Jonah Hex V2 #44 "The Six Gun War, Part 1"

  Jonah Hex V2 #44 Sept '09

"The Six Gun War Part 1"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover

Texas 

Jonah is riding along in a thunderstorm when a dead Indian falls from the sky, and then another. Jonah looks ahead and a huge rain-wrapped twister has hit an Indian village and is dropping natives and horses from the sky. Jonah continues onward, closing the eyes of a dead Indian boy and eventually riding into a fort. Jonah addresses a soldier, Major Newbury. The Major turns and says "You must be the bounty hunter." Jonah inquires if the damage is from the tornado and the Major explains that it came upon them quickly and didn't go well for the Comanche.

Jonah asks about a huge pit that the soldiers are pulling Indian corpses from. Newbury explains it was an escape tunnel that was unto a teepee and they found it before the storm hit. Jonah calls him a liar in that it is not an escape tunnel and wasn't meant to be one. This ruffles Newbury. Jonah says that Newbury summoned him to the fort to capture some rogue Comanches but the Comanches here in camp wouldn't have run off with their bravest men outside the fort, plotting an escape. Jonah says that the hole was a shelter fashioned for this time of year.

Newbury tells Hex not to worry about a few dead Indians, seeing as to how Jonah's troubles began months ago in order to spring the trap into which he has just stepped. Then we see Quentin Turnbull, El Papagayo and Papagayo's men emerge from the pit. Turnbull pulls a pistol and shoots Hex in the left shoulder, knocking him from his mount. Newbury bends down, relieving Hex of his weapons and Papagayo gives him a quick kick to the wounded shoulder. Turnbull tells the men to beat him but not kill him....not yet.

Several hours later Jonah is a bloody mess and the beating continues. Turnbull explains that the trap was carefully set, but the tornado was not part of the plan, and Turnbull will savor every ounce of Hex's pain. He instructs the men to pick Hex up, they are leaving.

Several hours later in El Paso, it in night in the cemetery. Turnbull tells Papagayo that an unmarked grave is befitting a coward such as Hex and Papagayo says that they should have slit Hex's throat. Turnbull says the beating left him drained enough of blood and besides, suffocation is much more painful. Turnbull, Newbury, and Papagayo mount up and heads for their homes.

The Grave Robbers

Rain pours down and two men are digging up graves. One is relating a story of his dog greeting him from a long day away. He really misses that dog. The other man asks if he will get a new dog if there is enough gold on the corpse they are digging up. The first man says he won't, it does too much damage to a man's heart to keep burying dogs. When they open the pine box, they realize that Hex is alive, drag him out and get some whiskey in him. Jonah snatches the bottle from them, stumbles to his feet and makes off with the whiskey. They demand to know where he is going. He replies "mexico"

The Gambler

Two weeks later in Chihuahua, Mexico, Bat Lash is in a poker game with some men who are not happy to be losing. Bat explains he is in their establishment, playing with their marked cards and it was simple enough to turn the tables on them.They stand and draw their pistols but Bat says that they are all civilized men...

The Hired Gun

Tallulah Black steps from the shadows with a sawed off double barrel shotgun and she says she has an offer for the men. They laugh, wanting to know what an ugly woman could offer them. Bat says that they should hear the lady out. Tallulah tells Bat that if he splits his winnings she'll insure he won't end up dead. Bat says it is a deal. Tallulah first one, then another. The third gets a shot off but she guns him down (three shots from a double barrel shotgun (which really chaps me, because you can't put three shells in a double barrel).

Lash tells Tallulah that he is impressed and that she reminds him of someone. He suggests that they beat feet but Tallulah says they are in Mexico, there ain't no law. He invites her for a drink and she says he COULD be charming and they step outside.

The Men of a Thousand Cruelties

Bat Lash notices several men come riding through town and he says that this isn't good. Tallulah wants to know who it is but Bat mounts up and tells her to leave now. A bullet takes off the top of Bat's hat and El Papagayo, Quentin Turnbull and the rest block their way. Papagayo, being who he is, plays nice, as if he and Lash are old friends and asks the name of Bat's whore and that she is unusually ugly. 

Tallulah responds with her name and says she will happily shove the parrot up El Papagayo's ass. El Papagayo busts out laughing and Tallulah comments on how bad he smells. He responds that he can take a bath but she will always be an ugly one-eyed whore. She starts to draw but Bat intervenes and says that he and Tallulah must be leaving. However, El Papagayo reminds him that he had been told to stay out of Mexico forever. El Papagayo then boasts that he was just in Texas and ran into Hex. 

Tallulah asks if he ran into Hex, how is he still alive? Bat asks that she knows Hex? And El Papagayo explains that they killed Hex and since Bat helped Hex ruin El Papagayo's business of selling guns to the Apaches and now he will kill Bat Lash in retaliation. Lash says they should let Tallulah go, she has nothing to do with that. Suddenly two lassos drop over Bat and Tallulah and they are yanked off their horses and drug through town. Quentin says he is returning to his mines in Mariposa and he wants more of Papagayo's men to help.

We switch to Hex who has been staggering across desert sands for two weeks and comes upon a sand choked town. Everyone in town is massacred, the church bell clanging in the sand storm. He continues staggering through the town and into the jail. He spots Lazarus Lane locked in a cell. Hex asks what happened and Lane says it was El Papagayo. He tells Hex to open the cell but Jonah's knees buckles and he collapses on the floor unconscious.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Zero
Running Total - 767 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 265 V2)
Jonah's Injuries -Shot in the left shoulder (AGAIN!?!?), beaten to a pulp and buried alive
Timeline - 13 days
Rape Percentage -  25% (11 of 44)

This was pretty much a departure for J&J, who usually wrote One & Dones. First I'll get the complaints out of the way:

* The three shots from a double barrel shotgun (something that can't happen, to my knowledge)

* The art is very heavy on the inks, a LOT of shading and black, to the point we get no facial features on some characters.

* The artwork was somewhat confusing regarding the tornado, the fort, and the hole/escape tunnel. I wasn't sure if there WAS a fort and it wasn't very clear about how Turnbull and El Papagayo were able to hide in it.

Storywise... This one packs a LOT and promises a lot. We have almost everyone in the Hex universe except for Scalphunter and The Chameleon. I did enjoy that Turnbull's elaborate plan was elaborate in getting Hex into the trap but once they had him, they were quick to shoot him, beat him and bury him. It was only a stroke of luck that Jonah was saved, and even at that, he is barely surviving.

Tallulah and Bat lash had their own violent 'meet cute' and Tallulah barely tolerates Lash's verbosity, not unlike Hex. All in all, a good start to a six part epic, so hang on and we'll ride this one all the way to the end.

There was also a five page preview of Justice League: A Cry for Justice

Next Issue: El Diablo shows up, Tallulahholds her own against El Papagayo, and we meet Blue Eagle

Jonah Hex V2 #43 "The Hyde House Massacre"

 Jonah Hex V2 #43 Jul '09

"The Hyde House Massacre"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Paul Gulacy - art and cover

In darkness Jonah Hex rides up to an overarching gate with the words HYDE HOUSE spelled out in wrought iron. He surveys the area, dismounts and ties his horse in the trees outside of a massive log and rock structure (we later learn is a hotel). He opens his saddlebag, takes out a tomahawk, rope, knife, a line of tied matches and reloads his shotgun.

We see a sentry on an upper porch, lighting up a smoke. Suddenly a rope loops around his neck and he is yanked backward off the porch. He crashes to the ground and Jonah picks up the still burning smoke and sticks it in his mouth. He sneaks up the stairs behind another sentry and quietly slits the man's throat and tosses his lifeless body over the rail.

Cut to inside. An old man is tied to a chair in the lobby, a large fire in the fireplace and five men standing guard around the room. Jonah looks in through the window and sees one man come down the stairs inside, straightening his shirt as a mustached man heads upwards. Jonah hears a step behind him, he pivots, knife already airborne and it thunks soundly in another man's chest.

Another cut and Jonah rises up out a horse trough, another dead man nearby. He looks up at the house and draws the matches from his pocket. With a small smile on his lips, he climbs in through a window, grabs some lanterns and splashes kerosene around the room. He then strikes a match, sets the room ablaze and jumps out the window, runs across the porch to another window. He looks inside and sees the mustached man from earlier raping a woman.

Just then the blaze reaches outside the window and appears to set the horse trough on fire (?!?!). The men in the lobby take notice and head outside as Jonah crawls into the room with the woman and blows the brains of the rapist. The woman screams and covers herself. Jonah holsters his pistol and she stops.

The men in the lobby turn and head upstairs, Jonah pushes the woman out the window and then dives through the flames guns ablazin', taking the men by surprise. On man falls into the flames, jumps up and runs downstairs screaming in agony. More men downstairs, surprised, turn and open fire, killing their compatriot. As they stand around the burning corpse, Hex opens fire from the upstairs landing. One thug hides behind the old man in the chair and Hex runs down the stairs, through the gunfire and tackles the man. He then proceeds to beat the man to death with a pistol.

The fire has now spread to the lobby and the old man, still tied to the chair and lying on the floor whispers, "kate...". Jonah looks him in the eye and replies "She's safe." As the hotel starts to collapse around them, Jonah pulls the man from the chair, hoists him over his shoulder and then pushes open a nearby door into the kitchen. Another thug inside opens fire, Jonah ducks, grabs a meat cleaver and then with a swift toss, removes the thugs head from his shoulders.

Hex heads on outside, the old man over his shoulders, and comes upon the naked Kate, beating a man to death with a shovel. As the hotel explodes in flames, she drops the shovel, turns and races to the man, taking him in her arms.

The next morning Kate awakens, clothed, on a pile of hay in the barn. As she steps outside, Hex is loading all the bodies in a wagon. She walks over and caresses the face of the old man, her father. Kate and Hex ride into town, both silent. Tears fall from Kates eyes as she looks back in the wagon. Jonah's thoughts are his alone.

At the sheriff's office, the undertaker has all of the bodies laid out. The sheriff states that the corpses are burned so badly he can only identify two of them, the rest could be anybody. He offers Jonah $50 a head. Hex asks if the sheriff checked their pockets, but the lawman states that nothing of use turned up. Just them Mr. Dean Thomas arrives from the bank. Thomas expresses thanks that Hex and Kate escaped with their lives and Jonah states he would be even better when they pay him what is owed.

This is where things get sticky. Jonah was hired to rescue Mr. Hyde and Kate alive and even though they are grateful for Kate's rescue, all of the family's money was in the hotel. What with it burnt to the ground, there is no money to pay Hex. Jonah cites that if the ransom had been paid, the man and his daughter would have been killed. He figures what transpired was personal as Hyde was almost dead when Hex got to him. All said and done, Jonah figures half the agreed amount would be fair.

As second man with Thomas, the banker, speaks up and states that there is no money. The hotel was mortgaged to the bank, with it gone there is nothing and the bank is out thousands of dollars. The sheriff steps in with the bounty money on the two known men. Jonah exits the jail stating that his problem ain't the bank's problem. The bank has until sundown to pony up the cash and he'll be at the hotel getting drunk waiting for them.

The sheriff tells the men that he warned them of hiring Hex, they should have let him pay the ransom, now they have nothing AND have to pay up. Thomas states that is the problem, they promised two thousand dollars. The sheriff gestures towards the dead men and asks if their lives are not worth a thousand dollars. Thomas says with the hotel he could have ten times that but now he barely has two hundred dollars to his name. They had calculated that if Hex was killed, they were out nothing, if he rescued them the money could be taken from the Hyde's account. As it stands, all of Hyde's money goes to pay the bank the outstanding mortgage on the hotel.

The sheriff advises them to beg, borrow, or steal.

Walking away, Thomas asks the banker how money he has, to which the banker replies $123. The banker tells Thomas to use his head, he is a natural salesman and can come up with some sort of deal.

At the hotel in town, Kate Hyde is bathing as Thomas walks in, hat in hand. He tells her that they have been friends since she was a child and he would do anything for her. But now he owes Hex a thousand dollars and the best he has been able to gather is about four hundred. There is no money left in his account or her family's and Hex is a killer....

She agrees, she has seen him in action. Had the ransom had been paid the hotel would have been burned, she and her father woulds both be dead and Bobby Zane and his gang would be alive. She understands that Thomas has done all he can. SHE will go talk to Hex.

Jonah sits in a corner of the saloon, pouring some whiskey into a grazed wound in his shoulder. Kate walks up and starts to relate the deal made between Hex and Thomas. Hex tells her is was for two grand to get them out, now it has been amended to a thousand. Kate lays out the four hundred on the table and says that she is there to make a deal for the balance. Jonah takes a pull on the bottle, wipes his mouth and says he'll be in his room if she wants to come up. She states she will be there shortly.

The next morning Thomas is sitting in his house, shotgun across his lap as he sees Hex approach on horseback. Hex is followed by Kate and then the banker. Thomas walks out with the shotgun but Kate tells him to lower the weapon. She has papers for Thomas to sign. In the house, Kate explains that Hex and she reached an agreement, even though the hotel is gone, there is still the forty acres upon which it sat. Thomas concludes that Kate wants to sell the land and pay Hex out of the sale.

Hex corrects him, there will be no sale, just a transfer of ownership. Thomas says it is all Kate has and she states that she is alive and that is enough. With the transfer complete, Hex mounts up and Kate asks if he will build a home on it. Jonah states the land is currency and with the railroads and towns popping up, sometimes a person can't keep to themselves. He is gonna leave it clear and free. 

Then he rides off.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Fourteen, a real bloodbath
Running Total - 767 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 265 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - A bullet graze in the left shoulder.
Timeline - Two days
Rape Percentage -  25% (11 of 43)

This was a real barn burner (or hotel burner, if you will). The first half was a silent movie, the second half was perfect dialogue moving the problem forward. Nothing was wasted in this one and the two halves meshed perfectly in the storytelling. I did have a FEW quibbles. I didn't understand the transition where we saw Jonah rising from the horse trough. What was the reason he had to hide there? Also, wouldn't that have rendered his matches useless? I also didn't understand why the matches were tied together, almost like a fuse of some sort. And the fire, while spectacular and a good distraction, seemed a little over the top, but Hex has been doing this a lot longer than I have.

The rape of Kate seemed unnecessary, but your mileage may vary on that. Also, I think the story was written so that we first assume that Kate slept with Hex to pay off the balance, but then we learn of the transaction of the land. I can picture Jonah and Kate in the room, hammering out details. She seems like a strong woman (what with smashing a man's head open with a shovel and all) and I like to think that all that was offered was the land and not herself.

Gulancy's artwork was good, everyone was recognizable and the action played out well. 

Next Issue: Jimmy and Justin take on a big task, spinning out a yarn that will envelope six issues in the lead up to #50. Yup, we're talking about the Six Gun War.

Jonah Hex V2 #42 "Shooting the Sun"

 Jonah Hex V2 #42 May '09

"Shooting the Sun"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Jordi Bernet - art and cover

Colorado, We see three men standing in the street, sun to their backs. Hex is facing them, a chain on his wrist, and an old drunk looks onward from a nearby porch. The viewpoint whips around and we realize that Jonah Hex is chains to two large iron balls, each dragging his hands to his sides, unable to reach his pistols.

We flash back a few decades to Woodson Hex learning young Jonah how to be fast with a gun. (I just had a flashback myself to when my dad would ask if I wanted to be taught or learned. I asked what the difference was. He explained that being taught was a lot less painful.) The method Woodson is using is to have Jonah reach for a pistol on the table and Woodson tries to smash Jonah's hand with a wooden rod before he grabs the gun. Ginny starts to reprimand Woodson and he tells her to be quiet and she leaves. Then Woodson has Jonah try again with the other hand.

Later that night, Woodson is sitting on the porch with a bottle speaking to Jonah who is out in the yard. He tells of his own father being a real bastard, and the day Grandpa Hex died, Woodson went into town and tied one on. That was the day he met Virginia. We see that Jonah is standing in the dark, a large rock tied to each wrist and he is having to stand with his arms straight out from his sides. Virginia stares out the window and when Woodson falls alseep, she goes out in the dark, unties the rocks and holds Jonah close, her tears falling in his hair.

Cut back to present day. Hex stares at the three gunmen and the old man sits on the porch, lighting up a smoke. Flashback to the past and the next morning. Woodson awakes and asks Jonah how he is doing. Jonah is still holding the rocks aloft and Woodson goes out to him. He then notices the tracks in the dirt and realizes what Virginia had done. He goes into the house and commences to beat her. 

An unknown time later, Jonah and Woodson are riding into town. Woodson says that Virginia needs to learn her place and that he never wanted children. Now that he is saddled with Jonah, he is gonna be sure Jonah ain't no daisy. As the wagon rolls into town, a man is being assaulted in an alley and Woodson points out that the man is a daisy. Jonah says that the men are killing him. Woodson responds "So whut?"

They pull up in front of a saloon, Woodson tells Jonah to mind the wagon and then goes inside. Four local toughs show up and start hassling Jonah. He talks back and they pull him off the wagon, dragging him into an alley as a storm starts. They beat him with a large stick (possible an axe handle) and knock him out. Woodson shows up with a case of whiskey as Jonah comes to. Once again he tells Jonah to mind the wagon and he goes off to find the toughs.

He finds the four youths in a different alley and when they lip off, he smashes one in the teeth with the butt of a pistol and then proceeds to beat the ever-lovin' livin' hell out of all four of them. Leaving them lying in the mud he says "Never look for trouble with a Hex." Woodson returns to the wagon, coming up to a smiling Jonah and states "Now ya'll learn ta mind ME once we git on home."

Back at the farm, Jonah is forced to plow the field in the rain as his father lectures him about being weak, how he'll become string, and when Woodson thinks Jonah is ready, they'll go back to town and Jonah will sort those boys out, because a man should never have his father fight his battles.

Later that night, Virginia is asleep in bed and Woodson asleep at the dining table. Jonah is outside in the outhouse, urinating in his dad's whiskey bottle. He sneaks the bottle back to the table as Woodson asks what he is doing. Jonah says he was thirsty and got some water. Woodson says that whiskey will help him sleep better but Jonah turns him down. Woodson takes a long pull on the bottle, glares at Jonah, wiping his mouth. Jonah stares back and Woodson tells him to get to bed. Jonah obeys, with a happy smirk on his face.

Present day and the three men say they are gonna get on with it, to which Jonah starts laughing. They want to know what is so funny and Jonah points out that years ago, his father beat them senseless in that alley over there. They acknowledge that fact and that is exactly why they are doing this. They put out word about a fake bounty to lure Hex here so they could kill him and since his pa ain't there to save him....

The three men draw and fire and Jonah falls to his knees, the irons balls crashing into the dirt. The shots go over his head and with the chains slack, he draws and shoots all three men. 

He shoots the chain off his left hand and then gets up, holstering his pistols. He walks over to the men, bleeding in the street and as the ringleader raises his pistol, Jonah starts swinging the remaining ball and chain. "Never look fer trouble with a Hex." he says and then crushes the man's skull over and over again.

Jonah walks out of town, into the sun, ball and chain dripping blood into the sand. The old man on porch muses to himself "That boy is a mean son of a bitch."

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Three
Running Total - 753 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 251 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - As a kid, beat up by some kids and a lot of hand whacking by his dad
Timeline - Present day, probably just a few minutes, in the past, probably several days.
Rape Percentage -  24% (10 of 42)

This was a real good one. I always enjoy getting to see more of what drove Jonah to be what he is and so much of it was his abusive father. Not that I like seeing the abuse, but I appreciate the creation of the motivations of Jonah. 

Now I had to do a little bit of research on this one, just because Palmiotti and Gray write the way they do. First off, "Shoot the Sun.", I never heard this phrase before and it means to try something impossible because, well, it is impossible to actually shoot the sun. So what was the impossible task here? Was it trying to outdraw three men while your arms are shackles to a ball and chain? Was it surviving the abusive father?

Next up, one of the kids asks Jonah, "What's yer name, puke?" to which Jonah replies "Ah ain't no Missourian. Name's Jonah Hex." Which is a weird reply because Jonah IS from Missouri. I dug around as much as I could and could find no correlation as 'puke' being a specific slur for Missourians.

Then, during a conversation one of the thugs asks if anyone has a 'lundstrom' to which another asks 'A what?' EXACTLY!!! Is it a candy? A cigarette? Only thing I could find was a bookcase manufacturer. Guess I'll need to ask Justin and Jimmy to explain these last two.

On to the Hex family... the compassion that Virginia shows for her son is horribly gut wrenching. She tries to stand up to Woodson and when she can't she circumnavigates him, helping Jonah the only way she can. Her tears flow over him in the dark but none of that can wash away their pain.

And Woodson...what can be said of such and evil man who would beat his son and wife ruthlessly? And to top it off, I'm sure that Woodson knew that Jonah pee'd in the whiskey and either appreciated the subterfuge enough OR was so addicted to the bottle, that he drank it anyway. I also wonder what kind of man was Grandpappy Hex that would end up siring a reprobate such as Woodson. I'm sure there are some stories to be had there of the OG Hex around the time of Revolution. One more thing, on rereading this story, it dawned on me that the old man on the porch is actually Woodson himself, just sitting there, watching three men try to murder his son. True to his word, he doesn't intervene, watching the handiwork of his years of abuse play out.

Bernet, as always, has some top-notch work with this story. I would put this one on the Must Buy list. Also, this issue has a sneak peek of the Power Girl book, written by Palmiotti and Gray.

Next Issue: Jonah has a method of acquiring real estate in tough times

Jonah Hex V2 #41 "Sawbones: The Second Half"

Jonah Hex V2 #41 May '09

"Sawbones: The Second Half"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, David Micheal Beck - art and cover  

Jonah is naked, tied to the post in the 'Operating' shack of Sawbones. Tallulah lies dead on the table, Saawbones waxing poetic about what he saw on battlefields and how it lead him to the denial of the human soul. He pulls out Tallulah's heart and her brain, both still warm and steaming. He then approaches Hex, bloody saw in hand.

Jonah wakes up screaming to see Tallulah sitting in a chair across the room. She lights up a cigarette for Hex and explains that his hollering is not sitting well with the patrons and owners of the hotel, however, she has been running up a tab on Hex's behalf to calm their complaints. She tells him it has been two weeks and he wakes up every time screaming yet he has yet to tell her why he was almost dead in the river. He calmly tells her to be on her way.

She says that she will not leave him but she realizes that whoever visited this damage upon Jonah is not to be dealt with lightly. She understands vengeance and she has no intent of having Jonah be without aide when he brings down his wrath upon the perpetrator. He grabs her, intending to force her to leave and she slaps a hand across his mouth and starts berating him for his stubbornness. He pulls her forward and kisses her. She pushes him back unto the bed and proceeds to remove her clothing while straddling him.

Some time later, Tallulah is in the bar, talking to Ernest, trying to ascertain the location of one mad doctor. Ernest states that he has been unable to unearth the information when two men sidle up on either side, demanding to know where Jonah Hex is. One lays a hand on her, she spins and places a bullet upwards through his jaw and nails the other dead center as Ernest sneaks out the front door.

Ernest makes his way between two buildings and encounters Sawbones himself. The aproned doctor asks if they are there, to which Ernest acknowledges. Sawbones holds a pistol out to Ernest and instructs him to go back into the saloon, telling her he knows where Sawbones is at, lead her out into the woods and then kill her. Ernest hesitates, stating she is as mean as Hex. Just then Tallulah appears at the end of the alley and opens fire, with Sawbones returning shots and striking Tallulah in the neck. 

As she lies in the dirt, Sawbones slowly approaches, places the pistol in her mouth and finishes the job with a single shot. He stands and walks out of the alley, stating "I'm waiting on you, Hex."

Jonah wakes up screaming to see Tallulah sitting in a chair across the room. Jonah starts getting dressed, asking how long he had been sleeping this time. She tells him it has been four days and he says he is leaving and she ain't following along. She agree with no fight, conceding that Hex has to banish these dreams himself. She indicates there is something on the table for him, she has been busy and has located Sawbones and his location is on that paper. Jonah thanks her and leaves.

For an unknown length of time Jonah rides to get to Sawbones location and finally arrives at a barn at sunset. Inside Sawbones has a woman tied to a table, several skeletons hang from the walls and ceiling, he is giving a class to six students. Sawbones is explaining about ghost pain from amputations and that is where the questioning process is most productive.

Jonah sneaks up outside the barn and as he approaches the door, he is kicked from behind and lands inside. A henchman of Sawbones is standing on Hex's neck and holds him on the ground. Sawbones states he had been expecting Hex but he is surprised at the stupidity of Jonah's return. He orders the removal of the slave woman from the table and to be replaced by Jonah. Sawbones says that he had been searching for Hex and wonders where he had been hiding. 

Tallulah appears in the doorway and says that he was with her. She opens up with a shotgun, killing two men. She guns down another as Jonah recovers, pulling his pistols and mows down another four students. Sawbones breaks for the door but Tallulah shoots him in the leg, dropping him to the floor and Jonah picks off the final two students. Jonah tells Tallulah go up to the house and fetch something to drink, they are gonna be mighty thirsty.

Jonah straps Sawbones to the table and pulls the blood bucket from under the table. Sawbones starts bargaining, trying to come to some agreement and Hex pours the fresh blood into Sawbones mouth. Hex then reach for a lantern and says he had been thinking about how Sawbones said they are alike, but that ain't really true. Sawbones relents and tells Hex to torture him as he sees fit. Jonah shouts that he doesn't need his permission and smashes the lantern across Sawbones face, setting his head afire.

Jonah the douses the flames with more blood from the bucket, grabs another lantern and sets him alit once more. Tallulah walks in with a bottle of whiskey, stating it smells like a barbecue. Jonah pours more blood onto Sawbones and tells Tallulah to make tracks as he will busy for awhile. She says she would rather stay since watching him work makes her blood hot. Jonah relents, telling her to roll a smoke and keep quiet. He pulls a knife and says he's gonna try some new things tonight.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - six and Sawbones (eventually), so seven
Running Total - 750 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 248 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Kicked in the back and a foot on the neck
Timeline - Just under three weeks.
Rape Percentage -  25% (10 of 41)

Man o man o man o man, was this one gruesome. It was good to see a continuation of a villain, reminding me of some of the Fleisher run. Sawbones, as an adversary, wasn't really all that tough. He relied on Jonah falling into his lap in the prior issue and then Jonah getting bushwacked this time. However the  physical and emotional scars that Sawbones visited upon Jonah were almost equal to those Woodson visited upon Hex in the past.   

Again, the dialogue is top notch with Sawbones waxing poetic, and the interchanges between Hex and Tallulah is quite telling of their relationship (probably one of the top two relationships in comics. I'll let others comment on who the other pairing might be). And again, not a fan of Beck (I know that a double barreled shotgun needs to be loaded prior to a third shot being fired, something that Tallulah didn't do). The art was too dark (I don't enjoy black gutters, too hard to determine panel layout at times). All in all, not a bad story, but pretty gruesome and definitely R-rated if made into a film.

Next Issue: Speak of the Devil!!! We get some more of Jonah's past and Woodson's training up of the boy.

Outsiders #8 "Hex"

 Outsiders #8 Aug '24

"Hex"

Jackson Lanzing and Collin Kelly, story - Robert Carey, art - Roger Cruz and Adriano, cover

Ok, I'll be honest. Reviewing books with Jonah Hex guest starring roles are tough to do.  I normally don't know what the ongoing storyline is, I'm not emotionally invested in the current crop of characters and at times I can't really tell if Jonah is actually advancing the story or just a "Hey, let's throw a cowboy in here! What do we have available?"

Well, the only western character that DC seems to have is Jonah Hex. But this issue is a two-fer because it also contains Jinny Hex. I'll give a recap of the story, my views on that, how they used Jinny and how they used Jonah. Not sure any of it will be very pretty.

Our story opens with six shell casings hitting the ground, and mysterious silhouette approaches and Jinny Hex is pointing a six shooter saying that was a warning shot. She tells the approaching woman that this place ain't for her but Batwoman says that it will take a lot more than a gun to scare her.

Splash page exposes the two women standing in the main road of Zero, Texas. Jinny says that guns aren't for scaring, they are for firing. Batwoman states the town was evacuated 50 years ago (1974) when the mine closed down and that she is only in town to find someone that is in trouble. Jinny states that she doesn't need any help but Batwoman demands to know what is going on. Jinny tells her to turn around.

As Batwoman turns a ghostly cowboy tosses her aside. She responds with a quickly thrown batarang which goes through the ghost. Jinny then shoots the ghost, causing him to vaporize and a wonderful lightning display. More ghosts appear and Jinny shoots each one. She states they have been following her halfway across Texas, they don't stop coming and that gun is the only thing that works on them. Eventually there are too many of them and the two women hotfoot it out of there.

They make their way to a garage and Batwoman kicks open the door and as the ghosts pass through the walls, Batwoman attaches a small explosive to a bag of rock salt, tosses it in the air and the salt explosion neutralizes the ghosts.

Sitting down taking a breather, Batwoman asks if Jinny is Virginia Hex. Jinny replies that only narcs use her full name. Jinny asks how she knows her name and Batwoman recounts the following:

 

Two weeks earlier Kate gets a phone call from Jenny Crisis who tells her about Century Babies. She doesn't really explain who or what Century babies are but mentions a big guy under the waves singing prayers of his dead parents, a curious boy in every city and the girl with the gun in a town called Zero. We see Jenny Crisis walking through some rubble with people running away and she tells Kate she is doing fine as she explodes a few tanks, some humvees and several soldiers.

End of story.

Back in the garage Jinny and Batwoman both say they don't really understand what is going on and then there is a knock on the door and it slowly opens to reveal.....

The ghost of Jonah Hex!!!

Jinny asks what is going on and Jonah replies "Nothing you didn't start"

We then get a wonderful three page text story of Jonah explaining how he was four days out of Tucson and he had been shot in the shoulder. Things were not looking good, the buzzards were circling and Red Elliot and his gang were closing in. Hex was out of ammo and water. He curled up in a hole to die but instead found a crevasse, a damn deep one. And the further down he crawled, the deeper it seemed. He felt like he went downward for weeks and when he hit bottom he found a pistol. 

He picked it up and he didn't feel like he was dying, now he was dealing out death. He got out and found the Elliot Gang and started in to eliminating them but as he did, the whispers of the dead men were in his ear, leading him to the rest of the gang. Jonah finally kills the entire gang, including Red. 

He continued on, killing Tomahawk Jones, the Silverclaw Brothers, Colonel Jack. By the end of the month he had erased about 200 men without ever having to reload the gun. However, every man he killed haunted him. When Jonah tried to drop the pistol, the ghosts would close in and he had to pick it up again. It was like the pistol had a will of its own. He knew that if it got one more kill, the pistol would summon...something. 

Jonah buried the pistol in a box to stop it from getting the last kill. Jonah asked why Jinny picked up the pistol. Jinny explains that she had decided to leave everything in the trunk alone but one night a burglar broke into her place and kicked her door in. Awakened from sleep she just grabbed the pistol and killed the burglar.

Now Jinny is cursed just because she killed on guy. Now she can't even sleep for too long because the ghosts will get the gun and end the world? Jonah says that he doesn't know but whatever is calling to that gun can never get it. Batwoman tells Hex to take the gun but he says that he belongs to the gun as much as any of the other ghosts. He tells Jinny that he is sorry, she can never put it down and at the end of the day the last life it takes has to be hers.

Jinny looks at the pistol and says "A good guy with a gun". Batwoman steps up and states "No, not a guy. A bat." and grabs the pistol from her. Jinny tells her not to but Batwoman says she has been cursed since before she put on the cowl. Jonah laughs and says..

and Batwoman shoots him with the gun and makes him vanish.

Batwoman jumps on her motorcycle and takes off, the ghosts following her as she shoots them; she is running across the desert, being chased; sliding down bluffs being chased. Finally she is a flat desert, surrounds by thousands upon thousands of cowboy ghosts. She looks at the pistol, puts her finger to her ear and says "Batwoman to outsiders." and continues...

So lets look at all the pieces, starting with the art. I'm not sure I have ever seen work from Robert Carey but I don't really care for it. The style looks like everything was done in a computer and while some of the art looks really good, there is no motion, no dynamics. It is a bunch of still posed figures on a flat flat surface. I especially hated the rendering of the neon signs in the town. I may be getting into sign geek territory here (photographing neon is a hobby of mine) but Carey used a neon font to make the signs, therefore there is too much glass on the signs and the construction of the signs shows an ignorance of basic signage. If you have THE ZERO spelled out on one side of your sign, other other side should have it reversed so you can read it from both directions. Look at how this sign is drawn and you will see that from Jinny's side it would read OREZ EHT.

And the Welcome sign doesn't even have it on both sides (but why would it?) but it does have the double neon effect.

Another complaint is with the auto repair garage they break into. Look at this car. It looks like a photo that got ran through a filter to make it look drawn but the scale compared to Batwoman is all wrong. It's like a damn Power Wheel up on the lift.

Also, the story starts with six shell casings hitting the dirt and Jinny says "That warning shot was a courtesy". She references one shot but six casings? Artistic mistake or lousy writing? Either way, I blame Jessica Berbey (editor) Kames Reid (assistant editor) and Katie Kubert (group editor). 

I will say that I liked the graphics used during Hex's telling of his tale. They easily put it three pages what would have taken several more that they drawn everything. And Jonah himself had some pretty nasty scarring, pitching all the way into Harvey Dent territory. And the nonvariant cover was great. Moody, blending Jinny and Jonah together and we got Batwoman without that 90's trenchcoat. Sadly the cover uses Generation Hex which was used back in the Amalgam days (1997). 

On to the story. I can't get too much into how this fits in to the but any story should have some consistency  within itself and draw a new reader in. You stick Jonah Hex in a book to get my attention, you should be able to keep my attention and make me want to buy the next book. This fails big time.

I like the concept of the ghosts haunting the person with the gun but what danger is there to the wielder? We don't know. There is an unrealized danger but we don't know the gravity. The gun removes the ghosts and salt neutralizes them as well and keeps them at bay. We finally meet Jonah Hex in ghost form. In his story it seems like the gun has a will of its own, he is cursed and followed by the men he kills. The story doesn't indicate that the gun was killing men Hex didn't want to kill, it just seemed to make tracking them down easier. And Hex says that every kill felt like it was feeding the gun, and the next death would usher in .... something.

So he buries it... along with a butt load of other goodies that we have seen Jinny use from that trunk. 

But Jinny does kill one more person and that something never materializes?!?! Jinny says that if the ghosts get her the world will end. Honestly at this point of the story, the ghosts outside could have bum rushed her and won. Also, why is Jonah there? Was he killed by the gun? Because he says to Jinny that she can never put it down and the last life it takes has to be hers, alluding to suicide? Then how did Jonah put the gun down? And why, if Jinny is cursed can Batwoman just grab the gun from her? Why does she shoot Hex?

This book tried to make a compelling story about a cursed gun, never ending ghosts, and the end of world. Ya know what? The Sixth Gun by Cullen Bunn and Brian Hurtt did it a whole lot better. I will say the final splash page with the giant city cannon was pretty compelling and reminded me of something from a Kirby book. But was it enough for me to plunk down another $4.99 and continue with this book? Nope.

I will admit the characterization of Jonah seemed pretty good, much better than most we have seen in guest starring roles. And Jinny seemed pretty well written with what I saw of her in Young Justice. Batwoman is a cipher to me, having never read anything with her in it, but I sure can't say that she holds any draw for me.

I end up looking at the book and asking "Why have Jinny join the Outsiders book and pair her up with Batwoman?" I saw the answer in an ad near the back of the book...

Pride Month.

Jonah Hex V2 #40 "Sawbones The First Half"

Jonah Hex V2 #40 Apr '09

"Sawbones The First Half"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, David Micheal Beck - art and cover 

Hang on, this one is brutal:

Texas, 1879. We see a woman pleading for her life and someone trying to calm her but we then see a chisel hammered into her head and the top of her skull removed

The Good Doctor

Another woman is standing outside and is witnessing these actions through a window. The woman chokes back her tears and then turns and runs through the woods and into the night. Back in the building, a man with a butcher's apron is holding a bloody saw and we see his victim with her head poking up through a specially made table. Various organs in jars line the table and the man looks out the window, knowing that he has been spied upon.

To Catch a Killer...You Need a Killer

A few men are digging up a mass grave outside the house where the previous action took place. The witness and the sheriff stand at the edge of the pit. There are numerous bodies and parts in the pit and the sheriff asks the woman if she can give a good enough description for them to print up a wanted poster. She says that she will never forget that face.

The posters are quickly printed up and Jonah Hex is talking to the sheriff. The sheriff is saying that the man claims to be a doctor who travels around so that's why they called in Hex. He explains that the doc cuts people up with precision and takes out all of their organs to which replies, that sounds somewhat familiar. He never actually met that man but heard tales that had been told by freed slaves.

Some Legends Are Bloody

Kentucky, December 17, 1862

Hex recounts the tale: Back during the States War there were few doctors for the battlefields and several men stepped in with no training, some to help their fellow men, others to avoid the front line. There was one man from Louisiana, who had studied hoodoo and was with the Confederacy. He would often take wounded Union soldiers and experiment on them to extract information, further his own knowledge, and to train other so-called doctors. Some soldiers used the expertise of this doctor to gather information and would tolerate his gruesome tactics as long as he produced results.

Some of the Confederacy leaders actually noticed there was a higher mortality rate for Union soldiers in battles where this doctor was present. Several of the soldiers steered clear of him our of fear, disgust, or morals. The slaves hated him not only because of what he did but also his co-opting of their magic. The man was called Sawbones and the end of Hex's tale we see Union soldiers discovering a camp that has a pentagram made out of human limbs.

Bloodbath at Ramrod Dancehall

Farmington, New Mexico, 1879. One month later.

Sheriff Henry McClude and his deputy Jim sit in the dancehall. Jim is concerned about some men that are gunning for them. Three men come in, guns drawn, to warn the sheriff that Andy is coming and he is looking for revenge over the sheriff killing his brother. Andy barges in, words are exchanged and Andy shoots Sheriff McClude in the neck. McClude falls to the floor and Andy puts a bullet in the back of McClude's head, just as the sheriff's grown son Rick comes in. 

Rick opens fire just as the deputy steps up to stop him. Rick ends up shooting and killing Jim but continues shooting anyone and everyone he lays eyes on. A kerosene lamp bursts and the dancehall bursts into flames and Rick heads for the front door. He waits outside as men, ablaze, come running out and he guns them down in the street.

Just then Jonah Hex rides up and Rick whirls and draws on him. Hex tells him to take it easy, he is looking to talk to the sheriff. Rick, thinking Hex is with the gang that killed his father, shoots Hex in the shoulder, knocking him off his mount. Hex draws and kills Rick before losing consciousness as a crowd gathers.

Belly of the Beast

The wanted poster for Sawbones sits on a table and we see a knife being honed on a strop. It is Sawbones himself and Hex is sitting on the floor, bound to a 4x4 post. His hands are tied behind his back, and he is bound at the ankles. Several skeletons hang on the walls. Sawbones introduces himself as William Zimmerman and says that based on Jonah clothing and his scar, he must be Jonah Hex. Zimmerman says that he is happy to meet Hex because they are both death dealers, long lost brothers, if you will. 

Zimmerman keeps with his dissertation as he slices the bottoms of Jonah's feet and then cauterizes the wounds. Zimmerman excuses himself, he has 'pupils' coming to town, he gags Hex and then leaves. Jonah then starts slamming backward into the 4x4 post he is bound to and eventually cracks it and manages to make his escape. He staggers across the countryside on his bleeding bare feet, arriving at a river. 

He crawls into the river and floats downstream, finally becoming entangled in a fallen tree.

Lady in Black

and, lo, who shall come upon him and rescue him? None other than Tallulah Black.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - one
Running Total - 743 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 241 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - shot in the shoulder, feet sliced and burned and other injuries from slamming into a post until it breaks.
Timeline - This covers a month.
Rape Percentage -  25% (10 of 40)

First off, this is Beck's third shot at the art for Jonah, and it as it was before....meh. On to the story: I'm not a big fan of vivisectionists as villains, they are much too cruel for my tastes. I did like the story of how cruel some of the doctors in the Civil War were. It is pretty well known the harsh conditions they had to work under and how often they had to perform surgeries and amputations without any pain killers. Not too far of a stretch to imagine someone steeped in arcane practices to revel in the pain and draw others in with them, in the name of 'science'.

It is a trope of the villain thinking he and the hero are two sides of the same coin (or the same side of two coins) is, well, a trope and it gets a little tired. It IS nice to see a bad guy last an extra issue and we get a Done in Two rather than a Done in One. And it is great to see Jonah just have a run of bad luck that almost ends in death for him. Guy can't be lucky all the time (except in the case of waterfalls or bears in caves).

Next Issue: The return of Dr. Sawbones and probably the most brutal end to a story that we have yet seen.

Jonah Hex V2 #39 "Cowardice"

Jonah Hex V2 #39 Mar '09
"Cowardice"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Rafa Garres - art and cover 

It is night in Blackburn, Kansas at Holly Mae's Saloon and Dancehall. Jonah is losing a few games of checkers with an old timer when Holly comes up and announces that everyone should drink up. In the morning Blackburn is going dry and she will be out of business due to the National Prohibition Party but she is heading to Texas to start a new establishment. Jonah has a few choice words regarding other people's morals and their propensity to force said unto others. 

After a few more drinks, Jonah considers have a talk with the local church group in the morning.

We cut to three men in prison attire running as hard as they can across the countryside. They come upon a family eating dinner by the campfire outside their tent home. The prisoners gun down all three, dad and the grown son and daughter. After eating the family's meal they strip the bodies and one of the prisoners is complaining that the other two are wearing all the mens clothes, so what is he to do? Another of the prisoners shoots him in the head and the remaining two ride off.

Morning in Blackburn and the church is shutting down Holly Mae's. Suddenly a wagon comes down the street. A young man looks in the back of the wagon and is frightened off. Jonah looks inside and sees the bodies of the murdered family. He asks who that is and someone states it is sheriff Steadman and his son and daughter. There is also the murdered prisoner as well. 

Deputy Gardner arrives and asks the wagon driver what is going on. The driver replies that he found them killed when he was driving past this morning and shows discarded prison clothes. Gardner says a telegram came in last night about a prison break up in Durango but the deputy just left it on the sheriff's desk. The wagon driver asks if they are gonna get up a posse and the deputy says that it doesn't concern them, he'll see to it that the men are captured. Hex tosses a query of "By yerself?"

Gardner is having nothing of having a drunkard assist him and he and Jonah exchange barbs. Holly Mae intervenes as well as the old checker player, telling Gardner that he best listen. Gardner tells the old man to shut up and he shoots back with "This here's Jonah Hex". At that point, the wagon driver tells Gardner that Hex is the real deal.

Finally Gardner relents, saying that Hex will get any bounty that is offered. Jonah says they will settle up once the prisoners are in custody or their graves. Gardner says they will be brought in for a proper trial to which Jonah replies "Ya say that now". Jonah also tells Holly Mae to not leave town just yet.

We find the two prisoners riding up to the farm of Simon Millwood. The prisoners ask if the two horses in the pen are all that Millwood has. He affirms their suspicion and one of the prisoners says that his horse is lame. Millwood examines a hoof and sees that the horse has thrown a shoe and has stone bruises. This horse can't be ridden even with a new shoe. A prisoner sees someone coming and they force Millwood into his cabin. They ask if Millwood has any weapons, just a shotgun and a Winchester.

The prisoners tell Millwood to get rid of the oncoming riders and not say a word about the two of them.

As Jonah rides up he points to hoof tracks by the trough and tells Gardner that the prisoners are here. Jonah says that they stopped here because one of the horses threw a shoe and that this ain't gonna end without bullets. Millwood recognizes Gardner but not Hex and says that he can get rid of them. The prisoners tell him to stay put. Gardner calls out for Millwood to come out for a minute.

Jonah says that ain't gonna work and if Millwood ain't dead, Gardner is gonna get him killed. Just then the door starts to open and Gardner says that Millwood is coming out now. A shot rings out and Gardner is hit in the shoulder. A prisoner has Millwood around the neck, using him as a shield and tells Hex to drop his guns. Jonah replies with "No" and a gunshot that catches the prisoner in the neck. 

The second con rushes out the door, guns blazing and is mowed down by Hex. In the ensuing silence, Millwood lays on the porch, shaking and crying and Gardner drawing his weapon on Hex. Jonah ignores him and assists Millwood to his feet, telling Gardner to holster the gun before Hex takes it from him. Gardner dismounts and tells Hex that he is being brought up on charges. Jonah turns on him and slaps the pistol out of his hands.

Jonah grabs him and says that those men had been tried and locked up, escaped and killed three people and maybe more. 

and then throws him to the ground. Gardner lies in the dirt, saying he never wanted to be a deputy, Steadman pinned the star on him last year and he hasn't been able to take it off, but now is the time. Jonah tells him to leave it there, they are gonna get a drink.

As evening falls, Gardner, Hex and a wagon of corpses come rolling into Blackburn. The town is emptying Holly Mae's and they ask if Deputy Gardner got the killers. Hex tells them it is Sheriff Gardner and he has a proclamation to overturn. Gardner stares at Hex and Hex replies that a sheriff has to make tough decisions.

Gardner takes a deep breath and tells the crowd to put the sign back up on the saloon. They start to disagree, saying that Steadman backed them and Gardner says that Steadman is dead, HE is now the sheriff and he says the saloon stays open.

Later there is much celebrating in the saloon and the old timer is congratulating the new sheriff on his decision. Holly Mae whispers a thank you into Jonah's ear and he says she can thank him later upstairs. Just then several armed men barge in with evil intent in their eyes. Hex tells the sheriff it is time to step up. Gardner approaches the men and we see him point over to Hex and the men turn and run. Hex looks over at the old man and says..

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Two prisoners.
Running Total - 742 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 240 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None.
Timeline - Takes place within one day.
Rape Percentage -  25% (10 of 39)

Kansas didn't have statewide prohibition until 1881 but this seemed to be a local restriction only enacted in Blackburn (a fictional town) but the temperance movement had a very strong hold throughout the state, so we really can't put a date on here other than between Hex's scarring and 1881.

This story wasn't a bad one but it had two things that I am tired of: art by Rafa Garres and Palmiotti and Gray's obsession with unlikable Christians. Garres art is muddy, blurred, hyper kinetic and very hard to understand at times. The anti-Christian trope is understandable from Jonah's viewpoint but they are always depicted as hypocrites and busybodies (something that Fleisher didn't make an absolute). 

I would rank this one as a "read it if you want to read everything with Jonah in it"

Next issue: Jonah learns that it really sucks to be on the wrong side of an HMO.