Friday, August 29, 2008

Weekly Wonderous Moment in Comics #32

Everyone talks about how tough Wolverine is, or what a hardcase Lobo is. Maybe your favorite comic character with a killer instinct is Deadshot or the Punisher. But the Harvey line has it's own lineage of bad-asses. May I present.....

Richie Rich making you dance Chicago-style
and if that doesn't make think twice about messing with the Rich's...

Mrs. Rich, kicking it old school.
Yep, don't mess with the Rich's, they'll pop a cap in ya and laugh about it with their butler.

from Richie Rich Badass Giant

Thursday, August 28, 2008

House Ads #6 The Flash

Another of the lost House Ads. Not sure if this was the first appearance of the Mirror Master but it sure taught me a lot of useless info regarding speed in nature.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

We Interrupt This Blog... #10

... To teach everyone about the newspaper biz. Just remember kids, newspapers are here to stay!!!
this message brought to you by

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Jonah Hex #55 "Trail of Blood!"

Jonah Hex #55 Dec 1981
"Trail of Blood!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Tony DeZuniga, art & cover

The four members of the Fort Charlotte Brigade (Micah, Shenandoah, Pee-Wee, & Timmy) have just sprung forth from the tall grass to put a halt to Jonah Hex's escape from El Papagayo. Carmelita had helped Jonah escape from El Papagayo and now Micah tosses a small bag of money to her, thanking her for leading Jonah into their clutches. It turns out that Carmelita is working not only for the Mexican Army & El Papagayo, but Quentin Turnbull as well. Carmelita is chuckling at have played the winning hand when she is suddenly shot dead off of her horse by the Mexican bandit leader.

Papagayo is in the hills above them and shouts down that he intends to kill Hex and the men that are with them. In fact, Papagayo says that if they all surrender now, he will kill them quickly instead of slowly. Jonah Hex will have no talk of surrender or even of fighting. He thinks their best chance is running and he lights fire to the tall grass in order to shield their escape with the smoke.

The plan works but only delays Papagayo's pursuit of them.

The next morning, it is the 12th anniversary of Jeb Turnbull's death. In Richmond, VA, Quentin Turnbull heads out to lay flowers on the grave of his son who died 12 years ago (which was 1863, thus making this 1875. NO!!! Really!?!?!?!) . Solomon puts forth that maybe Jonah is not guilty but Turnbull gently reminds Solomon that he is a good man, but naive. Turnbull then spends some silent time at Jeb's grave.

Meanwhile, in Mexico, Jonah Hex & the Fort Charlotte foursome are breaking camp. Pee-Wee suggests killing Hex now, but Micah thinks that they will need Hex's help to get them into the US and away from Papagayo. As they head out, Jonah asks Timmy, a young man, why he is involved in this since he couldn't have been old enough to be involved in the War Between the States. Timmy explains that his dad was killed in the Fort Charlotte Massacre and is planning on avenging his father's death. Jonah explains what really happened at the fort, but Timmy will hear nothing of it and spits in Jonah's face.

Jonah grabs Timmy by the collar, but Pee-Wee has leveled his rifle at Hex, demanding he let go. During all of this, Shenandoah has dismounted and has walked forward on the trail to pick up a parrot feather. Jonah shouts a warning but it's too late, Shenandoah falls into a collapsing pit full of sharpened stakes and dies. Jonah grabs Micah's rifle and starts squeezing shots off, killing at least one of Papagayo's men.

Several of Papagayo's men ride down on the four remaining men. Jonah smashes one bandit's brains in with a rock and then kills another who is trying to kill Timmy. He hears Micah scream and heads over to help him, but Jonah is too late and can only kill the bandit afterward. Finally all of the bandits are dead and Timmy thanks Jonah for saving his life, but Pee-Wee says that Jonah was only saving his own skin and vows that he himself will kill Hex once they cross the Rio Grande.

Up in the hills, Papagayo is spying on their departure and despite a henchman's statement that they will escape across the river in a few short hours, Papagayo says that it's all... part of a plan.

Hours later Pee-Wee, Timmy & Hex arrive at the Rio Grande at a ferry crossing. They can't find anybody in the ferryman's house (because they are bound and gagged) and decide that they can navigate the ferry across the river. Once they get the ferry loaded and in the middle of the river, El Papagayo shouts from the hills overlooking the river that he is bidding goodbye to Jonah and the other two men.

Jonah starts rummaging through the crates on the ferry and finds a bundle of dynamite with a lit fuse. They all jump overboard since there may be more dynamite hidden and the ferry gets blown to splinters. Jonah swims over to Timmy, who is drowning, and drags him ashore. However, Pee-Wee is standing there with his rifle leveled at Hex.

Timmy starts protesting that they can't kill Jonah, it ain't fair after everything that Jonah has done for them. Pee-Wee says that what is fair is killing the man that killed their friends and family. Timmy jumps up a grabs a rifle but Pee-Wee guns him down before Jonah can do a thing. Jonah does however end up killing Pee-Wee with a single shot.

Timmy is sitting against a rock, gasping his last, telling Jonah how when they get back to Virginia, Timmy will tell everyone what kind of man Jonah really is so they won't keep chasing Hex. Timmy then dies.

Jonah buries Timmy and then rides off.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - 5
Running Total - 338
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - 1875. This story covers 2 days.

I would have liked to have seen more El Papagayo and less of Turnbull. Turnbull gets to be just one note hammered constantly on an out of tune piano, no one can reason with him and he has only one idea, kill Hex.

It was kinda nice to see Timmy coming over to Jonah's side, but since this story has a backup story, we didn't get the extra pages that could have been used to give us more of that growing relationship between Jonah & Timmy. Needless to say, this story didn't thrill me as much as it could have.

However, the last panel does make a good point moving us into the third phase of Jonah Hex, The Tragic Hex (hint hint, upcoming post)

Next Issue: Jonah ends up taking the train to crazy-town.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Pitchman-A-Go-Go #38

It's the wonderful HYPNO-COIN! It makes women walk with their arms outstretched, just like they are going to embrace you, or maybe carry your laundry. I'm gonna buy two and wear them like sunglasses!

"Why, no, Ms. Officer Ragnell, I didn't realize that I was speeding. Did YOU realize that YOU'RE IN MY POWER and that you will IRON MY SHIRTS?!?!?!" It makes you wonder what else the Hypnotic Aids Supply Co. stocked.

Feel free to gaze upon my awesome Photoshop skilz over at the Progressive Ruin.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Weekly Wonderous Moment in Comics #31

Sometimes when you're flipping through old comics you come across something that made you laugh 30 years ago and it still makes you laugh today. Folks, I give you...

Daffy & Elmer
Looney Tunes #197 1958

Thursday, August 21, 2008

House Ads #5 Space Ranger

Wow, I just realized that I jumped from #4 to #7 last week. Therefore, I present House Ads, The Lost episodes! I love the angle on this cover and it has aliens and a hot chick in peril. What else could you ask for?

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

We Interrupt This Blog ... #9

... to teach all the young ladies about getting married. Much better than getting a shoe to the head.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Jonah Hex #54 "Trapped in the Parrot's Lair!"

Jonah Hex #54 Nov. 1981
"Trapped in the Parrot's Lair!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Tony DeZuniga, art & cover

With no mention whatsoever of Mei Ling walking out on Jonah and taking Jason with her, we start our story with Jonah getting a nice hot bath at Rosie's (wherever that may be). In the midst of his bath, two hardcases walk in, threatening Hex. Jonah grabs the scarf on one, pulls him into the tub and then stabs him. Using his dead body as a shield, Jonah then grabs the dead man's pistol and pushes a couple of slugs into the other man. Then, to the amazement of women comic bloggers everywhere, Jonah stands up in the tub and comments on the pistol he stole from the dead man.

Of course, causing so much carnage and bloodshed has its consequences. Jonah gets charged $2 to have the floor cleaned and gets kicked out of Rosie's. Later riding into town with the two dead men, Jonah Hex is recognized by a bystander who races off to send a telegram to Richmond, VA.

In Richmond, Quentin Turnbull is talking to the Fort Charlotte Brigade and is asking for positive proof that Jonah Hex has been blown up by the dynamite trap laid for him. This, of course, goes against the LAST time we saw Turnbull which leads me to think that this story arc is out of order with the marriage storyline and makes me wonder why we have fill-ins thrown in here. Each story in the marriage arc were short ones (except for issue 50) so I would have thought that Fleisher could have kept up the pace. Now I know how Joss Whedon felt.

I digress.

While Turnbull is gloating that Hex is dead, Solomon walks in with the information from the telegram, stating that Jonah Hex is alive and in Clementine Springs. Turnbull assigns the four members of the Fort Charlotte Brigade to kill Hex, for sure this time.

Jonah checks into the hotel and heads up to his room after dinner. A mysterious stranger follows him and attempts to open the door to Hex's room to only be surprised by a pistol to the back of his head. The stranger turns and it is Col. Sanchez of the Mexican Army. Hex invites Sanchez into his room and Sanchez unfolds a story, explaining how El Papagayo is still alive, despite being stabbed and left for dead. Sanchez explains that the President of Mexico is willing to pay $10,000 for the bandit, dead or alive (thus allowing Jonah to dirty the floor at Rosie's 5,000 times and not be in the red.)

Jonah takes him up on his offer and heads for the border.

Much later, high on a cliff overlooking a lone rider, two of El Papgayo's men open fire on the rider. When they inspect the body, they learn that it is only a stuffed dummy and that Hex has the drop on them. Jonah ties them both up, disguises himself as a bandit and rides on into Papagayo's lair. However, all of this has been closely watched by a lookout, who quickly rides to warn the bandit leader.

Jonah rides into the old fortress and walks into Papagayo's HQ where the bandit wastes no time in unmasking Jonah and taking him prisoner. Papagayo decides that he will kill Jonah slowly but, as usual, things start with a rifle butt to the head.

When Jonah awakens, he is at the bottom of a dry well, strapped to a pole and bound with rawhide. A mule is slowly turning the pole and as it twists, the rawhide starts to strangle Hex. Jonah manages to grab his knife and cut his way loose and then use the knife to create handholds so that he can climb from the well.

El Papagayo is not an idiot, he has left a guard in case Jonah escapes and as Jonah pulls himself over the edge, the guard draws a bead and suddenly.... dies. He is knifed in the back by Carmelita, El Papagayo's main squeeze who also works for Col. Sanchez. She and Jonah escape in the cover of night.

Later, after she has shown Hex the way out, Carmelita starts to return to El Papagayo in order not to blow her cover, but just then....

Statistics for this issue
Men killed by Jonah - 2
Running Total - 333
Jonah's Injuries - Knocked out with a rifle
Timeline - Like I said before, this one must be a filler since it makes no mention of Mei Ling (which Turnbull was aware of) and assumes that Turnbull still thinks Jonah Hex is dead. Based on what happens next issue, I place this one in 1875.

I have always liked El Papagayo and it is almost unbelievable that we have gone 44 issues without seeing him. It's a shame that the timeline was so screwed up because I could see the Parrot using Jonah's marriage to his advantage by kidnapping Mei Ling, but then, Turnbull beat him to it and to reuse that plotline would have been a poor choice.

This also had a backup story of Tejano

Next Week: El Papagayo, The Fort Charlotte Brigade, and a river ferry that doesn't crash apart on the rapids! No, really.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Pitchman-A-Go-Go #37

Selling GRIT didn't work out for you? No problem, just start your own electrical appliance repair business. Soon, you too,will have an enormous round noggin.

enormous round noggin sold separately

Friday, August 15, 2008

Weekly Wonderous Moment in Comics #30

So, the Daily Planet is a great place to work, probably the best in Metropolis. Every day you can walk in and get to work with no interruptions, right? Except when Lois Lane walks in with a lead-lined box on her head!!! The first thing I think is "how did she get a solid plate of metal over her head?" Then I thought "What happens when she sneezes?" Then I thought "What if she has to fish a big booger outta her nose?" and then I thought"Why would she do that?" (See, I got my priorities in order)

Why would any woman do that? Lois had exposed a fake mystic named Circe who retaliated and put upon Lois the only reason that would make any woman put a box on her head...

..she gave her the head of a cat!!!

Let the catty remarks begin!!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

House Ads #8 Batman Giant

This one has the syndicated strip in it as well. Makes me wonder if they were collected anywhere else?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

We Interrupt This Blog....#8 remind you that the library is your friend, so stop stealing music downloads and scouring the intraweb-tube thing for remote control plans for your Renaissance faire dress.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Jonah Hex #53 "The Haunting"

Jonah Hex #53 Oct 1981
"The Haunting"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

The bad guys have kidnapped Jonah's neighbor kid, Petey, lured Jonah into a cabin and just blown it all to hell. They ride off with Petey, thinking that they will be able to collect a ransom from Mrs. Hex and as they do, Jonah picks himself up off the ground. How did he survive?

The flashback shows Jonah kicking down the door and seeing food cooking on the stove. He picks up the skillet and underneath it sees wrappers from a box of "Ol' Rattler" dynamite!! Knowing that there is a trap, he hurls himself out the back window into the tall grass just as the cabin explodes. Now he is on the trail of the kidnappers.

The kidnappers are riding along, talking about what they will do with the ransom loot when the one riding in the rear is suddenly hoisted up into the trees by a noose around his neck. Jonah drops from the tree onto the dead crook's horse. When the lead kidnapper turns and sees Jonah, he pulls his pistol only to have Jonah shoot it from his hand! The crook says that he can't believe it to which Jonah replies, "Could I help it if when I fired you were holding that pistol in front of your heart?" (Translated from Hex-ese into English for easier typing).

Jonah takes Petey home and when thanked for rescuing the boy, Jonah says he had to, otherwise how could he get anything done on the farm? Jonah takes the kidnappers into town and then returns home after dark. Walking in, he lights a lantern and calls out for Mei Ling. The only answer is a note that she has left, indicating that she has taken Jason and left Jonah for good. Jonah upends some furniture in a rage and heads out to track Mei Ling down only to find a sudden downpour is wiping out her tracks, causing Jonah to rage against God in the middle of the deluge.

Meanwhile, Mei Ling has made here way over to Hiram & Ruth's farm, wanting to sit out the storm. Ruth introduces Emmy Lou and then Mei Ling explains that she is leaving Jonah. Mei Ling finally breaks down crying. She regains her composure long enough to grab her things and then head out despite the downpour.

Back at the Hex farm, Jonah decides to drown his sorrows by tossing back one after another. After some time passes the cabin door opens and El Papagayo walks in and tells Jonah that he would be more than happy to put Jonah out of his misery. Jonah outdraws the Mexican bandit, shooting the doorway and windows to pieces.

Behind him, Jonah hears Turnbull commenting to Solomon on how pathetic Jonah is in his drunken stupor. Jonah starts shouting his innocence to Turnbull and unloads his pistols again, destroying all the furniture. Jonah turns to face his father, holding out a bottle of whiskey. Woodson tells his son that he needs to learn to hold his liquor if he ever hopes to grow up like his paw.

Jonah starts screaming that he never wants to be like his father and rushes out into the rain where he is confronted with the Chameleon, brandishing a bloody pitchfork.

The Chameleon says that tonight Jonah will die but Jonah unloads once again, shooting the head completely off the scarecrow that Jonah mistook for the Chameleon. Jonah finally collapses in the rain, beaten down by his drunken hallucinations and his own sorrow.

The next day, Jonah is packing up his horse, ready to leave, when Emmy Lou rides up, asking where he is going. He states that he is returning to bounty hunting and get filthy stinking rich. Emmy begs to be taken along and Jonah says there is no chance of that happening. Emmy says that she will never forget him and as he rides off and leaves her, he thinks "Oh, yeah, you will!"

Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - 2
Running Total - 331
Jonah's Injuries - Almost blown up!
Timeline - Same day as last issue and the day after. Spring of 1876.

This issue also had a backup, Tejano, a short lived series that I will chronicle at a latter date.

I really liked this issue, having a lot of tragedy and showing the amount of sorrow that a life like Hex's can put upon a man. The number of people that have tried to kill him and destroy him have not pushed him over the edge like losing the love of his life and only son. Makes me wonder if the level of pain would have been as deep if Mei Ling and Jason had been killed. I don't think so, because if they were dead, at least there would be some closure. With them both alive, every day that they don't return is another day that Jonah is being rejected by those he loves. It's also another day that he dare not hope that they return, because Jonah is slowly learning that hope brings nothing but more pain.

Jonah Hex is learning that his life is a tragedy. Pure and simple.

Next Issue: Is it still a drunken nightmare, or does Jonah really have to face El Papagayo and the Fort Charlotte Brigade?

Monday, August 11, 2008

Pitchman-A-Go-Go #36

If all else fails, get yourself a polaris nuclear sub made out of 200lb. test material and it SHOOTS MISSLES AND TORPEDOES!!!! (Can you tell I always wanted one of these?) It also had an electrically lit instrument panel. How fantastic is this?

purchased from the Canadian Navy Surplus Store in Burnaby BC.
Obligatory joke: What's long, round and full of seamen?
A submarine. hee hee hee

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Jonah Hex #24 Vol 2 "Outrunning Shadows"

I picked up my books this week and oddly enough, a few books complemented each other. Odd because it was Ambush Bug that made me realize why I enjoy the current Jonah Hex series by Gray & Palmiotti. Ambush Bug has a riff going about Omniscient Narration that appeared in comics years ago and has recently been replaced with Character Narrative Color Coded Thought Text. The CNCCTT appears quite frequently in books like Justice League so the reader can identify who is thinking about the current situation. Ambush Bug made me notice the difference between most modern books and Jonah Hex.

That literary device does not appear in Jonah Hex. Why? I believe it is for a few reasons.

1) Jonah Hex deals with the past. Jonah is dead and gone. His time and story, for all intents and purposes, are both over. Each issue is like discovering another piece of the past buried somewhere deep within an old book or diary and the narration reflects not only that perspective, but that flavor and rhythm of writing. In the current series we have had stories spun by children and adults that have encountered Jonah Hex, as well as a nameless storyteller that serves as a teacher of life lessons and a biographer. Quite often it reminds me of writings from that period making it all the more appropriate for the subject and the time.

2) We don't know the thoughts of Jonah Hex. During the Fleisher years, the thought balloons for Jonah would consist of what he was about to do, or what he hoped would not happen (and then of course the tragedy would instantly befall him). Gray & Palmiotti have shut the door on that part of Jonah Hex, returning to us part of the mystery that Hex originally had under the hands of John Albano. By not having the thoughts of the character in the text boxes, we have to rely upon the words and deeds to determine intent. That is much more dramatic than any small box of text with a catchy symbol denoting the speaker. I am constantly reminded of the scene in Jonah Hex #7 Vol 2 where Hex reads the suicide note from the bride and merely comments 'heh'. Or the building anger demonstrated in #34 vol 2 by Jonah's constant chopping of wood resulting in bloodied hands.

Now let's further delve into Jonah Hex #34. (I'll put up scans and a play by play review much later when we encounter this book in the normal flow of this blog.) First off, I would like to acknowledge the tributes that Gray & Palmiotti have been paying. During recent stories, Hex has been lying about his identity for one reason or another. He has tried to pass himself off as Mr. Albano and Mr. Fleisher and this issue he assumes the name of Mr. Hillwig. I'm impressed that Susan's name appeared prior to that of Landsdale (and I also spied an Eisner barber in the artwork). Sometimes these tributes are jarring, pulling one out of a story, but to me they work since the Jonah Hex community is smaller than most and these are slight nods in passing to the work done to further the history of our scar-faced bounty hunter.

#34, Outrunning Shadows, takes place in 1871 in Oregon and finds Jonah trying to run from his past and start a new identity, literally burying his past and walking away from it. Through a series of horrible events, Jonah ends up facing that he is what he is. He is a man doomed to walk this earth, dealing out death and destruction, quite often too late to prevent tragedy and barely in time to be able to exact vengeance.

Jonah had faced off against God before (#53 Vol 1, which actually takes place AFTER this story) but this time he quietly sits in front of his fire holding a Bible:

"Ya press me to action against muh will. Set a bush ta burnin', why don't ya? Through manner a' guilt and persistence, ta flauntin' the horrors a' simple folk jest tryin' ta live peaceful in the company a' cowards and killers.

"This is yer word scribed by men teachin' eye fer an eye and the like. Love thy neighbor and thou shall not kill stand at odds with each other n ya prefer ah take up the work of yer angels who ain't but assassins with wings.

"And when judgement day comes, ya'll put these deeds in shadow an condemn me nonetheless as a killer and a sinner."

Later, Jonah Hex learns of the tragedy he could have prevented, he digs up his hat, coat and pistols, speaking to the dead woman he could have saved:

"Ya couldn't leave it be, could ya? Comin' ta me with pie an sins a' the flesh. Comin' ta me with the promise of comfort when ah already buried more lovers than ah care ta reflect on.

"Mark that as muh mistake as not ta recognize the trap yer God lay before me. Ya know ah tried, an repentant as ah may be, He still felt moved ta take ya by violence.

"Gentle an' reasonable, they call the Lord. That's jest because they don't know Him like ah do."

And how does Jonah know God? He reveals this when he confronts the men that brought death into town:

"Muh name ain't Hillwig. It's Jonah Woodson Hex, the man what dangles from strings that reach ta the heavens grasped in hands as cruel as any can imagine."

When we need to know what Jonah is thinking, he will speak it. And we learn of the tragedy and horror that the life of Jonah Hex has become. A life without redemption nor forgiveness from the past and without hope for the future. His life is predestined, following a path like a river through a canyon, a path he cannot waver from, a path that empties out into the destiny he must suffer.

Friday, August 08, 2008

Weekly Wonderous Moment in Comics #29

So Clark Kent and Jimmy Olsen are assigned to try to find a 'missing link' in Africa. Of course, Kent heads out to search by himself as Superman and leaves Jimmy in charge

This panel makes me crazy with laughter. Look at the alligator just trying to munch on Superman and I love that the animals decided to team up, making them much smarter than 90% of the villains that try to takes Supes on their own.

But everything is great back at camp because Jimmy is asleep on the job. What could go wrong? Marauding Monkeys, of course!!

Well, as the story progresses, Jimmy ends up yelling himself hoarse and ends up being mistaken for the 'missing link'. Superman decides that he will teach Jimmy a lesson and using his powers frustrates every attempt of Jimmy's to try to communicate. Needless to say, the researchers that Clark and Jimmy have been staying with end up in the path of stampeding water buffalo. The researchers figure that the jungle boy can save them, they throw Jimmy in front of the buffalo. Superman slips away and...
... stops the stampede by coating their hooves with liquid rubber. Heh heh. I never figured that Clark Kent was a tree hugger.


Thursday, August 07, 2008

House Ads #7 Lois Lane

This is one ad I wish was in color. It's a full page on the inside back cover of a 1968 Plastic Man.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

We Interrupt This Blog......#7

... to let you know that once you get married, don't try that 'shoe-to-the-head' thing ever again.


Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Jonah Hex #52 "Rescue!"

Jonah Hex #52 Sept 1981
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

Petey is helping Jonah load a wagon full of hay. Jonah thanks Petey for saving his skin last month and Petey starts talking about growing up to be a gunfighter like Jonah. Jonah gives him a couple of pointers, like standing with your back to the sun showing only a profile. Just then Mei Ling comes out and asks Jonah if he & Petey can keep an eye on Jason while she finishes making some preserves. She lays Jason on the ground in the shade and the guys get back to work.

A short time later a scorpion crawls up and stings Jason. Jonah runs over and realizes what has happened. He quickly pulls the knife, cuts the wound and sucks out the poison. He does note that a scorpion wouldn't kill a grown man but a month old baby is a different story. Jonah then takes the baby into the house and Mei Ling asks what happened. Jonah tells her and she accuses Jonah of not watching the baby, of wasting time teaching Petey how to be a gunfighter (since she caught him earlier).

She goes into a rage, accusing Jonah of lying about Petey, lying about killing the bastard in town a month earlier, accusing him of killing their baby, then she lunges at Jonah resulting in...


Meanwhile in town, three good-for-nothings walk into the undertakers shop. They say they want to buy a coffin to bury a pig in. A pig named Jonah Hex!! They stick a gun in the undertaker's mouth and ask how to get to Hex's place, since Hex killed their brother about a month ago. The shopkeeper draws them a map and they head out for Hex's place.

Once they get there they see Petey and think that since Jonah has a kid, Petey must be Jonah's son. When Petey rides off to go home, they ambush him and kidnap him.

The next morning Jonah is trying to talk to Mei Ling when Mrs. Foster, Petey's mom, shows up. Petey hasn't made it home. She said that Tim Baxter came by her house earlier to say that he thought he saw Petey riding off with three rough looking men. Jonah grabs his pistols and starts strapping them on and Mei Ling asks him what he thinks he is doing.

Jonah tells her that he is going to get Petey. Mei Ling says that it is a job for the sheriff but Jonah says that Petey could be dead by the time the sheriff gets involved. Mei Ling asks how can he leave Jason. Jonah heads for the door and she says that when he gets back, she and Jason will be gone. Jonah rides off as Mei Ling shouts after him.

Later on Jonah is able to pick up a trail that has one horse with a loose shoe. Jonah follows the trail into town and rides up to the blacksmith. He finds a guy getting his horse re-shoed and without another word beats the holy living crap outta him.
The guy confesses that his brothers have Petey in a cabin outside of town. Jonah has the blacksmith get the sheriff and lock up the kidnapper and heads off to rescue Petey.

Jonah finds the cabin with no problem and kicks in the door. The cabin is empty and dinner is even cooking on the stove. In the rocks above the cabin are Petey and the remaining two kidnappers. They chortle about leaving their brother behind to steer Jonah into their trap and they grab the plunger, slamming it down and blowing the cabin all to hell!

Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - none
Running Total - 329
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - One month since last issue and this story covers one day and part of another. Spring of 1876 by my estimation.

A short story since there is a Bat Lash backup and it is just a setup for next issue when things really start cooking along. Mei Ling comes out being a total shrew and I really wish we could have had about 3 months of her being sweet before going off on her man, but these are comics and the story has to keep moving.

Next Issue: What issue? Jonah is dead. Dead dead dead.

Ha ha, fooled ya! Next Issue: Jonah saves Petey and faces off against El Papagayo, Quentin Turnbull, Woodson Hex, The Chameleon, and God!!!

Monday, August 04, 2008

Pitchman-A-Go-Go #35

Okay, you've been getting your butt kicked by that bully on your GRIT paper route, what are you going to do about it? Hit him with a shovel (aka guitar pick)? NO! Be a man and defend yourself with KETSUGO. Okay, that didn't work, try JU-JITSU. That didn't work, try JUDO! Hmmm, that didn't go well, how about AMERICAN JUDO? If for some reason THAT doesn't work, you can always hypnotize him to leave you alone, give you all his money, strip naked and paint his butt blue.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Weekly Wonderous Moment in Comics #28

Ok, so Lois Lane is interviewing this crazy scientist that has created a serum that will make a person super-strong AND invulnerable. He has just demonstrated this super-rabbit that he has created and then gives the serum to Lois.
Lois takes it home and discovers Lana Lang waiting on her doorstep, asking if she can spend the weekend since her apartment is being painted. Lois agrees and then tells Lana about this serum. Later Lana takes a bath and, of course, bathes in the serum.
She becomes super strong and invulnerable. Lois slaps Lana's face and almost breaks her hand! Lana ends up helping Superman do all sorts of charity stunts, but sometimes things go wrong, like her dress catches fire, or she gets shot with a bunch of kryptonite bullets whe she steps between Superman and some hoods.

Lois eventually decides that she should 'help' Lana and starts arranging all sorts of charity fundraisers where Lana pulls several locomotives or lifts a dozen strongmen over her head or juggles elephants, that sort of thing. But then no-one see Lana for a few months until Superman & Lois bust down Lana's dressing room door.

The phone ringing is the scientist calling Lois to say that he lost the formula for the serum and to 'never mind' about the whole thing. Does Lana stay this she-hulk she has become?

Nope, Superman can whip up an counteracting serum just like that! The best part? The look on Lois's face. THAT is one evil bitch!!!