Jonah Hex V2 #51 "Divining Rod"

 Jonah Hex V2 #51 Mar '10

"Divining Rod"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Dick Giordano - art and cover 

Our story opens with the graveside service of Brett Singleton, his grieving widow clas in black and the local preacher giving the eulogy. He tells of Singleton founding the town and how he wielded a branch from a hazel tree to locate sources of water. singleton hoped to expand his powers to locate minerals as well. Singleton eventually found a tree that bore such a branch and used it to locate iron and then claimed he could find silver and gold. 

He made the istake of talking too loosely of this ability and some neer-do-wells ended his life for the new branch. The preacher explains that the local sheriff is not able to avenge Singleton, so the preacher called upon a man to find the killers and return the blessed branch. That man is Jonah Hex.

Jonah is mounted upon his horse on a hill overlooking the cemetery and calmley dismounts and walks his horse down the hill. Hes strides up to the widow and demands where she is supposed to meet him. She stutters a response and Hex points out she is young, beautiful, and thrirty years younger than her late husband. She asks if he is suggesting something and Hex states that he is. She slaps him across the face and then lunges at him and the townsfolks have to restrain her. 

The preacher asks why Hex said that and Hex says he is investigating, like he was hired to do. The preacher assures Hex that she had nothing to do with it, but Hex has his doubts and rides off. The preacher the tries to calm the widow Rhonna, reminding her that Hex will find the killers.

Four men are camped in the desert. Ho continues to dig a hole already six feet ddep. Stan asks if he has found anything but Ho replies in the negative. Jameson asks if Stan knows how to work the divining rod. Stan gets riled up and tells Jameson to get in the hole and relieve Ho. Stan says that if Singleton got the stick to find gold then he could too. The fourth man says maybe they need someone else might be better at it and Stan demands to know who.

Night has fallen and Jonah is in the local saloon having dinner. The preacher bursts in and is outraged that Hex is dining.Hex says he will work as he sees fit and the preacher should go get the widow and retrun with her to the saloon. The preacher says that he will not wake her after the day she has had. Jonah asks how he knows she is asleep, did he tuck her in? The preacher is astonished and Hex it will be much more unpleasant if he has to go do it. The preacher says he won’t allow her to be bothered again. Hex cocks his head and replies that he doesn’t quite know what is transpiring but he’ll figure it out. If he can garner a confession it would save a lot of time. The preacher storms out of the saloon.

Later the preacher, on horseback and wielding a torch, rides up to the widow’s house. The men from the camp are abducting her and the preacher sees them but does not intervene. 

The preacher bursts back into the saloon saying the killers have abducted the widow. Hex asks how does he know she didn’t go along quietly. The preacher explai s that they struck her, he saw it all. Jonah asks how good a look he got in the dark. It’s pretty nard to identify men that nobody in town has laid eyes on, especially in the dark with only a torch. How is he so damn sure it’s them? The preacher asks who esle it could be? They were strangers and the preacher assumed…..

Hex pulls his sidearm on the preacher. Hex tells the preacher to pay close attention. The preacher knows those men, he actually partnered with them to kill Singleton. A real man of God would have nothing to do with a divining rod. The preacher has had his eyes glued to the widow and with Singleton gone she would need a shoulder to cry on. She would eventually fall in love with her comforter. The preacher shous that Hex is a liar.

Jonah slams the table forward into the preacher’s gut, gta s his head and slams it into the tabletop. Jonah sticks his gun in the preacher’s forehead and says the sins can be confessed to him or the Lord directly. Silence falls on the saloon and everyone stands there agog. The preacher the breaks into tears saying that he loves her so much. If Hex had killed those men everything would have been perfect. The people in the saloon grab him, shouting for a rope. 

Hex tells them they can’t kill him yet. He grabs the preacher by the hair, demanding to know where they took her. The preacher says they are in the deseert where Singleton had found something. Hex tells the people to get the preacher a horse. They call for the sheriff but Hex says the widow will pass judgment and anyone with a contrary opinion will sleep next to Singleton. 

At the camp Stan demands Rhanna make the divining rod work. She laughs that they are fools. Stan slaps her down but she explains the stick is worthless, it never worked and never will. Stan says they saw it work and she explains that Singleton owned all the surrounding land. He had found water by using the geology he learned in college in Gotham City but he salted the earth iron ore. He was going to bury gold and find it in front of some big investors. Everyone would be buying the land and Singleton and Rhonna would leave before anyone wised up. 

Hex and the preacher ride up and Hex pulls a gun on Stan and the others. Stan points his pistol at Rhonna and says she stays put. Hex wants to know who had a hand in the murder. Stan says he wants to know if the preacher was in on the scam. The preacher pleads ignorance and Stan says Rhonna explained everything and since the preacher pulled them into this, what was his plan. Rhonna asks what he is talking about. The preacher tells her to mind her own business 

It suddenly dawns on her that the preacher had a hand in Singleton’s death. Hex spills the beans that Singleton was killed so the preacher could win her heart. She rushes at the preacher, the rod in her hand. With a quick lunge she buries the stick in the preacher’s eye. He falls to the ground and she straddles his chest, stabbing the rod into his other eye killing him. Stan tells Hex to stay his hand as the husband and wife were gonna scam the entire town. Hex says that ain’t his business. 

Rhonna says it is true but they didn’t wrong anyone. Hex says she wronged the preacher and she says it was because they killed her husband. Jonah says he has a problem, a woman that killed a man who killed nobody and the these other four men. Stan says he has no proof and they draw on Jonah, and the four of them die quickly by Jonah’s hand as he guns them down. 

Rhonna, kneeling in the dirt, asks if Jonah will kill her. Jonah says they had a bounty on their heads and she doesn’t. She mounts a horse and says Jonah will never see her again. Jonah replies “Never say never.”

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Four
Running Total - 860 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 358 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None.
Timeline - Two days
Rape Percentage -  22% (11 of 51)

It was fantastic to see Giordano do an issue. I love his work and I think this was the last book he worked on prior to his death in March of 2010. 

The story was the kind I liked, something with lots of twists and turns. And Jonah figuring things out just by observing how folks behaved and putting the things together. Jonah being more of a detective of human nature rather than a tracker in the wild was a good change. This is one of the top notch stories of the series. Also, the mention of Gotham City was a nice foreshadowing of the All-Star Western series on the horizon. 

But the elephant in the room is the Once Again Crazy Assed Christian trope. While I despise this as lazy writing this time it was a liiiiitle more believable in that this was a man in love who stumbled trying to win a woman’s love. Rather than taking scripture out of context and becoming the personified wrath of god, we see a man with natural needs taking the wrong path to get what he wants. Granted, he could have been the sheriff, the mayor, anybody in town and the story would have worked.

Next issue: Deep into the swamps once more and family problems. 

Jonah Hex V2 #50 "The Great Silence"

 Jonah Hex V2 #50 Feb '10

"The Great Silence"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Darwyn Cooke - art and cover 

Wyoming, Devil's Tower in the background. Seven horsemen are riding hard and fast through a winding arroyo, they are obviously being pursued, fear on their faces. They whip their horses and shoot behind them at their pursuer. Suddenly one horse is shot in the rear flank and then, not unlike the Angel of Death, Jonah Hex leaps his horse over their heads, killing four of them. Two more continue onward and rounding the bend encounter Tallulah Black. Her sawed off shotguns belch forth death and the horses ride past, one riderless, the other a visual example of Sleepy Hollow.

Before The Fall

Night and Jonah and Tallulah exit the Sheriff's office, bounty in hand and they walk into the saloon. The place quickly empties out and Tallulah drops several coins on the bar, telling the barkeep to come back in the morning and he makes quick tracks out the door. The bounty hunting pair clink bottles, quickly disrobe and then commence to clinking something else.

Next morning finds the barkeep, a tall man (mortician?), and a woman standing in the saloon contemplating what to do with the naked form of Jonah Hex asleep on the bar. Hex awakens, the barkeep hands him his trousers and as Jonah realizes that he is at full attention, he bursts out laughing. Hex steps outside and gets dresses. A man leans back in a chair nearby, propped against a porch post. The man snickers, saying "She snuck off at dawn. Rode West. Figger ya put the spurs in that filly."

The man is quickly kicked into the street by Hex and Jonah readies to leave. Horace Green approaches Jonah with a binder of Wanted posters. He introduces himself and states that he has fifty bounties that may be of interest. Jonah asks if he is trying to get him killed. Horace states that he has heard that Jonah has killed a thousand men, not counting celestials and Mexicans, but Jonah says that number seems bloated. Horace says that his employer, Arlan Miston, has deep enough pockets to cover all the bounties and that each bounty is a man that is responsible for extortion and property damage to Miston's oil company, along with the fire that claimed Miston's son.

Hex tells Horace it will take quite some time to track down that many men. Horace replies that time is of no concern and other lawmen will possibly thin the herd. They get down to price and Horace offers $2,000 each. Hex counters with $3,000. Horace said the price is already set and Hex bids him good luck. Horace places the binder under Hex's saddle and shouts that an exception could be made if Hex brings in ten or twenty by himself.

The Hunter Unleashed

We are treated to a montage:

Jonah shooting three men in the street.

Jonah killing four men in a poker game.

Jonah using a cannon to surprise a man in a privy.

Jonah killing a man running from an encounter with a sheep.

Jonah dragging two men through a stand of cactus.

Jonah dragging a hog tied preacher from a church service.

Jonah pulling a gun on a man in a bath.

Jonah killing four men around a campfire.

The Prospect of a Fresh Start

Tallulah Black rides into Silver Springs and approaches the sheriff asking the location of the nearest dress shop. The sheriff asks what her intentions are in town and she says she has already told him. He observes she appears to have a checkered past and she says that life ain't always roses and sunshine.

The sheriff explains that the town is his to watch over and Tallulah says that she will sleep sound knowing he is on the job. He, eyeing her sidearm, replies that she appears to be capable of watching over herself. She asks if they are going to dance around or ask what he wants to know and he comes back with he wants no trouble in his town. Tallulah says that makes two of them. She states she isn't on a wanted poster, she used to be a bounty hunter and she is now looking for a dress shop. She is tired of looking over her shoulder and running away from everyone and everything and is looking for a fresh start.

He points her to Susan's Dress Shop and introduces himself as Jim Stroman. She thanks him and rides to the shop.

The Fall of Many Men

A late night meeting is being held in a barn by the light of a lantern. Mr Krauss has gathered together all of his remaining men in order to determine the best way to rid themselves of Jonah Hex. They set upon the plan of a trap, and entire town that they could lure Hex into. They pinpoint Silver Springs as the best place to make their play. It has only one sheriff, and a new town with no trees. It will take a few months for the rest of the men to arrive and a few weeks to fortify the town. The snow is flying now, but in three months, Hex will be facing twenty four guns and will meet his end.

The trees are turning color in Silver Springs and we see Tallulah, decking out in a white dress chancing upon Sheriff Stroman. Jim says he has good news, Edgrin Summerset has agreed to sell his lot near Fox Creek. Tallulah is quite touched by this kindness and he says that it is important that she and her child have a proper home, for we see that Tallulah is very very pregnant. 

As they take a stroll to the hardware they encounter Abigail who approaches Tallulah, reaching out to touch the child, stating "The Lord told me about this child". Tallulah warns that she is about to get an ass kicking and the Sheriff warns her off, telling her to get her fabrics over to Susan's place. She says a blessing on the sheriff as she leaves. Tallulah cites that Abigail is touched in the head and the sheriff shrugs it off.

Over the next few months, the leaves fall and a house is built by Jim and Tallulah and it is ready for occupancy with the first heavy snow.

The Winter of Discontent

Jonah is in a cabin with a woman, sitting near a huge fire. An old man, Eddie Runford, approaches and says last week in Yuma he heard men talking. Eddie queries if they might strike up a deal, he relates what he heard and Hex splits the bottle. Jonah puts his pistol up to Eddie's eye and says the terms are Eddie talks and Jonah won't shoot his eye out. Eddie quickly spills the information about Kraus and his men heading to Silver Springs to hole up. Jonah dons his hat and leaves, telling Eddie to take the bottle and woman, they are both paid for.        

In the hills overlooking Silver Springs, Jonah utilizes a spyglass to see Kraus and his men descend onto Silver Springs. What he does not see is a wagon coming from the opposite direction. A wagon driven by Jim Stroman and containing Tallulah in labor and Abigail riding in the back. Jim says that Abigail has done some midwifing and she can be of help but Tallulah says she doesn't want that woman touching her.

Kraus and his men arrive in town, shooting anyone and everyone they encounter. The wagon arrives at the other end of town and Jim tells Abigail to get Tallulah to safety, but Tallulah wants a gun, warning Jim that he is outgunned. The sheriff stands in the nighttime snow covered street and tells the men to leave. They respond by murdering Sheriff Jim Stroman in the blink of an eye. Tallulah is outraged but she does not see Abigail, who has been muttering about the judgement coming down upon them, reaching for a hammer in the back of the wagon. 

Tallulah turns just in time to see Abigail swing the hammer, knocking her out of the wagon. Kraus orders the remaining townsfolk to leave or be gunned down and the populace vacates the town. Abigail grabs Tallulah by the hair and drags her into Abigail's fabric store. She grabs a set of sheers and announces that she is going to remove that bastard from Tallulah's belly. Tallulah fights back, getting cut several times until finally her water breaks. Abigail, standing over her menacingly, says that she will take care of everything.

Jonah, standing in a dark alley, hears Tallulah scream. We see Abigail running off into the night, carrying a crying child as Tallulah drags her bloody body out of the shop.

Tallulah lay on the ground, radiant light pouring down all around her. A small girl gently pokes her with a stick asking "You dead?"

Tallulah replies weakly "No"

The girl says "Days like this make the cemetery man smile."

"Who are you?" asks Tallulah.

"Mind the woods. There's a bad man out there." says the girls as she fades away.

We see Jonah carrying Tallulah through the knee deep snow as she whispers "Ya scared death away.... again.."       

Later in Tallulah's cabin, she is in bed and Jonah readies to depart. She asks if he has nothing to say. She didn't know what else to do. she thought if she gave up her old life, maybe..... She tells Jonah that he knows she is right, he wouldn't have wanted it anyway and he grumbles that he was never offered that option. He says that he wasn't looking for her but he figgered they would eventually meet. This has soured their relationship, he will save the child but from here on they are done as friends and lovers. He exits and rides off.

A time later at the train depot, Jonah holds a gun on the depot master. He explains that he is looking for a woman with a stolen child. The man says that Abigail said that Tallulah was dead, killed by Kraus and his men. Jonah demands to know where the train was headed.

After a train ride of several days, Jonah disembarks into a town in the southwest. He rides up to the local jail and finds the sheriff on the porch. Jonah says that a train arrived a few days ago with a woman and a baby and he is looking for them both. The sheriff asks what for and Jonah states the child was stolen from its mother. The sheriff asks if the child is his. Jonah just glares at him. The sheriff tosses aside his smoke and tells Jonah he should come inside.

In the jail Abigail is sitting in a cell alone. Jonah asks about the child and when the sheriff starts to explain Abigail starts ranting about knowing the child was the devil's spawn and that she killed it. The sheriff says it must have happened on the train, passengers noticed the child didn't cry and Abigail was detained until the train hit town. The judge is on his way for the trial. Jonah starts to reach for his pistol and the sheriff says "I know it was yore child" and Abigail bursts out laughing.

The sheriff steps between Jonah and the cell, saying she will be hung properly according to the law. Abigail starts rattling on about knowing the devil made the child and.... well, just see for yourself...

Finally the sheriff and Jonah are in a standoff, pistols in each others face until the sheriff lowers his gun and Jonah raises his. Jonah asks "Boy or girl?"

The sheriff replies "Girl. It was a little girl." He says that he is going to do his rounds and takes him about an hour and leaves.  Abigail is on her knees in the cell, praying and Jonah says 

Spring Showers and Cemetery Flowers

The rain pours down on the night shrouded town of Silver Springs. Kraus is griping that it has been three months and there has been no sign of Jonah Hex. As Kraus and his men try to figure what Hex's next move is we see various guards outside dead at their stations. Just then a stick of dynamite comes flying through the saloon doors and Kraus and his men attempt to flee but the saloon is blown to hell and back. Kraus pulls himself up out of the mud only to see Jonah with a Gatling gun mounted in the back of a wagon. Jonah mows down each and every one of them, lights a cheroot and says    

                 

You Never Know What You'll Get

A calm peaceful night at Tallulah's cabin. From a distance we see Jonah kneel by the door. Tallulah, inside, hears a noise and quickly goes to the door. She yanks it open to see a man on horseback ride off. She looks down to find a very small coffin on her doorstep. The story closes with her on her knees, sobbing over the wooden casket and the silhouette of a man on horseback vanishing over the hilltop.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - We have an exact count on this one. Five at the start, Abigail, and the extra fifty, so 56.
Running Total - 856 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 354 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None.
Timeline - Just a week or so over a year
Rape Percentage -  22% (11 of 50)

Nothing I can say can do this story justice. This is on par with The Last Bounty Hunter for depth, scope and impact. Darwyn Cooke's artwork is equaled only by Jose Luis Garcia Lopez and it blends tragedy, romance, comedy, danger and despair in such a nice tight bundle. He is one of the most cinematic artists that has ever graced a page and the world is lesser for his having lost him so early. Abigail appears to have put on weight after she kidnaps the child, but that is a minimal gripe on my part. The look on Jonah's face when the bullet bounces off the cell bar is wonderfully funny.

I can only say that if you don't own this book, you must buy it.

My only gripe with the story, and this is a long standing one with Palmiotti and Gray, is their reliance on the one note depiction of the Crazy Assed Christian. They are always ranting, misquoting scripture, and being horrible horrible people. Michael Fleisher had several stories with Christians and he ran the gamut from good to evil. I just get tired of the negative stereotype. 

There could have been another way to have Tallulah lose the child and Jonah seek revenge and I would have preferred that (or I might have accepted Abigail if Palmiotti and Gray had not already pulled from this well so many times before)

Next Issue: Dick Giordano graces the pages and sadly, once again, Crazy Assed Christians.

                                                               

Jonah Hex V2 #49 "The Six Gun War Part 6"

Jonah Hex V2 #49 Jan '10

"The Six Gun War Part 6"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover 

We open on Quentin Turnbull, behind his desk, smoking a cigar and none too happy. The female assassin sisters have reported back and Turnbull is not one for taking their excuses. But Turnbull is satisfied that he and his men will be more than prepared for Hex's arrival.

Dusk at Turnbull's mine and up in the mountains surrounding Turnbull's camp are our intrepid four, Hex, Lane, Black, and Lash. Bat notes that they are outnumbered 30 to 1 but Hex does not care. Lazarus tells Hex that Bat has a point and Tallulah asks if they are scared. Hex states that his observation has discovered that Turnbull has a weakness in that his men are outnumbered by the miners they exploit. Hex plans on empowering the miners to turn on Turnbull.

Bat hopes that Jonah does not suggest that one of them infiltrate the camp and deliver a rousing speech. Hex says that Bat has his numbers wrong....

Down at the mine, Turnbull's men mercilessly beat and whip the natives being used as mining labor. One of them sees a miner put a gold nugget in his mouth and Turnbull's man shoots the native instantly and then orders another worker to rip out the nugget using a pickaxe. Up on the mountain Bat asks once again, what the plan is. Jonah sneaks up behind Lazarus and puts him in a sleeper hold, causing him to pass out. Bat gets very angry and tries to stop Hex and Tallulah draws on Lash. Just then there is a bright light an El Diablo appears, Bat Lash seeing him for the first time. El Diablo says that the time for vengeance is nigh and they must wait for his signal and he vanishes.

Bat doesn't understand why Hex had to choke out Lazarus and Hex explains that the demon only comes when Lane is asleep. He instructs Lash to drag Lane off into the bushes where he will be safe and the three of them head down to Turnbull's encampment.

Down in the mines a small boy dies from lack of water and El Diablo appears in the mine, setting Turnbull's taskmaster ablaze. El Diablo tells the workers to grab whatever they can fashion into a weapon and rise up at his signal.

Outside Hex, Lash and Tallulah ride into the camp and start shooting. The miners start to rebel and attack Turnbull's men but start getting mowed down. One of the miners tosses dynamite and then all hell breaks loose.

Turnbull hears the commotion and arms himself along with his guards. Miners break through the doors and Turnbull kills several of them as he makes his way out the back. Hex and the others continue to thread their way through the mayhem when they finally see Turnbull making tracks. They give chase, encountering a gatling gun, catching some dynamite dropped by a shot miner and then tossing it into the Gatling nest. Chasing Turnbull into the dark jungle, Hex fires a shot and brings down Turnbull's horse. Tallulah and Lash dispatch the two guards alongside Turnbull and Hex dismounts to have it out hand to hand.

Fists are exchanged and Turnbull draws the sword from his cane and slices Hex across the chest and then stabs him in the thigh. Hex punches the cane, breaking the blade and the rises up, grabbing Turnbull, extracting the broken blade from his leg and readies to run it through Turnbull's face.

Just then Santos Nunez appears with several other men. He tells Hex that he has been sent by General Ricardo Paolo to escort Turnbull to the border without incident. Hex tells Santos to leave them alone, it is a private matter. But Santos says that his orders will not allow him to let Hex kill Turnbull. They can resume their conflict once they are in Texas. Tallulah urges Hex to go ahead and end Turnbull. Turnbull taunts him to do it and Hex tells Santos that he can turn his back and pretend Turnbull was dead when he got there.

Santos says that he cannot do that and the entire Mexican Army will hunt Hex down. Hex drops the blade and tells Turnbull that this isn't over. Turnbull mounts up on a spare horse and as he rides off, he tells Jonah that Jeb will be avenged.

Left alone in the Dark, Lash observes that was an unexpected resolution and Tallulah says she wasn't afraid of the Mexican Army, they could have taken them. Hex tells them to shut up, Turnbull will get his and he has lost his gold mine and Hex needs a drink. Lash says that Hex needs a doctor and shouldn't they go retrieve Lazarus. Jonah says "What the hell for. I don't even want you around me right now."

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Wow, there is no way to know exactly but we'll go with 5 we see him shoot and two running the Gatling gun for a total of seven.
Running Total - 800 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 298 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Fistfight, chest sliced open and stabbed in the thigh.
Timeline - Just one night so the whole saga sits at five weeks..
Rape Percentage -  22% (11 of 49)

Lots and lots of shooting, several explosions and it was all pretty unsatisfying. Was it because of such little use of El Diablo, the old west version of The Spectre? Maybe. All he really did was burn up one bad guy, tell the miners to rise up and then he is gone. He really could have turned the tide, but he isn't the main star of this book.

Was it because of the final fight between Hex and Turnbull? Possibly. Jonah didn't show any signs of the stabbings he got last issue, riding hard, jumping around, fists swinging without a grunt or slowing down.

It possibly was because of Santos showing up out of nowhere to intervene at the very moment Hex was going to kill Turnbull. Santos was mentioned by Turnbull earlier in the issue but it really didn't register when I was reading this originally. And I think the artwork didn't help this story at all, dark, murky, muddy. Just not my cup of tea.

Ya know what is? Next issue....art....story...life changing as we hit issue 50 in Volume 2 (Only one downside in the entire book, but that is for next week.

Jonah Hex V2 #48 "The Six Gun War Part 5"

Jonah Hex V2 #48 Dec '09

"The Six Gun War Part 5"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover

Jonah stands in the darkness, Blue Eagle and his warriors dead in the street. Then, slowly Chako appears and says "How many times can a man kick a dog before the dog bites the man? All Chako wanted to be was your friend." He tells Hex that they could have been a good team. Jonah notices the African warrior approaching from the left, two women with whips coming from behind, and the Middle Easterner from the right. Chako starts laughing, saying that it was he that betrayed Hex and now he will watch him die.

Jonah points his pistols out to the sides and fires but appears to have missed the men. The two women unleash their whips, wrapping them around Hex's ankles and jerking him off his feet. They drag him backwards and he suddenly shots the whips in two. Laying in the dirt, Hex notes "Ya brung swords and sticks ta dispatch me? Ya been misinformed, this here's a gun fight." and he quickly kills the African and the Middle Easterner.

Chako turns and runs with Jonah getting off a shot to his knee but the two women quickly throw knives, piercing both of Jonah's shoulders and then rush him, more knives drawn. Jonah falls to his knees, firing, and striking the women in their knees, dropping them wailing into the dirt. Jonah starts to extract the knives from his shoulders when Flannery appears.

Flannery stands over him, taunting him and beating him from behind. He mocks Hex and his relationship with Bat Lash and suggests the two share a sleeping bag. Flannery kicks Hex in the ribs and the two women stagger to their feet and advance on the men. Flannery turns, telling them to stay back as they have had their chance. Hex, on the ground, manages to remove a knife and then buries it in Flannery's ankle. Flannery goes down screaming and Hex quickly dispatches him and then retrieves a pistol. 

The women beg Hex not to kill them. Jonah tells them to hotfoot back to Turnbull, telling him that money can't buy Jonah's grave. They leave and Jonah holsters his pistols and staggers down the street to find Chako, crawling slowly away. Jonah walks up and steps on Chako's bloody knee. Chako says that he saved Hex from a hanging and from the men in the desert, does that not count for anything? Hex shrugs and punches Chako in the jaw. Chako, being Chako, rambles on and on about how he wants to live when Jonah hears something down the street. 

It is the Mexican swordsman. Hex asks Chako if that is the last assassin. Chako says yes and Jonah states that Chako was trying to distract him. Jonah then plugs Chako square in the forehead. Jonah turns to the Mexican and asks why did none of them brought a gun. He slowly draws his pistols and fires with the Mexican deflecting first one bullet and then another with his machetes. Having spent his last two bullets, Jonah notes his luck may have run out. 

The Mexican approaches and Jonah turns and runs for his horse just as the Mexican closes in. Jonah dodges first one swipe and then a second, planting a fist on the Mexican's nose, dropping him to the ground. Jonah gets to his saddlebag and retrieves a tomahawk, turning to face the assassin. Jonah gets a machete to the thigh and the Mexican gets a boot to the nads. Jonah then quickly pivots and cuts off the Mexican's left arm. The Mexican swings again, Jonah ducks and then buries the tomahawk in the man's forehead.

Hex gathers up his tomahawk and pistols and staggers back into the saloon. He finds the room where Bat Lash took the saloon girl and wakes him up. The woman jumps out of the bed and says she'll fetch the doctor. Jonah tells her all of Turnbull's killers are dead so she better not double cross him. She rushes out naked and Hex tells Bat Lash to wake the others. 

That morning Bat lash and Lazarus Lane survey the damage wrought by Hex. Lane states that they have to bury Blue Eagle and his men. Tallulah appears, telling them that Comanche should be buried with their horses and weapons, but seeing how their group are in need of those things and don't have time for such customs, the Comanche would probably be fine with a big burning.

The two men start stacking bodies and Lazarus inquires as to Hex. Tallulah says he is sleeping. Bat wonders why Jonah didn't wake them once he saw the fate of Blue Eagle. Tallulah says that Hex knew what was coming and would not say a thing to anyone. Lazarus notes that maybe Hex holds some affection for the three of them to which Bat notes that Tallulah at least got to share Hex's bed. His wit is rewarded with a right cross to the jaw from Tallulah and she storms off.

Bat swears Hex and Tallulah should marry and Lazarus says he would not wish that woman on any man, including Hex. Bat says that if they survive the coming confrontation with Turnbull, it will be the end of his dealings with Hex. Lazarus chuckles, saying that they will always try to stay on Jonah's good side. Bat replies that Jonah doesn't have a good side.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Chako and five assassins, so we add six to the total
Running Total - 793 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 291 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Whew, knives to each shoulder, beaten and kicked, a machete to the thigh.
Timeline - The end of the evening from last issue and into morning So far, four and a half weeks.
Rape Percentage -  23% (11 of 48)

Ok, a few things. On the good side, Jonah was really down to his last two bullets when facing off with the Mexican. Twelve shots in this issue and each one accounted for. I appreciate things like that. Chako was good in this one, turning on Hex in a manner befitting the self serving Chako. And it was good to see him finally be dispatched.

Now for the assassins. What the hell are wrong with these guys? Two of them were completely out of their element and didn't use on ounce of surprise, just walking down the street getting shot at. Flannery was an idiot to not knock out Hex before allowing himself to be distracted and the Mexican pulls a Wonder Woman move with machetes? As Jonah says, it was a gunfight that only he was prepared for and he should have fared better than he did.

While the pacing of the story was good and tension was well done, the whole concept of six assassins working alone without guns against the best bounty hunter in the world just comes across as stupid. Last issue did try to show a little bit of competition between them but they were cardboard cutouts just to be knocked down by Jonah.

Next Issue: The big payoff, Hex V Turnbull, this time without red clay and crows (Movie reference, ya'll)

Jonah Hex V2 #47 "The Six Gun War, Part 4"

 Jonah Hex V2 #47 Nov '09

"The Six Gun War Part 4"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover

El Papagayo continues to hang by his wrists, the wind whips sand around him as Hex, Lash, Tallulah, Lazarus Lane, Blue Eagle and his warriors ride out of the town, heading for Turnbull's mine. Hours pass and Hex, Lash and Tallulah scout on ahead and spot a large number of horsemen heading their way. Hex identifies them as trouble and the three turn tail and head back to Blue Eagle and the others.

They come to a river, ride across, meeting Blue Eagle on the other side. It is there they turn to thwart the oncoming horsemen. As the Mexicans close in, Hex and his bunch open fire, taking out several. Then they turn head further downstream, looking for a better place to hole up. They find a spot and hide the horses further up in the hills and hunker down, prepping for the fight.

The Mexicans approach the river and send a rider into the water. He shouts that they cannot pass through the canyon without paying the tax, they are outnumbered and they want the woman (typical marauder stuff). Bat Lash lets out a chuckle saying the Mexican's clearly didn't get a look at Tallulah. She gets riled and opens fire on the Mexicans. There is a LOT of back and forth arguing between  she and Hex and Lash until the main group of riders storm across the river and the firefight erupts in earnest.

Lazarus Lane, not one who is not normally involved in such violence has to gin up his courage and start shooting. After several minutes of gunfire, the Mexicans take the worst of the damage, turn and run.

Back at Turnbull's mining operations, he is 'entertaining' the assassins that he has hired, including a pair of female twins that were not mentioned last issue. He tells them that their targets are experienced and possess a lot of luck. Flannery, the Irishman, says he knows about luck and Turnbull replies that he doesn't care if Hex's companions are killed, he is paying for Jonah's head. The Nizari Isma'ilis states that he shall be the first one to return with Hex's head and Flannery tosses an insult his way. Tempers flare and a fight almost breaks out before Turnbull shouts them all into silence.

Turnbull explains that six miles north of the mines is a small town with a saloon, he knows that Hex's troupe will stop there because they cannot go long without partaking of liquor. It is there that Hex must be killed.

Soon Hex and his group arrive at the small town and head into the saloon with Blue Eagle waiting outside. As the group bellies up to the bar who should appear than none other than Chako. And what should hit Chako's jaw but none other than Jonah's fist. Bat Lash is lured away by a saloon girl, Hex and Tallulah pour their drinks and walk off and Lazuras Lane finds a comfortable table.

Eventually Chako slides up alongside Hex and starts telling him that they are all in danger. Turnbull has hired the entire town to get Hex and friends drunk and then kill them Chako tells of the assassins, six or seven, and once Hex is drunk, the plan is for a villager to give the signal and the killers will move in. Hex suddenly grabs Chako by the throat and shouts that he won't give him any more money and to take off. Chako whispoers to Hex that was very clever and Hex replies that Chako should tell Blue Eagle outside to keep an eye open for the killers. Chako leaves and the night continues onward.

Much much later everyone is passed out or asleep and Hex rises and strides to the door. As he steps out into the moonlight he finds the street littered with the dead bodies of Blue Eagle and his warriors.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Once again, a lot of shooting and bodies everywhere. No way to tell who killed whom. We see that Hex took at least five shots so let's call it eight
Running Total - 787 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 285 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - We know it takes about two days to get from the Mexican town where they left El Papagayo to Turnbull's mine, so two more days.So far, four and a half weeks.
Rape Percentage -  23% (11 of 47)

This one was all set up, the semi-calm before the storm. There was some action with the shootout against the Mexican bandits but the geography of the fight (crossing the river, crossing back, etc) was more confusing than anything. And the constant banter between the main actors was almost annoying. It was good to see Chako, but so far, this is the weakest chapter in the story. 

There was also a six page preview of R.E.B.E.L.S. Annual #1: Starro the Conqueror!

Next Issue: Hex faces off against the gang of assassins and it goes.... well....

Jonah Hex V2 #46 "The Six Gun War, Part 3"

 Jonah Hex V2 #46 Oct '09

"The Six Gun War Part 3"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover

El Papagayo drops his hand, signaling the firing squad to kill Tallulah and Bat Lash, but the resulting gunfire eradicates the firing squad as Jonah Hex, Lazarus Lane, Blue Eagle and his warriors come riding into the Mexican village bringing vengeful carnage. Tallulah and Lash pick up guns and start to open fire as well.

Hex chases down Papagayo and the first order of business is to obliterate his pet parrot. Hex then jumps off his horse and tackles Papagayo and punches him senseless. Lash and Tallulah run up, she grabs Hex, kisses him, slaps him, and kisses him again. Hex pushes her away and Lash waxes poetic about the unholy offspring those two would create if given the chance. Tallulah pulls her pistol and takes aim at Papagayo but Hex halts her hand, saying he has a plan for the Mexican bandit. 

Blue Eagle rides up, stating that one of Papagayo's men escaped but Hex says to let him go, he'll tell Turnbull that Hex is coming. Tallulah questions losing the element of surprise, but Jonah says Turnbull will be plenty surprised, besides, Jonah wants Turnbull to think he is prepared for Hex.

The escaped bandit rides all night, the next day and night and finally arrives at an Aztec pyramid, shouting that he must speak with Turnbull.

One week later, Papagayo hangs by his wrists, asking if Hex is gonna kill him. Hex says he isn't sure and Papagayo says he will not tell of Turnbull's location. Hex replies Papagayo should have because he'll have to answer to El Diablo. Hex tells Diablo that once he gets the info, Diablo can do what he wants with Papagayo. Hex bids Papagayo good night and walks off, leaving the Mexican bandit in terror of what is to come.

At Turnbull's hideout, a Mr. Robertson is questioning Turnbull's methods but Turnbull says that for the amount of money he has offered, all of the assassins he has contacted will show up. Turnbull runs down the list:

* A Nizari Isma'ilis with no name from the Middle East

* A Masai warrior from Africa

* An Irish killer from New York

* A Mexican mercenary

Robertson doubts they will succeed, but Turnbull tells him to mind the bookkeeping and ignore the blood work.

Back in Northern Mexico, Hex and Tallulah are sharing a bed and she asks if Diablo has broken Papagayo. Hex replies that he ain't heard no screaming for the past hour and Tallulah asks if she can pose a question. Jonah says she can go ahead and kill Papagayo. But she wants to know why Turnbull is so vengeful. Jonah says it goes back to the war and Tallulah observes that he is going to keep the rest to himself.

We then get a flashback of Jonah in the Civil War and we get a retelling of the Fort Charlotte Massacre. I won't retell it here, but it is very accurate to the original telling of the tale. Once the flashback finishes, Hex says he's done talking for the night but Tallulah says he hasn't said a word for five minutes.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Wow, there is no way to tell how many men Jonah killed in this one. Let's say a dozen
Running Total - 779 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 277 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - A punch to the jaw
Timeline - Two days of the bandit escaping plus two more weeks. For the whole story thus far, a little over four weeks
Rape Percentage -  25% (11 of 46)

This was a better chapter with the reuniting of our merry band but we now have our second deus ex machina with Hex and company killing the firing squad and the proper instant (the other being Hex's rescue from being buried alive). The flashback took up nine pages, leaving thirteen to advance the story, but the flashback was required for new readers, I get it.

The gathering of assassins piqued my interest, but we'll see how all of this plays out over the next three issues.

The rest of the book had a four page preview of Magog #1 (yawn)

Next Issue: A gathering of assassins and yet another friendly face appears.

Jonah Hex V2 #45 "The Six Gun War, Part 2"

Jonah Hex V2 #45 Sept '09

"The Six Gun War Part 2"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover

Devils's Night

We open on the town seen last issue. Dogs roam the streets, eating the corpses. Suddenly there is a burst of supernatural flame from the jail and El Diablo appears. He kicks Hex awake and Jonah scrambles away saying "Ah ain't ready yet!". Diablo states that he is not here to collect Hex but he needs Hex's help. Diablo points to the unconscious Lazarus Lane in the cell and says that Diablo can't touch him.

Diablo instructs Hex to carry Lane to the hotel, there are dangers to deal with.

The Woman is Insane

Mexico

It is night and El Papagayo walks up to his men standing guard outside of a barn. He asks if the men have been enjoying themselves with the captive woman and they hesitate. Papagayo chides them but Sanchez says that they do appreciate it but..... none of the men can bring themselves to do it. Other men have done things to her that they cannot do. Papagayo calls them children and cowards and goes into the barn. As he closes the door, he tells them they will be hearing her loud and painful screams shortly. 

Moments later, Papagayo exits the barn and we can hear Tallulah mocking Papagayo's manhood. Papagayo tells the men to have the whores dress Tallulah and then lock her away with Bat Lash. He walks away as as Tallulah starts laughing maniacally.

Back in Texas, Diablo tells Hex that Papagayo must pay for his crimes and Hex agrees. Diablo says that Hex must take Lazarus with him to Mexico but Hex refuses. Diablo then lifts Hex by the throat and tells him exactly how this will play out because Diablo HAS to avenge the town. As Diablo leaves Hex swears that some day he will figure out how to kill Diablo.

Hex then picks up Lazarus, carries him outside the hotel and dumps him into a horse trough. He tells Lazarus they are going to find horses and then ride for Mexico.

Meanwhile, in Bat Lash's cell, Tallulah is thrown inside and Bat starts weakly laughing. She asks what is so damn funny and Bat relates how he overheard then men talking about her being the first woman to actually strike fear into Papagayo. She says she will kill Papagayo for killing Hex, once they make their escape. Bat figures they have a snowball's chance in hell of getting out but Tallulah figures as old as the place it they should be able to wiggle the bars out of the clay walls before sunup.

Next day Jonah and Lazarus are making their way south across the desert. Lazarus asks how well Jonah knows Turnbull. Jonah replies "Too well" and Lazarus keeps prying as to why they are going there. Jonah says it's not a bounty, but he is gonna settle a war that has been brewing since before the states reunited.

As they are riding in a canyon, they are surrounded by Comanche and Hex recognizes Blue Eagle. Blue Eagle says that he and his warriors are on their way to kill the Mexican and the other men who allowed the women and kids of the tribe to die in the tornado. Blue Eagle says they have heard of the white man owning mines in Mexico. Hex says that Blue Eagle and his men are welcome to ride along, but killing Turnbull falls upon Hex and Hex alone. 

Blue Eagle agrees to the terms and explains that the Mexican also has two prisoners, a yellow haired man and the angriest woman he has ever seen.

With dawn breaking over the mountains, Bat and Tallulah manage to wrest the bars out of the cell window and then climb down the wall to freedom....only to find themselves face to face with four of Papagayo's men. They start joking about how ugly Tallulah is and she rushes them, kicking one in the teeth and grabbing his gun, she then opens fire, killing all four.

More men come rushing out and surround them. Bat asks Papagayo if they could come to some sort of agreement. Papagayo says that he will agree to shoot them and they can agree to die. He puts them against a wall as his riflemen line up. Papagayo raises his arm and shouts "Ready....Aim....FIRE!"

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Zero
Running Total - 767 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 265 V2)
Jonah's Injuries -None this time
Timeline - Possibly one night and the next morning. For the whole story thus far, two weeks
Rape Percentage -  25% (11 of 45)

For the second entry in a six part tale, this one isn't too bad. We had the driving conflict in the prior issue and here we are still gathering all the players (El Diablo and Blue Eagle). I'm very happy that J&J introduced a new character with Blue Eagle, lazier writers would have shoe horned in Scalphunter into a story where he didn't fit.

Some of the time frame didn't seem to fit. While the sun was low in the east when Hex and Lazarus met Blue Eagle, it seemed earlier in the day when Tallulah and Bat escaped. Maybe not, with the sun having to make it over the mountains....but then again we have next issue to deal with.

And let's address the situation between Tallulah and Papagayo. While she is one tough bird I don't really see Papagayo turning tail and running as easily as he did. But, then again, they did have Tallulah stripped naked and hung like a piece of meat in the barn. Seeing what had been done to her may have been too much to him. Dunno.

But the story does clip along at a good pace and is never boring. I DID appreciate the slight nod to the Princess Bride, you can never go wrong with that.

Next Issue: The first round of retribution, Turnbull amasses his forces and FLASHBACK!!!