Comics Cavalcade Calendar #6

Sgt. Roy Thunder frees POWs in the last days of WWII

Roy Thunder and his Rolling Thunderheads #82 Nov 1959

Pitchman-A-Go-Go #65

Personally, this ad would have been more interesting if Stan the Man was wearing a bikini top and throwing a beach ball. I didn't say I would have enjoyed it, it just would have seemed like something that Grant Morrison would have written....in 3D

Weekly Wonderous Moment In Comics #51

So, as I was telling you earlier, Jimmy Olsen, cub reporter, went to the zoo with a professor that said he had developed a machine that would allow people to read the minds of animals. That sort of thing was really at the top of the public's Want List back in 1957. Sadly, the machine didn't work. Not until a gorilla started pushing some buttons. (park your cursor over the pictures for extra Chris Sims inspired fun. I work hard to make you laugh.)

Well, I guess it didn't work after all. Jimmy can't read the gorilla's mind, he HAS the gorilla's mind and vice versa. Of course, jungle Jimmy may hurt himself so the professor lets Gorilla Jimmy out the cage to rescue his own body.

Now remember, Jimmy had summoned Superman via the signal watch just a few seconds earlier. Supey shows up just in time to...

WAIT KIDS!! How many things can you see wrong with this picture?
1) Superman has a green leg.
2) Superman is hitting the tree.
3) Gorilla Jimmy and Jungle Jimmy appear to be .. uh...well, uh.. DON'T LOOK KIDS!!!!
4) The professor still hasn't contacted his attorney to keep his inventing arse from being sued from here to Texarkana!

After a good laugh, everything doesn't get sorted out by Superman. Supes tries to recreate the experiment to reverse the process, but even though he tried the over 65 million button combinations, they failed. But Jimmy has to get to work. Superman puts jungle Jimmy in a huge enclosed area on Perry White's estate and Gorilla Jimmy heads for work.

Gorilla Jimmy does a ton of good deeds around Metropolis, saving kids from burning buildings, holding up falling buildings while Superman fixes them, ya know, everyday cub reporter turned Gorilla in an orange suit whilst wearing a hat kinda stuff.

Anyway, Superman finally realizes that Jimmy's ultrasonic watch contributed to mind switch and he gives the mind machine to jungle Jimmy who presses the same combination of buttons that he did earlier. Jungle Jimmy is suddenly regular Jimmy! Yay! But Gorilla Jimmy is suddenly...


Wow, Superman, while you stopped off to get your cape bleached you were letting a rampaging gorilla loose at the Daily Planet. Ya know, for an old fart, Perry White has one helluva a vertical on him. Maybe the OKC Thunder should sign him up.

Anyway, that's the story of Gorilla Jimmy Olsen. But here is one last shot of Gorilla Jimmy and Jungle Jimmy.

Hee hee, Jungle Jimmy is scratching himself. hee hee hee

Jonah Hex & Green Lantern movie release dates

G4 has the release dates for Jonah Hex & Green Lantern movies. Jonah is slated for August 6, 2010 while Hal gets the nod for December 17, 2010. Hmm, not great dates for comic book films, but it's better than February, which is the kiss of death.

Comics Cavalcade Calendar #5

Morgdruk is defeated by the continued perseverance of Professor Stan

Tales to Stupify - Giant #6 Apr. 1968

Eldest #3

WARNING: If you enjoy the DC Silver Age, you may be offended by this post.

Ok, so I'm hearing that Flash:Rebirth is getting ready to be published and that makes me ask just one important question: What's the big deal with Barry Allen?

Why does everyone absolutely love this guy? I mean, I grew up reading all my dad's old Silver Age JLA books and he always seemed like a nice guy, but not anything special. What made him different from Carter, Ralph, Hal, Arthur, Ollie, or Ray? Honestly, any Flash adventures I ever saw where he wasn't with the league were pretty boring.

Compare this with all the old Superman books I grew up with. Superman always seemed a little campy to me, but I wrote that off as him being Superman and who's gonna compete with him? Also, compared to the Detective Comics that dad had plenty of, Flash was just silly. Of course, that was when Neal Adams was doing Batman, so maybe that's not a fair comparison.

This is my point: Name something Barry Allen did that was more heroic than what he did in Crisis on Infinite Earths. The sole reason he's so beloved by the general comic book reading populace is the fact that we've been beaten over the head with how great a guy he was. You never see anything about how he was boring and dull. All we ever see is the current heroes fawning over how great he was. And in the Crisis he was great... for three issues right before he died.

Of course none of this takes away from the amazing courage and heroism that the character showed during the original Crisis. By sacrificing the way he did, he gave the other heroes of his and future generations a standard to live up to. He was held up as the model of what it was to be heroic. But only because of how his career ended. Not because of what he did while alive. My argument is just that Barry Allen inspired more people while he was dead that he did while he was alive. Heck, even Batman agrees with me:

And you can't argue with the goddamn Batman.

Jonah Hex #70 "The Mountain of the Manitou!"

Jonah Hex #70 Mar 1983
"The Mountain of the Manitou!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Ross Andru & Dick Giordano, cover

Jonah is kicking the dead carcass of White Claw into a hastily dug grave outside the snowbound cabin where he and Emmy Lou Hartley were holed up. Emmy comes slowly out of the cabin and Jonah chastises her for being up and around so early after being stabbed. She says that she has been cooped up in that cabin for a month now (assuming she means from when she first brought Jonah there) and winter has started. If they don't leave soon, they'll be stuck there for the entire winter.

As they ride off, Emmy asks if Jonah is going to go after the last man responsible for Cassie Wainwright's death. Jonah tells her that fifteen years is too long to hold a grudge and he is just gonna move on.

Meanwhile, several miles away, Ernest Daniels is confessing his past sins to his pastor. He unloads, telling of the theft of $100,000.00 and the death of Cassie. Daniels explains how he has built an orphanage, the town hall and the school, all in an attempt to ease his guilt. The pastor suggests confessing to Cassie's husband and asking for forgiveness. Daniels explains that she had a fiancee and he thinks he knows where to locate him.

That evening, Daniels is packing his bags and he two grown sons are quizzing him about his travels. he explains that he has business with Jonah Hex, showing them a newspaper touting a headline about Jonah killing a hired gun in Gravesboro. He tells them he is heading for there in order to locate Hex.

Several hours later, we find Jonah and Emmy crouching behind some boulders on the outskirts of the Shoshone village where he recently escaped. Jonah is bound and determined to get his dragoons back. Jonah jumps out of his hiding place and beats the crap out of two sentries and sets fire to a tee pee to cause a distraction. Running through the camp, he ducks into the chief's tent, punches the old chief unconscious, grabs his holster, guns, and hat. Heading out of the camp, he catches an arrow in his right shoulder and guns down the Indian that wounded him. Running hell-bent for leather, Jonah finds Emmy waiting with a couple of horses and they make their escape.

Several hours later, they have set up camp and Emmy has removed the arrow from Jonah's shoulder when they hear gunfire. They head out to investigate.

The gunfire is coming from Jason Daniels (son of Ernest Daniels) and several men hiding atop a cliff, firing down on a carriage driven by Ernest Daniels and his other son Tim. Jason is hoping to kill his dad & brother in order to inherit the entire Daniels fortune. Just then Jonah & Emmy come running up and Jonah is just able to knock Daniels out of the way of more gunfire.

The four of them are holed up in a ditch when Daniels recognizes Jonah and vice versa. They are unable to make an escape into the woods, so Jonah has Emmy grab a rope from their horse and they all head for a nearby cliff. Jonah throws the rope around a large boulder and tosses it over the side, letting it snake towards the river below. Jonah orders everyone over the side. Daniels slides down, followed by Emmy, Tim and finally Jonah.

Sadly, the rope doesn't reach the river and the four of them are dangling in the air. Of course, the rope breaks, throwing the four of them into the raging river. They manage to grab onto a huge log and after several minutes of churning through the rapids, they hear the upcoming waterfall. Jonah, using the rope they still have, manages to lasso a tree on the bank and pull them all to safety.

Once on the shore, they make their way to a nearby cave in the cliff face to find shelter. All they find is a quick clubbing to the head.

When they awaken, they are all tied up and are face to face with the Great Manitou. Ke'tci Manitowa (aka Great Manitou) says that he knows they have been following him, trying to locate his secret shrine and learn of his plans. Several years ago the Manitou had a dream of a great war between the whites and the Indians. The Indians were almost completely wiped out, except for those who followed him to the great cave in the mountain, where he had stockpiled provisions. For decades the Indians hid in the mountains and when they finally emerged they started a massive war against the whites, killing them all and returning the land to the Indians with the Manitou as their god.

Jonah starts to tell the Manitou what he thinks but all he gets is a kick in the face for his troubles. The Manitou then reveals that it will be HE that will start this war between the whites and the Indians and he will start it tonight by exploding a cliff over the Little Rainbow River, blocking the river and flooding the entire Campanas Valley. He will plant an Indian medallion at the scene of the explosion and the whites will riot against the Nazis....uh, the Indians. Anyway, the Manitou finishes his rant, gathers up his minions and departs.

Left guarded by a lone Indian, Jonah thinks of how to escape. He tells Emmy to pull some bullets from his gunbelt. She pulls them out and hands them to Jonah. Hex manages to flip the bullets into a nearby fire. When they go off, Jonah tells the Indian that it's their friends come to rescue them. As the Indian comes closer, Jonah launches himself headfirst into the Indian's groin. The Indian knocks himself out on a rock and Emmy is able to grab the knife that the guard dropped.

Emmy cuts everyone loose and they begin their escape. Sadly they can only locate one horse, so Jonah decides to head out on his own but he is suddenly stopped by Jason Daniels and three of his thugs. Jason is there to collect on his inheritance!!!



Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - 1
Running Total - 378
Jonah's Injuries - knocked out, arrow in right shoulder, kicked in the face
Timeline - Probably only a few days after last issue. This book covers one day, a night, and into the next day. Jonah once again states that we are 15 years past the death of Cassie, putting us in 1874. UPDATE: Nov 1877

This book is another example of Fleisher interweaving multiple plots. We have the Manitou, Jonah's revenge on Daniels, Daniel's son, and more of Emmy. It's a pretty good issue, the crazy Indian doesn't make much sense, but he's a crazy Indian, so how much sense does he HAVE to make?

Next Issue: we wrap up the Cassie revenge story, the Manitou gets what he deserves, and Jonah goes shopping for jewelry, fine Mexican jewelry.