and completely dumbfounded by what happens at the end of the book. After finishing it, I felt like Catman on the cover. But, it was a great book.
El Diablo #6. Ehh. I bought this series because of the title. It did have Lazarus Lane in it, but it just didn't click with me. I won't pick it up if it becomes a regular title.
Birds of Prey #126 hmmmm, not sure if I liked this one or not. I always enjoyed the Caclulator (even when he was a backup villian) and I'm not sure if I enjoy this new incarnation or not. It does set-up for the end of the book and gives a good intro to the end of Oracle. I'm not happy about either outcome.
Batman: The Brave and the Bold #1 The art was more cartoony than I liked but I have to admit this might go onto my pull list. Heck, Jonah Hex is on the cover!!! This looks to be a fun book.
Jonah Hex #40 Dear God in heaven, every page of this story made my stomach churn. It was grisly, it was gorey, it was totally uncalled for and it is one of the best stories in this 3+ year run. This one was even darker than the 'little piggies' story. I still get chills thinking back over it. Brrrrr.
Final Crisis #7 Okay, I have now officially urinated away $28. Honestly, halfway through this issue I put it down and started reading something else! Yeah, tell me that since I didn't buy all the cross-overs I didn't get the whole story. Yeah, I'll tell ya that I shouldn't have to spend quadruple the amount of money to still get a lousy story. When it comes out in trade I probably WON'T spend an evening in B&N reading it. I'm now officially not buying anymore DC big events.
Blue Beetle #35 This book continues to be good, even when it is sliding into cancelation.
The Brave and the Bold #21 I've never been a GL fan and when the talk turns to Oans my brain turns off. I ended up putting this one down to read something else.
The Haunted Tank #3 I haven't gotten to this one yet.
Friday, February 06, 2009
Wow, this sucks on so many levels but I have to give it up for Harvey for including that WARNING to CIVILIANS to NEVER! NEVER! NEVER touch a radio-active bomb!!!
They give us a glimpse on the cover of the wonders of the hand, but the splash page promises so much more...crap.
Let's take a closer look at that hand (which, by the way, was installed after our hero actually stuck his hand inside an atomic bomb and his left hand melted off!!)
Hmmm, his index finger can knock you unconscious or shatter an engine block. (hope he doesn't get the settings confused on that one.) If he flips you off, he's just using the X-Ray probe (Feel free to insert any jokes right here.) His thumb is a camera, his pinky is a digital recorder. It's like he has a freaking i-Hand or something.
But who does he battle? The Whisperer! And everyone knows...
Chillin' like a Villian!!
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Non-Stop Comics #1 (first series) June, 1933
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
A few minutes Leonard makes mention that Green Lantern has two $50's in his ass. With God and my Lovely Wife as my witness, I almost spewed ice tea halfway across the living room.
Thanks, Sally & Sea, for making Hal Jordan's Gluteus Maximi one of the high points of my week.
Superman & Batman Generations 3 #8 Oct 2003
"Century 19 History Lesson: Part Two"
John Byrne, Story, Art, & Cover
How's THAT for the most unwieldy book title evar?!?!?
Okay, I have to admit, I have absolutely no idea what is going on here, but it's Elseworlds, so it doesn't really matter now, does it? I can say that Batman & Superman are involved and I think it's Superman's daughter and Darkseid is there as well as Metron on Scott Free. So hang on, we're in for a bumpy ride.
Batman and Lara tear open an old coffin and find Superman alive!!! Superman relates some of the back story and how he ends up time-traveling and landing in Smallville, Kansas, 50 years before he landed there as a child. If we're talking about the 1938 landing, it would place him in 1888.
Anyway, Superman changes into his Clark Kent duds and walks into town and learns that Scott Free is the town sheriff. He also learns that Metron is helping out around town. Anyway, they talk some about time travel and then they decide to let their one prisoner free. The prisoner promises to be good and then walks across the street to talk to a woman.
The man, Jonny, is talking about getting revenge for what happened back in the Civil War but the woman, Em, doesn't want him to go through with it. The object of the revenge? Well, he's sitting across the street in a saloon, enjoying lunch...
Anyway, Em talks to Superman, asking if he can talk sense into Jonny. And she asks his name. Superman replies that his name is Clark Kent. Em is aghast. She says that Jonny's last name is Kent and her name is Martha Clark!!
Now Superman is in a quandry. There is no record of his dad fighting Jonah Hex, but he can't let theh man be gunned down, but he can't interfere in history!! Seems that Jonah Hex is hunting a killer named Caleb Lamb. Anyway, tomorrow comes and with it, high noon....
Jonah doesn't get any farther in his sentence before Jonny interrupts him. The shot that just nicked Hex went across the street and struck down Martha Kent. They take Martha to the only doc in town but ha can't do a thing.
Metron jumps on his chair and flies to Metropolis and gets a doctor (blindfolding him for the trip back). The doc is able to get the bullet, but he says that Martha will never have children. After that, Jonny proposes to her and Metron solves the problem of getting Superman back to his own time.
Yup, it's the huge coffin thing at the start of the story. It was actually a suspended animation chamber. The last two pages have Darkseid gloating as only he can, but I haven't read the seven previous issues and I couldn't care less.
Statistics for this Issue
They don't really count, since this is Elseworlds, but Jonah guns down Caleb Lamb.
It was nice to see a Byrne Hex. Pretty ugly and fairly true to form. Since it is a Superman/Batman book, Jonah does shoot a gun out of Jonathon's hand.
Next week: we head back into our regular Jonah Hex continuity.