Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!!

 I ran this one back in 2009 and it is still just as funny, to me, as it was then

Weird Western Tales #66 "The Devil's Pay"

 Weird Western Tales #66 Apr 1980

"The Devil's Pay"

Gerry Conway, story - Dick Ayers & Romeo Tanghal, art - Luis Dominguez, cover 

Pittsburgh, Mid-December, 1862

Scalphunter, wounded in the left thigh by the crazy Confederates and racked with fever, makes his way through the streets hoping to find some sort of help. Three Neer-do-wells (How do you do well? Neer!) observe his compromised state and figure him for easy pickings. They follow him as he staggers into an alley way and smite him with a blackjack, knocking him to the ground. As the first of the ruffians approaches to search the body for loot, all he obtains is a warrior's knife between his ribs as Scalphunter lunges upwards with the weapon.

Scalphunter makes his way to his feet and engages in battle against the three men when suddenly a shot pierces the day and the first ruffians right arm. A red-haired woman leans out of a window, smoking pistol in hand and in her best Scottish accent warns them all to leave of she'll ventilate them to nobody's liking. As they leave Scalphunter collapses and she rushes downstairs and into the alley.

Some time later, Scalphunter vaguely awakens to find himself on a cot in her home, a local doctor assessing his wound and it is not good news. The bullet has brought with it infection and it must be removed. Candace states that she has every confidence in the doctor, along with her four siblings, but when the physician produces his scalpel, Scalphunter grabs his arm and tells him not to cut. Even though he is weak with fever, Scalphunter's grip on the doctor's arm cannot be broken. Candace comes over to him and gently reassures Scalphunter that Dr. MacGregor is skilled and Scalphunter must be brave and trust them. Finally Scalphunter relents and gives permission with a silent nod.

During the surgery, held under lamplight, and with Candace holding him down, Scalphunter's screams echo throughout the neighborhood. An unknown time later, he awakens to a small girl asking if he is hungry. She slides a chair over to the pot-bellied stove and takes down a large pot of soup, serving it up for the warrior. As the Kiowa brave and the small girl talk, he learns that there is hardly enough food for the family and at night Candace cries well into the night. Scalphunter asks where the others are and she says they are at the factory, they left hours before dawn. Scalphunter starts to stand and she says he has to stay in bed, but Scalphunter pays her no heed and gets out of bed, only to collapse in pain.

Much later he awakens to Candace gently telling him that he almost undid the the good work of the doctor and he has to stay in bed for now. She gets the others fed and into bed and Scalphunter watches her intently, her gentleness and her strength. Her compassion in taking care of others and her bravery in facing adversity and as he lies there, she takes a moment and stares into his eyes and then she decides to take care of ALL of his needs!!!!

The next few days eventually finds Scalphunter on his feet and walking with the family. They walk through the town and he sees the filthy smoke pouring out of the factories, a stark contrast to the December snow that tries to blanket everything in white. Scalphunter says that he wishes to repay her for her kindness but Candace says she has not asked for anything, he cannot repay something that is not owed. Her life has been incredibly lonely but now that she has found Ke-Woh-No-Tey, she is no longer and that is all the payment she could ever expect. They embrace and kiss and the Kiowa brave allows a smile to come across his face.

Less than a week later, Scalphunter catches up to Candace as she and the others head to work. He states that he wanting to work to repay her family for the food he has eaten and he joins them in lining up for the entrance to the foundry. Candace introduces him to Mr. Tyson who agrees to hire him at the rate of five cents a day (or about $1.60 in 2025).

Scalphunter starts working and sees men maimed with splashing molten steel, almost crushed by falling equipment and through all of that, there is no concern amongst the factory owners, for labor is cheap and life is cheaper. After a ten minute lunch break they are all back to work and after several more hours, Scalphunter witnesses Candace stumble and accidentally splash a bucket of water on Mr. Tyson.

Tyson reacts with a slur and the back of his hand and Scalphunter reacts as a true man should, grabbing a rope and climbing up to the catwalk where the altercation is taking place. Tyson produces a blackjack and Scalphunter grabs him and throws him over the railing to his death on the concrete floor below. Several workers are ordered to bring Scalphunter down. As they climd the ladders, Scalphunter grabs Candace and begs her to leave with him, they will run far from this evil and live free.

She says that she can't, her siblings will starve and Scalphunter asks if the war is being fought to free the slaves why are they still treating people as if they will forever be enslaved to the factory? She says that he doesn't understand and he agrees. By that time the workers have gotten up to their level and Scalphunter leaps into them like a caged animal, finally grabbing a rope and swinging to safety, knocking the factory owner to the floor before he dashes out the exit and into the city streets.

Tears fill his eyes as he thinks not of what he has lost but how is also abandoning those he has come to cherish. Finally, he stands atop a nearby hill, overlooking the smoke and terror of the town and the factories below.

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Scalphunter - Just one, Mr. Tyson whose skull was crushed in the fall

Running Total - 126

Compared to Jonah Hex - 27th appearance and Scalphunter has 126 vs Jonah's 111 (in WWT #37)

Scalps Taken - 0

Running Total - 20

Injuries - Show in the calf.

Timeline -  This issue covers a few weeks.

I enjoyed this one quite a bit given that Scalphunter was depicted as having actual fear knowing what a surgeon could possibly do to a man (probably from having seen the butchers on the battlefield hospitals) as well as the love and compassion that he displayed towards Candace (and not just for the, eh-hem, OBVIOUS reasons). Man's inhumanity to man was on full display, a stark contrast to the grace and generosity of Candace and her siblings. The cover was top notch with the colors knocking it out of the park.

Ads in this issue were:

Wonder Woman and Twinkies catch The Borrower

An in house ad for a digest for Top 10 Stories of 1979 (with Jonah and Scalphunter on the cover) known as Best of DC Blue Ribbon Digest #5 with the story Minister of the Lord from Jonah Hex #25  

Next Issue: Gerry Conway pays homage to John Huston as we all go on a treasure hunt.

Weird Western Tales #65 "Children of the Storm"

 Weird Western Tales #65 Mar 1980

"Children of the Storm"

Gerry Conway, story - Dick Ayers & Romeo Tanghal, art - Luis Dominguez, cover 

Late November, 1862. Northern Virginia and Scalphunter is driving his horse headlong through a driving rain as mounted Confederates give chase, guns ablazing. His mind flashes back a few hours ago when he parted ways with Bat Lash and Kitty, as they headed for Chicago and Scalphunter decided to return to Washington D.C. and reunite with President Lincoln. However, he crossed paths with a Confederate patrol and everything went South, as it were.

As he makes his way down the road he finally comes to a cliff with a destroyed bridge. He reigns his horse to a stop and realizes he has a split second to make a decision, either surrender or try to jump the chasm. Of course, this is not really a choice for a Kiowa brave. He kicks his pony into full gear and they both sail across the 15-20 foot space. Two of the Confederates and their horses tumble headlong to their deaths (I won't credit Scalphunter with these deaths since the damn fool soldiers did it of their own accord).

On the edge of the bridge in the pounding rain, Sgt Rawlins and Lt Heeley consider their future options. Rawlins suggests they turn back since the boundary of the their patrol area was half a mile back. Heeley, however invokes a code of honor and that the deaths of their comrades must be avenged. Rawlins said their orders are to patrol and report, but Heeley says they can ford the river about a half mile down stream and if he hears another word out of Rawlins, he'll be shot for insubordination. Rawlins caves but realizes something is very very wrong.

Scalphunter continues down the road and encounters and approaching wagon filled with an entire life of possessions and driven by an old man and his grandson. Scalphunter sees in their eyes they are refugees of the war. The old man asks if Scalphunter is heading north. He explains the boy's mother is dead, but she has family up in Pennsylvania and he is taking the boy there. The boy's father is off fighting the war and a Unions patrol burned down their farm last week. He thinks they should be getting out while they can and asks if Scalphunter will ride with them for a bit. 

Ke-Woh-No-Tey considers for a bit, with the old man saying that he nor the boy would be worth anything in a fight. Ke-Woh-No-Tey says that he cannot ride with them, he has his own ghosts and he kicks his horse onward, leaving the wagon behind. He hasn't traveled yet a hundred yards before he hears the crack of a rifle and he horse crashes into the mud. He lies in the mud as the gunfire, delivered by Heeley, continues to pierce the rain. Then Scalphunter hears the wagon coming and the old man is driving the horse for all it is worth and as they pass Scalphunter, the old man reaches down and grabs Scalphunter up into the wagon. The Confederates see this, Heeley is seething and Rawlins smiles.

As the wagon continues off into the storm, the old man makes introductions. He is Jericho Jenkins and the boy is Jesse. Scalphunter introduces himself as Ke-Woh-No-Tey, a Kiowa. Back with the Confederates, Rawlins is saying they must turn back but Heeley says that everything is clear to him. The Indian is a Yankee spy and they have to make sure he doesn't get back to his camp alive. 

The three in the wagon turn off the main road to take an overgrown path that leads them to a derelict farmhouse. Jericho thinks they can hide the wagon inside and the rain will wash away their tracks. The horse shies at entering the house, but Scalphunter calms it with one word. Jesse asks his grandpa why are they trusting the Indian. If the soldiers want him, why not just turn him over? Jericho says that the soldiers tried to kill Scalphunter. Jesse says maybe he's a Yankee and all Yankees are scum.

Jericho strikes that talk right out of Jesses' mouth. He tells the boy that talk like that is a sickness, just like this war. People are people, no matter where they are from, and you don't kill people, even in a war. War has destroyed their home, their farm, their lives and he doesn't want any more hate.. just then a bullet crashes through the window and shatters the kerosene lamp. Scalphunter knocks them to the floor and tells them to stay put while he distracts the soldiers.

Scalphunter makes his way out the back of the house and comes up behind the soldiers. The pouring rain has turned into a deluge and the Confederates don't hear him cutting their horses loose until he stampedes the horses straight into the soldiers. In fear several soldiers open fire, killing two of their own, Carpenter and Stone. Stone was trampled and his rifle discharged into Carpenter's throat. 

Heeley tells hism to never mind the men, they have to catch the Indian. Rawlins is appalled at that statement and blames Heeley for the men's deaths. Rawlins gets the butt of Heeley's rifle right in the chops for his voiced concern. With their entire patrol dead, Heeley tells Rawlins to get to his feet and follow him or he'll be hung as a coward and a traitor. They give chase through the darkening storm and Heeley fires one round stroking Scalphunter in the right calf.

Scalphunter topples into the mud as the two soldiers close in. Heeley raises his rifle to take aim when suddenly Jericho bursts forth through the rain, taking Heeley by surprise. The Lt and the old man grapple in the rain, the thunder punctuating their struggle until another burst of thunder comes forth. Heeley's rifle goes off, striking Jericho in the head and Jesse screams for his grandpa.

Jesse, consumed by rage, rushes at Heeley and Heeley spins, leveling his rifle. He doesn't care who he shoots, be it boy, old man, or Indian, they are all Yankees and worthy of his wrath. And then, the wrath of another is displayed as an errant bolt of lightning races from the clouds and makes contact with the firing pin in Heeley's rifle. 

A clap of thunder and the smell of burning flesh and Heeley drops to the ground, dead. Jesse kneels by his grandpa, saying that he was right, war does make everyone crazy.

Rawlins raises his rifle, takes aim at Scalphunter. Ke-Woh-No-Tey stares at him through the pelting storm and Rawlins turns his head, casts his rifle into the mud and walks off. Scalphunter walks over to Jesse and tells him "No, boy. Not everyone..."

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Scalphunter - 1. I'm only giving Scalphunter the death of Stone, who was trampled. The other deaths were either accidents, foolishness, or an act of God.

Running Total - 125

Compared to Jonah Hex - 26th appearance and Scalphunter has 124 vs Jonah's 103 (in WWT #37)

Scalps Taken - 0

Running Total - 20

Injuries - Shot in the calf.

Timeline -  This issue covers just a few hours.

I really enjoyed this one. Heeley's descent into madness in direct contrast to Jericho's willingness to turn against all war and realize people are worth saving was very well done. Nobody draws the eyes of madness better than Romeo, he worked on the horror/mystery books for years and he can expertly place darkness around the eyes, making the eyes seem that much more crazed and Heeley had that in spades. Also, the brutal murder of Jericho was something out of an old EC book (that is twice in two issues that we have encountered very brutal deaths). I also enjoyed the pounding rain and the storm until it became a force unto itself.

All in all a great issue.

Ads for this month included 1941 (the movie)

Sea-Monkeys

Hawkman and saving a skydiver and Hotess cup-cakes

and a great in house ad for the Super-Star Holiday Spectacular!

Next Issue: It's a hot time (in more ways than one) in the old town tonight as Scalphunter arrives in Pittsburgh.

Weird Western Tales #64 "With Friends Like These..."

 Weird Western Tales #64 Feb 1980

"With Friends Like These..."

Gerry Conway, story - Dick Ayers & Romeo Tanghal, art - Luis Dominguez, cover 

Our tale starts immediately after the prior issue, with Bat Lash turning his friend, Ke-Woh-No-Tey, over to the Confederate court. Scalphunter quickly starts battling his way to freedom but Willie Wilson draws his pistol and puts a slug into Scalphunter's shoulder. He prepares to fire again but Bat steps in front of him. Willie realizes that they are all fair men, so the Indian will get his trial before he hangs.

Later that night, in the cold November Richmond darkness, Bat is rolling dice and taking names at a gambling house and he is living large. He notices an older man head upstairs with a fair lady, spies which room they slip into and then he clambers up the outside of the building and drops in on the couple via an open window.

The next day, the old man, Judge Clammerhorn, makes his way to the courthouse to witness Scalphunter's trial. He sees that the verdict is Guilty and Scalphunter is led away, to be executed at dawn. Later that day, the judge pays a visit to the jail and is allowed entrance into Scalphunter's cell. The guard leaves them and the judge removes his wig and glasses, revealing himself to be BAT LASH!!!!!

Scalphunter lunges at Lash and grabs him around the neck but Bat quickly explains  that having Scalphunter arrested was the only way to save his own skin. He knew that he couldn't get himself out of prison, but of course, he would be able to free Scalphunter. Bat explains the ruse of pretending to be the judge in order to scope out the prison and sadly, there is no way out, but Bat being who he is, is working on an effective plan B. Bat whispers some directions to Scalphunter and then leaves, once again disguised as the judge.

Walking down the street, he is greeted by Lt Willie Wilson, with whom he had spoken with earlier in the day at the trial. Wilson pulls a pistol and reveals that he knows the judge is an imposter and guides Bat into a nearby garment mill. Once inside, Wilson explains that he knows the judge had no interest in military justice, only wine and women, then demands to know who the judge really is.

Bat quickly strikes out at Wilson with his cane and the two men engage in hand to hand combat in the machine area of the millery. Lash grabs a bolt of cloth, entangling Wilson in it and as they fight tooth and nail, Lash falls backward, grabbing Wilson and throwing him overhead, right into a huge fabric folding machine! The times being what they are, there are no safety measures on the machine and it starts up, steaming and folding the poor man.

That night, Bat Lash is resting in the 'business' of Kitty, the woman that runs the gambling establishment, among other things. Bat asks her for some help against the Confederate army and she says she would gladly help with anything that goes against men who think more highly of their horses than of their women.

The next morning, Scalphunter is bound to a post in the courtyard of a fort. The firing squad is assembling before the Captain of the fort and Lt Wilson is on hand. The sun rises over the wall of the fort, blazing into Scalphunter's eyes. He thinks of the many times he has been warmed by the sun, first in the Missouri hills and then across the rest of the country, through the wilderness and the cities and then he nods farewell to the sun. Then, as the command is given to open fire, Kitty and her girls hurl large bolts of cloth off the fort walls down onto the firing squad, tossing them into turmoil and spoiling their aim.

Just then, Lt Wilson doffs his hat to reveal Bat Lash to the astonishment of the Captain. Bat punches the Captain and frees Scalphunter. Then the Indian, the Gambler and Kitty and the girls load up and head out. Later on the road heading north out of Richmond, they stop for a moment of rest. Kitty suggests they head much further north, perhaps to Chicago. Bat agrees and asks if Scalphunter is angry about all of this. Brian thinks for a moment and then smiles. Bat quips now he knows why Brian Savage rarely smiles.

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Scalphunter - 0

Running Total - 124

Compared to Jonah Hex - 25th appearance and Scalphunter has 124 vs Jonah's 97 (in WWT #36)

Scalps Taken - 0

Running Total - 20

Injuries - Shot in the shoulder.

Timeline -  This issue covers two days.

This one wasn't a great one. Bat Lash had a mediocre plan to save his own skin and really put Scalphunter's life in danger. This was much more of a Bat Lash story than a Scalphunter tale, but the title of the book is Weird Western Tales, not SCALPHUNTER. The highlight of the story was the absolute horrible death suffered by Wilson, it was something out of either an E.C. comic or a Stephen King short story. Artwork was good, the cover was not very inspiring.

Ads in this issue included

Start Trek the Motion Picture

Batman and Twinkies take on Professor Plutonium (Man I would LOVE for someone to revive all these Hostess villains as actual threats!)

Timewarp #3

and a two page spread for 1941

Next Issue: More crazed Confederates, an old man and his grandson, plus the wrath of God