Jonah Hex V2 #27 "Star Man"

Jonah Hex V2 #27 Mar '08

"Star Man"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray - story, Jordi Bernet - art and cover

A man walks towards us, light blasting all around him, streaming from him, blurring all details. Hex is tied to a tree and the man offers Hex some water from a canteen. He bends forward and explains why he didn't kill Hex when he had the opportunity even though he KNOWS what Hex did all those years ago....

New York Harbor

A young man named Victor and his father, who has a wooden leg, disembark from a ship into the teeming mass that is New York City. They locate lodging and inquire as to possible employment. The hotel clerk gives them directions and then adds "You'll find slim pickings since after the war ended this week,"....... We'll come back to that later.

The two go to the room and the father instructs Victor to stay put and hide the rest of the money and he'll be back soon. The father locates an employment line that is for hiring policemen. When he gets to the head of the line he tells the men at the head table that he was a peace officer in his old country. They insult him and say he will be needing both feet to work. The father explains that he also taught literature until he went into the military and that he also will not stand for being insulted. One of the men, a New York Sheriff, shoots the father's wooden leg in two. Laying on the floor, surrounded by lawmen with their pistols pulled, the father eyes a priest sitting at the head table and asks if he condones this treatment of an unarmed man.

The priest replies that they don't have time for this, kill the cripple and take him outside as a warning to others. As they ready to shoot him, they ask if he has any last words. The father explains that he has a boy. The Sheriff states that he now has an orphan.

We see Victor waiting the rest of the day, all night, and then at daybreak he inquires of the hotel clerk. The clerk states he has been at the desk all night and not seen him. He does tell Victor where he sent the father for work and Victor takes off through New York to find his dad.

Victor finds the corpse of his father hanging from a statue of a saint outside a church.people casually pass by as if it is an everyday sight. A drunk in the gutter spins the tale of what transpired and points Victor in the direction of the employment line. Victor spies a pistol on the hip of a man, pulls it, walks past the line and exacts his vengeance upon the priest, a sheriff, and another man at the head table. He is about to kill another sheriff when he is pistol whipped on the back of the head.

Cut to.... Jonah Hex is speaking to two men in an office and they are instructing him to sign the proper papers in order for the funds to be transferred to him. Hex signs and leaves the office and walks through the streets of New York. He stops to ask directions to the train and then heads out to follows the directions. Suddenly we see Victor steal Hex's sidearm and run into the employment office. 

Hex gets into the office and we realize that it was Hex that knocked Victor out. He tells the Sheriffs that the boy is no relation and he only wants his pistol back. The head man doesn't believe him and they have a stare down with Hex winning. Hex picks up his gun and the Sheriff says the boy is staying with them. Hex doesn't care and the Sheriff states they'll beat the boy within an inch of his life, 'have some fun with him', and then hang him. Hex walks out holstering his pistol.

  Walking down the street Jonah remembers his own childhood at the hands of his father Woodson. He stops, pulls his firearm and next we see him killing every last man standing in the employment office.

Jonah takes the limp form of Victor to a Catholic orphanage and leaves him in the care of the nuns.

Back to present day, the man of light stand over Hex and we realize he is Victor. Victor postulates he has been tracked by Hex for three days and Victor is now worth four hundred, maybe six hundred dollars? Jonah states the amount is now one thousand dollars and asks if Victor is gonna kill him or just blind him with that coat? We then see that the light coming from Victor are Sheriff badges from lawmen he has killed over the years. He has been gunning down crooked lawmen as he roots them out after learning of the  corruption back in New York.

  Victor tells Hex that Hex's horse is tied up a few hours north along with all of Hex's supplies. Victor is going to head South and finish what he has started. Hex will be able to get out of his bonds and the next time the two meet Victor will not just sneak up and knock him out, he WILL kill Hex. Victor explains that he does 'private' bounty hunting for folks seeking justice and are unable to obtain it through conventional means. He has eight hundred dollars he has saved. He gives the money to Hex, thus appeasing Jonah's sole motivation in this encounter.

  Jonah snarls that he isn't the only one hunting Victor, and Victor is two hundred short.Victor rides off, the money scattered around Hex.

  An unknown time later, Hex comes upon a campfire in the night. Victor is stripped, gagged and died to a tree. Three Indians sit nearby when a lawman, Sheriff Pete, comes riding up.  He ask why the Indians have ripped off his clothes seeing as he only told them to capture him and tie him up. They explain that Victor killed one of their men. Pete replies that they get to split the hundred dollars three ways instead of four, then.

Pete explains that a man Victor recently killed, Christopher Casey, was Pete's brother. Pete pulls a knife. Pete asks if Victor has anything to say and pulls away the gag. Victor shouts for Hex to save him and take him into custody. Hex steps from the shadows and guns down the three Indians as Pete hotfoots it out of there. Hex unties Victor who grabs a knife and runs off into the dark, we hear a scream and Victor returns covered in blood and tells Hex to take him in.

Next day Hex wonders why they have to go all the way to Yuma when they were closer to Sterling. Victor explains that he killed the Mayor's Brother-in-law in Sterling. In Yuma, Hex turns Victor over to Sheriff Dokes. Victor asks Dokes if he remembers a family named Michaels that lived on the land Dokes now owns. Dokes tells Victor to shut up or he won't get a fair trial. Victor taunts Dokes, asking if it would be like the fair trial Mrs. Michael's husband and children got when Dokes killed them all?

Victor snatched Dokes' gun and holds it on both Hex and Dokes. Dokes says he won't get away with it, but Victor states that he will, he was paid handsomely to kill Dokes. He instructs Hex to drop his gunbelt and lock himself in the cell.

Later we see Hex killing time in the cell, reading the paper and smoking. A woman walks in to the office and frees Hex. She says that she was sent by Victor to let Hex out and to give him an envelope. Hex opens the envelope and pulls out two hundred dollars. He asks the woman's name. She is Mary Michaels. Jonah smiles and....

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Three men in New York and three Indians in Arizona.
Running Total - 670 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 178 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None.
Timeline - This one has a wide time range, we don't know how long it took Jonah to hunt down Victor but it took about four days to ride to Yuma once Hex apprehended Victor. This is based on what information I could uncover regarding Sterling, Arizona (founded in 1865 in present-day Prescott) places it about 220 miles from Yuma. That makes it about a three-four day ride.
Rape Percentage -  33% (9 out of 27) I'm counting this one in the 'Rape Story' column because of comments made by the Sheriffs in New York.

Overall, this was a good story and Victor was a good character but there were flaws that takes this one down a few notches in my eyes.

First off, the timeline. The hotel clerk states "after the war ended this week" so that puts the tale in early April, 1865. But I did some digging and Lee surrendered to Grant on April 9th, 1865, BUT President Johnson didn't officially declare the war over until August 20th, 1866 (there was a LOT of other stuff going on.) We do know that Hex was scarred in 1866, but not exactly when. So, while I initially bristled at this timeline 'error', I guess the clerk was being factually accurate in his statement. Therefore, this story takes place in August 1866. (guess this doesn't count as a negative then)

Next up, Crazy Church People make their appearance. Yup, we have a Catholic priest that is just fine with killing a crippled man for no good reason (granted, we do get to see nuns, albeit without guns, practicing mercy and compassion). There are corrupt 'Church People' just like there are corrupt people in every facet of society (in fact, I once had a pastor that said "you haven't been screwed over until you've been screwed over by a Christian.") but the 'evil church person' is becoming a reoccurring theme in Hex V2, almost as much so as the 'rape story' trope. 

Which brings us to the comment made by the Sheriff about 'have some fun' with Victor and 'when he is spent', leads me to lean toward rape being discussed. Sigh, such lazy writing at times. By the way, for folks wondering why I DO keep a Rape Percentage Counter going, It's because Chris Sim's actually dropped this book from his reading list because of using that plot device as a crutch too many times.

The positives? Well, Bernet's artwork is a big plus on this one. At times all of his women look the same, but he usually is able to make the men in the book distinctive enough that he reminds me of Jose Luis Garcia Lopez, although a very scratchy version of Mr. Lopez.

I also enjoyed Jonah's motivation for saving Victor, remembering what a hell-hole his own upbringing was AND, despite Woodson quoting the Scripture at time while beating Jonah, Hex still took Victor to a religious organization for safe-keeping.

Next Issue: I may need to start more Percentage counters as we encounter more Crazy Church People and have another tongue cut out.

Jonah Hex V2 #8 "Never Turn a Blind Eye"

Jonah Hex V2 #8 Aug 2008
"Never Turn a Blind Eye"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray, story - Dylan Teague and Val Semeiks and Dan Green, art - David Beck, cover

It's the Southern Nevada Territory, 1868 (arrrgh. More later) and a small town is all astir because Jonah Hex just came riding in, his horse pulling a small wagon with a casket tied onto it. He pulls up in front of the jail and tosses the wagon's rope to the sheriff who pries open the casket only to find six heads inside.

Hex demands his money and the sheriff says he'll get it right away. Jonah tells him to bring it to the saloon. Jonah is relaxing in the saloon when a man stumbles through the swinging doors, not believing that he sees Jonah.  The man collapses and Hex tells the barkeep to fetch a doctor. The man, a fellow bounty hunter by the name of Jake Clevenger, is moved to a table where he relates the tale that he and Mike Brogan, Matt Tobias and Bat Shiff were tracking a man when they got ambushed two days out of Flagstaff.

It was a dozen or so bedroll killers and Jake was the only one to get away. The doc comes in and looks at Jake but Jake says that the killers are on his trail and will kill everyone and everything in town once they arrive. Jake tries to warn the sheriff but Hex tells him to let the doc finish his work first.

Outside, four men on horseback ride slowly into town. The storekeeper runs over to the saloon to tell the sheriff and Jake says that it has to be the killers, the sheriff had better be careful. The sheriff steps outside and asks if he can help the men. The men answer him in German and suddenly Jake bursts out of the saloon and shoots one of them through the head. One of the men shoots the sheriff in the shoulder, Hex steps out and kills two but the fourth one rides off.

The sheriff, bleeding from the shoulder tells Jake that he has to give up his gun. Jake says that there is no reasoning with crazy killers. The sheriff tells Hex that he could use his help to which Jonah replies that this is the sheriff's town and he better start handing out badges. Jake rails on about how they are all going to die and the sheriff panics and enlists the help of as many men as he can.

Hex goes back to the saloon and Jake is right behind him begging for help. Hex tells a saloon girl that he wants a room and she takes him upstairs. Jake said he thought Hex was one for taking sides and Jonah tells him that the only side that makes sense is his. Upstairs the saloon girl is getting undressed but Hex has a small telescope and is looking out the window. Hex asks her why she does this and...

Again with the "heh."

Outside, the sheriff is placing men all around town for an ambush and a large group of riders are getting close to town. The sheriff meets the riders in the middle of the street and Hex sees some wagons far outside of town with a lot of kids hanging around. He leaves the girl and heads downstairs.

In the street a woman from the riders approaches the sheriff and says "We is here...to..fair dealing." The sheriff is confused and just the Hex kicks Jake out of the saloon and into the street. The woman grabs a knife and lunges for Jake but the sheriff stops her but one of the townspeople get jumpy and shoot a rider.

Well, all hell breaks loose with riders shooting towners and towners shooting riders. One man shoots a woman rider in the back and Hex dispatches him without a thought. Once the shooting ceases...

Hex grabs a man, a rider, that is still alive and the man hands Hex a photo of himself and family. Just then several dozen kids come walking into town and start mourning their dead parents. Hex walks over to Jake a plants the muzzle of his pistol right between Jake's eyes, demanding an explanation. Jake starts stammering and Hex shoots him in the left knee.

Jake screams and relates the tale about how they were on the road to Flagstaff and come upon a young girl washing in a river. Things being what they are, Jake and his three buddies rape and kill the young girl. Her younger sister sees it and runs off but Jake shoots her in the back and kills her. The nearby wagon train hears the shots and commence to chase and kill the men, following Jake to this small town.

Back in the present, Jake is begging for mercy from Hex. Jonah grabs a rope and hands it to the surviving rider and then leaves town. As Hex rides off we see Jake strung up from a tree and several dozen children mourning in a graveyard.

Statistics for This Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 9. Six heads, two riders and a townsfolk.
Running Total - 555 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 53 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - 1868. But, as we all know, Nevada became a state on Halloween, 1864. Things like this should be easy to check, so why aren't they? I said "WHY AREN'T THEY!?!?!?!?"
Rape Percentage  - 37.5% (3 out of 8)

This story was a good heaping plate of "Meh." First off the artwork was rough. Dylan Teague did the first 13 pages and the last nine were by Val Semeiks and Dan Green. The change in work was pretty jarring and the break was after a couple of pages of ads. I found myself flipping back to see what had happened. Teague's work was very stiff and the last part of the book was too scratchy and cartoony. This ranks on the bottom of the pile as far artwork for this series.

The story wasn't that great either. A small exchange between Hex and the saloon girl showed some insight, but that was it. We end up with a misunderstanding that leads to dozens of deaths and it all started with... wait for it... rape. Wow, eight issues and three rapes. As Chris Sims once said:

But then again, there’s certainly stuff that turns me off just on principle; I stopped reading Jonah Hex because of all the wild west rape that was going on in that book, and if I never see someone in a DC comic have their arm violently ripped off again, it’ll be too soon. We all have our tastes.

I had to remind myself when Sims dropped the book (#27) but I have to admit I was getting tired of the rapes right about this time.  This is one story that could have been left out of any trades and the world would have been better off.

Next Issue - Things get really really weird and we have the return of Tony DeZuniga

Jonah Hex V2 #4 "The Time I Almost Died"

Jonah Hex V2 #4 Apr 2006
"The Time I Almost Died"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray, story - Luke Ross, art - Howard Chaykin, cover

Six armed men stand outside a log cabin, demanding that the inhabitants exit the premises. Frustrated, the men shoot the cabin to pieces and then storm in to find.... nothing. Standing in the middle of the cabin they uncover a trapdoor in the floor and as they are about to open it, Jonah Hex rains down death from his hiding place in the rafters. The men dead, Hex jumps down into the pools of blood as a man, Chako, crawls out of the trapdoor.

Turns out Chako is a bounty that Hex has been dragging along for two weeks since Chako is wanted alive. Chako keeps pleading his innocence and offers Hex bribes of women, other bounties, almost everything because he keeps talking non-stop.

When Hex and Chako finally make it to Tall Pines, Colorado, Chako is gagged and then turned over to the local sheriff. The mayor thanks Hex for bringing Chako in but Jonah notes that the mayor has no money in his hand. The mayor explains that the bank is closed but he will have the money first thing in the morning. Hex explains that he will take Chako back until the money is produced and demands that the mayor open the bank and get the cash.

Just then a young woman comes running down the street and slaps Hex across the face and spits in his eye. The mayor appears and apologizes for that is his daughter Mayleen. Mayleen is mute and is severely upset by what has transpired. The mayor states that the very mention of Chako's name drives her to tears and he instructs two of his men to take her back to the hardware store and settle her down. As she is escorted away, she throws a pleading look to Hex.

The mayor thanks Hex again for bringing Chako in and Hex says that he doesn't appreciate the mayor hiring Aubrey McHane and his boys as insurance and that they are all dead. The mayor asks if Hex is moving on and Jonah replies that it ain't none of the mayor's concern.

Jonah heads off for the saloon and gets into a poker game only to have Mayleen interrupt it with a note that states: Chako is innocent. I helped Chako escape. You brought him back. His blood is on your hands now. She runs out and Hex follows close behind.

Jonah catches up to her and asks "Are you saying that Chako DIDN'T rape you?" (Rape Reference #2 for the series) He demands to know what really happened but she won't reveal it. Hex tells her to get to someplace safe.

Jonah then goes to the jail and breaks Chako out, locking the deputy in the cell and demanding that Chako shut up and tell him what really happened. As they exit the jail, they are greeted by the mayor and three gunmen. The mayor gives instructions to tie and gag them, 'soften their dispositions' and have them ready to hang as soon as possible.

Hex wakes up sometime later to find himself in a cell with the still-talking Chako. Hex breaks Chako's nose to shut him up.

We then find the mayor locking Mayleen in a storeroom in the hardware store to keep her out of the way, but Mayleen starts working at getting the key out of the lock using a hairpin.

We next find the town gathered around the gallows, Chako and Hex gagged with nooses around their necks. As the mayor rails on about their crimes, Hex for helping a prisoner escape and Chako for raping the mayor's daughter we find Mayleen kicking open the storage room door, grabbing a rifle from the store and rushing to the gallows.

The lever is pulled and the trapdoor drops as Mayleen opens fire. The crowd turns and the mayor screams for someone to disarm his daughter, but the town is standing agape at what they see. Mayleen has taken the barrel of the rifle and written in the dirt:

MY FATHER DID IT

The mayor tells the executioner to throw the next lever, killing Hex. The townspeople shout for him to stop. The guy starts to pull the lever and a shot hits the gallows next to him, the townspeople have pulled their weapons and are now demanding Hex be released. They ungag Hex and he confirms Mayleens story, saying that Mayleen helped Chako escape. Mayleen runs up and hugs the hanging body of Chako.

The gallows trapdoor springs open and the mayor hangs dead next to the man he had killed... BUT WAIT! Chako is still alive! They cut him down and he starts talking ninety to nothing, thanking Hex  but asking where Hex is going.

Jonah mounts up and rides off into the sunrise muttering under his breath, "Somewheres quiet."

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 6
Running Total - 514 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 12 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - obviously beaten up and knocked out
Rape Percentage - 50% (2 references in 4 issues)

I enjoyed this issue, more for Chako than anything else. The idea of someone talking non-stop was played to a perfect comedic tone, especially the scene where Chako's nose gets broken. I enjoyed other little touches of Jonah not wanting to sit with his back to the saloon door; demanding that the mayor open the bank to get the money; the executioner apologizing for hanging Hex. The art was good, (the people are all distinct and the expressions are fantastic) the color and dialogue were great. A nice above average issue.

Next Issue: Geoffrey Lewis, Linda Hunt, Indians, sickness and NUNS WITH GUNS!!!

Jonah Hex V2 #9 "Gettin' Unhaunted"

Jonah Hex V2 #9 Sept. 2009
"Gettin' Unhaunted"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray, story - Tony DeZuniga, art and cover

Ambushed - We see several Indians riding along and then we find Jonah Hex crouched in an shelter of rocks, a dead Indians next to him, an arrow sticking through his right arm, another in his left leg, and blood pouring from his wound.  A small girl in a green dress walks up to Hex and he addresses her by name and asks her what is wrong. He mentions that things are worse than he thought and he reaches behind himself and breaks off the fletching from the arrow in his arm.

He then tells her not o watch and Hex pulls the rest of the arrow out through the front of his arm. Adele, the girl, holds the bloody arrow and then snaps it in two. She helps Hex dress his arm but the arrow in his leg has hit the bone. Hex loads Adele upon his horse, mounts up and they ride off across the desert. They keep riding until they come upon a hogan.

Spirit Walker - As they approach, an Indian woman steps out with a rifle stating that Death rides with Hex. Jonah collapses at the Indian's feet, saying that he can shoot Hex if he likes but just give the girl some water. Hex passes out and the woman drags him into the hogan. She starts performing a ceremony and Jonah slips into a delirium. We are then treated to a flashback:

Jonah rides into Fair Oaks, looking for Clete Abrahams. Adele walks up and asks Jonah about his face. Hex tells her to leave but she persists in her questioning. She asks if she can touch the scar and Hex lets her. Suddenly Adele's mom shows up and demands that Hex leave the girl alone. A crowd shows up and things get tense with folks demanding that Hex leave.

Just then Abrahams and two of his mob walk out of the saloon. Hex calls him out and the three men draw down on Hex. Jonah reaches to his horse and grabs his sabre, slicing two men open as their shots go wild. Abrahams fires again and this bullet glances off the blade. Jonah runs the blade through Abrahams and we hear Adele's mom scream.

Hex turns to find the little girl clutched in her mom's arms. Jonah yells for someone to get a doctor and then starts to dig out the bullet using his sword. He gets the bullet out as the doctor shows up. Adele asks why Jonah killed those men and then she dies.

Hex stands up and walks into the saloon, orders a bottle of whiskey and sits there drinking for two hours. Adele's mom storms in with Hex's sword. Hex looks up from the table and says that he'll give her one swing. She brings the sword crashing down, missing Hex. Hex pulls his pistol and draws a bead on her but the townsfolk have come in, guns drawn,  and Hex falls backward into a drunken stupor. The people start kicking Hex's fallen form and Adele's mom grabs up the sword but the people grab her and hold her back.

Visit with the Dead - Present day. It's night and Jonah finds himself among a cluster of boulders. A rattlesnake advances towards him and he shoots the snake's head off. He grabs it up, cuts off a chunk and wolf's it down and then rides until dawn, into the town where he encounters the town drunk. At gunpoint he steals the bottle from the drunk and then rides on to the town cemetery, to the grave of Adele Burns.

Just then a bullet strikes the bottle as Hex takes a draw on it. Adele's mom states that she has missed every time for the past four years. She says that there has to be a bullet with his name on it and then they have this exchange.
...

She leads Hex back to her cabin and in bed Jonah relates the story of being ambushed by the Indians. Just then three men enter the cabin, guns drawn, and Adele's mom states that some folks would pay handsomely for a chance to put a bullet into the famous Jonah Hex. The men pay her and they haul Hex off into the desert.

As they ride along....

Statistics for This Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - We see two dead Indians at the start and he kills three men during the flashback. 5 total
Running Total - 560 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 58 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Arrow in the right arm, arrow in the right leg, massive blood loss and probably dehydration.
Timeline - With the flashback, this one covers four years.
Rape Percentage - 33% ( 3 out of 9)

Wow, where do I start with this issue? How about the cover? Black and white with that beautiful slash of red blood, leading up to the DC logo and the title. All of that makes this stand out on the comic rack. The interior artwork by DeZuniga is much more stylized than his work from decades ago and it works great here. We're never really sure if we are seeing reality or suffering through Jonah's dreams and delusions. The panel of Adele holding the bloody arrow is especially haunting.

The story gives us such depth of Jonah Hex, showing us a slightly tender side with his exchange with Adele, the wild desperation as he performs surgery, his rampant alcoholism, and his absence of morality as he beds Adele's mom. The appearance of the vision of Adele makes me wonder if this is actually some form of self imposed penance that Hex's brain is foisting upon him around this time every year. The icing on the cake is the fantastic double cross at the end, bringing to mind the idea that Hex did this as a way to free Adele's mom from her prison of suffering while he will remain in his own hell.

My verdict? One of the best issues of the entire seventy issue run and a must read.

Next Issue - GATORS!!!! oh, and, um.......rape (but not gator rape. That's icky!)

Jonah Hex #13 V2 "Retribution Part 1 of 3"

Jonah Hex #13 V2 Jan '07
"Retribution, Part 1 of 3"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Jordi Bernet, art and cover

The Wyoming Badlands, 1868 - Two wagons sit under a full moon and four men huddle around a fire that is battling back the Wyoming darkness. Bix, Rufus, Pete, and Captain Fulsome are discussing their business, running stolen rifles down into Mexico.

Bix heads out into the black to relieve himself and during the continuing talk we learn that Fulsome served with Colonel Ackerman in the Confederacy. Rufus staggers back towards the fire and falls down, face first, a tomahawk embedded in his back, stuck clean through a wanted poster of the now dead Rufus (wanted for Murder, Train Robbery, and Rape(?!?)). Bix starts to panic and states "It's HIM".

Fulsome gives orders to kill the fire and cover the wagons. A rope leaps through the air and Pete finds himself yanked off his feet and drug into the dark. Bix makes it to the wagons and suddenly finds a knife in his chest, piercing the wanted poster with his likeness. Fulsome makes it to a wagon, yanks back the canvas and drags out one of two women and holds a pistol to her neck. (the woman says words to the effect "not again", so I am taking that as impending rape)

Fulsome shouts that he will kill the girl if he isn't allowed to leave. He should have killed 'him' at Fort Donelson and the camera slowly pulls back into the night.

Fort Donelson, Tennessee, 1862 - A Union wagon train is slogging through a downpour and a few Confederate soldiers rise out of the underbrush as the wagons roll by. They climb on to the back of the wagons in order to gain access to the Fort in the distance. Once inside, the Rebs attack and open the gates to the Fort, allowing the rest of their men access to the Fort. One Reb in particular seems awfully fond of using a tomahawk.

The Union forces finally get a Gatling gun set up and mow down the Confederates as they enter the Fort. Colonel Ackerman and Captain Fulsome stand over the bodies littering the ground. Ackerman looms above our downed Jonah Hex, noting that rumor has it he was raised by Apaches and that Jonah seems to have an affinity for being on the losing side. Ackerman orders all the bodies bayoneted except for Hex, of whom an example shall be made.

The Cumberland River, Sept 18th, 1862 - Day breaks and Jonah is tied to a large wooden X mounted on a raft. He has been stripped naked and covered with a Confederate flag. Ackerman and Fulsome are there and Ackerman gives Fulsome the order to proceed. Fulsome produces a large whip commences to whip Hex. Hex whispers that he will kill Fulsom but the promise rings false on the Captain's ears. He orders Hex set adrift and the raft is pushed out into the current.

For two full days and two full nights, Jonah hangs from the cross, mosquitoes and other bugs feasting in his bloody open wounds. On the third day, Jonah is sighted by a family on the river bank performing a baby's baptism.  The raft is caught and drug ashore. It is determined that Hex is alive, just barely.

Back at the house, we find Jonah on a table, with the father performing surgery on him, removing bullets, shrapnel, and maggots. The son (not the baby) asks if Hex will die. The father responds that the Good Lord saw fit to bring Hex to them so they will do what they can to save him. The boy continues to talk of the evil of Yankees. The father says that Yankees are men, differing only in their beliefs and measure of their brutality.

The boy mentions that he is scared and the father reassures him that the North will never reach this far south.

Some undisclosed time later, the father is reading in the paper that Lincoln is expected to issue an Emancipation Proclamation. Jonah staggers into the room. The father explains Jonah's situation and that with the damage to his throat, his voice will probably never be more that a coarse whisper. Jonah can stay until he heals, but once he is able to ride, he will be outfitted with a horse, clothes and a rifle.

January 17th, 1863 - During a thunderstorm, three Confederate soldiers come to the door of the house. The father opens the door.

Jonah and the boy are in the barn, saddling a horse when they hear a gunshot. Jonah grabs an axe and heads for the house. He finds the father in a pool of blood and the three soldiers grabbing the mother. She shouts that Confederates don't act tin this manner and they explain that they are not soldiers but they stole the uniforms in order to gain entry to homes.

Jonah bursts in and buries the blade of the axe into the head of one man, grabs his pistol and shoots the second. The last man reaches for his weapon and his head is deftly removed from his torso, courtesy of Jonah's axe.

Several hours later we see Jonah burying the father as the son looks on. The family mourns the loss of their husband and father. That night Jonah pays his respects and rides off.

The Wyoming Badlands, 1868 - Fulsome is still shouting to the dark the conditions of his letting the woman go. A pistol barrel gently eases against the back of his neck and we hear "Drop the gun." Fulsome states that it was Ackerman that slaughtered the Apache, Fulsome had nothing to do with it. The darkness replies "His time is coming."

Fulsome is grasping at straws now. He says that Ackerman can't be taken down, he has too many men, he'll be too angry to find his rifles stolen, he won't stop until Hex his dead. Hex orders Fulsome on his knees, places the wanted poster against Fulsome's chest and says...

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - 10 (Fulsome and his men, three 'Confederates', two in the fort and I'm not counting all the others dead in the fort) 
Running Total - 585 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 83 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Dehydration, exposure, shot, whipped.
Timeline - Well, 1868, flashback to 1862 and into 1863. The flashback covers four months, current day; about 15-30 minutes.
Rape Percentage - 46% (6 out of 13)

This story caused a lot of speculation when it was announced. How close would J and J stick to the Fleisher origin?  The details regarding the Fort Charlotte massacre were changed, pretty much removing Quentin Turnbull from the picture (for now) and the entire scene with the whipping brought up concerns that maybe THAT is how Jonah got his scars. So far (I'm trying to not give things away), I'm liking the story and I especially loved the explanation of Jonah's voice, something that we will never hear in a comic but allows us to cast his voice as that of Clint Eastwood.

Bernet's art, first time here, was slightly cartoony but gritty enough and fluid enough to really really work for me. In fact, I like more photo-realistic art myself, but Bernet won me over eventually. In some cases his work, cinematically, works as well as that of Ross, especially here...

All in all, a great issue and a fantastic place for folks to jump on board and learn more about the scarred bounty hunter.

Next Issue - Woodson Hex, The Apache and two panels that sum up the entirety of Jonah Hex's life.

Jonah Hex V2 #46 "The Six Gun War, Part 3"

 Jonah Hex V2 #46 Oct '09

"The Six Gun War Part 3"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover

El Papagayo drops his hand, signaling the firing squad to kill Tallulah and Bat Lash, but the resulting gunfire eradicates the firing squad as Jonah Hex, Lazarus Lane, Blue Eagle and his warriors come riding into the Mexican village bringing vengeful carnage. Tallulah and Lash pick up guns and start to open fire as well.

Hex chases down Papagayo and the first order of business is to obliterate his pet parrot. Hex then jumps off his horse and tackles Papagayo and punches him senseless. Lash and Tallulah run up, she grabs Hex, kisses him, slaps him, and kisses him again. Hex pushes her away and Lash waxes poetic about the unholy offspring those two would create if given the chance. Tallulah pulls her pistol and takes aim at Papagayo but Hex halts her hand, saying he has a plan for the Mexican bandit. 

Blue Eagle rides up, stating that one of Papagayo's men escaped but Hex says to let him go, he'll tell Turnbull that Hex is coming. Tallulah questions losing the element of surprise, but Jonah says Turnbull will be plenty surprised, besides, Jonah wants Turnbull to think he is prepared for Hex.

The escaped bandit rides all night, the next day and night and finally arrives at an Aztec pyramid, shouting that he must speak with Turnbull.

One week later, Papagayo hangs by his wrists, asking if Hex is gonna kill him. Hex says he isn't sure and Papagayo says he will not tell of Turnbull's location. Hex replies Papagayo should have because he'll have to answer to El Diablo. Hex tells Diablo that once he gets the info, Diablo can do what he wants with Papagayo. Hex bids Papagayo good night and walks off, leaving the Mexican bandit in terror of what is to come.

At Turnbull's hideout, a Mr. Robertson is questioning Turnbull's methods but Turnbull says that for the amount of money he has offered, all of the assassins he has contacted will show up. Turnbull runs down the list:

* A Nizari Isma'ilis with no name from the Middle East

* A Masai warrior from Africa

* An Irish killer from New York

* A Mexican mercenary

Robertson doubts they will succeed, but Turnbull tells him to mind the bookkeeping and ignore the blood work.

Back in Northern Mexico, Hex and Tallulah are sharing a bed and she asks if Diablo has broken Papagayo. Hex replies that he ain't heard no screaming for the past hour and Tallulah asks if she can pose a question. Jonah says she can go ahead and kill Papagayo. But she wants to know why Turnbull is so vengeful. Jonah says it goes back to the war and Tallulah observes that he is going to keep the rest to himself.

We then get a flashback of Jonah in the Civil War and we get a retelling of the Fort Charlotte Massacre. I won't retell it here, but it is very accurate to the original telling of the tale. Once the flashback finishes, Hex says he's done talking for the night but Tallulah says he hasn't said a word for five minutes.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Wow, there is no way to tell how many men Jonah killed in this one. Let's say a dozen
Running Total - 779 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 277 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - A punch to the jaw
Timeline - Two days of the bandit escaping plus two more weeks. For the whole story thus far, a little over four weeks
Rape Percentage -  25% (11 of 46)

This was a better chapter with the reuniting of our merry band but we now have our second deus ex machina with Hex and company killing the firing squad and the proper instant (the other being Hex's rescue from being buried alive). The flashback took up nine pages, leaving thirteen to advance the story, but the flashback was required for new readers, I get it.

The gathering of assassins piqued my interest, but we'll see how all of this plays out over the next three issues.

The rest of the book had a four page preview of Magog #1 (yawn)

Next Issue: A gathering of assassins and yet another friendly face appears.

Jonah Hex #17 V2 "The Ballad of Tallulah Black: Part 2"

Jonah Hex #17 V2 May '07

"The Ballad of Tallulah Black: Part 2"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Phil Noto, art and cover

Twice as Mean and Twice as Ugly - We open with a little target practice. A man stands with his arms outstretched, a bottle in each hand, a wanted poster (of him) pinned to his chest. Hex is using the man to train Tallulah how to shoot. Finally Hex instructs the man to place a bottle on his head and then straps a gun belt on him. Hex instructs the man that he can shoot Tallulah, but she HAS to shoot the bottle before she shoots him.

The man draws and the bottle topples from his head, Tallulah takes a bullet in the leg and shoots the bottle and the man with one shot. Hex has her strip off he pants and he sears the wound with a heated knife (since the bullet passed through).

Later the night, the dead man lying nearby, Tallulah and Jonah are sitting by the campfire and she starts questioning Jonah, Is he ever gonna hang up his guns, why not just become a sheriff, is there a woman and a farm in his life? Jonah puts an end to the questioning and goes to sleep. Tallulah sits there staring at Hex and slowly reaches out to him. Jonah tells her to go to sleep and she responds with venom at being rejected.

That night Tallulah has nightmares of being raped and disfigured and Jonah eventually has to slap her awake and then they find themselves in an a lovers embrace.

Been a Long Time Comin' - Next day, Hex is dragging the dead man behind his horse and Tallulah is riding alongside. She wears a bandanna over her face and then dismounts and goes into the saloon while Jonah collects his bounty. She walks up to the bar and inquires of seven men, former Rebs now working for the government. The barkeep keeps asking questions and finally Tallulah pulls down the bandana and announces that she is in the company of one Jonah Hex and she aims to have her vengeance. Just then the men in question come strolling down the stairs, full of liquor and accompanied by 'ladies' . 

Tallulah finishes her drink, turns and opens fires, killing three men and wounding a woman. She turns and heads into the street, luring the remaining four out into the open. She quickly dispatches one as Hex and the sheriff come out onto the boardwalk. The sheriff starts to intervene but Hex wards him off.

Tallulah takes one in the shoulder and Jonah shoots a man (who had snuck up behind Tallulah) in the back. She kills one more and finally it is just she and the ringleader. He shoots her in the leg and then they are both out of bullets. He starts to plead for his life and she starts to reload. He spies a pistol dear one of his dead partners and he lunges forward, grabs it and shoots Tallulah in the gut. He starts to crawl away toward another gun but she shoots him twice and he falls backwards. She stands over him and then falls down herself.

Hex picks her up and takes her to the doctor.

On the Spirit Trail - The doctor does what he can and then Hex pays him to go to the saloon and leave them be. Jonah goes inside and starts talking to Tallulah...

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - 1
Running Total - 605 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 113 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - This issue starts 3 months from last issue (this comes out during the campfire discussion) and covers a few days.
Rape Percentage - 41% (7 out of 17) 

This was one great issue and one of the high points was the relationship between Hex and Tallulah. The tension between Hex treating her like a human and like a pain in the ass teetered back and forth throughout the issue. The ending with the young girl being in the dream made one wonder if the girl was Death or just Tallulah's innocence. Of course, when we get to issue 70 even more questions are raised regarding the little girl.




Next Issue - Bear steaks, Mystery Meat and never get involved in a domestic dispute.

Jonah Hex V2 #21 "Devil's Paw"

Jonah Hex V2 #21 Sept. '07
"Devil's Paw"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray - story, Jordi Bernet - art and cover.

No Woman's Land

Red Mesa, territory/state unknown. A stagecoach rolls into town and three women on their way to Plimpton, disembark from the stage and inquire at the saloon as to where they could find dinner. This being a book written by J & J, the women and repeatedly raped in a two page montage.

Next we find ourselves in Plimpton (three days ride from Devil's Paw). Fella by the name of Montana and his gang are in the process of robbing the bank when about ten Pinkerton's get the drop on them and the shootout finds Montana's gang stuck in the bank. Montana jumps out a window, runs towards his horse and grabs up some saddlebags full of dynamite and dashes back into the bank. He then crawls out through an exit on the roof and leads a couple of Pinkerton's to the General Store where he blows them up with dynamite. Finally Montana and his men make a break for it as the bulk of the town catches fire and burns.

The Bounty Hunter Arrives

Jonah Hex is being hired to bring in Montana and his gang. They have robbed fifteen banks in the past few months and Mr. Jones is wanting payback for the death of his men. Jonah assures Jones that he will do his best.

Trail Through Devil's Paw

Montana and his men are crossing the desert, tailed relentlessly by a man who gives them no rest for the past three days (it is, of course, Hex). Montana decides to hole up in a nearby rock formation and set an ambush. The rock formation, the Devil's Paw, looks like a massive hand reaching up out of the earth. As Hex rides closer, we can see several types of writings and pictoglyphs on the walls, placed there by generations of Indians.

Night falls and Montana and his men have built a fire. A couple of the men are getting jumpy but Montana says they shouldn't worry about Indians, they have been moved off to the reservations. As they get ready to bed down, a shadow darts past them and appears by their horses, a lone Indian with a knife and a crazed look in his eye. The men panic and open fire, killing all of their own horses.

Jonah hears the shooting and more commotion. As he closes in on the camp, he comes across one robber, dead and scalped. Jonah moves in closer to where another robber is being scalped alive as Montana tries to take a shot at the Indian. Montana misses and flees, running straight into Hex. Hex and Montana stand there, guns pointed at one another, the Indian silhouetted against the rising moon, bloody scalps in his hand. Montana tells Jonah that Hex has bigger worries and Jonah shoots him dead.

Then, as the Indian looks on, Jonah pulls out his knife and scalps Montana himself and tosses the scalp on the ground. He drags Montana's body out of the rock formation, hoists it across his saddle and heads out.

Smoke Signals to God

Jonah rides into the town of Red Mesa and walks into the saloon. He sees the dead women and stage drivers on the floor. He pours whiskey on one of the men sleeping amongst the carnage, asks if they had fun with the women and then kicks the man's teeth in.

Shortly, the saloon is ablaze with Jonah standing in the street. As the men inside awaken, they run out and Hex guns the first one down. Others, without their guns, have the choice to burn or run. Each of them run for it and each one dies as Jonah picks them off.

The saloon engulfed in fire, Jonah stands in the street and observes....

Statistics for this issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Well, Montana and a bunch of guys at the saloon. Uh.... 10?
Running Total - 636 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 144 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None this time
Timeline - No way to put a date on this one, no reference to anything else. It does cover quite a few days in travel.
Rape Percentage - 38%, up from 35% (8 out of 21)

This one was pretty lame no matter how you cut it. The useless rapes in Red Mesa were nothing but a device for Jonah to gun down a bunch of guys, the Indian living in Devil's Paw served no purpose, and how Montana and his gang got out of Plimpton wasn't really very clear either. This was probably the worst issue of the series so far, but there are worse ones coming, believe me.

Next Issue: Tesla! Edison! Electricity! and the darkest murkiest artwork you ever did see!

Jonah Hex V2 #47 "The Six Gun War, Part 4"

 Jonah Hex V2 #47 Nov '09

"The Six Gun War Part 4"

Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Cristiano Cucina - art and cover

El Papagayo continues to hang by his wrists, the wind whips sand around him as Hex, Lash, Tallulah, Lazarus Lane, Blue Eagle and his warriors ride out of the town, heading for Turnbull's mine. Hours pass and Hex, Lash and Tallulah scout on ahead and spot a large number of horsemen heading their way. Hex identifies them as trouble and the three turn tail and head back to Blue Eagle and the others.

They come to a river, ride across, meeting Blue Eagle on the other side. It is there they turn to thwart the oncoming horsemen. As the Mexicans close in, Hex and his bunch open fire, taking out several. Then they turn head further downstream, looking for a better place to hole up. They find a spot and hide the horses further up in the hills and hunker down, prepping for the fight.

The Mexicans approach the river and send a rider into the water. He shouts that they cannot pass through the canyon without paying the tax, they are outnumbered and they want the woman (typical marauder stuff). Bat Lash lets out a chuckle saying the Mexican's clearly didn't get a look at Tallulah. She gets riled and opens fire on the Mexicans. There is a LOT of back and forth arguing between  she and Hex and Lash until the main group of riders storm across the river and the firefight erupts in earnest.

Lazarus Lane, not one who is not normally involved in such violence has to gin up his courage and start shooting. After several minutes of gunfire, the Mexicans take the worst of the damage, turn and run.

Back at Turnbull's mining operations, he is 'entertaining' the assassins that he has hired, including a pair of female twins that were not mentioned last issue. He tells them that their targets are experienced and possess a lot of luck. Flannery, the Irishman, says he knows about luck and Turnbull replies that he doesn't care if Hex's companions are killed, he is paying for Jonah's head. The Nizari Isma'ilis states that he shall be the first one to return with Hex's head and Flannery tosses an insult his way. Tempers flare and a fight almost breaks out before Turnbull shouts them all into silence.

Turnbull explains that six miles north of the mines is a small town with a saloon, he knows that Hex's troupe will stop there because they cannot go long without partaking of liquor. It is there that Hex must be killed.

Soon Hex and his group arrive at the small town and head into the saloon with Blue Eagle waiting outside. As the group bellies up to the bar who should appear than none other than Chako. And what should hit Chako's jaw but none other than Jonah's fist. Bat Lash is lured away by a saloon girl, Hex and Tallulah pour their drinks and walk off and Lazuras Lane finds a comfortable table.

Eventually Chako slides up alongside Hex and starts telling him that they are all in danger. Turnbull has hired the entire town to get Hex and friends drunk and then kill them Chako tells of the assassins, six or seven, and once Hex is drunk, the plan is for a villager to give the signal and the killers will move in. Hex suddenly grabs Chako by the throat and shouts that he won't give him any more money and to take off. Chako whispoers to Hex that was very clever and Hex replies that Chako should tell Blue Eagle outside to keep an eye open for the killers. Chako leaves and the night continues onward.

Much much later everyone is passed out or asleep and Hex rises and strides to the door. As he steps out into the moonlight he finds the street littered with the dead bodies of Blue Eagle and his warriors.

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed by Jonah - Once again, a lot of shooting and bodies everywhere. No way to tell who killed whom. We see that Hex took at least five shots so let's call it eight
Running Total - 787 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 285 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - We know it takes about two days to get from the Mexican town where they left El Papagayo to Turnbull's mine, so two more days.So far, four and a half weeks.
Rape Percentage -  23% (11 of 47)

This one was all set up, the semi-calm before the storm. There was some action with the shootout against the Mexican bandits but the geography of the fight (crossing the river, crossing back, etc) was more confusing than anything. And the constant banter between the main actors was almost annoying. It was good to see Chako, but so far, this is the weakest chapter in the story. 

There was also a six page preview of R.E.B.E.L.S. Annual #1: Starro the Conqueror!

Next Issue: Hex faces off against the gang of assassins and it goes.... well....