Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Jonah catches a right to jaw, delivered by a man named Tiny! From the double-crossing Jonah Hex #2
Monday, June 29, 2009
Jonah Hex #79 Dec. 1983
"Duel in the Sand!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover
Jonah stops to offer a stranger a drink from his canteen, unaware that he has been set up by Homer & Wilbur so they can collect the bounty on the head of Jonah Hex. Jonah hears the click of the rifle pointed at his back and he starts to dodge but isn't quick enough. He takes a bullet in the side as he dives from his horse. Jonah swiftly draws his pistol and shoots Homer right between the eyes.
Wilbur opens fire and Jonah is barely able to mount his horse and ride off. Wilbur comes out of hiding and runs to his brother. But sadly, his brother has been shot dead center between the eyes, so he is only able to get out two whole sentences before he expires. Wilbur is racked with grief over his brother's death and vows to make Jonah Hex pay for what has happened.
Meanwhile, back at the state pen, Quentin Turnbull is riding roughshod over Warden Davies, berating him for allowing Jonah Hex to escape prison. Davies points out that even if Jonah gets the letter from the late Gov. Phelps, they can still frame Jonah for the murder of Phelps.
Several hours later, Jonah, wounded, is riding across the desert with Wilbur dogging his trail. Sadly for Jonah, Wilbur has a Sharps 74 long rifle (with a range of 500 yards) against Jonah's 30.06. Wilbur lets Jonah sweat it out under the desert sun and at just the right time Wilbur shoots the horse out from under Hex. Jonah gets tossed into the sand and ends up having to finish off his horse. He grabs his canteen and starts walking.
Meanwhile, Emmy Lou is trying to figure out where Jonah has gone since he left a week ago and she just keeps getting madder & madder.
Back in the desert, Wilbur is conserving his canteen of water and gets the bright idea to relieve Jonah of his supply. Wilbur takes careful aim and just as Jonah is getting a drink, he drills a hole right through that canteen. Jonah claws madly at the sand as his water seeps through his fingers. From a rocky outcrop, Wilbur shouts that he is going to watch Jonah die a slow death. Hex grabs his pistol and fires, but the bullets fall far shy of their target.
Elsewhere, J D Hart has located the body of Homer. He knows of Wilbur & Homer and figures that this is some of Jonah's handiwork. JD realizes that he needs to hurry up not just for Jonah's sake, but Mei Ling's as well.
While the time has passed, a sandstorm has picked up, blocking out the sun and pelting Jonah with stinging sand. Staggering through the blasting sand, Jonah comes upon a water hole. He drops down and starts to drink when he sees the sign indicating that the hole is poisoned. In a wild rage, Jonah grabs the sign, breaks it in half, tosses it amidst the storm and then curses God Himself.
Meanwhile, Mei Ling is lighting candles and praying for the safety of Jonah Hex.
The storm has abated as swiftly as it started and Jonah is crawling across the cracked desert floor. He is begging for water when he hears the voice of his father, Woodson, berating Ginny for giving him such a spineless son. Ginny starts crying about how she has failed her husband and Woodson blames all of his drinking upon his tramp of a wife and his worthless son.
Jonah starts shouting at the hallucination, telling his mother that he can stand on his own two feet and with a strength from center of his being, Jonah Hex stands up in the desert and struggles on.
Meanwhile (yup, we're gonna check up on everyone here), Quentin Turnbull is dining as best he can in a western town. He gloats that Jonah Hex will soon be destroyed and that he can return to his own business. Turnbull makes mention of advising President Grant on inflation and debt (placing this, at the latest, between Jan 1877 & March 4th, 1877) .
Back in the desert, Wilbur is starting to suffer the effects of the sun as well. He has reached the last of his water, following Jonah Hex in the circles of his wandering. Wilbur comes over a rise and finds Jonah Hex dead, next to a watering hole. Wilbur starts laughing at the irony of Hex being dead just inches from water and he starts gulping down the liquid. Suddenly he realizes how foul the water tastes and he starst getting cramps. That is when he sees the remnants of the shattered Poison sign. Wilbur curses Hex for having killed him and then collapses next to Jonah.
The vultures descend to start their feast when suddenly JD Hart runs up, guns blazing...
Statistics for this Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - I can't really give credit to Jonah for the death of Wilbur, but he nailed Homer a good one. 1
Running Total - 408
Jonah's Injuries - Shot in the right side, heatstroke
Timeline - This one happens all in one day and despite the reference to President Grant, I'll still place this one in April 1878 (maybe Grant still needed financial advice even after he was out of office.
From the great cinematic cover to the full page end, this one was one hell of a roller coaster ride. Fleisher kept the suspense up just enough by cutting back to the supporting cast and when Jonah finally had to confront the vision of his dad, it wasn't overly melodramatic, it was just right. Jonah was in a situation where nothing could save him except for his own determination not to die.
The only downside to the story was the length that Homer was able to converse after being shot square between the eyes.
The poisoned water hole had been used once before, but that was by Albano ten years prior. All in all, one of the best stories there was.
Next Issue: Explosions! Electrocutions! Snake Bites! Dehydration! Cheating Hearts!
Friday, June 26, 2009
I'm more than willing to keep this thing going, but Sally has a busted scanner, etc., blah blah blah. I'll probably keep on posting these just to make Sally remember that a gun slinger is better than a ring slinger any old day.
This grazed noggin is from the kid-fighting goodness of Jonah Hex #1
Thursday, June 25, 2009
In answer to a question from a young Jonah Hex fan, DiDio said that not only
would DC be reprinting a number of classic Hex tales in trade to tie in with the
upcoming movie, but that the company was also going to release an
original hardcover Jonah Hex graphic novel by Jimmy Palmiotti, Justin Gray and
and I can say that I am pumped!
Fleisher did the unthinkable for a Western loner, turn him from a loner into a couple and on top of that, give him a child. I, like many other readers at the time, thought that Mei Ling would end up chewing on a lead biscuit, sending Jonah into a vengeful bloody aftermath that would hold us through several issues. Weren't we surprised!? Mei Ling survives, and ends up holding fast to her word that she would leave Jonah if he didn't change his ways.
Jonah had been wounded in so many aspects of his life. Rejected as a child by his mother & father, rejected as a brother by his Apache step-brother, rejected as a soldier by the Fort Charlotte brigade, rejected as a man (branded a liar and coward) by Quentin Turnbull, rejected as a human by most of society. The love of Mei Ling bypassed all of that and accepted Jonah on all of those levels and included those of husband and father. However, Mei Ling could not accept violence, but she and Jonah both failed to realize that violence was not a path that Jonah had chosen.
It was a path that had chosen him. Violence was as much a part of Jonah's life as peace and serenity was ingrained into Mei Ling's. Violence was not something that Jonah could stop doing, it was the only response that he had learned and even though he set down his guns, guns kept seeking him out.
Jonah's life, never one full of sunshine and daisies, takes a tragic turn that is probably worse than if his wife & child were dead. Mei Ling leaving him, rather than being taken away from him via the end of a gun, meant that it was a conscious decision on her part to wound Jonah again and this time in an area of his life that had been wounded before. As anyone can tell you, a wound inflicted consciously hurts so much more than one inflicted by accident. Even though some would say that Mei Ling was justified in leaving and taking Jason, maybe even saying that she had no choice in the matter, she knew what she was doing, and Jonah would perceive it as a selfish act, the same as all of his other wounds.
With Mei Ling and Jason still alive, but forever removed from Jonah's life, he returns to his old life, losing himself in his work, as it were. However, since Jonah's life is one of tragedy, he will be constantly reminded of Mei Ling, crossing paths with her and having his suppressed feelings resurface.
Jonah eventually finds some level of comfort in the arms of Emmy Lou, but that also turns tragic when Emmy Lou is kidnapped (oddly enough, the reason had nothing to do with her relationship with Jonah). Jonah ends up turning from one woman to another in what becomes an almost revolving door of feminine comfort, with one woman leaving his life and then another popping up unexpectedly.
Near the end of his Life, Jonah is reunited with Jason, but refuses to acknowledge the relationship with his only son. When forcefully and violently confronted with it, he does ask about Mei Ling. Her death has sealed the door for any hope of reconciliation on that wound of Jonah's. He drunkenly rides off, never knowing of his grandson.
In his last days, Jonah finally finds companionship in Tall Bird, the last woman he will love and one that will stick with him for decades past his death.
Probably the most tragic part of Jonah Hex's life is his attempts to reconcile his entire life with the concept of God. It's been said that in every man's life there is a God-shaped hole, an emptiness that only God can fill, but man constantly tries to fill it with other endeavors or diversions. Some people dismiss the idea of God and learn to live with that concept, others, like Jonah, look at their circumstances and decide that there is a God and He is one who hates them. All of the rejection in Jonah's life can either be confronted or cast aside. He can deal out vengeance against the offender or busy himself elsewhere, removing himself from the rejection. However, once a man acknowledge the existence of God, he can never truly be alone. And if God is supposed to a be a father, a loving father to us all, how does one who has only known physical & mental abuse from their real father, reconcile that reality into a father who is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient? Most likely their concept of God turns to a heavenly being who delights in the torture of the creation. Of all the wounds against Jonah Hex, this one is probably the most tragic in that no matter what Jonah does, where Jonah goes, he can never destroy or run away from this vengeful God.
He may try to lash out at God; crying into the storm, shaking his fist at the sky. He may attempt to reason with God; silently asking for reasons, striking deals in an attempt at some relief. But Jonah is never able to reconcile with God and find the peace that he yearns for.
Jonah Hex finally ends up being swallowed by grief and tragedy his entire life and even in death, where everyone seeks some rest on heaven's shore, the body of Jonah, stuffed and on display, remains stuck in the "belly of the whale".
WHAM! Jonah gets his ticket punched for the fast train across the cabin. Appearing in the snow-capped Weird Western Tales #38
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I'll abide by the majority of 9 votes. (please don't make me post about Hal Jordan's buttocks. PLEASE?)
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Some more spur-jingling fun from Weird Western Tales #37. Come back tomorrow for the THIRD head blow from that issue!!
Guy punches Hal in the face.
Hal gets zapped in the face.
Batman punches Hal in the face.
Hal's ring tries to strangle him. (Not a blow to the head. I toss a yellow card)
Hal laying in the dirt after getting hit by Capt. Atom. (We don't see the blow..hmmm)
Hal's arm gets cut off. (No damage to the head. I believe I have just won here.)
Hal gets hit with a model airplane.
A thug hits Hal in the head.
A Zamaron shmushes Hal's head against a rock.
Hal gets hit with pink goo. (Hmm, doesn't look like a head wound to me)
Hal punches a bear with his shoulder (although Sally thinks he uses his head...not)
Hal gets a yellow smack to the noggin.
Dr. Light cranks Hal on the ole bean.
Ollie punches Hal in the snoot.
Kari Limbo slaps Hal.
Airwave punches Hal.
Hal smacks his head on AIR!!!
Another yellow smack to the head.
Hal runs into a sign. (But we don't get to see the impact. Hmmmm)
Hal gets a KAGROWMM in the snoot.
Hal goes on a Tobaggan ride & hits his head.
Resorting to purchasing a Showcase in order to continue, Sally shows us Hal falling down.
Hal hitting someone with his head....or punching them and all we see is butt? You decide!!
Ollie punching Hal Spectre!
A boot to the head? Yeah, I can see that.
John doesn't punch Hal (but Sally hopes you can see it.)
Hal vs the Batmobile.
Hal with the immovable skull.
Each & every one of these are a clear blow to Jonah Hex, striking him above the neck. (I use tags, makes my life easier!)
Anyway, it's clear to me that I have already won this contest, thus forcing SallyP to change her blog to Orange and post about Jonah Hex, old comic ads, and a Weekly Wonderful Moment in Comics for an entire week (and NO mention of Green Lantern at all!). But I suppose she'll use her feminine wiles and stretch this out for another month. I got nothing but time, nothing but time (and plenty of scans!!)
Of course, YOU dear reader, could end this all but deluging Sally with comments about she has already lost, maybe she'll cave in and admit defeat!
Monday, June 22, 2009
This one is just a nice little k-chuk (dash included) and it's lights out for Jonah from the rock-tossing goodness of Weird Western Tales #37
These two tidbits from MTV shows that either:
A) MTV reporters are making crap up as they go alomg
B) Megan Fox is playing around with MTV reporters.
From the first report I quote:
“You don’t think there will be a sequel to ‘Jonah Hex’?” Megan Fox teased
when we caught up with her recently, discussing the future of the gunslinging
bounty-hunter. “They leave it open for a sequel.”
That’s right, folks — the August 6th film concludes with an ending that
sets up a “Jonah Hex 2.” And, according to the “Transformers: Revenge of
the Fallen” sexpot, some last-minute script rewrites made sure that Jonah
could get back on his robot horse and ride again.
ROBOT HORSE?!?!?!? Obviously these MTV folks watch nothing but the Cartoon Network!!
The second report has me thinking that Megan is yanking their chain or that this is an old interview:
It’s basically a cameo,” revealed Fox when we spoke with her recently.
“She’s a twisted love-interest to Jonah’s character; my part’s pretty small.”
As fans know, Jonah Hex populates a deadly world filled with lies, lead
and life-threatening encounters. Which is why Fox’s next statement made it seem
even less likely that her character Leila would be returning for those
“I worked the first week, and then I was shot out of the movie,”
explained the beauty, who can be seen in next week’s “Transformers: Revenge of
the Fallen.” “My scenes with Josh were my favorite, because he really pushed me
as an actor. He obviously knows what he’s doing.”
I do know that she only shot for a week, but there are some indications that this is no longer the case.
Personally, I really really doubt the reporting chops of MTV, they toute a headline about a Jonah Hex sequel with Ms. Fox only stating that there COULD be a sequel. Hell, ANY movie made COULD have a sequel!! Good gosh Almighty!!!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
How much my family loves me does constantly amaze me.
But, despite a good Father's Day, we have to remember that not everyone had a good father... take Jonah Hex for example...
and that wasn't even the beginning of the terrible things that bastard Woodson visited upon his son Jonah. From the raccoon-tastiness of the Holiday Super-Special.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Getting kicked in the head by your uber-hawt girlfriend!! From the Spitfire-ing Hex #14
Friday, June 19, 2009
But I can give you Jonah Hex being shot in the head by a zombified Wild Bill Hickock...
...from the deeply mystical Two-Gun Mojo #2
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Too bad it is the BACK of the hand and with brass knuckles attached. From the science-laden Hex #12!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Jonah Hex #78 Nov 1983
"Man of Two Bloods!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Pablo Marcos, cover
Jonah Hex is crouching on the roof of a hotel and inside, Head Rat Bastard Quentin Turnbull is having his thugs slap around Emmy Lou, trying to get a letter from her. Finally things escalate to the point where the thugs pull a knife and Turnbull starts to leave the room because violence makes him queasy.
Just then Jonah Hex comes crashing through the window and launches like a savage into the two thugs. While Jonah is dishing up the Whoop-Ass parfaits, Turnbull heads out the door and escapes. Suddenly a thug with a knife charges Jonah and ends up getting himself thrown out the window into the street. Rather than chase after Turnbull, Jonah turns his attention to Emmy.
Jonah tells Emmy that he has to retrieve the Governor's letter and that she is to go to the next town to the south and wait for him. Emmy agrees to follow his orders.
The next morning, Warden Davies is having a tough time explaining to reporters how a dead Jonah Hex can be responsible for the murder of the Governor.
Meanwhile, fifty miles away, three men hold up a bank, murdering several folks along the way, and then ride off. After a short time they come to a place in the road where a huge herd of goats are blocking the road. They shout at the skew-eyed hayseed herding the goats but he is hard of hearing and can't understand what they want. As the thieves come closer the hayseed quickly draws a pistol from his hat and shoots the ringleader. Suddenly gunfire erupts from a nearby haystack, killing the other two bandits.
With a hearty hyuk hyuk hyuk, Wilbur climbs from the haystack and congratulates his brother Homer on how smart they were to wait on the only road coming from Carterville in order to collect the bounty on these bandits.
Meanwhile, Jonah is on his way to retrieve the Gov Phelps letter but he suddenly comes upon over a dozen Indian women & children massacred in a river. On the riverbank he finds a young Indian boy, barely surviving his wounds. Jonah gives the boy some water and the boy says "white....men..." before passing out.
Several hours later, Wilbur & Homer are collecting the bounty for the bank robbers in the local sheriff's office. They spy the wanted poster for Jonah Hex and decide to earn a quick 10 grand.
The local deputy confides in the sheriff that he can't see how these two homely hayseeds can shoot anyone properly, but the sheriff explains that they are probably the most deadly bushwhackers in the entire west.
Several hundred miles away, Mei Ling is working in the garden with Jason by her side. Just then J.D. Hart rides up. Hart visits with Mei Ling and comments on how Jason is. Mei Ling comments that Jason is nearly two now (with the Hex wedding being in 1875 that would place this in 1878, which lines up with my calculations for last issue). Hart mentions that Jonah is in a lot of trouble and he is going to try to help Jonah get this mess cleared up.
Several nights later we find Jonah sitting near a campfire with the young Indian boy. The boy, Little Raven, is the son of the chief, and has the manners of a brat. He gobbles down all the food and leaves none for Jonah. He states that he is 12 and that he plans on avenging his tribes death and that Jonah will help him.
The next morning has Homer & Wilbur coming across the massacre site as well. They notice that one of the horse prints has a shaky left shoe, just like that describes by a rancher that claimed to have had his horse stolen by Hex. The brothers are now on Hex's trail.
Several hours later, Jonah and Little Raven are on a hill overlooking a camp of buffalo hunters. The hunters are poaching buffalo on Ojibwa (Chippewa) land. That is probably the reason for the massacre, the Indians stumbled onto the poaching activities. Anyway, there are 9 hunters and before Jonah can concoct a plan, Little Raven runs down the hill and sneaks up to the buffalo hunters wagon. He reaches in and grabs a barrel of gunpowder and starts leaving a trail of gunpowder along the ground.
The hunters see him and Jonah has to provide cover fire for Little Raven. The Indian finally tosses the barrel aside and heads for the hills, allowing Jonah to make the shot of the century, hitting the metal rim on the barrel, sparking the gunpowder and igniting the trail until it heads back to the wagon and explodes all the dynamite contained therein (because all buffalo hunters carry dynamite.)
Eventually, Jonah gets Little Raven back to his tribe and late that night, the chief performs a sacred ceremony making Jonah & Little Raven blood brothers. The chief bestows a new name on Little Raven. He is now Man of Two Bloods.
The next morning, Jonah continues on his way to get the letter when he comes across Homer standing in the road. Homer says that his canteen sprung a leak and asks for a drink from Jonah's. Jonah starts to oblige and we see the barrel of a rifle slide out from behind a rock and hear the thought balloon of hyuk hyuk hyuk.
Statistics for this Issue:
Men Killed by Jonah: 1 buffalo hunter shot & 8 blown to hell.
Running Total: 407
Jonah's Injuries: none this issue
Timeline: In keeping with last issue, this one happens in April of 1878. This is also supported by Mei Ling's statement of Jason being nearly two. This issue covers about a week.
The action just keeps coming from here on out. In this issue we have:
- Jonah fighting Turnbull.
- Jonah trying to get the Phelps letter.
- An introduction of two bounty hunters trailing Jonah.
- A side story of the young Indian boy.
- The return of J.D. Hart
Wilbur & Homer are two poor characters, what with the hyuk hyuk and the wandering eye (a la Jack Elam). J.D. Hart has changed from wearing tan buckskins and having dark hair to being blond and wearing blue buckskins. The plot with Little Raven is fairly close to the storyline with Little Fawn way back in WWT #12.
Can't give this issue a big thumbs up, but it sure had a lot packed into it.
Next Issue: Everybody gets what they deserve. (It's about time!)
Monday, June 15, 2009
Batman may kick you, but Batman 2050 will kuck the living hell outta you!! From the world famous Hex #11.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Jonah Hex getting punched by a guy in that shirt...a guy named Blossom... Barnaby Blossom.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Jonah Hex has been kidnapped by Mongul (jr.) to hunt down fighters for War World so that Mongul can defeat his sister, Mongal, in combat. Jonah ends up having to hunt down Batman for Mongul. Once on War World, Mongul refuses to send Hex back to his own time. Eventually, Jonah helps Batman defeat Steppenwolf (Mongal's warrior) and then Batman & Jonah have to battle Lashina & Stompa, and then finally Mongal.
Once they finally face down Mongul, they can either destroy the time machine and release all of Mongul's prisoners or give up. Jonah tells Batman to destroy the time machine and he does. Once Mongul is subdued, Batman offers to take Jonah back to Earth and find a way home for him.
Jonah refuses, saying that things are just starting to get interesting. Batman teleports home and Jonah mounts up on his robot horse, taking his light based bullwhip with him. Just them Lashina appears, twirling her whips and says "Giddy-up" and then we see her sitting behind Jonah as they ride across War World.
Bob Haney looked down from heaven and smiled.
I'll get some photos posted next week.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
This smacky-good moment appears in Hex #9.
“That movie is gonna be amazing,” explained the “Transformers” star. “It’s a post-civil war, apocalyptic type Western. The director Jimmy [Hayward] is a lunatic, and he might be a genius. From some of the things I’ve seen him shoot, it’s a badass movie.”
One of the big questions that have emerged since Fox’s on-set photos have emerged is a simple one: What character is she playing? And the answer is that it’s someone even the most die-hard fan of the comic series probably won’t remember.
“They’ve changed her name a couple of times — it’s Leila now,” Fox explained. “She is a prostitute. She’s a good ol’ working girl, and she’s a love-interest to Jonah… of sorts. I mean, it’s by no means a classic type of relationship.”
“She wasn’t really featured in the comics,” Fox said of her character. “Her name was initially Liala, and now they changed it — or it was Layla, and now they changed it to Leila. … All the women in the movie are prostitutes. … [I’m] sort of a tough, no-nonsense prostitute. Like, she’ll shoot you in the head if she has to. And she does!”
Asked if she means that literally, Fox revealed that she definitely gets to wield a handgun in the flick. “Not in the head,” she grinned. “[But I get to shoot someone] somewhere.”
Yeah, I won't remember her because she probably never existed, but now I have to go and double check.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Jonah & JD Hart getting clubbed unconscious in Jonah Hex #43 (which I think holds the record for most head blows in one issue)
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
And that leads me to his blog entry. He doesn't reveal a whole lot about the plot, but does have some comments about the making of a film plus some ramblings. Some of the spelling isn't that clear plus whenever you see the word 'tourniquet', read it as 'corset' and it will make a whole lot more sense. (but after seeing Megan Fox in her costume, maybe he MEANT to use the word tourniquet.)
Anyway, I will keep looking for the B&B video and post a link when I find it. Also, more of Jonah Hex skull-crackery goodness is on the way. (because Sally WILL lose this bet)
Monday, June 08, 2009
Jonah goes swimming and gets knocked out cold in Jonah Hex #43.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Friday, June 05, 2009
Thursday, June 04, 2009
I'm not sure under what circumstances the photo was taken, but I'm sure that the makeup will look better in the film with proper lighting. I do like the costuming.
Once she found American Seeds, she found a new sense of courage. No longer would she ask people for anything (even though her pleading eyes literally begged the money from the purses of the old ladies in town). Eventually she sold enough seeds to get the "complete archery set" and she was able to have her vengeance on the popular girls that always laughed at her.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
WHAM, club vs skull in Weird Western Tales #32. Could Hal Jordan stand up to a tomahawk? Probably, but you'll need to ask SallyP.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Weird Western Tales #31 brings the WHAM!!!