Jonah Hex V2 #49 "The Six Gun War Part 6"

Jonah Hex V2 #49 Jan '10

"The Six Gun War Part 6"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover 

We open on Quentin Turnbull, behind his desk, smoking a cigar and none too happy. The female assassin sisters have reported back and Turnbull is not one for taking their excuses. But Turnbull is satisfied that he and his men will be more than prepared for Hex's arrival.

Dusk at Turnbull's mine and up in the mountains surrounding Turnbull's camp are our intrepid four, Hex, Lane, Black, and Lash. Bat notes that they are outnumbered 30 to 1 but Hex does not care. Lazarus tells Hex that Bat has a point and Tallulah asks if they are scared. Hex states that his observation has discovered that Turnbull has a weakness in that his men are outnumbered by the miners they exploit. Hex plans on empowering the miners to turn on Turnbull.

Bat hopes that Jonah does not suggest that one of them infiltrate the camp and deliver a rousing speech. Hex says that Bat has his numbers wrong....

Down at the mine, Turnbull's men mercilessly beat and whip the natives being used as mining labor. One of them sees a miner put a gold nugget in his mouth and Turnbull's man shoots the native instantly and then orders another worker to rip out the nugget using a pickaxe. Up on the mountain Bat asks once again, what the plan is. Jonah sneaks up behind Lazarus and puts him in a sleeper hold, causing him to pass out. Bat gets very angry and tries to stop Hex and Tallulah draws on Lash. Just then there is a bright light an El Diablo appears, Bat Lash seeing him for the first time. El Diablo says that the time for vengeance is nigh and they must wait for his signal and he vanishes.

Bat doesn't understand why Hex had to choke out Lazarus and Hex explains that the demon only comes when Lane is asleep. He instructs Lash to drag Lane off into the bushes where he will be safe and the three of them head down to Turnbull's encampment.

Down in the mines a small boy dies from lack of water and El Diablo appears in the mine, setting Turnbull's taskmaster ablaze. El Diablo tells the workers to grab whatever they can fashion into a weapon and rise up at his signal.

Outside Hex, Lash and Tallulah ride into the camp and start shooting. The miners start to rebel and attack Turnbull's men but start getting mowed down. One of the miners tosses dynamite and then all hell breaks loose.

Turnbull hears the commotion and arms himself along with his guards. Miners break through the doors and Turnbull kills several of them as he makes his way out the back. Hex and the others continue to thread their way through the mayhem when they finally see Turnbull making tracks. They give chase, encountering a gatling gun, catching some dynamite dropped by a shot miner and then tossing it into the Gatling nest. Chasing Turnbull into the dark jungle, Hex fires a shot and brings down Turnbull's horse. Tallulah and Lash dispatch the two guards alongside Turnbull and Hex dismounts to have it out hand to hand.

Fists are exchanged and Turnbull draws the sword from his cane and slices Hex across the chest and then stabs him in the thigh. Hex punches the cane, breaking the blade and the rises up, grabbing Turnbull, extracting the broken blade from his leg and readies to run it through Turnbull's face.

Just then Santos Nunez appears with several other men. He tells Hex that he has been sent by General Ricardo Paolo to escort Turnbull to the border without incident. Hex tells Santos to leave them alone, it is a private matter. But Santos says that his orders will not allow him to let Hex kill Turnbull. They can resume their conflict once they are in Texas. Tallulah urges Hex to go ahead and end Turnbull. Turnbull taunts him to do it and Hex tells Santos that he can turn his back and pretend Turnbull was dead when he got there.

Santos says that he cannot do that and the entire Mexican Army will hunt Hex down. Hex drops the blade and tells Turnbull that this isn't over. Turnbull mounts up on a spare horse and as he rides off, he tells Jonah that Jeb will be avenged.

Left alone in the Dark, Lash observes that was an unexpected resolution and Tallulah says she wasn't afraid of the Mexican Army, they could have taken them. Hex tells them to shut up, Turnbull will get his and he has lost his gold mine and Hex needs a drink. Lash says that Hex needs a doctor and shouldn't they go retrieve Lazarus. Jonah says "What the hell for. I don't even want you around me right now."

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Wow, there is no way to know exactly but we'll go with 5 we see him shoot and two running the Gatling gun for a total of seven.
Running Total - 800 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 298 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Fistfight, chest sliced open and stabbed in the thigh.
Timeline - Just one night so the whole saga sits at five weeks..
Rape Percentage -  22% (11 of 49)

Lots and lots of shooting, several explosions and it was all pretty unsatisfying. Was it because of such little use of El Diablo, the old west version of The Spectre? Maybe. All he really did was burn up one bad guy, tell the miners to rise up and then he is gone. He really could have turned the tide, but he isn't the main star of this book.

Was it because of the final fight between Hex and Turnbull? Possibly. Jonah didn't show any signs of the stabbings he got last issue, riding hard, jumping around, fists swinging without a grunt or slowing down.

It possibly was because of Santos showing up out of nowhere to intervene at the very moment Hex was going to kill Turnbull. Santos was mentioned by Turnbull earlier in the issue but it really didn't register when I was reading this originally. And I think the artwork didn't help this story at all, dark, murky, muddy. Just not my cup of tea.

Ya know what is? Next issue....art....story...life changing as we hit issue 50 in Volume 2 (Only one downside in the entire book, but that is for next week.

Jonah Hex V2 #48 "The Six Gun War Part 5"

Jonah Hex V2 #48 Dec '09

"The Six Gun War Part 5"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover

Jonah stands in the darkness, Blue Eagle and his warriors dead in the street. Then, slowly Chako appears and says "How many times can a man kick a dog before the dog bites the man? All Chako wanted to be was your friend." He tells Hex that they could have been a good team. Jonah notices the African warrior approaching from the left, two women with whips coming from behind, and the Middle Easterner from the right. Chako starts laughing, saying that it was he that betrayed Hex and now he will watch him die.

Jonah points his pistols out to the sides and fires but appears to have missed the men. The two women unleash their whips, wrapping them around Hex's ankles and jerking him off his feet. They drag him backwards and he suddenly shots the whips in two. Laying in the dirt, Hex notes "Ya brung swords and sticks ta dispatch me? Ya been misinformed, this here's a gun fight." and he quickly kills the African and the Middle Easterner.

Chako turns and runs with Jonah getting off a shot to his knee but the two women quickly throw knives, piercing both of Jonah's shoulders and then rush him, more knives drawn. Jonah falls to his knees, firing, and striking the women in their knees, dropping them wailing into the dirt. Jonah starts to extract the knives from his shoulders when Flannery appears.

Flannery stands over him, taunting him and beating him from behind. He mocks Hex and his relationship with Bat Lash and suggests the two share a sleeping bag. Flannery kicks Hex in the ribs and the two women stagger to their feet and advance on the men. Flannery turns, telling them to stay back as they have had their chance. Hex, on the ground, manages to remove a knife and then buries it in Flannery's ankle. Flannery goes down screaming and Hex quickly dispatches him and then retrieves a pistol. 

The women beg Hex not to kill them. Jonah tells them to hotfoot back to Turnbull, telling him that money can't buy Jonah's grave. They leave and Jonah holsters his pistols and staggers down the street to find Chako, crawling slowly away. Jonah walks up and steps on Chako's bloody knee. Chako says that he saved Hex from a hanging and from the men in the desert, does that not count for anything? Hex shrugs and punches Chako in the jaw. Chako, being Chako, rambles on and on about how he wants to live when Jonah hears something down the street. 

It is the Mexican swordsman. Hex asks Chako if that is the last assassin. Chako says yes and Jonah states that Chako was trying to distract him. Jonah then plugs Chako square in the forehead. Jonah turns to the Mexican and asks why did none of them brought a gun. He slowly draws his pistols and fires with the Mexican deflecting first one bullet and then another with his machetes. Having spent his last two bullets, Jonah notes his luck may have run out. 

The Mexican approaches and Jonah turns and runs for his horse just as the Mexican closes in. Jonah dodges first one swipe and then a second, planting a fist on the Mexican's nose, dropping him to the ground. Jonah gets to his saddlebag and retrieves a tomahawk, turning to face the assassin. Jonah gets a machete to the thigh and the Mexican gets a boot to the nads. Jonah then quickly pivots and cuts off the Mexican's left arm. The Mexican swings again, Jonah ducks and then buries the tomahawk in the man's forehead.

Hex gathers up his tomahawk and pistols and staggers back into the saloon. He finds the room where Bat Lash took the saloon girl and wakes him up. The woman jumps out of the bed and says she'll fetch the doctor. Jonah tells her all of Turnbull's killers are dead so she better not double cross him. She rushes out naked and Hex tells Bat Lash to wake the others. 

That morning Bat lash and Lazarus Lane survey the damage wrought by Hex. Lane states that they have to bury Blue Eagle and his men. Tallulah appears, telling them that Comanche should be buried with their horses and weapons, but seeing how their group are in need of those things and don't have time for such customs, the Comanche would probably be fine with a big burning.

The two men start stacking bodies and Lazarus inquires as to Hex. Tallulah says he is sleeping. Bat wonders why Jonah didn't wake them once he saw the fate of Blue Eagle. Tallulah says that Hex knew what was coming and would not say a thing to anyone. Lazarus notes that maybe Hex holds some affection for the three of them to which Bat notes that Tallulah at least got to share Hex's bed. His wit is rewarded with a right cross to the jaw from Tallulah and she storms off.

Bat swears Hex and Tallulah should marry and Lazarus says he would not wish that woman on any man, including Hex. Bat says that if they survive the coming confrontation with Turnbull, it will be the end of his dealings with Hex. Lazarus chuckles, saying that they will always try to stay on Jonah's good side. Bat replies that Jonah doesn't have a good side.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Chako and five assassins, so we add six to the total
Running Total - 793 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 291 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Whew, knives to each shoulder, beaten and kicked, a machete to the thigh.
Timeline - The end of the evening from last issue and into morning So far, four and a half weeks.
Rape Percentage -  23% (11 of 48)

Ok, a few things. On the good side, Jonah was really down to his last two bullets when facing off with the Mexican. Twelve shots in this issue and each one accounted for. I appreciate things like that. Chako was good in this one, turning on Hex in a manner befitting the self serving Chako. And it was good to see him finally be dispatched.

Now for the assassins. What the hell are wrong with these guys? Two of them were completely out of their element and didn't use on ounce of surprise, just walking down the street getting shot at. Flannery was an idiot to not knock out Hex before allowing himself to be distracted and the Mexican pulls a Wonder Woman move with machetes? As Jonah says, it was a gunfight that only he was prepared for and he should have fared better than he did.

While the pacing of the story was good and tension was well done, the whole concept of six assassins working alone without guns against the best bounty hunter in the world just comes across as stupid. Last issue did try to show a little bit of competition between them but they were cardboard cutouts just to be knocked down by Jonah.

Next Issue: The big payoff, Hex V Turnbull, this time without red clay and crows (Movie reference, ya'll)

Jonah Hex V2 #47 "The Six Gun War, Part 4"

 Jonah Hex V2 #47 Nov '09

"The Six Gun War Part 4"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover

El Papagayo continues to hang by his wrists, the wind whips sand around him as Hex, Lash, Tallulah, Lazarus Lane, Blue Eagle and his warriors ride out of the town, heading for Turnbull's mine. Hours pass and Hex, Lash and Tallulah scout on ahead and spot a large number of horsemen heading their way. Hex identifies them as trouble and the three turn tail and head back to Blue Eagle and the others.

They come to a river, ride across, meeting Blue Eagle on the other side. It is there they turn to thwart the oncoming horsemen. As the Mexicans close in, Hex and his bunch open fire, taking out several. Then they turn head further downstream, looking for a better place to hole up. They find a spot and hide the horses further up in the hills and hunker down, prepping for the fight.

The Mexicans approach the river and send a rider into the water. He shouts that they cannot pass through the canyon without paying the tax, they are outnumbered and they want the woman (typical marauder stuff). Bat Lash lets out a chuckle saying the Mexican's clearly didn't get a look at Tallulah. She gets riled and opens fire on the Mexicans. There is a LOT of back and forth arguing between  she and Hex and Lash until the main group of riders storm across the river and the firefight erupts in earnest.

Lazarus Lane, not one who is not normally involved in such violence has to gin up his courage and start shooting. After several minutes of gunfire, the Mexicans take the worst of the damage, turn and run.

Back at Turnbull's mining operations, he is 'entertaining' the assassins that he has hired, including a pair of female twins that were not mentioned last issue. He tells them that their targets are experienced and possess a lot of luck. Flannery, the Irishman, says he knows about luck and Turnbull replies that he doesn't care if Hex's companions are killed, he is paying for Jonah's head. The Nizari Isma'ilis states that he shall be the first one to return with Hex's head and Flannery tosses an insult his way. Tempers flare and a fight almost breaks out before Turnbull shouts them all into silence.

Turnbull explains that six miles north of the mines is a small town with a saloon, he knows that Hex's troupe will stop there because they cannot go long without partaking of liquor. It is there that Hex must be killed.

Soon Hex and his group arrive at the small town and head into the saloon with Blue Eagle waiting outside. As the group bellies up to the bar who should appear than none other than Chako. And what should hit Chako's jaw but none other than Jonah's fist. Bat Lash is lured away by a saloon girl, Hex and Tallulah pour their drinks and walk off and Lazuras Lane finds a comfortable table.

Eventually Chako slides up alongside Hex and starts telling him that they are all in danger. Turnbull has hired the entire town to get Hex and friends drunk and then kill them Chako tells of the assassins, six or seven, and once Hex is drunk, the plan is for a villager to give the signal and the killers will move in. Hex suddenly grabs Chako by the throat and shouts that he won't give him any more money and to take off. Chako whispoers to Hex that was very clever and Hex replies that Chako should tell Blue Eagle outside to keep an eye open for the killers. Chako leaves and the night continues onward.

Much much later everyone is passed out or asleep and Hex rises and strides to the door. As he steps out into the moonlight he finds the street littered with the dead bodies of Blue Eagle and his warriors.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Once again, a lot of shooting and bodies everywhere. No way to tell who killed whom. We see that Hex took at least five shots so let's call it eight
Running Total - 787 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 285 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - We know it takes about two days to get from the Mexican town where they left El Papagayo to Turnbull's mine, so two more days.So far, four and a half weeks.
Rape Percentage -  23% (11 of 47)

This one was all set up, the semi-calm before the storm. There was some action with the shootout against the Mexican bandits but the geography of the fight (crossing the river, crossing back, etc) was more confusing than anything. And the constant banter between the main actors was almost annoying. It was good to see Chako, but so far, this is the weakest chapter in the story. 

There was also a six page preview of R.E.B.E.L.S. Annual #1: Starro the Conqueror!

Next Issue: Hex faces off against the gang of assassins and it goes.... well....

Jonah Hex V2 #46 "The Six Gun War, Part 3"

 Jonah Hex V2 #46 Oct '09

"The Six Gun War Part 3"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover

El Papagayo drops his hand, signaling the firing squad to kill Tallulah and Bat Lash, but the resulting gunfire eradicates the firing squad as Jonah Hex, Lazarus Lane, Blue Eagle and his warriors come riding into the Mexican village bringing vengeful carnage. Tallulah and Lash pick up guns and start to open fire as well.

Hex chases down Papagayo and the first order of business is to obliterate his pet parrot. Hex then jumps off his horse and tackles Papagayo and punches him senseless. Lash and Tallulah run up, she grabs Hex, kisses him, slaps him, and kisses him again. Hex pushes her away and Lash waxes poetic about the unholy offspring those two would create if given the chance. Tallulah pulls her pistol and takes aim at Papagayo but Hex halts her hand, saying he has a plan for the Mexican bandit. 

Blue Eagle rides up, stating that one of Papagayo's men escaped but Hex says to let him go, he'll tell Turnbull that Hex is coming. Tallulah questions losing the element of surprise, but Jonah says Turnbull will be plenty surprised, besides, Jonah wants Turnbull to think he is prepared for Hex.

The escaped bandit rides all night, the next day and night and finally arrives at an Aztec pyramid, shouting that he must speak with Turnbull.

One week later, Papagayo hangs by his wrists, asking if Hex is gonna kill him. Hex says he isn't sure and Papagayo says he will not tell of Turnbull's location. Hex replies Papagayo should have because he'll have to answer to El Diablo. Hex tells Diablo that once he gets the info, Diablo can do what he wants with Papagayo. Hex bids Papagayo good night and walks off, leaving the Mexican bandit in terror of what is to come.

At Turnbull's hideout, a Mr. Robertson is questioning Turnbull's methods but Turnbull says that for the amount of money he has offered, all of the assassins he has contacted will show up. Turnbull runs down the list:

* A Nizari Isma'ilis with no name from the Middle East

* A Masai warrior from Africa

* An Irish killer from New York

* A Mexican mercenary

Robertson doubts they will succeed, but Turnbull tells him to mind the bookkeeping and ignore the blood work.

Back in Northern Mexico, Hex and Tallulah are sharing a bed and she asks if Diablo has broken Papagayo. Hex replies that he ain't heard no screaming for the past hour and Tallulah asks if she can pose a question. Jonah says she can go ahead and kill Papagayo. But she wants to know why Turnbull is so vengeful. Jonah says it goes back to the war and Tallulah observes that he is going to keep the rest to himself.

We then get a flashback of Jonah in the Civil War and we get a retelling of the Fort Charlotte Massacre. I won't retell it here, but it is very accurate to the original telling of the tale. Once the flashback finishes, Hex says he's done talking for the night but Tallulah says he hasn't said a word for five minutes.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Wow, there is no way to tell how many men Jonah killed in this one. Let's say a dozen
Running Total - 779 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 277 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - A punch to the jaw
Timeline - Two days of the bandit escaping plus two more weeks. For the whole story thus far, a little over four weeks
Rape Percentage -  25% (11 of 46)

This was a better chapter with the reuniting of our merry band but we now have our second deus ex machina with Hex and company killing the firing squad and the proper instant (the other being Hex's rescue from being buried alive). The flashback took up nine pages, leaving thirteen to advance the story, but the flashback was required for new readers, I get it.

The gathering of assassins piqued my interest, but we'll see how all of this plays out over the next three issues.

The rest of the book had a four page preview of Magog #1 (yawn)

Next Issue: A gathering of assassins and yet another friendly face appears.

Jonah Hex V2 #45 "The Six Gun War, Part 2"

Jonah Hex V2 #45 Sept '09

"The Six Gun War Part 2"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover

Devils's Night

We open on the town seen last issue. Dogs roam the streets, eating the corpses. Suddenly there is a burst of supernatural flame from the jail and El Diablo appears. He kicks Hex awake and Jonah scrambles away saying "Ah ain't ready yet!". Diablo states that he is not here to collect Hex but he needs Hex's help. Diablo points to the unconscious Lazarus Lane in the cell and says that Diablo can't touch him.

Diablo instructs Hex to carry Lane to the hotel, there are dangers to deal with.

The Woman is Insane

Mexico

It is night and El Papagayo walks up to his men standing guard outside of a barn. He asks if the men have been enjoying themselves with the captive woman and they hesitate. Papagayo chides them but Sanchez says that they do appreciate it but..... none of the men can bring themselves to do it. Other men have done things to her that they cannot do. Papagayo calls them children and cowards and goes into the barn. As he closes the door, he tells them they will be hearing her loud and painful screams shortly. 

Moments later, Papagayo exits the barn and we can hear Tallulah mocking Papagayo's manhood. Papagayo tells the men to have the whores dress Tallulah and then lock her away with Bat Lash. He walks away as as Tallulah starts laughing maniacally.

Back in Texas, Diablo tells Hex that Papagayo must pay for his crimes and Hex agrees. Diablo says that Hex must take Lazarus with him to Mexico but Hex refuses. Diablo then lifts Hex by the throat and tells him exactly how this will play out because Diablo HAS to avenge the town. As Diablo leaves Hex swears that some day he will figure out how to kill Diablo.

Hex then picks up Lazarus, carries him outside the hotel and dumps him into a horse trough. He tells Lazarus they are going to find horses and then ride for Mexico.

Meanwhile, in Bat Lash's cell, Tallulah is thrown inside and Bat starts weakly laughing. She asks what is so damn funny and Bat relates how he overheard then men talking about her being the first woman to actually strike fear into Papagayo. She says she will kill Papagayo for killing Hex, once they make their escape. Bat figures they have a snowball's chance in hell of getting out but Tallulah figures as old as the place it they should be able to wiggle the bars out of the clay walls before sunup.

Next day Jonah and Lazarus are making their way south across the desert. Lazarus asks how well Jonah knows Turnbull. Jonah replies "Too well" and Lazarus keeps prying as to why they are going there. Jonah says it's not a bounty, but he is gonna settle a war that has been brewing since before the states reunited.

As they are riding in a canyon, they are surrounded by Comanche and Hex recognizes Blue Eagle. Blue Eagle says that he and his warriors are on their way to kill the Mexican and the other men who allowed the women and kids of the tribe to die in the tornado. Blue Eagle says they have heard of the white man owning mines in Mexico. Hex says that Blue Eagle and his men are welcome to ride along, but killing Turnbull falls upon Hex and Hex alone. 

Blue Eagle agrees to the terms and explains that the Mexican also has two prisoners, a yellow haired man and the angriest woman he has ever seen.

With dawn breaking over the mountains, Bat and Tallulah manage to wrest the bars out of the cell window and then climb down the wall to freedom....only to find themselves face to face with four of Papagayo's men. They start joking about how ugly Tallulah is and she rushes them, kicking one in the teeth and grabbing his gun, she then opens fire, killing all four.

More men come rushing out and surround them. Bat asks Papagayo if they could come to some sort of agreement. Papagayo says that he will agree to shoot them and they can agree to die. He puts them against a wall as his riflemen line up. Papagayo raises his arm and shouts "Ready....Aim....FIRE!"

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Zero
Running Total - 767 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 265 V2)
Jonah's Injuries -None this time
Timeline - Possibly one night and the next morning. For the whole story thus far, two weeks
Rape Percentage -  25% (11 of 45)

For the second entry in a six part tale, this one isn't too bad. We had the driving conflict in the prior issue and here we are still gathering all the players (El Diablo and Blue Eagle). I'm very happy that J&J introduced a new character with Blue Eagle, lazier writers would have shoe horned in Scalphunter into a story where he didn't fit.

Some of the time frame didn't seem to fit. While the sun was low in the east when Hex and Lazarus met Blue Eagle, it seemed earlier in the day when Tallulah and Bat escaped. Maybe not, with the sun having to make it over the mountains....but then again we have next issue to deal with.

And let's address the situation between Tallulah and Papagayo. While she is one tough bird I don't really see Papagayo turning tail and running as easily as he did. But, then again, they did have Tallulah stripped naked and hung like a piece of meat in the barn. Seeing what had been done to her may have been too much to him. Dunno.

But the story does clip along at a good pace and is never boring. I DID appreciate the slight nod to the Princess Bride, you can never go wrong with that.

Next Issue: The first round of retribution, Turnbull amasses his forces and FLASHBACK!!!

Jonah Hex V2 #44 "The Six Gun War, Part 1"

  Jonah Hex V2 #44 Aug '09

"The Six Gun War Part 1"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover

Texas 

Jonah is riding along in a thunderstorm when a dead Indian falls from the sky, and then another. Jonah looks ahead and a huge rain-wrapped twister has hit an Indian village and is dropping natives and horses from the sky. Jonah continues onward, closing the eyes of a dead Indian boy and eventually riding into a fort. Jonah addresses a soldier, Major Newbury. The Major turns and says "You must be the bounty hunter." Jonah inquires if the damage is from the tornado and the Major explains that it came upon them quickly and didn't go well for the Comanche.

Jonah asks about a huge pit that the soldiers are pulling Indian corpses from. Newbury explains it was an escape tunnel that was unto a teepee and they found it before the storm hit. Jonah calls him a liar in that it is not an escape tunnel and wasn't meant to be one. This ruffles Newbury. Jonah says that Newbury summoned him to the fort to capture some rogue Comanches but the Comanches here in camp wouldn't have run off with their bravest men outside the fort, plotting an escape. Jonah says that the hole was a shelter fashioned for this time of year.

Newbury tells Hex not to worry about a few dead Indians, seeing as to how Jonah's troubles began months ago in order to spring the trap into which he has just stepped. Then we see Quentin Turnbull, El Papagayo and Papagayo's men emerge from the pit. Turnbull pulls a pistol and shoots Hex in the left shoulder, knocking him from his mount. Newbury bends down, relieving Hex of his weapons and Papagayo gives him a quick kick to the wounded shoulder. Turnbull tells the men to beat him but not kill him....not yet.

Several hours later Jonah is a bloody mess and the beating continues. Turnbull explains that the trap was carefully set, but the tornado was not part of the plan, and Turnbull will savor every ounce of Hex's pain. He instructs the men to pick Hex up, they are leaving.

Several hours later in El Paso, it in night in the cemetery. Turnbull tells Papagayo that an unmarked grave is befitting a coward such as Hex and Papagayo says that they should have slit Hex's throat. Turnbull says the beating left him drained enough of blood and besides, suffocation is much more painful. Turnbull, Newbury, and Papagayo mount up and heads for their homes.

The Grave Robbers

Rain pours down and two men are digging up graves. One is relating a story of his dog greeting him from a long day away. He really misses that dog. The other man asks if he will get a new dog if there is enough gold on the corpse they are digging up. The first man says he won't, it does too much damage to a man's heart to keep burying dogs. When they open the pine box, they realize that Hex is alive, drag him out and get some whiskey in him. Jonah snatches the bottle from them, stumbles to his feet and makes off with the whiskey. They demand to know where he is going. He replies "mexico"

The Gambler

Two weeks later in Chihuahua, Mexico, Bat Lash is in a poker game with some men who are not happy to be losing. Bat explains he is in their establishment, playing with their marked cards and it was simple enough to turn the tables on them.They stand and draw their pistols but Bat says that they are all civilized men...

The Hired Gun

Tallulah Black steps from the shadows with a sawed off double barrel shotgun and she says she has an offer for the men. They laugh, wanting to know what an ugly woman could offer them. Bat says that they should hear the lady out. Tallulah tells Bat that if he splits his winnings she'll insure he won't end up dead. Bat says it is a deal. Tallulah first one, then another. The third gets a shot off but she guns him down (three shots from a double barrel shotgun (which really chaps me, because you can't put three shells in a double barrel).

Lash tells Tallulah that he is impressed and that she reminds him of someone. He suggests that they beat feet but Tallulah says they are in Mexico, there ain't no law. He invites her for a drink and she says he COULD be charming and they step outside.

The Men of a Thousand Cruelties

Bat Lash notices several men come riding through town and he says that this isn't good. Tallulah wants to know who it is but Bat mounts up and tells her to leave now. A bullet takes off the top of Bat's hat and El Papagayo, Quentin Turnbull and the rest block their way. Papagayo, being who he is, plays nice, as if he and Lash are old friends and asks the name of Bat's whore and that she is unusually ugly. 

Tallulah responds with her name and says she will happily shove the parrot up El Papagayo's ass. El Papagayo busts out laughing and Tallulah comments on how bad he smells. He responds that he can take a bath but she will always be an ugly one-eyed whore. She starts to draw but Bat intervenes and says that he and Tallulah must be leaving. However, El Papagayo reminds him that he had been told to stay out of Mexico forever. El Papagayo then boasts that he was just in Texas and ran into Hex. 

Tallulah asks if he ran into Hex, how is he still alive? Bat asks that she knows Hex? And El Papagayo explains that they killed Hex and since Bat helped Hex ruin El Papagayo's business of selling guns to the Apaches and now he will kill Bat Lash in retaliation. Lash says they should let Tallulah go, she has nothing to do with that. Suddenly two lassos drop over Bat and Tallulah and they are yanked off their horses and drug through town. Quentin says he is returning to his mines in Mariposa and he wants more of Papagayo's men to help.

We switch to Hex who has been staggering across desert sands for two weeks and comes upon a sand choked town. Everyone in town is massacred, the church bell clanging in the sand storm. He continues staggering through the town and into the jail. He spots Lazarus Lane locked in a cell. Hex asks what happened and Lane says it was El Papagayo. He tells Hex to open the cell but Jonah's knees buckles and he collapses on the floor unconscious.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Zero
Running Total - 767 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 265 V2)
Jonah's Injuries -Shot in the left shoulder (AGAIN!?!?), beaten to a pulp and buried alive
Timeline - 13 days
Rape Percentage -  25% (11 of 44)

This was pretty much a departure for J&J, who usually wrote One & Dones. First I'll get the complaints out of the way:

* The three shots from a double barrel shotgun (something that can't happen, to my knowledge)

* The art is very heavy on the inks, a LOT of shading and black, to the point we get no facial features on some characters.

* The artwork was somewhat confusing regarding the tornado, the fort, and the hole/escape tunnel. I wasn't sure if there WAS a fort and it wasn't very clear about how Turnbull and El Papagayo were able to hide in it.

Storywise... This one packs a LOT and promises a lot. We have almost everyone in the Hex universe except for Scalphunter and The Chameleon. I did enjoy that Turnbull's elaborate plan was elaborate in getting Hex into the trap but once they had him, they were quick to shoot him, beat him and bury him. It was only a stroke of luck that Jonah was saved, and even at that, he is barely surviving.

Tallulah and Bat lash had their own violent 'meet cute' and Tallulah barely tolerates Lash's verbosity, not unlike Hex. All in all, a good start to a six part epic, so hang on and we'll ride this one all the way to the end.

There was also a five page preview of Justice League: A Cry for Justice

Next Issue: El Diablo shows up, Tallulahholds her own against El Papagayo, and we meet Blue Eagle

Jonah Hex V2 #24 "All Hallows Eve"

Jonah Hex V2 #24 Dec. '07

"All Hallows Eve"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray - story, David Michael Beck - art and cover

Two men are in full blown knock-down drag-out fight in a bar. One man is knocked out and a local official checks him out and announces the fallen man is dead. In the crowd observing is Jonah Hex and Bat Lash, discussing pugilism, with Bat explaining that only a trained fighter can withstand a beating from another fighter. Hex replies with, "Wanna bet?" and then sheds his shirt, but not his hat nor sidearms, to take on the winner, Bluett Boyd. 

  The fight proceeds and ends up being a two-swing affair, with Boyd missing and Hex connecting resulting in Boyd kissing the floor. A young man runs into the saloon with a telegram for Jonah and he heads out, with Lash tailing behind, uninvited.

Halloween in Hell Town

Three weeks later: Hex and Lash are riding into Coffin Creek under cover of darkness. They ride up to the local brothel and Hex encounters the madam, Crystal Ray Adercrombie. Hex asks why she hasn't asked other gunmen to help her out and Crystal explains that Bill Bradley outta Kansas came and tried to oust this man from Crystal's establishment, with no effect. Hex, Lash, & Crystal head up to room 9 and right before Jonah heads inside to evict this unwelcome guest, Crystal tells him that Bradley, right before leaving town, said that the man in room specifically asked for Jonah Hex.

Hell's Vengeful Assassin

In the room is none other than El Diablo and Jonah demands to know where Lazarus Lane is located. El Diablo unleashes his whip, wrapping it around Jonah's neck, bringing Jonah to his knees. Diablo states that the town is marked for death this All Hallow's Eve. Diablo has been imprisoned in the room so as not to interfere in the town's fate. A prairie witch by the name of Esmeralda Moorland lured Lazarus Lane away from Diablo and unless Lazarus and Diablo are reunited within three hours, Diablo will return to Hell and the entire town will die. 

Beams of unholy fire burst forth from Diablo's eyes, bathing Hex in fire.

Hunting the Supernatural

Hex steps from the room, his eyes glowing with fire and his voice twisted into that of Diablo. Hex tells Lash to follow him and they walk out into the street. We get to see the town through the eyes of Lash, everything looks normal, as well as through Hex's eyes, wherein everyone is a twisted misshapen demon. 

Walking up to the saloon, Hex demands two men produce Lazarus Lane and then he shoots both of them, rendering them both into flaming skeletons. Once inside the saloon, Lash sees Lane bound and gagged, hanging from lantern fixture in the ceiling. Everyone in the saloon, possessed by Esmeralda, is eating the raw remains of a freshly slaughtered bovine that is spread out across the bar. They all mutter the name of Hex. 

The witch commands that they all kill both Hex and Lash and the gunfight ensues. Hex's shots render the townsfolk into flaming skeletons while Lash's bullets produce only normal effects. Lash takes note of the fact and Jonah tosses a sidearm to Bat. The gun, while smoking hot from the fires of hell, only shoots regular bullets while being wielded by someone other than one possessed by Diablo. Jonah unleashes the whip and cuts Lane down, ordering Lash to take him back to the hotel. Bat is quick to comply.

Jonah and Esmeralda fight it out in the bar while Bat Lash tries to make it back across the street, but all hell has broken out  with townsfolk slaughtering each other in the street. Lash finds his way to the brothel barred by two men. He takes them out with a flourish of playing cards and a well placed boot tip and then dives through a window.

Back in the saloon, Hex and the witch continue to battle when suddenly, with a burst of flame, El Diablo appears. Using his fire whip, he entraps the witch and liberates her head from her body. Bat lash enters the saloon saying that the town is returning to normal.

Dawn the next morning finds Jonah and Bat in the company of Crystal and one of her ladies. Bat is recounting the time he saved Jonah. Finally, Jonah announces that he is hitting the hay and the lady goes upstairs with him. At the top of the stairs, Hex and his companion encounter Lazarus Lane, who thanks Jonah for his help. Grabbing Lane by the neck and driving a finger into his chest, Jonah replies with "Yer welcome."

Bat Lash invites Lane to a hand or two of cards, but Lazarus states that he has overstayed his welcome in Coffin Creek and will be leaving soon.

Statistics for This Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - We see 7 killed by Jonah, but there were probably more in the saloon. I'll stick with 7.
Running Total - 653 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 161 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Possessed by the devil himself.
Timeline - Three weeks of travel and a night or two? Let's settle on 22 days and this one takes place after "An Eye for an Eye".
Rape Percentage -  34% (8 out of 23)

  I wasn't a big fan of this one. I really enjoy Bat Lash, especially with Hex, but I have always have (and always WILL) enjoy Jonah outside of the regular DC Universe with all of its supernatural and superheroic trappings. Lazarus Lane is an interesting character when handled by J and J, but Diablo doesn't fit into my vision of Hex's world. And Beck's artwork just doesn't do it for me, something is always slightly 'off', it tries too hard to be photographic. It looks traced, maybe?

Oh well, make of it what you will.

Next Issue: We teeter on the brink of the turn of the century and get a surprise visit from the past.